Random Acts of Senseless Violence (14 page)

Why don't you talk to us? he asked. She too good to talk, another one said. She look like she good for something, another one said. ‘I don't want to hang around with boys' I said telling the truth. You dress like you do baby what's this back here? the big one said and grabbed my butt. Another one who was missing a tooth in front put his hand under my shirt. Some of the men were speaking Spanish to them like they wanted them to quit but the boys didn't pay any attention. ‘Let me go' I said but they didn't. You ought to go with us one of them said. Let's go to the park for awhile said the big one and then he squeezed my butt till it hurt. They were still laughing and I wanted to get away from them, I didn't think it was funny and I don't think they did either.

Then a girl said ‘Yo yo yo yo Mico the maricon.' The boys let go of me and stepped back. I looked and it was Iz and Jude and another girl crossing Tiemann Place. ‘Yo Mico two hands on the books please' said Iz. I walked over to them, away from the boys. Don't dog us we just saying hello the big one said. His name was Mico I thought. ‘Dogs be dogged' said Jude. Slack us bitch hada's meant said Mico. ‘Mighty mass boys think they be trumpin' said the girl I hadn't met yet. She was the one who said yo yo yo. She was Spanish too and wore seven pairs of earrings and noserings on both sides of her nose. Her pants were so tight that if you cut her she wouldn't bleed. ‘You want hosin Mico go hose gangstagirls uptown you hear g girls
spread they sorry ass to any old shit' Jude said. Chinga tu madre said Mico and Jude laughed. ‘Find her first but don't be dickin this block.' He lifted his cane like he was going to hit her. ‘No trouble getting that up' Iz said to him. Mico looked like he wanted to hit them both but they just stood there and then he backed off. ‘Beat it moreno' Iz said. ‘Hasta, jibaros' said the Spanish girl. The boys muttered and cursed and then walked uptown. ‘Pansyass motherfuckers' Iz shouted and they looked back but didn't say anything.

‘Thanks' I said. ‘Go out lookin like you do they think you fishing with big bait' said the Spanish girl. ‘What about the way you're dressed?' I said. Iz and Jude laughed. ‘What about it?' she said looking very mad, but just for a minute. ‘Don't funnyface her' Iz said and I didn't know which one of us she was talking to so we both shut up. ‘Streethangers after you cause they deadhead' Jude said. ‘However you look. They fuck anything room temperature' Iz said. ‘Come with us we're on the prowl' Jude said. ‘What are you doing?' I asked. ‘Hanging just hanging' said Iz. ‘Okay' I said. I wondered if those boys would have done anything if the girls hadn't come along. Probably not because the men were looking at them funny and I would have started screaming if they'd have kept pushing me. Just the same you never can tell what's going to happen with strangers.

We girls started walking downtown up the hill. We walked side by side and made other people walking toward us get out of our way. As we walked I saw the Spanish girl had a limp but didn't have a cane. ‘What's your name?' I asked her. ‘Weezie' she said not looking at me. ‘You don't wanta know her real name' Iz said. ‘You the new girl moved in?' Weezie asked. I nodded. ‘You not Spanish.' ‘No' I said. ‘Jewish?' ‘How could you tell?' I asked. ‘I'm people literate' Weezie said. ‘Only kind of literate' said Jude. ‘I spy some cholo airin his heels I tell you which island he footed last' said Weezie. ‘That's good?' She shook her head. ‘Straight' she said.

Around Barnard were lots of college girls with their books. I always thought I'd go to Barnard or maybe Smith, they don't let boys go to Smith and that's a plus. The other girls looked at the students as we walked by but nobody said anything except Jude. ‘Chumps' she said but then got quiet again. ‘You go private school?' Weezie asked. I guess she could tell that too and I wasn't going to lie. ‘Yes' I said. ‘You like it?' Iz asked. ‘It's all right. It's school, you know' I said. They nodded. ‘Do you like school?' I asked and they laughed. At first I thought they were laughing at me but then Jude said ‘Too deadhead for me.' ‘Boys be dillingerizin the hall all day dag' said Weezie. Iz didn't say anything and I guessed she liked school but didn't want to say. ‘Do they shoot people in your school?' I asked. ‘They detectored but there's ways' said Weezie. ‘She oughta know' said Jude. ‘Show her Weez.'

Weezie was wearing shiny knee boots with electric tape on the toes. She reached into one of them and pulled out a Rambo knife a foot long. She grabbed my arm and stuck the knife point right under my chin and smiled and showed her gold teeth in front. I know I should have been scared Anne but it was the strangest thing, I wasn't. Iz and Jude didn't look worried and maybe that was why I didn't get scared. Weezie laughed and let go of me and we kept walking. Some people on the street looked at us but not many. Most of the people we saw wouldn't look at us as if we weren't really there.

‘Dominican toothpick' said Weezie. She tossed her knife in the air and caught it before putting it back in her boot. ‘You crazy Weez you get exed out some day sticking people with that' Iz said. ‘Unless they gunnin nobody argue with this' said Weezie. ‘Almost cut her foot off last month that's why she's hopping' said Jude. ‘What happened?' I asked. Weezie blushed like she was embarrassed but Iz told me. ‘Psycho Killer here she cruising with Charmin and Blood T one night trying to faze the Renegades' Iz said. ‘Skying her blade like flipping heads with a quarter. Dropped it right
through her foot. That's why she tape those slut slippers.' ‘You go to the hospital?' I asked. I wanted to see what her foot looked like but since we just met I didn't think she'd show me. ‘Don't funnyface me they'd just hand me Tylenol say see if it's poison' said Weezie. ‘She didn't do nothing' said Jude. ‘Doctor girl just pull it out wipe it off she been gimpin ever since. Shit' she said and laughed.

At 110th Street they headed down into the subway. ‘We gotta go to the bank' Jude said. ‘Meeting folks downtown.' ‘You around tomorrow?' Iz asked me. I nodded. ‘Be outside the Chinese place cross Broadway noontime' she said. ‘Okay' I said and then she ran after Jude and Weezie. I walked further downtown and then came back along Riverside because I didn't want to see those boys if they were still hanging out on Broadway. I wanted to go to a movie or a museum or something but where's the money so there wasn't anything to do except walk around. Riverside Park always looks so scary not like Central Park at all. There were police cars parked along the street at 116th and there were police all over the place. I didn't know what had happened but I was glad it didn't happen to me.

‘What did you do sweetie did you have a good time?' Mama asked me when I got back. ‘Just walked around with some girls I met' I said. ‘Do they live in the neighborhood my angel?' ‘Around here yes' I said. ‘I'm glad you're making friends sweetie I'm so glad' Mama said. ‘We'll be living here from now on won't we?' I asked. I knew it was true that we would and I didn't see why we should all tell lies about it. Mama looked sad when I asked her like I'd told her I hated her or something bad like that. ‘Oh darling no no we won't we'll be back home someday you wait and see' Mama said. ‘It's all right if we don't but I just want to know' I said because I could tell she was fudging like crazy. ‘No my sweetie don't you fret we'll be back home before you know it and Daddy won't have to work for that awful lunatic any more and the trains won't keep us up at night' Mama said. ‘I'm used to them' I said. ‘They don't wake me
up anymore.' ‘Oh sweetie they shouldn't have ever woken you up at all.' She gave me a big hug and a kiss and then went back to proofing her manuscripts. I saw the check she got for the first one she did, it got here very fast she said. It was only for a hundred dollars.

I'm glad Iz wants to get together with me tomorrow. She seems really nice and not just because she was the first person up here to talk to me. Weezie seems dangerous even though she's friendly. Jude's all right but she acts like she's always thinking about something else far away. It's funny how you wind up with your friends, sometimes I think you always look for someone who's the most like you. That's probably why I like Iz the best even though it seems like she's so different, I don't think she really is.

Four more days till Lori gets back from the camp. I can't wait to see her. I wonder if she'd get along with Iz. Probably not though, I've heard her say nigger before even though she says she's not a racist and has worn buttons and everything.

Night night Anne.

APRIL
12

Our air conditioner isn't working so me and Boob boiled last night. Better get used to it though there's no money for a new one even if it wouldn't blow the fuses.

At noon I met Iz across the street who was already there. It was just as hot today as yesterday. Iz was wearing a halter and tight jeans that made her look fatter than she really is. ‘Where's Jude and Weezie?' I asked. ‘They partied bigtime last night and sleep like they dead' Iz said. ‘Can't hang waiting on them daylong I got to do right with my time. You eat?' I shook my head. ‘Come on then not Chinese though I don't want to eat cats' she said and pulled a ten dollar bill from her pants pocket. It was quite a struggle. We walked around the corner on 125th Street and went to a Spanish restaurant. Iz ordered rice and beans
at the counter and got two Cokes out of the machine. We sat in a booth away from the window brushing all the crumbs from the seats. A cockroach crawled over the table-top and Iz squashed it with her thumb and wiped it on her jeans.

‘Why you moved up here really you run out of money?' she asked me when the waiter brought our rice and beans. ‘Yes' I said. ‘My Daddy's a screenwriter but they're not making movies they want him to do right now so we're broke practically' I said. ‘He makes movies?' ‘Writes them.' ‘What kind?' ‘All kinds.' ‘What's he doing if he's not writing movies?' ‘Working at Excelsior bookstore in mid-town.' ‘Dag I went in there solo one time to buy books for English class and they on me like flies.' ‘The owner's such a psycho' I said. I told her about the time I saw him hitting his head on the dumbwaiter yelling fuck me fuck me. ‘Crazyass motherfuckers crazier they act better jobs they get' Iz said. ‘That's probably why they were following you' I said. ‘They following me cause I'm black fuck em' Iz said.

After we ate we walked uptown toward Harlem but not actually in it. There're all these abandoned warehouses and burned out buildings where the subway runs above ground. Nobody said anything to us except a different group of boys we walked by saying the usual. Even though it was hot again today I wore loose jeans this time so nobody would think I was trying to be hot but it didn't make much difference because of the way Iz was dressed.

‘You got to eye close up here' Iz said. ‘Weezie almost cut you yesterday.' ‘I didn't do anything' I said. ‘You did you dissed her about her slut clothes' Iz said. ‘That's how she was dressed' I said. ‘Don't matter that's why she bladed you like that.' ‘Why didn't she cut me then?' ‘She wanted to fear you let you know she don't slack.' ‘She'd have cut me for that?' ‘Weezie's crazy' Iz said. ‘I don't know what private school's like except on TV but you don't dis like that less you want cutting or worse.' ‘Should I say I'm sorry?' I asked. ‘No that'd just make her crazier it's done so don't
ulcer yourself she let it slide' Iz said. ‘You didn't look scared' I said. ‘No she coulda had you head and nothing we could do about it if she wanted to move, Weezie fast. And I don't want to get it. She blade first think later' Iz said. ‘Then why do you hang with her?' I asked. ‘She's our friend and got big league talent besides' Iz said.

‘Thanks for telling me I wouldn't have known' I said. ‘You'd known when you got that blade in you neck' Iz said. ‘Just lipstill round her though that's best. She almost got me one time cause I tell her she raising a pussy tickler like Spanish girls get sometime.' ‘What's that?' I asked. ‘Mustache' Iz said. ‘Tickles. Took me months figure out which way to stand when she blowing. Me and my mom just moved up here last year when our name hit the top of the list, it was rough till I met Jude. Jude's my main. We girls together. It's handleable' Iz said. ‘How old are you?' I asked. ‘Twelve' she said. ‘Jude and Weezie, they fourteen. What are you? Thirteen fourteen? You not fifteen are you?' ‘I'm twelve too' I said. ‘Dag you tall for you age then. That's what threw me. Can't tell from what you know' Iz said.

One of the big old warehouses we walked by didn't have any windows along Broadway and only a couple of doors. The wall was painted over with dozens and dozens of names in bright colors. Iz saw me looking at it and said ‘That's who's dead lately. Drugs.' ‘There's so many' I said. ‘They painted over it twice since I been living up here, there's always more. The Pit, that's a block over going that way' Iz said pointing east. ‘What's the Pit?' ‘That's where they all hang selling they crack and whoring. Bad news. Don't ever go over there you can keep from it' Iz said.

We stopped at 137th Street. ‘Eye that way' Iz said. About ten blocks up there was a lot of black smoke and police cars and fire engines with their lights flashing. There hadn't been anything about more riots on TV so I thought it must have just started. ‘Going down like this a week now' Iz said. ‘Let's head back.' Then we walked back down
Broadway. The subway kept going through like it didn't make any difference that there was a riot going on.

On our side of Broadway but further up is a huge building that's another housing project. It's so big it blocks out the whole sky and river for several blocks. ‘I live on the twentieth floor there' Iz said. ‘Is it nice?' ‘Good view' she said. ‘You ever been to Jersey?' ‘Sure' I said. ‘One day I'm going to go to Jersey. Just get on the bus go over see what it's like' Iz said. She made it sound like China. ‘You probably been to Europe and all over like that' Iz said. ‘Just once' I told her. ‘What was that like?' she asked. ‘Pretty' I said. ‘Not like here?' she asked. ‘No' I said.