Restless (Relentless Series Book 2) (4 page)

I frowned. What the hell? I guess being a rock star had its perks. Luke grinned and led the way out to the dance floor to find Emmy. We danced around him and had fun making him blush when we ground our hips into his. He was a great sport at letting us act like fools.

A few drinks later we sat up in a VIP booth looking out over the club. Being with Emmy and Luke had advantages. Lexi had showed up with a very hunky doctor she worked. He stared at Em and she blushed every time he touched her. She would have to give that story up if I had to talk about Stephen. I downed my drink and motioned to our waitress that I needed another.

“Slow down there, cupcake. If you’re not careful I'll have to carry your ass out of here.”

“That’s the point, Luke.”

His eyebrows knitted together in concern and I drunkenly laughed at him. Things had a very cozy blur around the edges. The appeal of the drunken bubble was growing by the second because it meant I didn’t think about hard issues. Fuck thoughts. I grabbed Luke’s hand and drug him out to dance some more with me. Lexi stared down at me with a judgy expression on her face and it pissed me off.

“Stupid bitch,” I mumbled.

Luke looked at me confused. “Who in the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just dance with me until I can’t stand up.” I tripped and almost fell flat on my face as soon as the words were out of my mouth. “Oh fuck me.”

His arms wrapped around my waist. “If I swung that way, maybe. James wouldn’t like it though.”

“You have a new boyfriend?” I asked putting my hand on his cheek. He laughed and helped me straighten me up.

“Yep. He wanted to meet you tonight, but that’s probably not a good idea.”

“I want to meet him,” I slurred.

“Soon, but I don’t think that’s an option right now. You’re going to fall if I let go of you. Let’s get you to Em’s apartment so you can pass out and sleep it off.”

I snuggled into his chest. “You’re the best. Stephen used to take care of me, but I fucked that up.”

Oh god, the word vomit was starting. I just hoped the real vomit didn’t start soon. I needed another drink.

“Rise and shine, pumpkin.”

Light streamed in through the curtains and I thought my head might explode. “Why are you trying to kill me?” I groaned.

“It’s not my fault you drank enough for an entire frat house.”

I groaned again and pulled the pillow over my face.

“Uh uh, we’re going to brunch with Lexi and Luke.”

“Emmy, I’m not going anywhere. I want to sleep for another few hours, rinse and repeat.”

She ripped the pillow from my arms.

“Get your ass out of this bed and in the shower.”

I gave her a dirty look, but climbed out of the warm comfy covers. Knowing her, if I didn’t she would drag me by my hair to the bathroom. She smiled triumphantly, and I flipped her off.

Ten minutes later I felt a little better, but there were little men in my head shoving ice picks into my brain. Dark aviators covered my eyes, and I made sure I took a mountain of aspirin before we left the apartment.

“Why are you dragging me along anyway?”

“Because it’s time you talk. We’re getting there a few minutes early so you don’t have to worry about Lexi.”

“Normally I love her, but she’s too close to this one. She will always take Stephen’s side.”

Emmy narrowed her eyes at me, but I tried to ignore it. “Who says I’m not taking Stephen’s side?”

I looked at her exasperated. “Stephen doesn’t have a side. We weren’t that serious.”

“Magnolia Taylor Montgomery, quit being a bitch. You had something amazing. Violet and I watched you two flirt for years, but we never pushed. Then something happened after Vi’s wedding and you two quit talking, but still we didn’t question it. When you moved to California, things got serious. So serious in fact that you two bought a house together. Are you telling me you weren’t sleeping with him?”

I didn’t answer. There was no point in denying we were having massive amounts of amazing sex. She'd heard all about his amazing skills. 

“Okay, so get your head out of your ass. You miss him don’t you?” I looked at the menu in front of me, trying to avoid her question. "I’ll rip that menu out of your hands and beat you with it. Damn it, Taylor. You didn’t get restless and leave this time, so you must have real feelings for him. What scared you so bad that you decided the best course of action was to leave him?"

“What does it fucking matter, Em? I left. He won't forgive me again. Don't forget this isn't the first time I've flipped the fuck out.”

“It does matter,” she said softly. “If you want him, then you need to go back.”

“I can’t. I’m too damaged to fix whatever there was between us. He’s better off without me.”

Her eyebrows drew together, and she tilted her head. “What is going on with you? You’ve never acted like this before.”

I looked away from her and tears gathered in my eyes. Time to change the subject. “I met someone at a bar in Vegas.”

“What?” she asked in disbelief.

“His name was Rhys.” She stared at me. “I couldn’t sleep with him. He would have been perfect to move on from Stephen, but I couldn’t do it. The ridiculous part is that I had a real connection with him, but it would just make me feel worse about everything.”

“Have you talked to him since Vegas?”

"No, but I found his number in my phone. He must have put it in when I went to the bathroom."

Emmy pushed her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “Wow. I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“Join the club.”

“Do you want to see Rhys again?”

"No." I paused. "Maybe. I don’t fucking know. He’s hot as hell and he could make your knees weak with one kiss, but I’m nowhere near ready to try another relationship. Fuck, before Stephen I didn't do relationships, besides I didn’t even talk to him before I left.”

“Don’t you think that’s important?”

“Yeah, but I’m a chicken, so I just left. I didn’t want to explain why I’m such a pussy.”

“Just promise me you'll think about going back.”

Luke and Alexis came up to the table, relieving me from the painful conversation. Luckily, Lexi wanted to talk about Adam, the guy she was trying to hook Emmy up with. I nodded at all the appropriate times and laughed at all the jokes, but I was preoccupied. Lexi only shot me a few dirty looks. Really, I couldn't blame her though. I broke her brother's heart. It was only fair she hated me.

I opened the door to Violet’s house with my key and quietly went inside. It was late, so I didn’t want to wake anyone up. My plan was to go sleep in my old room and talk to everyone in the morning, but as I turned to go to the guest room Violet turned the corner. She wrapped me up in a hug so hard that it made it hard for me to breathe.

“Thank goodness you’re home. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

"Did I wake you up?"

"No, Harper just went back to sleep and I heard you coming in. Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head and thank goodness she didn’t push. My big sister had always let me tell her things on my own time and I was grateful this wasn’t any different.

“Did you go to your house or did you come here without even stopping there?” I stared at her and she held her hands up in defense. “I’m just asking.”

“I don’t think that will go over very well to show up there out of the blue.”

“He might be happy to know you’re still alive.”

“Cut the crap, you’ve told him I’m fine. The calls from him stopped as soon as I talked to you.”

“Taylor, you disappeared for two weeks. He’s freaking out wondering what the fuck is going on with you.”

“He knows what my issues are. This is my normal, remember?”

She sighed. “I would love to continue this conversation, but it’s three in the morning and I’m exhausted. Harper is teething and we’ve been up half the night. I’m ready to go lie down, not fight over if you need to go talk to Stephen or not.”

I pulled her into a hug. “Thank you.”

“Love you, little sister.”

“Love you too. See you in the morning.”

I picked my bag up and made my way back to my room. At least one awkward greeting was out of the way, but all I could think of was how bad it would be when I saw Stephen for the first time. Moving to California had been hard enough; this would be a million times harder.

There was no way I could go to sleep now. I changed into yoga pants and pulled out my laptop. At least if I couldn’t sleep I would get some work done.

I stared up at the beautiful beach house that Stephen and I had purchased a year ago. We moved in while Violet was pregnant with Harper because she needed a push to figure things out with Jax. My fingers trembled as I pulled my keys from my purse. For all I knew, my key might not even work in the lock. The only reason I was here was because it was time to get my things. Jaxon had offered to go for me, but I couldn’t make him do that. Everything was awkward enough because of me.

The lock clicked, and I slowly pushed the door open. Stephen’s car wasn’t in the driveway, so I didn’t bother calling out. Unless he had hired a maid while I was gone there wouldn’t be anyone in the house. I would get in and out without anyone finding out I was there. That was my plan anyway. Why were my plans always blowing up in my fucking face?

None of my stuff had been moved. My clothes still hung in the closet, my shampoo was still in the shower and the picture of me and Stephen still sat on my side of the bed. It had been taken one afternoon at the beach. I picked up the picture and stared down at our happy faces. The moment had been captured forever, but I barely remembered the feeling.

“What are you doing here?” Stephen’s deep voice startled me, causing me to fumble with the picture. I turned and saw him standing in the doorway. His hair was slightly damp, making his dark brown hair look almost black. He must have been out on the beach and that's why his jeep wasn't here. There was a place not far from here where he loved to surf.

“I just came to get some of my things.”

The glare of his whiskey colored eyes pinned me in place. I wanted to move. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to scream at him about the ring, but mostly I just wanted his arms around me again. A single tear slid down my face. Coming here had been a horrible idea. My feet moved faster than my brain could process what was happening.

I made it to the kitchen before he caught up with me. His hands wrapped around my waist and he spun me so I was facing him. He caught me off guard when his lips met mine. His mouth tasted like mint and it was so fucking perfect. My fingers tangled in his hair and he tilted my head to deepen the kiss.

He backed me up, crowding me until I was where he wanted me. His strong hands grabbed my waist and sat me down on the counter top, spreading my legs and centering himself between them. The wrap dress I wore gaped at the neck, and his fingers pinched at my nipples as they peaked over the edge. My dress was gone in seconds, pooling on the counter next to me as he untied the knot holding it in place. I moaned when Stephen’s fingers rubbed at my wetness through my panties.

"Did you miss me, baby?"

I whimpered against his mouth and he chuckled. My head fell back as he pushed the flimsy lace to the side and his finger slipped inside me. His tongue ran up the column of my neck and he groaned as my fingers dug into his back. The muscles of his forearm bulged as he found the perfect spot.

He stopped long enough to tug his soft grey t-shirt over his head. I sucked and nipped at his sun-kissed skin as it came into view. Freckles dusted his shoulders. The sound of my shoes hitting the floor barely registered. He sank to his knees in front of me and licked my swollen nub. He caught my clit between his teeth and sucked hard, causing me to buck against his face. His arms pinned me in place as he continued his wonderful assault.

“Come, Taylor.”

“Oh god. Fuck yes, Stephen,” I groaned, digging my fingernails into the back of his head. His whiskey eyes met mine, and it was all I needed to explode in a powerful orgasm. He controlled my body, and he knew it. My shrill, keening cries bounced off the walls of the kitchen. As I came back down from my amazing high, Stephen unbuttoned his jeans and let them fall down to his ankles. I reached out and palmed his length. The height of the counter had us lined up perfectly.

"Is your shot still good?"

I nodded, and he sank his teeth into my bottom lip as he thrust into me.

"Oh, I’ve missed this," he said as he tangled his fingers in my hair. "You feel fucking amazing." 

He pounded into me like a man possessed, but I wanted more. My fingernails bit into his back. He nipped at my shoulder as I kissed the column of his neck. His hips rolled against mine in a punishing rhythm and I rocked against him in response. 

My head fell back as I fought off the beginnings of another orgasm. Stephen’s mouth bit and sucked at my swollen nipples. The wet heat of his tongue ran up my neck and his mouth captured mine in a demanding kiss.

“Fuck, I’m so close,” I whispered, breaking our kiss. My arm wrapped around his neck and I pulled him closer. I wanted more, but I couldn't tell more of what. His thrusts became erratic and frenzied. He hammered into me, gripping my legs tight enough to leave bruises.

“I need you to let go, Taylor. I need you to come on my cock. Now,” he growled. My eyes met his and silently begged him to go over the edge with me. His husky groan filled my ears as he thrust into me. I convulsed around him, unable to hold off my orgasm any longer. “You are so fucking beautiful when you come, baby.”

His forehead dipped to mine, and I closed my eyes, savoring the peace I finally felt.

“I’ve missed you,” I whispered. His hands tensed on my hips for a second.

“Come home.”

Stephen kissed the side of my neck softly. My body stiffened and he pulled up his jeans and set to putting himself right. The loss of him was instant, leaving me feeling vulnerable. It terrified me that within one second his entire demeanor changed. Reaching down, I tugged my dress back into place and quickly tied it. It hurt that he could dismiss what happened between us so easily, especially after telling me to come back.

“What does it solve, Stephen? We haven’t even had a conversation since I’ve been 'home'.”

“How about you explain why you left in the first place?” He tried to bite back his anger, but it rang out loud and clear in his actions. My gaze fell to his clenched fists and the flexing muscles in his forearms.

“You know why I left.”

“No, I don’t. I think I have a good idea, but you didn’t stick around long enough to ask questions, did you?”

I hopped off the counter and slid my shoes back on my feet. Stephen didn’t want to talk, he wanted to fight. I folded my arms across my chest and narrowed my eyes at him. His post orgasm glow needed some work. Something about having his touch seared on my skin while we discussed my disappearing act didn’t seem right.

“Do we have to do this right now?” I said, waving my hands between us. “I don’t want to fight.”

“Are you ever going to talk to me? Or are you just going to keep pushing me away until there’s nothing left between us?”

I looked away from him and out the window. The very large window that we had just had sex in front of. And I saw my brother-in-law’s retreating back. Fuck me. I was positive he had just seen more of his sister-in-law and best friend than he ever wanted to.

“Pay attention, Taylor.”

“I am paying attention, but what do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell me what happened.”

I turned back and looked him in the eyes. “I found the fucking ring, Stephen. You already knew that. Why are you making this so hard?”

“Now ask me where it came from.”

“Stephen,” I started, but he cut me off.

“Ask me where the fucking ring came from, Taylor,” he said with an edge to his voice.

I sighed. “Where did the ring come from?”

“My mother gave it to me, not because I asked for it, but because she said she saw something between us when we went home for your dad's funeral. I didn’t go out and buy you a goddamn ring, Taylor. You were too fucking scared to ask me why I had it, so you ran away!”

My heart stopped in my chest. Everything we had, I threw away because I was too fucking scared to ask him the truth. This wasn’t the first time I ran either. After Violet’s first wedding we barely made it to the next morning before I was on a plane out of Georgia.

“Stephen, I’m—”

“Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear you say you're sorry. Violet warned me, but I was too damn stubborn to listen. She told me that you were
looking
for a reason to run away from me. Taylor, you’re so fucking restless that you can’t settle in any place long enough to make friends, let alone try for a relationship. I’m sorry I tried to make you.”

I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I couldn’t. His words were like physical punches. Each one hurt a little worse and I couldn’t fight back because it was all my fault. I had caused all his pain.

“I love you." My gaze snapped back up to his. "I didn’t know if I would ever be able to tell you because you're so damn scared, but I have loved you for so fucking long. You need to get that through your head. But you’re so damn broken that you’ll never be able to love me back, so it doesn’t fucking matter anyway.”

I watched in shock as he threw the crystal vase sitting on our kitchen island into the wall. It was like everything was happening in slow motion. The crash of glass and the tears rolling down my face as I took in every hurtful word. Everything he hurled at me, I deserved though. What he didn’t get was that I loved him too. He was right, I am broken. When he was there with me, I was willing to try to face my past. For him.