Restless (Relentless Series Book 2) (7 page)

I walked into the small café to get lunch the afternoon after my fight with Stephen and Rhys stood at the counter waiting for his food. It was hard not to turn around and walk back out, but I sucked it up and went over to him. He always seemed to catch me when I embarrassed the hell out of myself.

I cleared my throat. “Hey.”

He looked up and a smile covered his handsome face. Rhys really was devastatingly gorgeous. It's too bad he wasn't the guy I wanted. “Hey yourself. How are you feeling today?”

“Like shit." I sighed. "Every fight I have with Stephen ends up that way though.”

He grabbed the bag the cashier handed out to him and turned towards me. “Want to have lunch?”

“Sure, just let me order and I’ll be right there.”

I took the time for them to make my sandwich to collect myself. If nothing else, I needed to prove I wasn’t such an idiot to Rhys. The poor guy was probably terrified that I was some crazy person. I'm sure I was crossing the crazy hot scale in bad places.

“So you probably think I’m some kind of stalker, don’t you?” he asked as I approached the table.

“No, but do I need to rethink my stance on that?” I asked chuckling.

“Purely coincidental, but I am happy I get to see you again.”

He stared at me for a minute and I gave in first and broke eye contact. “Why’s that? So I can cry on your shoulder a third time? I promise I’m not such a weakling normally; I’m just going through some stuff.”

“I don’t think you’re weak. Believe me, I understand running from the one person you want to be with the most.”

“You think I’m running?”

“Darlin', I knew it the first time I laid eyes on you in Vegas.” I leaned back in my chair and looked at him. “You learn to recognize it. Everything about you screamed it,” he said answering my unasked question.

I played with my straw for a second trying to work through what he’d just said.

“So why didn’t you try to sleep with me that first night?”

“You need some guy trying to take advantage of you and I’m not that kind of guy.” He shrugged. “I guess I’m old fashioned.”

“Rhys, I’m happy it was your bar I went into.”

“Me too,” he said smiling. He held up his cup in cheers. “To new beginnings.”

“To new beginnings,” I echoed.

We took our time eating lunch, catching up on the past few months and learning more about each other. Rhys really would be a good friend. There was still chemistry between us when he touched me, but nothing compared to what I felt for Stephen. My guilt ramped up, but I pushed it back down. 

It was time for me to start picking up the pieces. Not that I knew what to expect when I came back to California, but this wasn’t what I wanted. Maybe Rhys could be a great friend and in the distant future he could become more. If Stephen didn't want me, there were other people who did. I couldn't think that far down the line though, right now all I could do was take things day by day.

The smoky bar was full tonight. Rhys invited me, Violet and all of our friends to come hang out. Everyone was slowly warming up to him, and I appreciated it. Gage and Scott joined us and even though Violet called Stephen, we didn’t expect him to show up.

“One song, Taylor.”

I sighed and looked over at Rhys. “No, absolutely not.”

Violet narrowed her eyes at me. “Jax and I are actually out of the house. Alice has all of her grandkids. You owe me at least one. I know you don’t like performing in front of your friends, but you keep saying you want to push yourself.”

Jax smirked from across the table and I wanted to smack my brother-in-law. He could have helped me reign in my sister, instead he sat back to enjoy the show. Gage, Connor and Sophia all nodded agreement with Violet.

“What the hell? Why is everyone ganging up on me?” I pouted.

“I’ll even let you choose the song, and I’ll go on stage with you.” Rhys pushed. “You know you want to.”

I did.

Kind of.

It was fun to show everyone my somewhat hidden talent, but sometimes I wondered if I should have kept it a secret. When I sang my soul felt free, and the release was something I needed every once in a while. With Rhys around I spent more and more time on stage. My stomach knotted up, and I hesitated for a second before I agreed. The nerves were worse tonight.

“Fine, but I pick the song and you buy drinks for the rest of the night.”

Rhys grinned and tugged me towards the front of the bar. His excitement was contagious, and I smiled as we waited. I knocked back a shot of tequila and settled next to him on the small raised stage. He started the song I had chosen, which was a duet by Thomas Rhett and Jordin Sparks. My husky voice filled the bar, and I closed my eyes as I sang. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I let the song consume me. I played with fire every time I looked at Stephen. This song explained everything for me. Rhys reached out and squeezed my hand in his.

Stephen hadn’t spoken to me in almost two weeks and each day made the loss more pronounced. As we finished, Rhys lifted me up in a huge hug and kissed my cheek. The words hit too close to home, and I had to work to keep myself from falling apart.  I tried to hold back my sob and failed. My tears soaked his button-down shirt as I tried to gather myself.

I glanced out at our table of friends and they were politely clapping, but something made them all tense. Violet looked upset, Gage and Scott seemed concerned, but Jax was pissed. None of them noticed my red eyes, or if they did, they were too polite to say anything. I made my way to the table, and as I approached Jaxon grabbed my arm, tugging me in the opposite direction. Surely the innocent kiss that Rhys gave me hadn’t caused all this. He was just trying to make me feel better.

“I normally try to stay out of your business, Taylor, but I can’t stand by and let you hurt Stephen any more than you already have. You’re fucking with his head. Decide if you want to be with him or not, quit stringing him along. You either love him or you don’t. Figure your shit out.”

“What the fuck are you talking about Jaxon?”

“He showed up, listened to you sing, and then watched from the side as Rhys kissed you.”

My throat tightened. “He was here?”

“He
was.
Was being the keyword in that sentence. He left as soon as you finished. You’ve got to fix this because I can’t watch Vi agonize between being loyal to her sister or her best friend.”

I stared at his retreating form. Did Jax not realize that I was crying on stage in front of all these people because I missed Stephen so much? Fuck, I didn't even realize he was here and that killed me. Stephen didn't understand that I was singing to him, but he should have. I've never wanted someone so much that it physically hurt me to be away from them.

Rhys was a friend and nothing more, but Stephen didn’t know that and he wouldn’t stick around long enough for me to explain. I was sick of everyone blaming me for all of our problems. My fists clenched at my sides and I marched over to the bar.

“Whiskey, please and lots of it.”

My body felt heavy and everything sounded like it was underwater. Gage said something, but I couldn’t focus. I squinted my eyes, and he chuckled.

“You’re completely schnockered, aren’t you?” I nodded miserably. He looped my arms around his neck and picked me up. My head rested on his chest and I tried to hold back the tears. “Oh hell, are you crying?”

“N—No,” I sniffled.

“Let’s get you home first. Then you can cry all over me.”

“I don’t have a home,” I slurred. “Stephen kicked me out and Jax is pissed at me.”

His chest bounced as he chuckled and I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck. He grabbed my purse off the bar next to me and made his way out to the parking lot. I didn’t want to get into his car in case I threw up, but he dropped me into the seat and buckled me in anyway. The drive back to his apartment was quick. Before I knew it I was settled onto his couch with a glass of water in my hand.

I really was wrecked. Gage was fucking awesome for taking care of me. My drunk ass didn’t deserve his kindness, but I would sure take advantage while he offered it up.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you doing this for me?”

“You helped me out after I broke up with Arianna.” He shrugged and looked away.

“I think there’s more to it than that, but I’m too drunk to figure it out.”

Gage leaned back into the cushions of the couch and pulled me into his side. He turned SportsCenter on and we listened as the announcers talked about spring training. My eyes started to droop, and he took the glass of water out of my hands, placing it on the coffee table.

“I know how you feel kid. Sometimes we make the wrong decisions when the correct ones are right in front of us.”

My eyes stayed closed. “Does it ever quit hurting?”

He tensed and waited a beat before answering. “Maybe eventually. Just don’t let him get away forever, kid. You’re lucky enough that you have two men willing to fight for you, but that won’t always be the case. Choose wisely.”

“Stephen’s not fighting for me,” I mumbled. “He hates me.”

“He showed up tonight. He’s fighting, even if you don’t get it yet.”

When I woke up my head ached, and I was so nauseous that if I moved I might throw up. Gage moved me from the couch to his bed during the night. There were two aspirin and a glass of water on the nightstand next to me. All things considered, I was in a much better place than what I deserved.

Slowly, I sat up and took the medicine he had left for me. My gaze fell to the large t-shirt I had on and I blanched. I pulled back the covers and tried not to freak out when the only other thing I had on was a pair of black panties. Even my bra was gone. This wasn't what I had been wearing the night before. Holy fuck, had I slept with Gage? The last thing I needed was to add another guy to my drama.

Before I could panic the guy in question walked back into his room with only a towel wrapped around his waist. His muscled chest was impressive, a woman would have to be dead not to appreciate it, but I didn’t need that particular mess.

“Hey, kid. How are you feeling this morning?”

“Confused," I said rubbing my head.

He chuckled. “Why are you confused?”

“I woke up in your bed, dressed like this.” I indicated my lack of clothing. “And you come back in the room dressed like that. What the hell happened last night?”

He laughed harder, and I frowned at him. He grabbed a pair of jeans out of the dresser and dropped the towel. I yelped and covered my eyes.

“Gage! Holy shit!”

“What do you think happened, kid?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking.”

“You threw up all over your clothes, so I changed you and put you to bed.” I stared at him. “If you don’t believe me you can go ask my maid. She’s the one washing everything this morning.”

“Oh god.” I covered my face and turned crimson. “I’m so sorry, Gage.”

“We’ve all been there. I rescued you before you did anything stupid at the bar. I’m sure things would have ended differently if your
friend
Rhys took you home.”

I groaned. “How bad was I last night?”

“Not horrible, but after Stephen left you drank so much whiskey that an Irishman would be proud. You were quiet, and that’s what made it scary. I'm not used to quiet Taylor.”

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

“No problem. Just a word of caution though, your buddy Rhys wants more. He’s not going to be happy with just being friends.”

He was right, but I didn’t want to admit it, even to myself. There was no way I could think about a relationship, but Rhys sat back patiently waiting for the time I would be ready. He wasn’t a bad guy, in fact he’s great, but my heart hurt and it would take some time for it to heal. Gage gave me a knowing look.

“This goes back to what you told me last night doesn’t it?”

“You remember that?” His infuriating grin was back.

“You told me Stephen was fighting for me even if I didn’t realize it yet. I need to start moving on, it’s been three months since this nightmare began, Gage. I can’t figure out how to keep going through this over and over again.”

“Have you actually sat down and had a conversation with Stephen?”

“No, he’s avoiding me. The last time I went to the house, things were said. Sex was had. Vases were broken. Conversations avoided. I don’t really want a repeat.” I shuddered as I remembered the harsh words from our first encounter.

“Okay, I’m not supposed to say anything, but you guys need a push in the right direction. He misses you hardcore, like cry in his beer at night misses you. And you admitted you aren’t over him and you want to be with him. What in the hell is holding you back?”

“He told me I was looking for a reason to run away from him.” That was the least hurtful of what he had said, but Gage didn't need to know any details of the shit Stephen had said.

“You were.”

“No, I—” I trailed off. Fuck, I had been looking for a reason to leave. When I found that stupid, beautiful ring, it gave me the excuse I needed. “I don’t know how to be in a relationship. For the past eight years I’ve been all over the world, never staying in one place long enough to get attached.”

“Have you figured out what you’re running from yet?”

I shook my head. “I need to talk to Violet.”

Gage threw a pair of basketball shorts my way. “Get dressed and I’ll take you home.”

Gage and I walked into the house. With one look at me, Jaxon went to find Violet. Sometimes my brother-in-law wasn’t such a bad guy. My head ached and my heart hurt. I appreciated that Gage had taken such good care of me. Somehow I would have to pay him back. 

“Taylor, what’s wrong?” Vi asked as she came rushing in. To my horror, tears pricked at my eyes.

“I need you,” I whispered.

We walked to my room, her frame supporting me the whole way because I wasn’t sure I could make it on my own. The weight of every bad decision I had made since the night I found that beautiful, stupid ring was on my shoulders.

"I’m so lost." Tears streamed down my face unchecked. "I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m scared, and hurt, and mad, and confused all at the same time and I can’t handle it. Stephen is everything to me, but all I do is hurt him.”

“What about Rhys?”

“What about him? He’s never been more than a friend. There’s something there, but it doesn’t even compare to what I have with Stephen. Rhys realizes that and he isn't pushing for more.”

“What do you want?”

“To not be terrified of wanting more. To be able to stay in one place without feeling like my skin is crawling.”

“You’ve been here a year and a half, Tay. And I’ve never heard you say anything about moving.”

I pulled the pillow onto my lap and hugged it to my stomach. “Why can’t I just grow up? Just because everyone else fucks up their relationships doesn’t mean I’m going to. Right?”

"You see the absolute worst case scenarios and expect the same to happen to you. Mom and Dad were horrible for each other. Mom is the fucking devil." She sighed. "Aaron and I were toxic from the beginning, but I felt pressured to marry him. It honestly surprised me it didn’t blow up in my face sooner. And Emmy and Mason have their own issues. I think its Mason more than Em, but you can’t use them as an example. Look at me and Jax though, we’ve been married almost two years now and I’ve never been happier. He loves me and I love him. We made Harp together.”