Restless (Relentless Series Book 2) (6 page)

His mouth clasped down on one nipple, biting and teasing the tip expertly. His right hand squeezed and pinched my other breast. My fingers trailed down his body and rubbed him through his boxers. A smiled curved my lips as his hips thrust into my hand.

"Taylor," Stephen groaned. "You're trying to kill me." I smirked, and he smacked my ass again. "Don't make me really punish you."

"Promises, promises," I taunted. Before I could move, he flipped us over again. My squeal had him chuckling softly.

"Still think you have the upper hand, baby?"

I ground my hips into his hardness. "Shut up and fuck me." The sound of ripping fabric filled my ears and suddenly I was incredibly naked. Not that my little thong was much coverage, but it was completely gone. "You really have to quit ruining my panties. Those fuckers are expensive."

His lips captured mine, and I forgot all about scolding him. My toes dug into the back of his boxers and tugged them down around his knees. He grinned against my mouth and I ran my fingers through his hair, pulling lightly on the ends. Stephen leaned back and his smile was breathtaking. I sucked in a breath as the emotions tumbled around inside me.

Stephen's large hand cupped the side of my face. "Baby, are you okay?"

I bit my lip and nodded. His lips brushed over my cheeks and eyelids. My breath caught in my throat as he pushed inside me. Our moans were in unison as he pulled out and pushed back in. This was all too much. I couldn't do this.

I pushed at Stephen's chest and he leaned back. My heels dug into his ass as he did, sliding into a different position.

"There. Right there," I gasped.

He interlocked our fingers and rested them on my open thighs. His thumb rubbed small circles on my clit as he thrust. My eyes caught Stephen's and it felt even more intimate. I was terrified he could see everything I tried to keep hidden inside me. I cried out as my orgasm built. My body shattered around him, and a few seconds later Stephen collapsed against me, careful not to crush me as his own release followed.

"That was intense," he whispered into my hair.

I nodded as I tried to catch my breath. If he only knew. 

The sun flooding in through the open window woke me early. It occurred to me now that we should've closed the blinds before going to sleep. I tried to keep from moving so I didn't wake Stephen. He was such a light sleeper, and I needed to assess how I felt before he woke up. The light of day made me realize that sleeping with him might not have been the best idea. We still hadn't figured anything out between us and last night had been more intimate than I planned. He stretched behind me and his arm wrapped tighter around me.

"Good morning, baby."

Too late.

"Hi," I whispered.

He leaned up and nuzzled my ear. "How are you this beautiful morning?"

How
was
I feeling? I wanted more time to figure it out, but now that option was gone.

"I think I'm okay?" It came out as more of a question than a statement.

I glanced over my shoulder and a frown covered his handsome face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, really."

"I'm happy you're here with me." I gave him a small smile. "Okay, you're making me nervous. Can you please tell me what's wrong, baby?"

"This is uncharted territory. Last time I was here, and we did this," I gestured between us. "It didn't turn out so great. I'm just nervous, I guess."

"I regret how I treated you. I thought you understood that."

"I do, but it doesn't change the fact that we still haven't actually talked about anything yet."

Stephen climbed out of bed. "I'm going to go make breakfast."

"Okay," I said quietly. He pulled up his boxers and went into the bathroom.

The last thing I wanted was to hurt Stephen, but I couldn't just jump back into something unresolved. Just because we slept together didn't mean we were back together. I ran my hand down my face and pulled the pillow over my head. Why did I always have to make things so fucking awkward?

I got dressed and went into the kitchen. Stephen wore a pair of low slung pajama pants. Not many people knew he loved to cook. He made me pancakes at least once a week when we were living together, so when I walked in and he was pouring the batter, my heart pounded in my chest. Every day he didn't have to rush off somewhere for work, we sat out on the deck cuddling and eating. I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to ward off the memories of him feeding me small bites as I leaned back into his chest.

"Pancakes?"

"That sounds great." Hopefully I could hide how much this was killing me inside.

"Okay, so you want to talk."

"That was the whole point of going to dinner."

"Taylor, I get that one night together won't fix everything, but we need to start somewhere. What do you want?"

I paused. Did I really even know the answer to that? "I'm not sure, but I miss you and I miss us."

"We can't really figure anything out until you decide what you want."

"What do you want?" I fired back at him.

"You. Plain and simple. It's what I've always wanted. Yes, we need to talk about why you left, but my feelings for you have never changed."

I stared at his back while he flipped the last two pancakes off the griddle and onto the waiting plate. We sat down in our small kitchen nook to eat. Breakfast was painful. The silence between us was weighted, and I didn't know what to say to him. Apparently I didn't have the answers he desperately craved.

When we finished I kissed his forehead. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Pancakes are my specialty."

"That's not what I meant."

"I'm trying to give you an out here, Taylor."

"I don't want an out; I just want time to figure out what I want. You are amazing and I don't deserve you."

"Why do I feel like you're saying goodbye?"

"I'm not, well I am because I'm going back to Vi's, but I'm not saying goodbye in that way."

He sighed. "I knew you were trouble."

"I tried to warn you," I said softly.

After that very awkward breakfast, all I wanted was a hot shower and a massive amount of coffee. Stephen drove me to go get my car. The silence between us was deafening. I didn’t understand why things were so off. Even worse, I had no idea how to fix it.

The door slammed behind me as I walked into the kitchen at Violet's and I winced.

“Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in,” Jax said over his coffee cup. He leaned back against the counter and smirked.

Fuck.

Why was Jax always catching me in the most embarrassing situations?
I narrowed my mascara smeared eyes at him. At least I didn't have on the same dress from last night. “Aren’t you Australian? Why do you know American euphemisms?”

“I’m not a fucking idiot, Taylor.”

“Could've fooled me,” I mumbled.

“Language,” Violet said from across the table.

“Sorry, Harper,” Jaxon said laughing. “You’re getting home awfully early, or is it late?”

“Fuck off, Jax.”

“Language,” Vi said again.

I glanced over to where she had Harper. She was trying to shovel in baby food, but Harp was blowing raspberries at her. Better her than me, I’d rather not end up covered in banana or whatever nasty concoction she had.

“So how’s Stephen this morning?” Jax asked in a singsong voice.

“Leave her alone or I’m cutting you off." Vi glared at Jax. "I mean it, no sex for a month.”

“Fine. You guys don’t want me to have any fun do you?”

“Just go surf, you big idiot,” Violet said to him while she smiled at Harper. She looked up at me. “Want to talk about it?”

“Nope.”

“Okay, fine. When you want to learn how to work through being a fucking pussy, come find me.”

“Language!” Jax and I said in unison. We glanced at each other and started cracking up. My family might annoy the hell out of me, but they really were perfect.

The drink stopped halfway to my lips as I heard the familiar voice behind me. I glanced over my shoulder at the stage across the bar and my jaw dropped open as I saw who was singing. Rhys looked amazing as ever standing there strumming his guitar.  I stood up and made my way across the crowded room without a word to any of my friends. They all shot each other confused looks, but no one stopped me. When Rhys looked up, his voice faltered for a second. Clearly he hadn’t expected me to be standing in front of him right now.

At least I knew he hadn’t followed me here. I hadn’t seen him since the night in Vegas and I never thought I would again. Finding his number in my phone a few days later surprised me, but I didn’t delete the number. The spark had been too strong for me to ignore, so it had stayed. Rhys finished his song and jumped off the stage. He wrapped me up in a huge bear hug and I smiled into his shoulder.

“What? You had to come to the one bar I live at in Cali?”

“That was the biggest surprise ever to look down and see you in front of me, but you are a sight for sore eyes. How have you been, Taylor? You made it back to the one place you said you would never return to.”

“Don’t rub it in. I wish I hadn’t come.”

“Why?”

“Asking for forgiveness isn’t easy.”

“So it has to do with the guy staring daggers at me? Is he the ex?”

I sighed. “His name is Stephen, but he doesn’t want me back.”

“I’m not so sure about that darlin’.”

“I am. He told me he didn’t, but I think it was because he was upset. Now he keeps saying he does. That man is all over the place.”

“Just because a man says something doesn’t mean we actually mean it.”

I paused looking up into his electric blue eyes. He was even more handsome than I remembered. Granted I had a lot of alcohol that night, so that might have something to do with my faulty memory. Before we moved further into the bar, ‘I Feel A Sin Comin’ On’ came on, and he pushed me towards the stage. He watched me from below and smiled encouragingly. Hesitantly, I took the mike in my hands and started singing. Closing my eyes, I got into the song and forgot who was watching or listening. I sang to Rhys because he was the only one who knew this part of me.

Looking up as I finished, I realized the entire bar was screaming and whistling in appreciation. My face turned crimson. Rhys reached up and placed his hands on my hips, lifting me off the stage. When my feet hit the floor, I threw myself into his arms and gave him a huge hug.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to my friends. And the asshole staring daggers at you.”

He laughed and followed me over to the table where I had left everyone sitting. His fingers loosely intertwined with mine as we walked. Seeing the shock on Stephen’s face was almost worth getting up in front of the entire bar to sing. Before anyone could talk about my performance, I introduced Rhys so they hopefully wouldn’t bring it up.

"Guys this is my friend, Rhys Brooks. Rhys, this is my sister, Violet, and her husband, Jax. This is Gage, Scott and Stephen.” I glanced around. "Where's Amanda?"

"She left ten minutes ago. Her flight out was tonight," Violet answered.

He held his hand out to Vi, then Jax. “It’s nice to meet you guys. Taylor, you never told me your sister was a movie star,” Rhys teased.

“You never asked. I see it as more of a hindrance than help most days.”

Everyone laughed because we had this argument at least once a month. I hated being limited to certain places when we went out, and that was if we even got to go out at all. For the first few months after my niece was born, we couldn’t go anywhere without paparazzi following us. Tonight we all made the sacrifice to get out of the house and actually spend some time together.

“I’m happy you finally let someone else hear you other than the shower tiles, Taylor,” Violet said.

“You’ve heard me sing?” I swung around to face her and she tried not to laugh at my shocked expression.

“Yeah, but only a few times. I thought you were shy, but now, I’m not so sure that’s the case.”

She pinned me with a sharp look, and I looked away. This wasn’t the time for this conversation. Stephen looked between me, Violet and Rhys, saying nothing.

“You should sing more often, Tay. I loved it,” Gage said. I blushed and tried to change the subject, but my sister beat me to it.

“So how did you guys meet?” Violet asked.

“She wandered into my bar in Vegas and sang her little heart out,” Rhys said easily. Thank goodness he brushed over the embarrassing parts from that evening.

“There might or might not have been a lot of whiskey involved before I climbed up on the stage though.”

“She was even more amazing that night. Lost inhibitions and all that junk.”

“I’m sure there were lost inhibitions,” Stephen muttered under his breath.

“Excuse me?” I asked him, an edge lining my voice.

“Nothing. I’m leaving,” he said, throwing a wad of bills down. He pushed back from the table and left without saying another word.

Oh, hell no.

I pushed my way through the crowded bar as I followed him out into the parking lot. This wouldn't be pretty, and I could tell he wanted a fight. He had wanted to say more the other day, but he’d held back and now he was just aching to say everything he'd held back.

“You want to do this, let’s do it. Stephen, you can’t get pissed off at me because someone I haven’t seen in over two months shows up and I talk to him. I didn't think I would ever see him again.”

“You fucked him when you left me, didn’t you?”

“What?” My eyes widened, and I lifted a single eyebrow at him.

“You heard me," he snapped.

“No, I didn’t fuck him, but that tells me exactly what you think of me. I wanted to get over you, but I couldn’t. If it would have been as simple as sleeping with someone else, I would have fucking done it! I would have fucked the whole damn state of California if it would have helped me.”

"That's typical; just blow it off like my opinion doesn't matter. You're so fucking terrified of opening up you can't even take me seriously."

I glared at him and crossed my arms over my chest. "When there's something for me to take seriously, I will. Right now you’re being a jealous asshole."

I turned on my heel and started back towards the bar. “You don’t get it, Taylor. You fled the fucking state at the first sign of something more serious than just fucking instead of talking about it. You’re so reckless. So can you really blame me for not wanting to get hurt again?”

“You knew that going into this, Stephen. I warned you! I told you that I was terrified of actually having feelings for you. I never hid the fact that being in a relationship terrified me. Then after I came back I admitted that I loved you too, but it doesn't fucking matter. What more do you want from me?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want. I’ve never seen you stay in one place for more than six months since you graduated high school. Honestly, I don’t think you’re capable of it. Just like you’re not capable of loving anyone other than yourself.”

His words cut deep. How many more times were we going to do this? Always one step forward and two steps back.

His retreating footsteps sounded on the asphalt as I bent over trying to catch my breath. Who knows how long I stayed like that. Someone took my arm and tried to stand me up, but the tears clouding my eyes made it impossible to see who was helping me. Strong arms wrapped around me and I was pressed into a muscled chest. Rhys’ cologne filled my senses and I knew he was there picking up the pieces for me again.

“Come on, darlin’. Let’s go inside. You can't stay out here.”

"Why not? There's no point in going back in there tonight."

"Don't let him win, Taylor. Be the bigger person and go in there and have fun."

I dropped my head against his shoulder. "I won't have a good night, but I'll go back in there."

"Good girl. Let's go."

I had been staring at my laptop for a few minutes trying to get some work done. It was difficult to concentrate. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was awful, and I had a hard time focusing on anything. My phone rang and Emmy’s name flashed across the screen. It surprised me she waited this long to call. I slid my finger to answer, bracing myself for her lecture.

“Hey, Em.”

“Don’t ‘hey Em’ me.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner. I’ve been busy.”

"I'm sure you have been," she said dryly. "Did you talk to him?”

“Who?” I loved baiting her. It was so easy and really amusing.

“Damn it! Did you talk to the hot guy you ran away from like a chicken?”

“Which one, Stephen or Rhys?”

“Excuse me? Did you just say Rhys?”

“Yep,” I said, popping the P at the end. “He showed up the other night. Turns out he invests in bars. He bought the one we frequent.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah. So again I say which one?"

“Stephen, you know I mean Stephen. Quit being so damn obtuse.”

I groaned. “I did. Three times. Don’t ask.”

“So what’s your plan?”

“I’m going to do what I do best. Act like nothing fucking matters and pretend that it’s not eating me up inside. And never fall in love again. It’s one night stands and fuck buddies from here on out.”

“Taylor, please don’t do this. You’re going to regret it. Go talk to Stephen again.”

“Emmy, I watched him shatter a glass vase against a wall and it might as well have been my heart. I can’t ever do this again. We went out on a date and I ended up sleeping with him again. All that is between us is really hot sex. It's not worth hurting myself over and over again.”

The silence between us was weighted. Emmy understood the pain of being rejected, but she didn’t get that I brought all this on myself. I pushed Stephen away until he didn’t have a choice and when I panicked and changed my mind it was too late. We might have been able to work things out, but now Rhys was here and everything was imploding around me.

“Oh, honey. Do you want me to get you a flight out here?”

“No. I’m going to stay. Violet needs me, she’s got classes, and she's talking about starting another movie. I promised I would watch Harper for her.”

"I'm proud of you."

I didn't answer. There was nothing more to say.

“Do you still want to be with him?”

I sighed. “It doesn’t matter if I do or not, Em.”

“It does,” she insisted. I knew she believed that, but in my opinion she was wrong.

“Yes," I sighed. "He’s the love of my life."

"Hon. Everything's going to be okay. He'll come around."

We hung up quickly after that. She had a meeting, and I didn't want to talk about my failures anymore. The numbness and emptiness still lurked in the back of my mind, but admitting to Emmy that I loved Stephen hurt. I couldn’t decide if the apathy or the pain was better. All I could do was live minute by minute and hope that something, anything, made me feel again.