Reverie (Hollow Hearts Book 1) (16 page)

Hetty looked around the dismal room. It hadn’t changed much since she’d left the orphanage to work for Mrs. Calhoun. This hadn’t been her room while she was here, but vivid memories of scrubbing the floor and washing the linens plagued her mind. The glass in the window was so old and dirty it barely let in any light.
Not that there’s much to see,
Hetty thought. Her room at the ranch had embraced her in a sense of coziness. This room just made her feel alone. The linens on the small bed were nearly thread-bare, and she imagined the orphanage had little money to replace them. Perhaps she could use a bit of her money to purchase an extra blanket to ward off the chill so prevalent within the walls of the room. Hetty turned when she heard a small knock on the door.

“Come in.”

“Hetty, are you getting settled?” Catherine, the orphanage mistress, asked.

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.”

“I’m sure you’re used to much better accommodations after working for Mrs. Calhoun, but this is the best we can offer.”

“Catherine, it’s fine, really.” Hetty tried to smile. “I’ll be just fine here.”

“At least it’s quieter than the dormitory upstairs where you used to sleep. And this door does have a lock at least. You know we’ve always had issues with theft here.”

“I remember. I’ll be sure to keep extra watch for any such behavior.”

“Well, I’ll let you finish getting settled. Please remember that breakfast is at 7:30 sharp. I expect you to eat in the kitchen beforehand so you’ll be ready to start on the dishes as the children finish,” Catherine said. “Welcome back, Hetty.” Catherine closed the door behind her.

Hetty tried to wipe away the tears stinging her cheeks, but it was no use. This was her life now. Starting tomorrow morning, Thanksgiving Day no less, she’d start spending her days scrubbing the floors, washing the dishes, and handling the laundry. Her bones ached just thinking about washing clothes for nearly 25 children. And the mending. All the rips and holes she’d have to repair in the already worn clothing nearly made her fingers bleed just thinking about it. At least when she lived here before she’d managed to take a bit of extra time repairing the clothes the children wore, hoping the extra effort on a hem or a tear would help the younger children feel good in their hand-me-down threads. And she knew some of the older girls would be assisting her in handling the chores, but their attention needed to be focused on school and studying. Most of them wouldn’t go on to a university, but she’d seen a few girls take their teaching exam and move on to other small towns looking for someone to run their schools.

Not wanting to relive too much of her past, Hetty promised herself she’d make this work. Taking care of the Wheeler family had been wonderful, but it was time for things to get back to normal. No more drama. No more silly emotions. She would work and save and pray that, in a few years, she’d be back on track to buying her own home—a place she’d never have to leave.

Elias marched along side his horse, Silver, anxious to make it home. He could feel the temperature dropping, snow likely on the way. The bare branches crackled in the wind, and the sky appeared to deepen into a dark gray hue at a rapid pace. He was tired. Silver was tired, too.
Only a few more miles
, he thought,
only a little further and I’ll be home
. He hadn’t expected to be gone this long. No doubt his family was worried. And his sweet Lottie? He missed her terribly. Traveling to see Rachel’s parents had given him ample opportunity to think. He’d gone over and over the situation in his head. Yes, he was angry Isaac had lied. But it wasn’t entirely Isaac’s fault. He’d tried to protect him from learning what Rachel truly was. Unfaithful. There were secrets of his own he held about Rachel and, while visiting her parents, he’d finally come clean. He needed to clear the air, to heal his own wounds, and move on. It was time.

He needed to fix things with his brother. That was his priority now. Isaac had always supported the wants and needs of Elias. When their father died Isaac signed his half of the ranch over to Elias without any compensation. He knew the ranch was Elias’s passion and never wanted finances to hinder his goals. He tried to purchase Isaac’s share, but he wouldn’t hear of it.
This is your ranch
, he’d said,
you deserve to own every inch of it
. It was time to return the favor. If being with Hetty was what Isaac wanted, then Elias would give his blessing. His brother deserved the same chance at family as he’d imagined with Rachel. This time, though, he was sure Isaac knew exactly what he was getting. With new determination Elias mounted Silver and pushed on, covering those last few miles at a quick pace.

When he reached the ranch house he went straight to the barn and settled Silver in his stall. He removed the harness and saddle and quickly brushed down the horse.
You deserve a good rest, boy
, Elias said inside, patting the horse in his favorite spot behind the ears. Checking that his food and water were sufficient, Elias took his bag and headed for the front door.

He took a deep breath before turning the knob and entering the warmth of the front room. His mother and Lottie were snuggled on the floor next to the fire and Isaac sat close by listening to them read. They hadn’t heard him come in.

“Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.” Elias said.

Each face in the room turned to look at him. Smiles crept out on each of their faces.

“Daddy!” Lottie ran toward him and jumped straight into his arms. With all of her strength she hugged his neck. “You’re home!”

“Yes, baby girl, I’m home,” Elias said, returning her hug with the strength of his own.

Elizabeth rose from the floor and walked toward her son, relief shining from her eyes. “Oh, my boy! I was so worried. Thank you, Lord, for bringing my Elias home!”

Elias smiled at his mother, took one of his arms from around Lottie, and pulled Elizabeth in for her own hug. “I’m just fine, mother.”

After several moments Elias looked up to see Isaac watching the tender reunion. There was no anger in his eyes, no frustration. Just genuine relief. He set Lottie down and moved toward his brother. His hands felt clammy so he wiped them across the top of his pants. “Hello, brother,” he said softly.

Isaac didn’t hesitate. He smiled, reached for Elias’s shirt, and pulled him into a hug. “Welcome home.”

Yes. Indeed he was.

They all gathered around the fire, Lottie asleep in her father’s arms. Elizabeth had fed Elias as soon as the hugs had ended. Oh, how he’d missed her cooking. Full and satisfied on her fried chicken and apple cobbler, Elias began to recount to his family where he’d been the past two weeks.

He admitted he’d left the ranch out of anger, needing a break and some time to think about everything that Isaac had admitted to him about Rachel. He’d gone to visit Rachel’s parents, who lived in a town roughly thirty miles away. They’d moved just after Rachel’s death, claiming the need for a fresh start away from the harsh memories of losing their daughter. He hadn’t spoken to them in years, especially after their claim that Lottie was too much of a reminder of Rachel and it would be too difficult to be in contact with her. He’d honored their wishes and only sent them a letter once a year around the holidays. They never responded, but he did it out of respect. Imagine their surprise when he showed up on their doorstep, cold and demanding answers.

“They invited me in despite their shock at seeing me. Of course they asked about Lottie, admitting they did miss watching her grow up. I told them they were welcome to come see her anytime. But they’re getting older. It isn’t easy for them to travel. Marcus hasn’t even worked since he sold the ranch. I’m pretty sure he spends most of his time playing checkers with the other old men in town. It took a couple days before I finally got the answers I needed.” Elias hesitated before continuing his story, knowing what he was about to tell his family would come as quite the surprise.

“I suspected something was off when Rachel insisted we marry so quickly. Yes, I wanted to marry her. In fact, I’d wanted to marry her since we were children and I used to chase her around the schoolyard. But I thought we’d have a long engagement. I wanted more time to get the ranch where we wanted it to be, save a little money. I even planned to build a small cabin farther back on the property so we could have a place of our own after we were married. But she didn’t want to wait. When she told me she was with child, we married a week later. And I don’t regret that.” Elias paused. He looked down at his hands. “But the baby wasn’t mine.”

Isaac and his mother looked at one another, their eyes wide with unexpected confusion. Lottie wasn’t his daughter? Rachel tricked him into marrying her?

“I can’t...I just can’t believe it. Elias, you’ve always told us you two, um...”

“Yes, mother. I did tell you that. But the truth is I was a virgin when I married Rachel. She’d met a soldier in town and well, when she told me she was pregnant, I wanted nothing more than to help her. So, knowing the baby wasn’t mine, I wanted to make her an honest woman. We made up a lie and had the preacher marry us a week later. Her parents didn’t know the truth. They didn’t know she’d been unfaithful to me while we were courting, but encouraged her to go ahead and marry me when they found out she was pregnant to avoid any kind of scandal. The soldier, whoever he was, left, of course. I’m sure the man had no idea Rachel got pregnant from their very brief affair. I needed to find out if they knew the truth. I needed to know if they were aware of what Rachel did before we were married. I needed them to know the truth. I tried to deny things about Rachel, but I think deep down I knew all along that marriage and a baby wouldn’t make her settle down. ”

“Elias, I’m so sorry. I had no idea,” Isaac said.

Elias shook his head and ran his fingers through Lottie’s hair. “I just need to make one thing clear. This little girl,” he motioned to Lottie, “is my daughter in every sense of the word. Blood relation or not, I love her as if she were my own. And I don’t ever want anyone to doubt that.” He looked down at his sweet girl, still asleep in his lap, and said a small prayer thanking the Lord for bringing Lottie into his life. It was an unconventional start, but he wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world.

“I just need you to know I’m tired of the lies. I’m done with the secrets. Rachel made poor choices—for herself, with me, and toward you,” he said motioning to Isaac. “We are not at fault for her bad decisions, and I guess when someone has a history of not being faithful it shouldn’t be too surprising when she tries to seduce your brother by a dead apple tree.” He had to chuckle because it did sound ridiculous when he said it out loud.

“So you forgive me?” Isaac asked.

“You’re my brother. Of course I forgive you. But can you forgive me for the cruel things I said to you?”

Isaac smiled at his brother. “It’s already forgiven.”

“Good! Now tell me exactly what happened with Hetty so we can fix it and get her back to this family where she belongs.”

Hetty walked toward the livery, each step making her more nervous. She needed to talk to Joshua. He’d sent his letter weeks ago. She’d seen him in town several times since then, but they’d never had the opportunity to talk. She couldn’t keep him waiting any longer.

She’d left the farm, taken on a new job, and things were finally returning to normal—all except the ache she felt in her heart each time she thought about Isaac. Oh, she missed him. She missed all of the Wheeler family. Not wanting to face any uncomfortable situations, she’d avoided the one church service over the last few weeks that hadn’t been canceled because of the snow. She’d heard around town that Elias had returned and she prayed daily that they were all healing and moving on. She wished them no ill will and hoped they were all doing well.

She saw Joshua working in one of the stalls, laying down fresh hay for one of the horses. He didn’t notice her enter.

“Excuse me, Joshua?”

“Hetty, it’s so nice to see you!” He set aside his pitchfork. “I’d give you a hug but I’m a bit dirty, I’m afraid. Come sit with me.” He motioned toward a bench near what she assumed was his office.

“Thank you.” Hetty sat down and straighten her grey wool dress. She folded her hands in her lap and looked up at her friend. “Joshua, I came by today to talk with you.”

“I hope it’s to make plans to have dinner with me and my parents. They’re anxious to meet you.” He smiled.

What a sweet smile
, Hetty thought.
I hate to hurt him
. “I’m sorry Joshua, but I cannot have dinner with your family.” She fought back tears.

“What are you trying to tell me, Hetty?” Joshua’s shoulders tensed.

“Joshua, I like you. But I’m afraid my feelings for you do not extend beyond friendship.”

He looked away. “Oh...I see. So you’re saying no to all of it?”

“Yes, Joshua. I cannot allow you to court me.”

He rose from the bench and let out a deep sigh. “I could make you happy, Hetty. I know I could.”

“I don’t doubt that, Joshua. You’re a wonderful man and we share many of the same dreams. But the truth is my heart is not mine to give away,” she said, fighting back tears. Here she was giving up a man who could give her everything she ever wanted because her heart belonged to a man she could never have.

“Isaac?” he asked softly. She nodded her head. “I can’t say that I’m not disappointed. I didn’t expect this, especially after our afternoon together.”

“I just wanted to be honest with you.”

“So are you and Isaac planning to marry?” he asked snidely, no doubt due to his hurt pride.

“Actually, no. I no longer work there. It doesn’t matter though, because Isaac and I...well, it just wouldn’t work. I just didn’t want to be dishonest with you, Joshua, because I do respect you.”

“I appreciate your honesty, Hetty, but I think you should leave.”

She rose from the bench and headed toward the door. She paused before heading out into the December cold. “I’m sorry, Joshua.”

“Me, too, Hetty. Me, too.”

As Hetty walked away she heard something slam against the wall behind her.