Rite of Rejection (Acceptance Book 1) (14 page)

“So who’s ready to get out of here?” Eric busts through the door and takes in our somber scene. “Did I miss something? What in the world happened to your face?”

“Never mind my face.” Elizabeth pushes up from the bunk and grabs Eric by the shoulders, a huge smile on her face. “Does that mean…?”

“It’s finished.”

I freeze in the middle of the room. For weeks, Eric and Daniel have taken turns working on the raft, tying the barrels together with Constance’s rope and smearing it with tar we found out by the edge of the PIT. I knew they were getting close, but finished? It doesn’t feel real.

Eric sits down and pats the bunk next to him. “I coated the last of the rope today. We need a few days to let it dry and then…”

“We leave.” I bounce down onto the saggy mattress next to him, my skin vibrating with all the emotions floating underneath.

“Only if we have everything ready.” Elizabeth shakes off a questioning look from Eric and sits with Molly on the bunk, giving her a tight hug. “We have a lot to get done before then. Becca, can you help Molly finish up the clothing?”

“Of course. Whatever you need me to do.” My arms twitch with the extra energy pulsing through me. Eric squeezes my hand.

“Eric and I can use my card to break into the food storehouse tomorrow night. We don’t know how many days we’ll be stuck on that raft and I don’t plan to starve to death out there.”

When I thought about the escape before, my biggest fear was always that we would get caught. But what if the hardest challenge is just surviving outside the fence?

Elizabeth walks over to Daniel. He hasn’t moved a muscle since Eric announced the big news. She touches his arm and they hug for the first time I’ve seen. My stomach twists. I want to look away, but I can’t stop staring at them. None of Eric’s tender touches ever expressed as much love as the hug between Elizabeth and Daniel. He pulls back and stares into Elizabeth’s face, his eyes alive with excitement. “All this time, planning and waiting. Are we really getting out of here?”

“As long as you have us all set up in the network.” Elizabeth punches his arm lightly. “Are you almost done?”

“Yeah, everything is set with our OneCards.” Daniel taps the screen of the Noteboard so he can show Elizabeth his progress. “I’ll activate the changes right before we leave so we don’t set off any alarms…” His sentence trails off into an uneasy silence and a frown mars his previously elated face.

“What is it?” Elizabeth grabs the Noteboard, but I doubt she has any idea how to use it.

“Someone else was in my file today.” The crease between his eyes deepens and then evens out as he gains control of his emotions. “It’s probably just a coincidence. I’m sure the Admin folks run periodic checks on the system.”

He takes the computer back from Elizabeth, but she doesn’t look relieved by his words.

“Are you sure? We can’t afford to take any chances. Do you think something you’ve done could have tipped someone off about what we’re doing?”

“No, we’re fine. I’m sorry I worried you.” Daniel pulls up another screen. “See, we’re all listed as normal. If the Cardinal’s guards thought we were up to something, do you really think we’d still be sitting here?”

Eric squeezes my hand a bit too tight for comfort. I’m not ashamed to admit Daniel’s words make me uncomfortable, too. Elizabeth nods her head and Daniel pulls up yet another screen.

“I finally got into the Assignment center. There are quite a few open positions in the MidSouth Territory, so we have plenty of options.”

Eric stretches his back, wincing a little when his right shoulder rotates. “After these past few weeks I can tell you one thing. I’m not suited for manual labor.”

“Gotcha,” Daniel says, the atmosphere in the room now lightened. “I’ll just mark you down for clerical worker.”

“Where’s the prestige in that? Sign me up as a doctor, or maybe a lawyer.”

Maybe my mother will get her wish of me marrying up after all. Of course, she can never know I’m not still rotting away here in the PIT.

“Nice one, Eric.” Daniel shakes his head laughing. “I’ll put myself down for ambassador to Cardinal City.”

Eric tenses beside me. “That wasn’t a joke. My father is a doctor and that’s probably what I’d get in Assignment if I wasn’t in here.”

“You can’t be a doctor. An Assignment like that requires years of extra training.” Daniel reaches up a jerky hand to pick at the top button of his shirt. “Even if you looked old enough, which you don’t, the other doctors would know right away that you didn’t complete the extra schooling.”

Elizabeth cuts in before Eric can argue. “Daniel’s right. You know hardly anything about medicine and that would raise red flags. People would start asking questions and we’d all be in danger.”

“So what are you saying?” Eric jumps up and paces back and forth in front of the bed. “We plan to break out of the PIT so we can sit in some office all day answering the phone or filing reports?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what we’re going to do.” Daniel’s voice is firm. This is the closest to angry I’ve seen him since the day I almost became a PIT whore. “And every day, we get to wake up and eat a real meal that doesn’t taste like dirt, and take a shower, and come home to a real house with a roof that doesn’t leak, and never worry about someone stabbing us in the back when we walk down the street.”

He walks across the room until he’s right in front of Eric, only inches separating their faces. “Working a boring office job sounds like a fair trade to me, but if you don’t think so, say the word now. No one is making you go with us.”

“Enough.” Elizabeth marches into the middle of the room and slides between them forcing both Eric and Daniel to take a step back. “Eric, stop complaining. The important thing to focus on is getting everything together and getting out of here. And you,” she says turning around to face Daniel. “I’m sure you can find something a little less menial than paper pusher that doesn’t require years of extra training.”

Eric and Daniel slump off back to the beds like little boys sent to time out. “Now put on your happy faces ‘cause it’s time for dinner. We only have a few more chances to eat this slop so we better get it while we can.”

Dinner is silent, and even though Elizabeth ordered everyone to put on happy faces, no one listened. We rush through the goopy potato mush and slump back to the bunk.

Molly seems to be the only one not affected by the roller-coaster mood swings this afternoon. She’s in a rare talkative mood. Of course, that could just be how she reacts to tension. “We’ll finish measuring your dress for alterations tomorrow. Then while I’m working on that you can hem Eric’s pants. You do know how to hem, right?”

I nod. Despite the sour mood in the bunk, I’m still a bundle of excitement. In a few days we’ll be leaving here for good. Everything Daniel said replays in my head. Clean clothes every day, a shower and a soft bed, real food, safety; all the things I took for granted before my Acceptance ceremony.

It’s hard to imagine walking into a kitchen any time I want for a glass of clean water or a quick snack. Every time I try to picture it, I come up with my parents’ house with the square, outdated kitchen. My mother complained a hundred times a day about drawers that stuck or the cracked counter. I used to think she was right about wanting something nicer. Now, I’d give my right eye for a kitchen just like it.

“Where are we going to live?” I can’t believe I haven’t thought to ask this before. My focus never went further than getting out, but now that our escape is so close, the number of unknowns is daunting.

“I’ll get us set up in the system to move into a Temp House. Once we get settled, we can look for our own housing.” Daniel doesn’t look at all concerned. While I was worrying about finding a boat, he was taking care of the details. But what about the little things?

“How are we going to explain our hair?” The boys don’t have much to worry about, but Molly, Elizabeth and I haven’t had a proper haircut in forever. I don’t know what my own yellow curls are doing, but if the other two are any indication, I’m not looking good.

“It’s taken care of,” Daniel says. “Molly found hats you can wear while we’re traveling. Once we reach our destination, we have an advantage. So few people travel outside of their own territories that no one knows what’s current in other places. We’ll just say your haircuts are the height of fashion this season in Cardinal City.”

I have other questions, but it’s a waste of time to ask them. I’m sure there isn’t anything I’m worried about that Daniel hasn’t already considered and taken care of.

“Becca, I was thinking we could take a walk before our shift.” Eric has calmed down some from his fight with Daniel, but his eyes still dart around the room. “Not many nights left before we rejoin the real world.”

I’m exhausted from everything that happened today, but the last thing I want to do right now is add to Eric’s sour mood. “Sure, I’d like that.”

Eric twines his fingers through mine and we head back out the door. It’s not as cool outside as it was just a few weeks ago. Summer has finally arrived in force at the PIT. Even with the sun low behind the Admin building, there’s a mugginess to the air that keeps out the chill.

We walk in a comfortable silence until Eric stops and jumps up on an oil drum. I recognize the spot from the night we found the cache of barrels. The night Eric kissed me. The night I knew I wasn’t in love with him.

“It’s such a nice view.” He reaches down a hand and pulls me up next to him. Above the buildings, the wind from the ocean is cooler. I lean into Eric and let him wrap his warm, sturdy arms around me.

I may not love him, not the way I always thought I’d love someone, but I can do this. I can let him protect me and I can respect him, and with enough time maybe I’ll grow to love him. Maybe this is the way our relationship would have been if things had been different.

Maybe in the two years between Acceptance and Selection I would have learned to love Eric for the man he is. Without the luxury of time, I need to learn to love him as my paper husband.

“I know this hasn’t been easy for you. Cardinal knows it hasn’t been easy for any of us.” Eric loosens his hold and turns me around so we’re facing each other. “I just want you to know how grateful I am that you’ve been by my side since day one.”

“Eric—” I want to stop him.

“Becca, will—” I have to stop him.

“It’s getting cold, maybe we should head back.” And it is cold. The warmth from the summer air disappeared in seconds and yet a small bead of sweat runs down the small of my back.

“Will you marry me?”

The air around me isn’t warm or cold; it’s gone. The sound of waves crashing against the shore vanishes and I’m left in a bubble of nothingness.

Eric drops down on one knee in front of me and grabs my left hand. This is the way it’s done, the way I’ve always imagined it, but I want nothing more than for him to stand up.

But why should he? It doesn’t matter what I say because in two days we’ll be married, as far as the Cardinal is concerned. This is Eric being the amazing person he is; giving me something he thinks I need. And that makes me feel even worse that this is the opposite of what I want. I thought it was. A few months ago this was the moment filling my nightly dreams. Eric is exactly who I wanted to marry. Someone my mother would be proud to have in our family. But he’s not who I dream about anymore. It’s hard to have dreams at all inside the PIT.

“Yes, of course.” Because I can’t say no. It wouldn’t change anything.

Eric stands up and cradles my face between his warm hands. He kisses me for the second time. “I don’t have a ring, but I’ll get one as soon as I can.”

I force my lips into a smile and nod as if the overwhelming joy of the moment has left me speechless.

“I know this isn’t exactly traditional, but I thought a proper proposal would help to make things more official.”

I know Eric expects me to say something. He keeps raising his eyebrows, waiting for me to gush with excitement. “I’m a lucky girl.” I know it isn’t what he’s expecting, but it’s the best I can do at the moment.

“Well, I guess we better get going. We have a shift tonight and we don’t want to raise any alarms until we have to.” Eric helps me down off the roof and we walk in silence to the Admin building. But this isn’t the comfortable silence that filled our walk out to the fence.

My legs and arms weigh me down to the point I’m barely keeping up with Eric’s pace. He kisses me on the cheek before we separate for our assigned floors. I smile again, but only long enough to reach my floor and cry.

Fifteen

I have never in my life enjoyed sewing more than I do today. It takes me all morning to get the hem straight on Eric’s pants, but every pinprick is worth the hard-earned hours of solitude. Each time Eric comes over to see how things are going or just to chat, Molly shoos him away.
Rebecca needs to concentrate. You have a lifetime to chitchat. She’s fine, now leave her alone.

I’d hug her except she might stab me with her needle. Somehow, I don’t think she’d appreciate my random display of thanks. Besides, she has no idea how grateful I am every time she makes Eric leave me alone.

I finish the pants and Molly hands over Daniel’s shirt, showing me how to crease the fabric along her pin marks to add darts.

Elizabeth and Daniel are busy sorting through the food containers, trying to decide how many to set aside for water. No one is that worried about food. Cardinal knows we can survive on next to nothing, but water is a different story. The washed-out tins don’t hold much, and with no way to keep them covered we’re likely to lose some of our supply from spills.

I tie off the thread on the last dart and fold Daniel’s checked shirt up with the others, running my hand down the row of tiny stitches.

“Break time.” Eric is at my side, pulling me up off the floor the second my hands are empty. I look to Molly to save me, but she’s no help.

“Go ahead.” Molly shoos us off with the fingers not holding a needle. “This is the last piece.”

“Where are you going?” Elizabeth calls from the corner.

“A quick walk,” Eric says guiding me toward the door. “I just want a little private time with my fiancée.”

“Someone’s taking the paper marriage a little far, don’t you think?” Daniel stands up to stretch, laughing at the joke.

“Didn’t E tell you the news?” Eric turns back to the room, wrapping a tight arm around my shoulder. “Rebecca and I made the engagement official last night.”

Daniel blinks, his mouth hanging wide open. Clearly Elizabeth hadn’t told him. “No. I…congratulations.” He sets the tin can in his hand down with the others, knocking several over in the process.

“Don’t be long.” Elizabeth bends over to pick up the scattered cans. “I want to head out for the food as soon as the sun goes down.”

“I want to go with you.”

Everyone stops what they’re doing to stare at Molly

“No offense,” Eric says beside me, “but we don’t really need a chaperone.”

“Not you,” Molly says. She turns to Elizabeth. “I want to go with you tonight to get the food.”

“No, absolutely not.” Elizabeth’s tone makes it clear the topic is not up for discussion, but that doesn’t stop Molly.

“I wasn’t asking for permission.” She stands up and throws down the skirt she’s been working on. “I’m tired of sitting around here like an invalid seamstress while the rest of you take all the risks. I’m going with you.”

Molly and Elizabeth stare at each other, the tension seething just below the surface. For the first time, I’m the one grabbing Eric’s hand and pulling him out of the bunkhouse.

***

The knot in the bottom of my stomach keeps me from sleeping, despite the late hour. They should have been back ages ago. After what Daniel called “the longest staring contest in history,” Elizabeth finally agreed that Molly could go with her to steal food for our trip while Eric, Daniel and I waited behind. Giving them extra time to stay off the main pathways and the extra weight slowing them down on the return trip, the whole thing shouldn’t have taken more than two hours. When the clock on the Noteboard showed four hours had passed, Daniel and Eric headed out to search for them.

I force my eyes closed and try not to imagine the worst. Tonight’s mission had so many opportunities for something to go wrong. They could have been caught and dragged off to Quarantine, or worse. People have been killed here for a lot less than the food they might be carrying. Squeezing my eyes shut, I bury my head into the flimsy pillow.

The door bangs open and I’m off the bunk in a heartbeat. Eric flies in with Daniel right behind him. He’s carrying someone in his arms, but it’s too dark for me to make out any features.

“What happened?” I rush over to the bunk where Daniel lays down the limp form I now recognize as Molly.

“We don’t know yet.” Daniel kneels next to the bunk and runs his hands along Molly’s limbs.

Eric finds my hand in the dark and I’m grateful for the contact. “We found her crawling back here, but all she said was ‘She told me to run’ before she passed out.”

Molly whimpers at one of Daniel’s touches, but doesn’t wake up.

“It’s her leg, probably broken.” Daniel stands running both hands through his hair. “We need to find something to set it.”

Eric runs to the corner and digs through the meager supplies we have stored there. “We need a few sticks, as straight as you can find them. Becca, take one of the blankets and tear it into strips.” He stands up with the largest of our food containers. “I’m going to collect some mud.”

Everyone jumps into action and I’m glad to have something to do. We all work in silence, but there’s no avoiding the unspoken question hanging around the room. Where is Elizabeth?

It doesn’t take long to gather the supplies. Eric takes Daniel’s spot, kneeling by the bed. “You guys need to grab her arms.” He indicates the spots on either side of the bunk by Molly’s head. “I have to straighten the bones and the minute I do, she’s going to wake up in some serious pain. You need to keep her from moving too much.”

Daniel and I nod once we’re in place. Eric moves like a flash of lightning, using one arm to tug down on Molly’s leg near her ankle and the other to guide the middle of her shin bone back into position. True to his word, Molly wakes up the second he moves her leg.

“Elizabeth!” The name screams out of her, the single word filled with undisguised desperation. It takes all my strength to keep her arm from flying up from the bed. “Get off of me. We have to get to her.”

“Shh, Molly, please. You have to keep still.” I can’t see the features of Daniel’s face in the dark, but his voice gives away his emotion. He probably wants to run for Elizabeth as much as Molly does. Daniel’s words calm her down some, and Eric works to position the sticks around the broken leg.

We watch in silence while his sure hands dip the strips of torn sheet into the mud and wrap them around Molly’s leg. She grits her teeth and I offer my hand for her to squeeze. I can’t imagine the pain, but Molly doesn’t make another sound the whole time Eric applies the makeshift cast.

“I don’t know how long it will hold, but it’s the best I can do for now.” Eric sits back and wipes his forehead with the back of his arm.

“Molly…” Daniel’s voice is haggard. “What happened? Where’s…where’s Elizabeth?”

Molly’s arm tenses on the bed and her grip on my hand is painful. “They took her.”

“Who?”

“The guards.” Molly sucks in a deep breath followed by a few sobs before she pulls herself together to continue the story. “We found the food and were climbing back out the window of the storehouse. They must have heard the noise.”

Molly shifts on the bed and as one the three of us rush through the room to gather up pillows and blankets. Taking care not to move her leg too much, we raise her up into a sitting position with pillows wedged between her back and the wall. Once she’s comfortable, we all settle down to hear the rest of her story.

“Thank you.” Molly lays her head back against the wall. With her eyes closed she could almost be asleep, but I doubt any of us will be sleeping any time soon. “It all happened so fast. They grabbed Elizabeth first. She yelled at me, told me to run. I didn’t want to leave her, but…I couldn’t…I couldn’t help her.” Tears run down her pale face and I wonder what gives her more pain, her broken bone or knowing she couldn’t save Elizabeth.

“I ran as fast as I could, but it was dark.” Her eyes open into bright spots of white in the dark room. “I tripped and must have passed out for a while. When I woke up, I couldn’t walk. I tried to crawl back here. That’s when you found me.”

Eric’s voice is no more than a whisper next to me. “What will they do to her?”

“There’s no way to know for sure.” Daniel’s words carry the strain of the night’s events. “The best scenario is they take her straight to Quarantine.”

“What’s the worst scenario?” Eric says it, but we’re all thinking it.

The only reply is Molly’s whimpering cries.

“Rebecca, stay here with Molly. Try to get some sleep. Let’s go, Eric.”

I shuffle off to my bunk to lie staring at the ceiling until the first rays of morning light stream through our lone dirty window.