Rite of Rejection (Acceptance Book 1) (15 page)

Sixteen

It’s been a week since the guards hauled Elizabeth to Quarantine for stealing food. Or at least, that’s what we hope happened. We’ve barely mentioned her name since the guys came back from their search without her. According to Daniel, a week is the usual sentence length. I’m sure the four of us are thinking the same thing this morning, but we’re all afraid to say it out loud.

Our supplies are packed and ready in the corner. We all agreed we can’t risk breaking in to the food stores again. Instead we’ve each saved our daily slice of bread. We’ve also smuggled a can into the dining hall each meal, sacrificing a few spoonfuls from everyone’s bowl to contribute to our stores. Our food supply is enough to get us through a few days at least.

“I can’t sit around here waiting all day.” Eric stands up from the bunk and marches toward the door. “I’ll be back to help carry Molly to lunch.” The door swings shut, leaving the three of us in silence.

Molly shifts around in her bed. The pain has gone down, but she still can’t put any weight on her leg.

“Can I get you anything?”

“No, just trying to get comfortable.” She reaches back and does her best to fluff the stack of flat pillows behind her. “You could tell me a story to help me sleep.”

I sit down on the ground by the head of her bed. “What kind of story?”

“I don’t know. Tell me about something happy from your childhood.”

My childhood was filled with a constantly disappointed mother and a father beaten down by a life he never planned and the wife who never let him forget it. Not many happy memories, but there were moments.

“This one time, my mother was so sick she couldn’t get out of bed for a week.”

“That hardly sounds like a happy memory.”

I laugh, but try to cover it up with a cough. “Our house was never as quiet as it was that week. My father and I made do with cold meat sandwiches, but by the end of the week all the food was gone.”

“Cardinal knows a man couldn’t figure out how to do the shopping.”

“It turned out all right. The last night before my mother got better he took us out to dinner. That was the last time the two of us spent any real time together. We ordered steaks and chocolate dessert and talked for hours about everything and nothing. I’d give anything to have another night like that with him.”

I swipe the back of my hand under my eye to remove the trace of tears. My father, always so quiet, kind of blended into the background of most of my memories. But I never doubted for a minute how much he loved me.

“That’s a nice memory. The only thing my father ever gave me was a black eye or a broken wrist.”

I whip my head around to stare at Molly. “What?”

“All my father ever wanted was a son. Instead, he got me and a wife who lost every baby she tried to have after me.”

“I had no idea. I’m so…sorry.” The words sound weak, even to me.

“Don’t be sorry for me. I got out, even if it wasn’t the way I planned.” Her hands tighten on the blanket tucked around her. “My mother is still in there with him.”

I grab her hand and her fingers relax one by one. “I don’t understand. If your father beat you, why didn’t he end up in here? He’s a monster.”

“Not a monster. Just broken.”

“How can you say that?” Now I’m the one clenching the blanket. “He beat you.”

“Yes, and he also donated regularly to the orphan’s fund, chaired the civics’ day committee and attended every school function imaginable. To others, he was an example of everything right about our society.”

Molly wasn’t lying all those months ago when she told me she knew what it was like to be alone. How many years did she hide this secret? How long did she suffer in silence?

“He may have put on a good show, but inside he was damaged goods. Shouldn’t the machine have known that and Rejected him?”

Molly’s face is unreadable. “Aren’t we all a little bit broken inside?”

“I think that’s enough conversation for now.” Daniel offers Molly another blanket. “You should try to get some rest.”

She nods and pulls the thin blanket up under her chin. Daniel takes my arm and walks toward the door. “Let’s give her a bit of quiet.”

Outside, a light breeze relieves some of the sweltering heat that’s permeated the PIT. Daniel clears away some trash on the shaded side of our building so we have a semi-cool place to sit down. Neither of us says anything as we take our seats. We don’t need to. We both know the score.

If Elizabeth doesn’t come home today, we’ll have to make a decision. Continue to wait for her or assume she isn’t coming back and leave. Every day we wait is another day we risk someone fixing the hole in the fence or a guard discovering our raft. None of us want to admit it, but we can’t wait forever if we want to get out of here.

“Are you happy, Rebecca?” Daniel’s question comes out of nowhere.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not a trick question.” Daniel smiles for the first time in a week, though it’s not the full smile that shows off his dimples. “Assuming Elizabeth comes back soon, you’ll be out on the raft in a few days and on your way to a new life of freedom as Mrs. Eric Dunstan.” He turns until our eyes meet and there’s a seriousness there that doesn’t match the light tone of his words. “Does that make you happy?”

I look away to trace a circle in the dirt with my finger. I am a horrible person. The best-case scenario for Elizabeth is that she’s locked away in Quarantine and Molly is lying inside with a broken leg that will probably never mend right, given the level of medical care she received. Daniel has no idea if he’ll ever see his girlfriend again, and here I am feeling sorry for myself because I get to marry a really great guy. I may be a horrible person, but I don’t have to push my selfishness on to Daniel.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be happy?” I smile at Daniel and hope he can’t see the lie hidden in my words. “I have everything I could ever hope for.”

“I’m glad.” Daniel smiles at me again, and this time his dimples appear on the side of his mouth, pushing my heart rate into overdrive. “I…Your happiness is important to me.”

“If you guys are done with this little lovefest, I was thinking we could get out of here.”

Daniel and I look up at the same time into Elizabeth’s emaciated face.

It takes less than a second for Daniel to get to his feet and sweep Elizabeth into a huge hug, her feet lifting right off the ground. “You’re here. I can’t believe it. Are you okay?”

“Put me down, I’m fine.”

I get a good look at her when Daniel sets her back on the ground. She doesn’t look fine. She’s even skinnier than usual and the dark circles under her eyes make her face yellow and gaunt.

“Molly?”

“She’s here. Inside, sleeping, but—” Daniel doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence before Elizabeth is around the corner and through the front door.

She’s kneeling by Molly’s bed, grasping her hands, when we enter the bunkhouse. Molly is sitting up and chatting animatedly. Elizabeth’s return has brought back some of her color. It lightens my heart to see her smiling, but Elizabeth can’t take her eyes off the mud cast covering Molly’s leg. A mixture of pain and love radiates from her stiff shoulders and tender touch.

Daniel joins her and the three of them are sucked into a little world I’m not a part of. I’m mad at myself. I can’t tell if I’m more upset by Daniel’s arm around Elizabeth’s shoulders or that it bothers me to watch him and know it will never be me he holds that way.

I step back outside and let the sun beat down on my face. The sharp pricks of light hitting my closed eyelids make it easier to resist the tears. I sit down in front of the door and focus on the noise of the PIT so I don’t have to hear the joyful laughs coming through the thin walls of our bunk.

Out here, there is no laughing. Not a lot of others choose bunkhouses this far from the main buildings, so we don’t get many visitors, but the loudest voices carry in the warm air. Two women shouting. They’re too far away to make out words, but it’s clear from their angry shrieks it isn’t a friendly conversation. Not more than a few blocks away a sharp slap followed by angry sobs and deep, booming yells bring back the memory of my first morning in the PIT. The day I almost took a course that would surely have led to finding myself as the recipient of a beating similar to the one taking place. Just another reason to care for Daniel; another reason to get out of here.

I shut out the other noises and strain to hear the waves beating up against the shoreline that will lead us to freedom. We’re too far away from the coast to actually hear the crush of the foamy waves pounding the sand, but I can pretend. The ocean calling us to a new life.

Footsteps nearby bring me back to the present. Even this far from the masses, it’s not safe to sit around with my eyes closed. I jump up from the ground and brush dirt from the back of my dress as Eric comes into sight.

I should run to him, shouting the good news of Elizabeth’s return, but I can’t muster the energy for that level of forced emotion. Instead, I stand stoically by the door and wait for him to walk to me.

“What are you doing out here?” Eric flashes me a lazy smile and leans in for a kiss, but I angle my face slightly so it lands on my cheek.

“Your sister is back. I thought I’d give everyone a little privacy.”

I expect Eric to show a similar reaction to Daniel. Maybe give a shout of joy or run into the room to see her with his own eyes, but instead his face takes on a pained look, his eyes wide with what looks like fear.

“Eric, what is it?”

“Nothing,” he says, shaking his head as if to dispel whatever thought had created such a strong reaction in him. He grabs the bend of my arm with one hand and the rusted door with the other. “Guess I’d better go say hi.”

Elizabeth turns at the sound of the door protesting against the rusted hinges. Her steps toward us are measured, but the teary grin on her face gives away the emotions she usually keeps locked up tight. Eric lets go of my arm to give his sister a hug and for a moment I can forget about the small part of me that’s hurting.

“Welcome back, E.”

“It’s good to be out of Quarantine, that’s for sure.” Elizabeth pulls back from the embrace and turns until she can see everyone. She’s still smiling, but there’s a tightness around her lips. She’s working just as hard to maintain her smile as I am. “I don’t plan on sticking around here long enough to end up there ever again. We leave tonight.”

“But Molly’s leg…” Daniel’s still sitting down by her bed, his eyes glued to the grey mud cast that blends in with the dingy white sheets.

“Molly’s leg is exactly why we have to get out of here.” Elizabeth’s eyes don’t mask the pain when she says Molly’s name, but her voice is strong and she’s instantly morphed back into commander mode. “The cast Eric made is enough to stabilize her, but her bone will never heal properly this way.” She gives Eric’s shoulder a quick squeeze. “Dad would be really proud of how well you did with what you had. But outside we can get her real medical care. It’s time to go.”

Eric grabs my hand and pulls me away toward the door. “We’ll be back,” he calls out to Elizabeth over his shoulder.

“Don’t be gone long. I want to move our supplies into position before dinner.”

Eric and I head out into the warm summer afternoon, his guiding arm hurrying my pace. The wider pathways between the buildings are more crowded today. I guess with the arrival of summer everyone plans to spend more time outside. As if we needed more of a reason to get out of here tonight. We head to the mostly empty dining hall. Other than a few older men who have nothing better to do than sit around waiting for dinner, we’re alone.

Eric pulls me down onto a bench in the corner. It’s warmer in here, but I’m thankful to get off the crowded streets.

“This is where it all started.” Eric’s heel bounces up and down, shaking the bench. “You didn’t recognize me at first, but I knew you right away.”

Why is he being nostalgic about the PIT now? I can’t wait to forget everything about this place.

“When I asked for a dance, in that restaurant, I knew then I’d marry you someday. Sometimes you just know about people. You know what I mean?”

I nod, but a lump in my throat clogs my words. I know what he means. Eric was exactly what I was looking for, before the PIT.

“I wanted to talk to you alone, before all the craziness happens later. This is our last chance to really talk until we get off the raft.” Eric takes both my hands and throws one leg over the bench to face me. I turn as best I can without sacrificing what little decorum I have left.

“Rebecca, I love you.”

I know what I’m supposed to say. My mother’s voice is practically screaming in my head. I love you, too. But I can’t say it. I love Eric, but only in the way that I love Elizabeth and Molly. How could I not love the people who are giving me back my freedom?

But that’s not the kind of love Eric is talking about. I agreed to marry him, but I won’t lie to him.

“Eric,” my voice comes out strained, so I bow my head to give me a minute to calm my nerves. I look back up and Eric is staring at me like his whole life is riding on my words. The desperation in his eyes makes it that much harder to say what I have to. “I care for you, very much. And I know in time, as we learn more about each other, I will love you, too.”