Royce (31 page)

“So Royce what do you need to speak to me about?” “I want to know more about what’s going on between you and Michael.  How is it Joy, are you separated or is it…more?”  She leaned in, her elbows on the table, “I don’t know Royce, I really don’t know,” and he could see she was sad about that.  “You want him to come back?” “I can’t say one way or the other, on the one hand yes and on the other if it’s going to be like it was no.” “I can’t believe he’s seeing someone else,” and he couldn’t believe that.  “Yeah me either, that hurts, that really hurts,” she looked at her watch.

  Royce stood up and pulled her with him, “Dance with me,” and took her in his arms.  He didn’t have any music in the house.  Tammy had kept all the CD’s and he hadn’t bothered to replace them, he’d had no need, all he knew was country and western music anyway, and he knew Joy wasn’t a big fan.  He held her in his arms and crooned “Lady” an old Kenny Rogers tune he’d heard on the radio the other day and thought of her, it was a song he used to love to slow dance to and he’d gotten between a few legs after slow dancing to that song.  He hummed the first notes and sang parts that he remembered and hummed parts he thought she wouldn’t want to hear right now, "Lady I’m your knight
in shining armor and hum, hum, hum. " He should have said
I love you,
but he didn’t think Joy would hear and accept that, "You have made me what I am and I am yours, hum, hum, hum,"
he hummed but the words he knew were
My
love there are so many ways I want to say I love you
, he sang the last line, "Let me hold you in my arms forever more,"
he crooned in her ear and danced with her.  He felt her warm against him, his arms around her, her head against him.  He hummed as he danced and then he tilted her head up and kissed her, he kissed her sweet lips. 

Joy felt his arms around her, Royce’s strong safe embrace, words to the song in her ear, and she was moved by him.  She felt that pull, that draw, and the kiss was warm, soft and wanting, “Stay with me tonight,” he said. 

She was quiet for a moment, then, “Yes,” she softly kissed his soft lips, and Royce took her hand and led her to his bed.

Royce made love to her twice last night and slept with a smile on his face. 

He woke to Joy kissing him on his cheek, “Bye Royce, it’s time for me to go.” “You don’t have to go Joy.” “Yes Royce, yes we do.  They have school tomorrow and I have to take care of a few things, it was a nice weekend okay,” and he knew she was saying
but it’s over now
. “I’ll take Justin with me so you don’t have to worry with getting him home.”
Shit!
that was his way of seeing her again.  Now she’d taken that away and she didn’t want to see him, it was real now she was letting him go. 

For the rest of the day he was in a funk.  He worked in his home office, but he couldn’t concentrate, his mind was working him,
she wants it to be over, she wants it to be over, she couldn’t wait to get out of here, she practically ran out the door, she wants it to be over.

Later he reheated the left over lasagna and he was quiet at dinner,
she wants it to be over,
running through his mind. 

Karen watched him, he was deep in thought,
he misses Ms. Joy
,
he loves her, he loves her and mom will never get him back like she thinks.

After dinner he took the kids home and he didn’t even notice Tammy looking out the window he was so deep in thought,
she wants it to be over, she wants it to be over! 
He drove home and tried to keep himself busy and his mind off Joy.  He put on his workout clothes and went to his home gym.  The only pieces of furniture Tammy had allowed him to take were the rowing machine and the sit up contraption, and that’s all he wanted anyway.  He didn’t want anything that reminded him remotely of her. 

Royce sat on the sit up bench and lowered his head and began his routine,
she wants it to be over, she wants it to be over. 
He must have lost count a thousand times and he stuck to his rule, if he missed count he started over.  He started over and over his thoughts on Joy,
she wants it to be over, but why, how can she let him love her like that all weekend.  How can she open to him, and love him too and now run away, she wants it to be over!  
He’d started over so many times sometimes he found himself just lying there, breathing hard and thinking, after a long while he moved to the rowing machine and it was the same.  He rowed and rowed,
she wants it to be over, why when it was so good?  Why? 
And he rowed and when he got tired he found himself sitting there sweat dripping, his mind deep in thought, and when he regained himself he rowed and rowed again.  He had no idea how many sit ups he’d done probably a thousand, or how much he’d rowed, but after hours he was sweat soaked from head to toe, his hair dripping wet, his muscles ached like nothing he’d ever felt and his legs were shaky and wobbly. 

He took a shower, washed his hair, readying himself for bed and thought of Joy,
just like that she wants it to be over, she ran from me, she ran from me! 
After his shower he went into his closet; he was on automatic pilot, he put on the first thing he saw, jeans and a white button down shirt.  He went commando, no underwear, he buttoned his shirt and slipped on his flip flops.  He didn’t care that it was January and it had snowed a couple of days ago and it was freezing cold at night. 

He drove to Joy’s.  He punched in the code, the one she’d given him when he could pick up Justin without him screaming his brains out, when he was taking him to his and Tammy’s house of horror.  The gate slowly opened; he drove through the neighborhood to Guadalupe Street.  He called her from his cell phone, “Joy I’m outside, I need to talk to you.”  He could tell he had woken her,
she’s sleeping
,
how can she sleep, I can’t sleep.
“Royce, what… what time is it?”  “I don’t know, open the door Joy,” he commanded.  He was standing at her front door, his hands, feet and balls freezing and he heard her unlock the door. 

She opened the door and she was wearing her signature look, short silk nightgown with matching robe, her feet bare, she stood to the side and let him in.  The warmth of the house hit him and he was grateful. “Royce what is it?”  “I need to talk to you, let’s go somewhere so we don’t wake the kids,” and for some reason she led him to her bedroom, and he didn’t care he wanted her to hear him.  She closed the door, he turned and faced her.  

Royce looked at her scanning her up and down.  He’d been moved by Joy from the moment he met her.  He was drawn to her and once he got to know her, how she made him feel, how she made him laugh, how interesting she was.  She was the only woman he wanted for his own, for his own desires, to taste, to smell, to possess.  She was the only woman he wanted and he said what he had to say, what had been on his mind since she left this morning. 

“I love you. I love you and I need you in my life…”

“Royce don’t,” she said cutting him off, “My life’s complicated enough right now without adding to it.  I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I’m not divorced yet, I’m still married to Michael and I don’t know what we’re going to do right now, so please let me have this time to figure that out first.”

“You can do that Joy.  I know you need to figure things out but I want you in my life.  I want to be in yours, take time to figure it out but while you’re figuring I want you to be with me.  I don’t care if we only have this moment I want it, I love you…” 

“Royce please, I can’t do that to you, what if Michael and I resolve this and decide to stay together?  That wouldn’t be fair to you…”

“Don’t Joy, don’t let him back in, don’t,” he pleaded.

She looked at him, “Royce, he’s the father of my children I have to think of that…”

“I’m the father of your child too Joy,” he saw her looking at him.  Her face showed the thought had just occurred to her.  The realization that that was something she should consider, he said it again, “I’m the father of your child too.  Don’t let him back in Joy, don’t let him back in,” he walked up to her and pulled her in his arms, “Don’t let him back in, don’t, I love you.  I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you,” he saw the questioning look again, “Yeah,” he nodded, “From the first moment I saw you at the Christmas party I fell in love with you Joy,” and he knew it was true.  He’d loved her from the moment he looked into her eyes and felt the need to take her in his arms.  He smiled and went further when he saw she didn’t believe him.  “You were wearing a black skirt and a gold blouse and you were so beautiful and when you turned to meet me I was yours Joy.”

She looked softly at him. “You remember that.”

“Like it was yesterday,” and he’d never tell her it was after that day he made the call to Doug.  “And when you joined The Club, Joy and I got a chance to know you and yes make love to you I fell in love even more Joy. I loved you even more.” Her questioning look again. “But you didn’t even know who I was for months,” he looked at her this time and his eyes told her. “You knew?”  And he didn’t tell her everyone knew, “Yes, I knew Joy, I knew it was you long before we took off the masks.”

“Oh Royce, oh Royce,” her hand over her mouth, “But you acted like you didn’t…”

“I know Joy. I only did that so I wouldn’t scare you, and I wanted us to take off the mask so you would know it was me.  I knew it was you and I wanted you to know too,” she looked at him in shock at his revelation.  “I’ve loved you so long Joy, think of me.  Don’t let him back.  He doesn’t deserve you, you know what he’s done.” 

Now she was over her shock and thinking of other things, “Royce it’s more complicated than that, I know what he’s done and I know why.  I can’t throw our whole life away when I know the truth…” 

“What’s the truth Joy, his truth, your truth or my truth and mine is I love you and I would never do what he’d done to you…”

“Royce stop it, stop it, you’re not playing fair bringing up his affair like that,” she paced away from him.

“Well it’s the truth Joy, it’s his truth. He is having an affair.”

She stopped, turned and looked at him, “I don’t know if I can give you what you want right now,” it seemed he wanted more than she could give.

He looked at her, “Yes you can Joy, it’s not like I’m asking for the world…”

“Well what is it you’re asking of me?  What do you want from me?”

“What I want from you…what I want from you…,” he walked away from her.  He knew what he wanted, he wanted her, he wanted to spend time with her, he wanted to be with her, he wanted to love her, he wanted…he wanted, he was looking for the right way to say it.  He turned to her and in his desperation he said the first word that came to his mind that meant all that, he went towards her, “I want you to be my girlfriend, I want you to be my girlfriend and all that implies, to hang out, to spend as much time together as possible, and to make love every chance we get.  I want you to be my girlfriend,” he saw her face as he spoke and by the time he finished she was smiling the most radiant smile at him. 

He took her in his arms, “Be my girlfriend Joy,” she smiled and laughed.  She put her arms around him, “You want to be my boyfriend,” she said smiling.

“Yes, I want to be your boyfriend,” he was smiling too. 

“That’s the sweetest thing you could’ve said to me,” she smiled and kissed him.

“Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend.”

It had been weeks now since the night he asked Joy to be his girlfriend and other than going to work he spent every second he could with her.  That night he stayed in her bed.  After she kissed him she unbuttoned his shirt and ran her fingers and lips over his warm skin.  Joy seemed to love his chest and always went there first after a kiss.  Then she unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them past his hips, “Where are your underwear?”  She asked smiling up at him. “Oh I was in such a hurry to get over here I forgot them,” she laughed, “You forgot your underwear,” she giggled hard at that.  “Well, yeah,” she pushed his pants as far as she could go.  He sat on the bed and pulled them off his legs and she took off her robe and nightgown never taking her eyes off him.  She walked over to him and straddled him as he sat on the bed, “Girlfriends and boyfriends do this don’t they?”  “Yes, yes they do, they do it as often as possible,” he smiled and said.  “Good I was hoping you’d say that,” she teased and kissed him and looked deep into his eyes and when she released the kiss.

“How’d you know it was me at The Club?”  She asked still kissing his lips, his face.  His hands were caressing her body, he didn’t stop his touching and kissing her, his hands went to her behind and caressed a nice big handful.  How could he tell her it wasn’t hard?  He recognized everything about her, her lips, her smile, her legs, and Michael standing beside her tall and regal, and their color was a dead giveaway. “Well remember that black skirt you wore at the Christmas party,” he decided to go for a partial lie. “Yeah,” “Well it fit just perfectly over your…,” and he squeezed her round swells and caressed them letting her know exactly what he was talking about, “And that night when you walked in, well I saw your…,” “My behind Royce,” she said amused and he caressed her more sensually.  “You recognized me from my behind?” “Well yeah, I told you it was lovely Joy,” she laughed and he laughed too.  She kissed him, playfully and deeply and she looked into his eyes and he looked back at her.

“But you didn’t know it was me did you?”  He asked. “No and yes, I thought it could be you or another.” “Who?”  “I can’t say, it might ruin his anonymity, but I was glad it was you.” “Why Joy, why were you glad it was me?”  His eyes questioned her now.  He fell back on the bed taking her with him and she lay on top of him.  He looked deep into her eyes waiting for an answer.

Joy looked into his deep blues, how could she say she loved the blue of his eyes?  They were a deep cloudless blue sky that she loved to lose herself in, or that she loved the shape of him and his smell, and that his smile was so easy and he made her feel so safe from the moment he took her hand that there was something about him from the moment she met him too. 

He saw her looking at him, her eyes never leaving his, searching for the right words to say and he searched hers too, looking for what he needed.  He saw her soft look, her eyes tender, warm and loving, and finally she said, “Well because I liked you, I liked you a lot, I liked talking to you, I liked being with you,” she said and it was his turn to laugh. “You liked me huh,” she smiled and nodded, “Yeah, I liked you, liked you a lot,” and he playfully rolled over and now he was on top of her and he kissed her.  “Well I like you too Ms. Abrams, I like you a lot too,”
more than like you,
I love you, but if liking me is where you are I’ll take that.

He stayed that night and he was home for dinner at her house every day, and he spent the night every night, and gradually he started leaving things, his toiletries, comfortable clothes, a few suits in Michael’s closet and now he always had a smile on his face.

So far it had worked out since they’d become boyfriend and girlfriend that Joy still did what she needed to do with Lindsey and Deon and when it was his weekend with the kids he did what he had to do with Karen and Dillon and Joy would come over to his house.  She brought everything she needed and stayed the weekend, and the kids thought nothing of it since they were the ones who coerced her into it in the first place.  They just thought it was something she started doing like her Friday night visits were now longer that’s all.  None of them questioned it, but because he was seeing Joy all the time they were starting to mix their lives more and more, like sometimes she said, “I’ll take Justin with me today, it’s choir practice and he loves to go,” she said when it should have been his weekend, or when Karen had an early morning soccer game, “Hey you go, Dillon can sleep in,” and people started to notice those things, things he hadn’t thought of.

“Hey where’s Justin today?”  They asked when they knew he should have been with him, “He’s with his mother today,” and he didn’t know he smiled huge when he said it, and when it was just him and Karen the first time he left Dillon with Joy, Tammy came up to him with fire in her eyes, “Where’s Dillon?  Did he sleep over somewhere?  We didn’t talk about this Royce!”  “He’s fine, he’s at home with…a friend of mine,” and he saw her take a step back as if he’d burned her.  “Oh…okay,” she said softer, and he only wanted to protect Joy, but he saw the affect it had on Tammy, and Collin and the rest patted him on the back. “Finally getting out there huh,” they teased.  “Look fellas let’s not okay,” they ignored him of course and wanted details, “Well who is she?” “Where did you meet her?”  “I know she’s a fox,” “Look guys, I want to keep my life private okay.  Just know she’s a beautiful lady and she makes me very happy,” he said smiling so broadly they could see that he was happy indeed.

Tammy was shocked, Royce was seeing someone.  She’d been so busy being angry and poking and prodding him to react to her she had forgotten he was a good looking eligible man and the market was full of good looking eligible females.   She’d been so intent on making him pay for the Joy and Justin debacle that she’d forgotten about that and now he was seeing someone else.  She’d been doing her best to make him look bad in front of the kids and it had backfired, they loved going over to his house and ran out the door when he came to pick them up, and they even liked the bastard baby and now he had a girlfriend.

Her heart ached at the thought of Royce holding someone else, of his lips on another woman’s, “I bet she’s some pretty blonde too,” he always loved my blonde hair, and that was true. Royce did think she had beautiful hair and often told her during their marriage.

When Karen came home that weekend she went into her room and sat on her bed, “So how was it at your dad’s this weekend?”  “Oh fine, the usual.” “Oh, I know dealing with him and the baby, I know.” “Cut it out mom, it’s not that bad, he’s a kid,” Karen hated when her mother knocked Justin.  He was not the baby at her dad’s like the baby he was over here, he was a good smart little kid, and he was slowly coming around to letting her touch him. “Well okay, but how is your dad, is he doing alright?”  “Yeah dad’s fine mom, he’s doing really good.” “Okay, well I hear he’s seeing someone, is she nice to ya’ll, I want to make sure of that?”  She asked shyly, just saying Royce had another woman hurt.

“Oh, where’d you hear that?  I didn’t know daddy was seeing someone, I haven’t met her,” and Tammy looked puzzled, “Well, that’s why Dillon stayed home from your game, his girlfriend was over,” and Karen laughed, “Oh you mean Ms. Joy,” and she saw her mother’s face fall, “Joy, what is see doing over there?”  Her mother said tightly. “No mom, it’s not like that, daddy is not seeing Ms. Joy…,” and how could she explain it to her mother, of course she knew her father was in love with Ms. Joy, that was obvious, but their relationship wasn’t like boyfriend and girlfriend.  They were like friends, good friends who hung out together and helped each other out.   How could she explain that?

How could she explain that Ms. Joy stayed the weekends now, but it wasn’t as daddy’s girlfriend it was because… because it worked out for both of them.   That they’d wanted Ms. Joy to stay too and had asked in the beginning and that’s how it started and now Ms. Joy just kept doing it because everybody wanted her too.  It worked for the best.  Dillon and Deon were ecstatic now that they stayed over and stuck together like they were glued to one another.  They talked like one another and acted like one another, it was annoying at first but fun too.   And Lindsey it helped her too.  She loved Justin like he was her child and she missed him when they didn’t stay.   And her, she liked having them there, the noise, the family atmosphere, the laughter, the working together, talking to Ms. Joy about things, and her dad did so much better when Ms. Joy was around.  The house ran so smoothly between the two of them.  How could she explain that to her mother without hurting her?  That it was just like family, that’s all, that’s why Ms. Joy was over there, and not because she was her dad’s girlfriend.

“But she was over there yesterday morning.” “Yes, it was for Justin, he needs her mom, so she comes over and helps with him…he’s a good kid, but he needs his mom sometimes…,” “Oh,” Tammy thought she understood, she didn’t like that kid at all, and Karen had told her about his crying spells, that he cried nonstop for hours on end, “Oh so she came over that morning then?”  And Karen didn’t want to lie, but she knew the truth would sound weird, “No, she stayed the night, but she sleeps in the guest room, I saw her there when I left yesterday,” she added quickly, which was true she did see Joy sleeping there when her dad opened the door to tell her they were leaving. 

She was sure of two things when it came to her mother and father.  Her father was in love with Ms. Joy and that her mother was in love with her father.  She saw her make sure she was all dressed and pretty, her makeup done perfectly when he came over to pick them up.  She’d flick her hair and make sure Duke was around so he’d stay awhile and take him for a walk, but then her father stopped coming in.  He called and let them know he was outside and then Ms. Joy started coming over with all her fun and he didn’t even have to call anymore they paced and waited anxiously for him and ran out the house when they saw him pulling in the driveway, leaving their mother without a backwards glance.

So Tammy thought she understood what was going on between Royce and Joy, that it was nothing more than her helping him with the crying baby, but then Amanda told her something that made her madder than a spitfire. 

“Hey Tammy, you free this afternoon?”  “Sure you want to do lunch or go shopping or something?”  Tammy got all dolled up and Amanda picked her up and they drove to the shops at Park Cities and spent thousands at their favorite boutiques and then had a late lunch at Roberto’s Mexican Cantina, “Margarita on the rocks,” she ordered. “Make that two with your top shelf tequila,” Amanda said and they waited and perused the menu, and after they ordered and were deep into their meal Amanda said, “I’ve got to tell you something and I heard it straight from the source.”

“Okay, what is it?”  Tammy loved gossip. “It’s about Royce and Joy” and her heart dropped from her chest.  She took a big gulp from her Margarita, “Okay, tell me, I’m ready now.”  “Well I don’t know if you know this but Michael and Joy split up.” “Noooo,” Tammy said shocked. “Apparently Michael got fed up with the…you know baby situation too,” and Tammy nodded, “About time he left her ass then.” “Yeah, well he did, and I happened to run into him the other day and we took in a drink, and we were talking about the baby and he let it slip…but I told him I would keep it in confidence, so Tammy you have to promise you won’t mention it to anyone,” and Tammy’s heart lurched.  Maybe the baby wasn’t Royce’s, and her hopes soared.  She could get Royce back if that were true, she leaned in closer to hear Amanda say what she hoped. 

“Well he let slip that while Royce and Joy were at The Club they never wore protection, that they never wore a condom at all and that’s how she got pregnant…Can you believe the nasty bitch?” Amanda said wincing and taking a sip of her drink, “And Michael was none too happy about it either, as a matter of fact he’s pissed in the worst way about it…That they didn’t even try and protect themselves or their spouses,” she winced again and took another sip of her drink, “Can you believe it, all those times he was with her?”  She took another sip, “You’re lucky she’s clean Tammy, that’s all I have to say, you dodged a bullet on that one.   What if she’d had something, you know herpes or something…”

Tammy sat there stunned listening to Amanda and her heart and mind shattered.  Royce had promised her he’d always wear a condom, had made her swear she’d always wear a condom too, and he’d told her the condom broke, “The condom broke one time that’s how it happened,” and now she’s finding out he never wore one, he never wore one!  Why would he do that, why?  Her heart was racing. “Are you alright?” Amanda asked seeing the distress on her face.  Tammy took two big gulps from her drink, “It’s…it’s just…son of a bitch!  Son of a bitch!  I can’t believe what you’re saying Amanda…Are you sure?  Are you sure?”  Amanda reached over and consoled her, rubbing her arm, “I’m sure, believe me I’m sure,” and she was the way Michael let it slip she knew it was true. 

He’d had her on the bed and they’d already gone once and he was going for round two when he reached for his condom packet.   She saw him fiddling with it, trying to get it open, he tore the package open with his teeth and somehow he took the condom with it when he spit out the torn piece and they both laughed and looked for the condom on the floor, “We got to use one of these.  Not using a little thing like this can get you in all kinds of trouble,” and she teased, “What kind of trouble are you referring too?”  And he looked at her, “You know what kind, the nine month kind and I’m not stupid like my wife who never wore one with her lover and she’s got the baby to prove it.”  They found the condom he slid it on and took her to bed never realizing what he’d said, but Amanda knew exactly what the implications were.  Royce and Joy had played with fire and had gotten burned.