Royce (29 page)

Joy went into her room, took her shower and climbed into bed.  Michael was already there, she was exhausted and turned off the light, ready for a good night’s sleep.  Michael pulled her on her back and lay on top of her, “I’m glad you washed off his scent.  I swear I can smell him on you,” he said angrily.  She could smell the alcohol on his breath and she felt herself freeze.  He’d promised he wouldn’t hurt her again, and he’d been doing so well, she couldn’t speak, he forcibly kissed her, his mouth hard on hers.

“Michael,” she could hear the weak plea in her voice. “Michael what, don’t Michael me, there’s nothing you can say to tell me he doesn’t still want you, he wants you doesn’t he!  He wants you doesn’t he!  Is that why you’re still going over there, to see him!”  “No, please Michael…,” and his mouth came down hard on hers and she felt him pry her legs apart with his and pull her gown up. “Oh god no Michael you prom….,” he pushed his tongue deep in her mouth cutting her off, he pressed his body hard on hers, his member hard, strong and erect and he pushed inside hard, she let out a cry of pain. 

He grabbed her legs and pulled them up and placed them on his shoulders and rammed into her, BAM! BAM! BAM!  Joy felt the tears rolling down her face,
he promised,
he promised. 
She lay there and let him assault her with his weapon of pain, tears running down her face.  She felt the pain of him ramming into her, but it was nothing like the pain of him breaking her heart.

Right after Justin’s birthday Michael had started brutalizing her again, now he was staying out later and later coming in at all hours and smelling of another woman.  She knew she had to save her marriage and it was her going over to Royce’s that upset him so much, but she still felt he handled his pain poorly, was he seeing another woman, it sure seemed like it?  And Royce she was trying to make him stronger, and he didn’t seem so helpless anymore, could she finally stop going over there?  They’d never tested that, it had worked this way so they’d left it alone, but Michael, it was killing Michael,
you love being over there though
, her subconscious chimed in, and that was true she loved being at Royce’s.  She had fun there and felt safe and she could be herself, there was no pain and she didn’t have to watch what she said or did or it might set someone off, but it was time, it was time to let Royce go. 

It was time to make some changes in her life and she wasn’t going to spend the year like this.  It was two o’clock in the morning and Michael wasn’t home, Joy watched the clock and waited for him.

Michael had been upset with himself, he’d promised he wouldn’t hurt her again, but she made him so angry, she didn’t understand how much the things she did hurt him.  She was his wife and she ran to help Royce and not only did she run to help him she stayed and stayed over there, it was driving him crazy, and before he knew it he was pounding in her again, hurting her the way she hurt him, and now he had taken it further.  At first when he went to Barristers he sat at the bar and watched, he’d have a few drinks and play this game with himself.  He’d people watch and try and guess who was married, who was having an affair, who was a whore, who was out to get laid and who was there for fun.  He would watch body language, eye contact, physical contact and he’d laugh as he played his game.  And he’d met a couple of women too, but he wasn’t biting, but a few weeks before Christmas he made two calls.

“Gina Spot, this is Malcolm Xrated, I know it’s been awhile, I was wondering is that spot is still wet,” it took him a few drinks to make that call, but the result was what he wanted, she met him at a hotel, and the next call he made, “Dirty Diana, this is Malcolm Xrated, you want to get down and dirty with me tonight?”  “What about Joy?  If you don’t worry about Joy, I won’t worry about Joy,” he laughed and said, and the result was the same.  They met at a hotel and he left her panting and wiped out on the bed. 

Now he called them often, first one then the other, and he’d even met Dirty Diana or Amanda around lunch after she said, “It’s easier for me to get away during the day, Collin’s at work, the kids are at school,” so she became his little afternoon tryst, and each had asked him, “What’s up with you and Joy, is it over or what?”  “No, I just need something a little different in my life right now,” and he took them to bed and released all the frustrated, pent up rage, pain and heartbreak and for the moment at least forgot about Joy. 

Joy waited for Michael.  She heard his key in the lock, for some reason he’d started using the front door, which was stupid because no wife in her right mind was going to sleep knowing her husband was out at all hours of the night doing who knows what to who knows who.   She wasn’t sleeping, and she heard him coming down the hall and into their bedroom.  This was stupid too, because he wasn’t creeping in like a cheating husband.  He came in like he always did, so why the ruse at the front door she didn’t understand.  She sat up and turned on the light, he jumped at the sudden brightness but he stood there facing her.  “Did I wake you?”  “No I was awake.” “Well okay then,” he said as if it wasn’t after two in the morning.  “What are we doing Michael?”  He stopped and looked at her, “I don’t know Joy, you tell me, what are we doing?” 

“Well I’d say you’re trying to make a point and either I’m a slow learner or your point hasn’t been taken seriously so you keep trying,” he came and sat on the bed, “So are you a making a point and are you sleeping with someone else?”

“Yes and yes,” 

“So is your point you want to end this, end our marriage?” 

“Yes,” he put his face in his hands, and Joy felt the tears slide down her face, just like that, he said it just like that.

“Why Michael, can I ask why?”  She wanted to hear his reasoning even though she knew it had to do with Royce. 

He looked at her, “Because I can never forgive you for being with Royce without using a condom, and the result of that, and the way you put helping him before our marriage,” there he’d said it, and it felt like a wrecking ball rammed through her chest and crushed her.  Michael had never forgiven her and from the looks of it never would.

“Well then I guess it’s over.” 

“Yes, I’ll leave tomorrow and send for my things.”

“Alright,” she said wiping tears and that was that. 

It was January and for Royce it had been a typical winter, some days hot and others near or below freezing.  It was his weekend with the kids and it was cold and ice was on the ground.  He was from Amarillo, the panhandle where it got cold so he was use to cold freezing weather and seeing snow on the ground.  Sometimes he’d wake on the ranch and look out his window and see nothing but white, miles and miles of white.  It was a typical winter except for the fact he could feel Joy distancing herself from him.

The distancing had come with the weaning of Justin to cups, and that had been a doozy and trial of patience, but in the end it was Mr. Bear who saved the day.  Justin wanted Joy’s breast and would cry and whine uncontrollably and she’s say, “No, you’re a big boy now, drink out of a cup,” and Justin would wail, and a couple of times he wanted to say, “Just let him suck you Joy, hell I know how he feels I want to suck you sometimes so bad too,” but he pressed his lips together in a tight line and let her work it out.  She still had a freezer full of her milk but now she put it in a cup, so at night he would warm up his sippy cup and he or Joy would hold him while he drank his warm milk and held on to Mr. Bear, and when he fell asleep they placed him and Mr. Bear in his bed.  Now more times than not he was the one sitting in the chair holding Justin, “You have to get used to doing this now Royce,” and he wondered was she weaning him too?  

He thought of Joy, was she was letting him go, he needed her, needed her so bad.  The best day of his life was Friday.  Could he go on without her?  He hadn’t been with another woman since he left Tammy, it had been months now since he’d felt a woman beneath him, tasted a woman’s wet sex on his tongue or had a woman’s lips sucking him so good his erection deep in her mouth.
God you’re horny Royce
, he told himself. “If Joy is leaving me maybe I should start looking?”

He decided to leave early and packed up his briefcase, it seemed winter was here to stay, it had snowed non-stop last night and being safety conscious school was cancelled today.  But instead of it snowing all day the sun came up bright, the city was white and the snow had stopped and on his way home he called Joy, “I’m on my way home you think can bring Justin over?”

He picked up Karen and Dillon and met Joy at his house, “Let’s have our own Snow Day,” Joy said since it turned out to be a beautiful day, like most snows in Dallas it wouldn’t stay around long, it might be here today and gone tomorrow, so they dressed as warmly as possible and went out back.  The kids played and she lit the fireplace outside and made hot chocolate and they came over periodically to warm up and would run right back to play in the white wonder. 

“I’ll grill while we’re out here,” he said and grilled in his warm winter clothes and watched Joy.  She was having so much fun playing with the kids and he loved her and wondered what he’d do without her. 

“Alright steaks are done!”  He called and they trooped inside happy with red noses and when they were sitting at the table eating and talking Lindsey said, “Mommy since Daddy’s isn’t home with us anymore can we spend the night with Justin?”

Joy saw Royce’s head pop up, he was cutting his steak and froze when he heard what Lindsey said.  She looked at him and he never took his eyes off her, “Well no darling daughter this is Mr. Royce’s home we can’t just volunteer to stay over his house like that.”

“I don’t mind,” Royce said, “It’s okay with me, we have the room.” 

Joy laughed and pointed her fork at him, “You’re not helping Mr. Harrington,” he laughed, “Well it’s true, it’s okay with me and we have room,” she saw Karen looking from her to Royce a smile on her face, “He’s right Ms. Joy, we do have room.”

“You’re not helping either…and besides we don’t have anything to sleep in and we’re not prepared for tomorrow.  They’ve got choir practice, so no not this time,” she said quite sure of herself.

“Well, look go get what you need, the kids can stay here and I’m sure Justin would love for you to stay,” Royce said. “Yeah mommy please, you want us to stay with you tonight Justin?”  Lindsey urged nodding her head up and down and of course Justin nodded and everyone laughed.

“Okay, okay we can stay,” she gave in.

After all the children were in bed, “I think I’ll go to bed too,” but Royce took her hand, “Have a drink with me and talk awhile.”

“Okay, let me shower first so I can go straight to bed okay.”

“Okay, we’ll shower and meet back here.”

Royce showered and shaved closely, he was about one thing tonight and that was having Joy .  After all in his opinion he’d shown superhuman strength and restraint these past months.  Fear of losing her is the only thing that stopped him, but now it was time.  He looked at himself in the mirror, he’d wet the towel with warm almost hot water and pressed it to his face,
Joy, Oh Joy
went through his mind.  He was a little nervous, it had been a long time and he wanted her badly, and he didn’t want to push his luck trying so hard,
Louie, Louie, Louie,
he chuckled, “I’m Louie alright and she’s my brown sugar,” he smiled and shaved.  He came out before she did so he went into the kitchen and opened a bottle of white wine. 

Joy walked in wearing a short blue with brown lace silk nightgown and robe, her hair brushed soft and silky and no make-up, her face soft and glowing and she took his breath away.  She sat on a bar stool at the counter and he could smell her clean fresh scent.   Royce poured wine in two wine glasses, his chest bare wearing only his pajama pants, his hair wet, but drying in his signature style, and to Joy he looked so damn good. 

Danger! Danger!,
flashed across her mind.  It wasn’t fear, she’d never been scared of Royce, even from the moment he took her hand at The Club, before she knew who he was she’d felt safe with him, but now she was scared of her feelings for him.  Scared of her heart pounding, scared of her body responding to him the way it was.  She was feeling that pull, that draw; there was always something about Royce.  And now she felt its pull as her blood pulsed through her veins and his beautiful bare chest beckoned her to touch him, to run her fingers through his soft patch of hair. 

Royce looked at her, he smiled and she caught his blue eyes and her heart lurched,
stop it,
she told herself,
you still have to work things out with Michael, it hasn’t been that long since he left,
and despite what Michael had done she still had a fraction of hope that he’d come to his senses and come back to her.  She knew she’d forgive him, she missed him and wanted to save her marriage, and going to Royce wouldn’t help the situation.  She looked away, she couldn’t get caught up into Royce right now.

Royce saw her look away and knew his chances were slim, but he could spend time with her anyway.  He came around the counter and handed her a glass of wine and held the other and took a sip and so did she.  He took her hand, “Let’s sit and talk awhile, it seems you haven’t told me some things,” he said smiling and she laughed a small laugh.  He led her to the sofa, “Tell me what’s going on with you and Michael.” She watched him take a sip of his wine and put the glass on the end table, she took a sip too.

“Well we split up,” he reached down and pulled her legs across his lap, “I can massage your feet while we talk,”
oh shit,
danger! danger!,
but she didn’t stop him.  “What happened?” And she knew she’d never tell him it was because of him, that Michael read more into things when she came over, that he’d never forgiven her for not wearing a condom and now she knew he’d never accepted Justin.  “He’s having an affair,” and Royce saw her eyes water.  He massaged her feet and knew how to make it feel good, “I’m sorry Joy, I’m so sorry,” he said massaging, “So where is he now?”