Royce (28 page)

She’d better own up to what she does he thought, because if she hurt him one more time and if he could control himself enough and not beat her to within an inch of her life he knew he would never speak to her again.  She would never hurt Justin again and she would no longer be his daughter and he didn’t want that, it was time to start anew. “I will not tolerate ignoring him and pretending he doesn’t exist,” he said looking at both of them, “This is our home and he is part of our home.  Here you will accept it and be decent human beings,” Karen frowned, “Karen wipe that frown off your face,” she looked antsy and squirmed in her seat, “What is it?”

“Well it’s all about him, what about us?”  “Okay, tell me something that needs to be done about you or your brother and we will address it.” “Well, well…,” she said pausing, he looked at her waiting, when she couldn’t come up with anything he said, “It’s about him because he’s the one who’s been subjected to…things no baby should,” and he looked at her and he knew she knew what he was talking about, “It will not happen here,” and Karen had to get her say, “Well I don’t like it, I don’t like that he…he…” “He what?”  “He’s your baby why should I have to care about him,” and Royce wanted to slap her, be calm he told himself. 

“That’s exactly why you should care about him, he’s my baby and that means he’s your brother and you should care about that,” he said as calmly as he could. “Well how can I?  He’s not a very good baby, he cries all the time, he’s just not a good baby,” she protested, and Royce had to control himself, “Why do you think he cries all the time?  You think it could be from the way he’s been treated…Treated by you and your brother?”  She looked down and Dillon looked up, and he looked at Dillon and he wondered did Dillon think he was innocent in this because he ignored him, did he not realize that was just as cruel.

“You want to say something Dillon now is the time?”  Dillon looked down, “No, it’s okay.” “Look Dillon say what’s on your mind,” he said softer. “No, it’s okay dad,” and that was it Royce couldn’t get anything out of him.  He knew how Karen felt and that wasn’t any different than the way she was at Tammy’s, but Dillon, he didn’t know.  They finished breakfast and he got himself and Justin dressed for the game and Karen flipped out, “Is he coming?  Daddy you know I play horrible when he comes!”  He stood looking at her, “What did I say at breakfast, you were there!  What did I say?”  He’d had it with her.

And Karen had a horrible game.

But Dillon surprised him, after the game he walked back to Royce holding Justin’s hand and Royce beamed.  Seeing Dillon holding Justin’s hand was a joyous moment, even though Karen came off the field upset.  She ran to Tammy crying, who hugged her tight, squeezing Karen to her breast, “Come on let’s go,” he said to Dillon.  He saw Dillon looking at his mother and Karen, “Go, you can say good bye to your mother,” and he wondered if the wonderful moment between Dillon and Justin would be lost now with just a few words from Tammy or Karen.  Tammy held on to Karen until Dillon stood there, “Oh come here baby,” she grabbed Dillon and hugged him just as tight, “I know it’s hard, I know it’s hard,” she emphasized.

Royce rolled his eyes,
she makes this into a big deal when she shouldn’t
, his friends were collecting their things, he walked over to Tammy, “Hello Tammy,” he said politely. “Hello Royce,” she said curtly. “Okay, it’s time to go,” Tammy released Karen and said, “You have to go with your father now,” and the way she said it was if to say,
I know you don’t want too, but you have too
, and he wanted to shake his head. 

And as they walked away, “See daddy, I did horrible!” Karen wailed and he turned on her, “Karen I will not put up with that nonsense!  It’s you out there on that field!  If you want to blame the presence of a baby for not doing your best then go home with your mother!”  Karen stared at him in disbelief, her mouth open.  Tammy came up furious at him, “Leave her alone! Leave her alone!”  He turned on her now, “Go home Tammy and take her with you!  If you want her to believe something like that then I’m through with the both of you!”  Tammy prostrated, her mouth open, “Go Tammy, I’m done! Go!” He said angrily.  Then he turned to Karen, “You can come home with me or not, but I will not put up with that crap!  I mean it Karen!  This stops now or go home with your mother!”

Their friends heard them airing their dirty laundry; he turned and walked away.  Dillon followed and he didn’t know Karen had come until they were at the car.  He’d moved Justin’s car seat to the front passenger seat in case he cried and strapped him in, “You want French fries?”  He said to Justin who laughed and smiled at him, he loved this child and Dillon made him proud for a moment but Karen was still pushing his limits.  He saw her in the mirror her arms crossed against her chest still fuming. 

And Royce realized nothing had changed.

And nothing would change.  The next Wednesday he went to pick up Justin, and again he cried and cried, “Royce, forget it this time okay, maybe next time…I don’t know, maybe he still has to get use to going with you,” and he thought,
no it’s Karen, but I’m working on improving that.
  This was breaking him but he was not looking forward to a repeat of last time so sadly he agreed and drove away.  Last weekend proved it wasn’t going to be easy to win the kids over, but Dillon surprised him.

Royce packed up his briefcase he was both excited and nervous, it was his weekend with the kids and he missed them, he was in the big house all alone, but Justin, he didn’t know what do about Justin.  He went home and changed into comfortable clothes, shorts, golf shirt and flip flops and went straight to Joy’s.   And this time Justin didn’t cry and he smiled brighter.  Happily he drove to pick up and Karen and Dillon and Justin became fussy.  Royce drove and tried to soothe him and by the time he got home he was crying at the top of his lungs and out of control, and he could do nothing but call Joy, and he wanted to kick himself for not knowing what to do in this situation.

“Look who came to see you Justin, Sissy and Deon, look Justin,” Joy said soothingly and Justin stopped falling all over the place in Royce’s arms.  Joy took him in her arms, and he hugged her and slowly stopped crying. “See Sissy and Deon are here to play with you,” and through his tear filled eyes he smiled and held out his arms to Lindsey.  Lindsey gave him the biggest smile and he almost fell in her arms.  

On his next visit he walked into Joy’s house with trepidation and when she handed Justin to him he fell backwards almost out his arms he was crying so hard, and Joy tried to soothe him with, “It’s only daddy, you want to go with daddy,” and Justin screamed until Joy said, “Look I’ll just bring him over and stay awhile until he’s settled in okay, I don’t know what’s going on,” and Royce could see she was worried and he knew it was still Karen, although she didn’t glare at him he still couldn’t get her to go near him, she stayed away, she immediately went to her room and only came down when she wanted something and Dillon was no better except he at least said hi to Justin, but he didn’t really interact with him.  Royce acquiesced, anything was better than driving with a crying screaming baby, and that was the start of Joy coming over every other Friday.

And now Royce looked forward to Friday, the house ran so much smoother with Joy, Lindsey and Deon there and she was teaching him things, like how to cook and fun activities to do with the kids, like movies, Twister, puzzles and games.  He loved spending time with Joy and the moment he looked forward to most was when she said, “I’m going to give him his bath,” and after his bath she sat in the pale green stuffed rocker and put Justin to her breast.   He would kneel in front of her and hold her and when she laid Justin down he knew it was time for her to go.

When her Friday night visits started Joy would bring Justin over after dinner, but after a while Royce asked, “Can you bring him earlier Joy?  I’d like to see him before eight.” “Well what about dinner Royce?  I like to cook and that takes preparation,” she questioned him.  “Well prepare it over my house, if that’s okay, I mean look I’ll give you a key, you can do whatever you need too and Justin will be here when I get home,” she had to think about it and then she said, “Okay, I can do that, Michael gets home late on Friday’s anyway so I can do that.”

It was Friday and Joy hummed as she packed up everything she would need for tonight.  She hadn’t given a second thought to what she was doing, this was for Justin and she was so comfortable around Royce, he made her laugh, and he helped so much with Justin, and they’d shared some beautiful moments, and Justin she loved how he was with Justin. 

Since the trial Michael had stopped interacting with him, he did smile and say, “Hey Justin,” and he would pick him up if he crawled over to him, but he didn’t initiate anything the way Royce did; he didn’t offer to change his diaper ever, or bathe or feed him.  At least he didn’t mistreat him and Joy was thankful for that, but to get him to act like a father she didn’t know if that would happen, it was Royce he needed and Royce needed him she knew that too.

“What time is it?  Where is she?”  Michael came home to an empty house again.  He knew Joy was taking Justin over to Royce’s on Friday, and he didn’t like it, “Why take him over there, how is he going to learn to take care of him?”  He scolded her. “Michael, please tell me you have a heart, I can’t let him cry like that,” and Michael knew how Justin cried; he screamed bloody murder when Royce tried to take him, and he chuckled to himself about that. He can’t even stop his kid from crying, “Well, we tried to tell him he’s better off with us, now look at what he’s done, the poor kid doesn’t even want to be around him,” he chuckled and told Joy, “Maybe he’ll stop this and let us do what we intended.”  He heard the garage door going up; he looked at the clock, almost eleven,
why is she over there so long?
  The door opened and Joy and the kids walked in, they were dressed in their pajamas,
what the fuck is going on, does she have them showering over there now?
He’d been staying away on these Fridays but every since she’d started taking Justin over to Royce’s it’s been later and later for her coming home. 

“Hey Michael,” Joy said with a smile, “Hey daddy,” the kids said in unison, he could tell they were tired, “This late Joy?”  He said looking at the clock. “Go to bed kids,” she walked up to him and hugged him and he held her in his embrace,
why does she always smell like Royce?  I can smell him all over her
, she released him, “I’m tired Michael.” “Okay but it’s late Joy,” he said to emphasize he wasn’t happy about her coming in so late even though he had just gotten in himself. 

Since he’d been staying away on Friday nights he’d started hanging out at this club called Barristers.  It was for the thirty something crowd, and it was a great club at the top of a high rise building, very modern and chic, the decor a sophisticated chrome and black.  He’d go there after work and stay until he thought the pick-up was done, but once Joy started taking Justin he still stayed away.  He hated seeing her packing up Justin’s bag, and he always thought she seemed happy.  He wanted her to be pissed she had to take time out of her day to help Royce, that’s all this was, helping Royce.  Royce was a big boy he should be able to handle his baby’s crying, but no she felt she had to help.

He clicked off the kitchen light and followed her into the bedroom.  She walked towards the bathroom stripping as she went, taking off her shirt, tossing it, then her pants and tossing them.  She was down to her thong, he saw her beautiful upright round cheeks bare for him to admire.  He was hard and he wanted to hurt her, she smelt of Royce, why did she smell of Royce, was he fucking her?
Nah
, he knew that wasn’t happening, he had a sixth sense about Joy, he knew her.  She was the kind of woman that it would be hard for her to sneak around behind her man’s back, it just wasn’t in her.  That was one reason she could do The Club, it wasn’t sneaking around, it was out in the open; he just wished she’d worn a condom that’s all. 

He heard the shower turn on and he walked in the bathroom and stripped too.  Their shower was open on both sides and made of stone like a Spanish style grotto with double shower heads and sprayers at different levels for your showering pleasure and he loved to make love to Joy in there.  She was in the shower now washing off and didn’t hear him walk in behind her.  He was hard as hell watching her, and she’d been with that damn Royce all evening.  What did she do over there so long?  He pulled her towards him, she gasped startled, but then she smiled, “Oh it’s you,” she teased and he was taken aback,
was it Royce she was thinking of?
“Who else would it be?“ 

Joy looked at him, he wasn’t smiling, his face and eyes had gone hard. “I didn’t mean anything by it,” she said softly, she was back to walking on eggshells around him.  He took the soap and rubbed it on her body; he’d wanted to feel the warm water run over their bodies as he loved her, but now the mood was gone.  Joy felt his icy silence as his hands roamed all over her, she washed him and didn’t know what to say either.  They washed up quickly and got out.  She’d been looking forward to a nice long hot shower but Michael’s presence had ruined that and after they climbed into bed Michael started in on her.

“Why are you over there so long?  I mean how long does it take to quiet a baby?”

“I only stay to for Justin, Michael, it’s not about anything else okay, it’s just for Justin.  My being there, Lindsey and Deon being there helps him,” and she knew it helped Royce too.  Royce needed her and she knew that.  She could see it in his eyes, his actions told her he needed her.  He let her take over his home on these Fridays and let her run the show so she knew he needed her help.  And when she went to put Justin to bed Royce would play with him while she bathed him, and once she had Justin ready for bed and smelling baby sweet she’d sit in the pale green stuffed rocker her shirt open Justin at her breast and Royce would come to her. 

He’d kneel on a pillow in front of her and wrap his arms around her and relax and talk to her and Justin, and Justin would caress his face as he nursed his eyes closed going to sleep.  Royce would lay his head against her and she could feel and see the helplessness in him, he needed her and she didn’t mind being there for him, if it helped Justin she didn’t mind. 

“What are you doing then until eleven o’clock at night?”

“Well lots of things Michael, we hang out, you know, we just hang out until it’s time for Justin to go to bed, it helps Michael.  Royce says he’s much better the rest of the weekend since we started taking him on Fridays,” she was hoping Michael would understand.  He looked at her for a long moment, digesting her words, and she saw the flicker of anger in his eyes.

“Okay Joy,” he said, “Okay Joy,” he repeated and she felt something in the way he said it.  “It’s only for Justin, please understand Michael I don’t know how else to explain it, he’s just a baby, he needs this,” and she would do anything for her baby, didn’t he understand that.  If her baby needed her to take him to his father so he wouldn’t scream until he was so distraught, flailing and miserable she’d do it rather than see him cry like that.

They kept this up until November rolled around and it was Justin’s first birthday, and Joy was coming over tonight.  Royce knew she’d had a party for him last weekend.  She’d let it slip when he asked her what to get him for his birthday, “I’ll let you know after his party then I can tell you what he needs.”

“Party, he’s having a party?”  He asked shocked and a little pissed he wasn’t invited. “Yeah, Royce I’m sorry but Michael…” how could she tell him Michael was on the warpath about him again, “He doesn’t want, you know…” “Yeah figures…,” “But don’t worry I’d planned to have a party for him at your house next weekend if that’s okay, just us and the kids, but we’ll do it real nice,” and in spite of the slight he smiled, “You know I don’t mind Joy, of course, so once you know what he needs let me know,” and now it was his turn to have a party.

Joy told him he loved this red fire truck that he could ride around on; he bought the fire truck and picked up Karen and Dillon and when they walked into the house, “Wow!”  They exclaimed.  The kitchen was full of red and yellow balloons floating at the top of the ceiling with streamers flowing from them.  The theme was Sesame Street and Elmo in particular, but Big Bird was in a close second, hence the yellow.

And Joy let them smash all those balloons which had them laughing and wiped out and afterwards when it was time to put Justin to bed Joy tied his Elmo Mylar balloons, the only ones they didn’t pop, to the back of his bed, “So he’ll remember his first birthday,” she said to Royce, “Did you get lots of pictures babe?”  “Yeah, tons,” he said happy, and after Justin’s bath Joy sat in the pale green rocker and opened her shirt, Royce saw her swollen breast.  He wanted to suck her so bad, take her nipple in his mouth and suck.  She placed a sleepy Justin to her, he took the pillow and placed it in front of her, she stroked his hair as he wrapped his arms around her.

“This is the last time he’ll nurse, I have to wean him to a cup,” she looked deep into Royce’s eyes, “I’m a little sad about that…our little boy is growing up,” and Royce was sad about that too, these moments he shared with her were they ending too?  He looked at her wondering, he loved holding her, watching her nurse, her breast exposed to him, his mouth inches away some times, and it took everything in him not to touch her and take her in his mouth.  He didn’t know what to say, he liked being close to her.  Joy was looking at him, she would miss these moments too, it felt like they were connected as one, like a family.  She stroked Royce’s hair, then she stroked Justin’s plump little baby leg, yeah, she would miss these moments too.

Justin was a year old, shouldn’t her visits stop?  He was tired of her still going to Royce’s after all this time.  Michael fumed waiting for Joy to come home, “What was it three, four months, how long does it take to get a kid use to his father, surely not this long,” he waited and grew angrier and angrier.  He was sitting in the dark watching TV when Joy and the kids walked in.

“Hey babe,” she said happily and laughing.  They’d sung Karaoke tonight, she’d taken Lindsey’s Karaoke machine and they’d had so much fun, and Royce, Karen and Dillon were shocked that Lindsey could really sing, and marveled at her pure clear voice.  “Okay get to bed kids.” She’d started having them take their showers over Royce’s while she and Royce were bathing and putting Justin to bed, “Good night mommy, good night daddy,” they said and trooped upstairs.