RUIN - Part Two (The RUIN Series Book 2) (4 page)

"Did you text her to tell her you'd be late to the bridal shower." He nods towards my smartphone in my palm.

"I did. I told her I'd be there within the hour. She's having a blast. I doubt that Lex will even miss me." Judging by the excitement in her voice, I know that she won't notice if I don’t show up at all.

He motions towards a chair next to the dining room table. "Sit, Kayla."

His commands are wearing on me. After I'd brought up the woman Ben was with when their mother died, Noah's face had gone ashen. He'd pulled me to my feet, hailed a cab and ordered me into the elevator. Now, we're sitting face-to-face in his apartment.

"How do you know about the woman? About Sammy?"

Sammy? That wasn't what Ben called her. "You mean Samantha?"

"Kayla." His hand taps my fingers as he ignores my question. "Tell me what Ben said about Sammy."

I wish I could speak to Ben. We haven't discussed this. The possibility of my having a pointed discussion with Noah about his brother's first sexual partner seemed incomprehensible until a few minutes ago. Now, I'm in the middle of it and I need to own what I've already put out there. "He didn't say much, Noah. Just that she was his first and it happened that day."
He's on his feet. "He actually told you he lost his virginity that day?"

I nod. This is too personal of a conversation for me to be having with Ben's brother. I don’t share the details of my first experience with even my closest friends. I'd be mortified if anyone was passing those details around. I need to talk to Ben. "I think I should talk to Ben about this."

He rubs his index fingers against his temples. "Kayla. This is very important. I need you to think hard about what Ben told you."

"How does any of this matter, Noah?" I'm exasperated. I wanted to talk to him about forgiveness and second chances. I wanted him to understand that Ben made a horrific mistake and emotionally he's paying for it every single day. I don't want to continue to discuss the woman Ben was intimate with while his mother was dying.

"It matters more than you know." He wrings his hands together. "Kayla, please."

I stare at his face. The color hasn’t returned. His eyes are darting from me to the wall behind my head. I pull on the edge of my skirt. I feel exposed and vulnerable. I feel as though I'm giving away my own secrets, even though they belong to Ben.

"Noah." I hear the plea in my own voice. "I don't know if I should be sharing this."

He moves swiftly, his hand pressing against the table next to me as his breath races over my forehead. "I need you to tell me right now word-for-word what my brother said to you."

I look into his eyes. I see desperation. He may be trying to mask it, but he's frantic for answers that only I can provide right now. I swallow hard. "He told me that she came over right after you and Ron left."

"Sammy came to the house that day?" He leans back slightly. "You're sure he said it was that day?"

"I'm positive." My voice is strained. "He said that she came into the room where your mother was."

His mouth thins. "Go on."

"She kissed him." I pull my hands to my lips. "He said it wasn't like any other kiss before."

"Sammy kissed him?"

"She told him that she was going to do things to him." My voice cracks at the admission. "They were sexual things."

"How could he have been a virgin then?" The question isn't directed at me judging by the way he's speaking softly in the direction of the floor. "He was too old to still be a virgin. I'd slept with so many…"

I jump in out of necessity. I don't want to hear about his sexual conquests when he was a teenager. I need him to help ground me. I feel lost within our conversation. "Noah, he was a virgin until that day."

Without warning his hand slams the table next to me, causing the vase of fresh flowers to teeter precariously.  He reaches to balance it, his arm sweeping past my face. "I can't believe this."

I grab hold of his forearm. "Please, Noah. I don't understand."

His eyes float over mine but they're distant and detached. "Kayla, what else? Tell me what else he said."

I hesitate only briefly before I answer, "Ben said that he removed the empty oxygen tank and put the new one in place but that he was in a rush and didn't check to make sure the hose was connected properly. He said it fell away at some point and your mother died then."

"Christ." The word falls slowly from his lips. "What else?"

I can't delve into the details of what Ben shared about their intimacy because there weren't any beyond her taking him in her mouth. "He said he woke up when your father showed up and smelled marijuana. He said she was gone by then."

"Fuck." His hands race to his face as he stumbles backwards into the chair. "Fuck, no."

"Noah." I reach to grab hold of his hand to steady him but he recoils sharply. His entire body pushes back away from me. "Noah, tell me what's going on."

"Leave." His hand floats into the air between us. "Just go."

I sit in silence for not more than a minute before I pick up my purse and pull myself to my feet. "Do you want me to call Lex? Should I tell her about this?"

His head shakes violently from side-to-side. "Not a word. Don't say anything to her or Ben."

I don’t respond. I turn on my heel and walk quietly towards the door while listening to the dull thud of his fist hitting the table again and again.

"This is the best bridal shower ever." Alexa pulls on my hair causing my head to fly back.

"Shit." I reach to grab my neck. "What the hell, Lex?"

"You're in a horrible mood," she slurs the words into my face. "Have a drink, or two or ten."

She's drunk. She was drunk the moment I arrived and it's only gotten worse in the hour that I've been here. I can't blame her though. This is her celebration. She's carefree and excited about jumping into married life. I, on the other hand, am trying to decipher exactly what happened between Noah and me earlier.

"You were so late." She pats me on the top of the head. "I should send you to the principal's office."

"Teacher jokes?" I smile. "You're actually telling teacher jokes?"

"What can I say?" She shrugs her shoulders causing the drink in her hand to tip to the left.

I reach for it and her, steadying her back on her feet. "You should have some coffee."

"I have the day off tomorrow." She raises the glass high above her head. "I don’t have to think about anything for two whole days."

I'm envious. It's not because she's marrying her life partner and their path together is right there at her feet. I'm jealous that she's so blissfully unaware of what happened earlier. I wish I was oblivious to it as well. "You're lucky," I say it with genuine sincerity.

"You'll find a guy too one day, Kayla." Her hand drifts to my chin. "You're so pretty. You're going to find a man just like Noah who will love you so much."
The irony in her words isn't lost on me. I have found a man who resembles Noah physically but is diametrically different from him in almost every other way. "I know that I will, Lex."

"Maybe you can track Parker down." Her eyes light up. "He loved you once."

I know the intention behind her words isn't to spear through me the way they do. "I don't want to talk about Parker."

"You must miss him." She brings her drink to her lips, emptying it in one large swallow. "That's why you hooked up with Noah's brother, right?"

"I guess it was," I whisper. I don't think about it anymore. It's hard to pull myself back to that airplane and the moment when Ben sat down and we started talking. It was impossible not to notice how attractive he was at first glance. The soft touch of his hand as it brushed against mine when he handed me the glass of water the flight attendant first gave to him, had sent an electric current through me. When he leaned over to comment on how cute the voice of the child sitting behind us was, I'd smelled his cologne. I wanted him then for who he was, not just for the escape his body offered me. I had to move on from Parker's rejection and Ben was the first step.

"You wouldn’t have done it if you knew he who he was, right?"

The question is ripe with expectation. I can't answer it. I wouldn't have cared if he would have given me his entire name that night and I would have connected the dots on the spot. My connection to Ben had nothing to do with Noah. It didn't then and it doesn't now. "I don't know."

"What does that mean?" She plops her ass in the chair next to me. "You would have fucked him even knowing he was Noah's asshole brother?"

The force of the words isn't necessary. She's not speaking from her experiences with Ben. Everything that is coming out of her mouth is a reflection of what she's heard Noah saying. "Don't call him an asshole."

She tosses her head back in wild laughter. Many of the guests at the shower turn to look at us, smiles radiating across their faces. They think we're having fun. They believe I've said something that has pushed Alexa into a place of pure joy. Not one of them can know what's floating between us. "You need to stop defending him, Kayla."

"You need to stop accusing him of things you know nothing about." I bite my lip to try and curb my growing anger. "You only know what Noah has told you."

"What more is there to know?" She slams the glass in her hand down so violently I'm shocked that it doesn't shatter.

This isn't the time. It's sure as hell not the place. I need to stop this now before it becomes the only memory she has of this night. "Nothing, Lex. There's nothing more to know."

She cocks a perfectly sculpted blonde brow. "You're lucky you got away from him before he hurt you too."

I fidget in my seat. My overwhelming need to defend Ben is right there at the surface. "Have fun at your party, Lex."

"I will." She calls over her shoulder before she pulls two women I don't know into a tight embrace.

"Kayla, no. Please no." His hands caress my cheeks. "I'm going to blow my load."

I want that. I've wanted it for days. I need to be close to him, just like this. It's helping rid my mind of the conversation I had with Noah three days ago.

"Fuck," he hisses the word out above me.

I lick harder. My tongue is tracing a ring around the head of his thick cock. My hands are gripping it, slowly stroking it. "You taste so good," I purr as I pull him out of my mouth.

"I need this so much." His hands move to my hair. "You suck me so good."

I do. He doesn’t need to tell me. I can feel it myself in the way his cock jumps when I lick the length of it. I hear it in his groans when my hands cup his heavy balls and squeeze. "I want you to come in my mouth."

He moans loudly. His hips rock into me as his cock swells even more. It's large. I've struggled every time I've taken it into my mouth but my desire to please him overwhelms everything else. I bob my head up and down finding a slow, easy rhythm that draws a low grunt from deep within his body.

"You're so good, Kayla."

I take the approval and run with it. I lean forward sliding more of his glorious cock into my mouth. I'm rewarded with a burst of hot pre cum that slides effortlessly down my throat. I fist him harder, jerking the root in my hand as my lips slide over the head again, and again.

"I'm going to fuck your beautiful mouth."

I whimper at the promise. I brace one hand against the bed, using it to steady myself for the onslaught of thrusts he's about to gift me with. He doesn’t disappoint as his large hands weave deeper into my hair, pulling it at its roots, the momentary burst of pain pooling the desire between my legs.

I'm still dressed. He's completely nude with his head thrown back. "I'm so close."

I want it. I've craved this since he ordered me onto my knees in the shower at the shitty motel. I loved that he took control of me then. I want it still. Knowing that he was taking all of this pleasure from me was making my own body ache for release.

I know the instant he's about to come before his lips betray his need. "Goddammit," he spits it into the air just as the first stream shoots into my mouth. I moan from the taste and from the sounds falling off his beautiful lips. I look up, completely captivated by the sight of him in total ecstasy.

I pull back slightly allowing his desire to flow onto my lips. I lick it all, kissing the tip of his now semi-erect cock as he leans back into the bed.

The silence is thick, the only sound between the two of us the deep groans I'm making, as I taste everything this man has given to me.

***

"I have to catch my breath before I fuck you."

I smile at his desire to please me. I wanted to come so badly when I was on my knees on the floor but now, moments later, as I'm nude and wrapped in his arms, nothing matters but this closeness. I don’t need the orgasm. I'm not chasing the climax, I just want to stay in this space with him and never let go.

"Did you fall asleep?" His lips graze my hair as I rest my cheek against his smooth cheek. "You fell asleep, didn’t you?"

I race my finger around his nipple. "I'm wide awake. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

Noah. Alexa. Samantha. Life.

"Nothing in particular." I opt for the least complicated of all answers. The internal debate that has been pulling at every corner of me since I left Noah's place hasn't quieted itself down at all. I want to tell Ben that I shared intimate details of our conversation with Noah. I need to tell him that. I know I silently promised Noah I wouldn't but he's not the man I'm resting against now. He's not the man I think about virtually the entire day. Ben is and he deserves to know my secrets, just as he's shared his with me.

"Is it about him?" His voice is low and prodding. The question doesn't contain any ambiguity at all. He's asking about Noah.

"Him?" I throw it back at him so I can give myself a moment to think about where to start. Do I explain that Noah brought him up first and in my haste to defend him, I said things about the day their mother died that I shouldn't have? Or is it best to let him lead the conversation so I can gauge how much he's ready to hear? My initial inclination to confess all when I got here was halted when he answered the door completely nude.

"The guy," he begins before swallowing hard. "Your boyfriend."

My boyfriend?  Parker? I'm in Ben's arms, after taking him down my throat and giving him a mind numbing orgasm and he's asking me about Parker? "Are you talking about the man who left me?"

"Yeah." His hand strokes my hair. "That guy."

It's real. He's actually bringing up the man who broke my heart while I'm naked next to him. "Why would we talk about him again?"

He pulls on my arms, coaxing me to look at him. I acquiesce, resting my elbows on his chest. "You seem distant tonight. I guess I just thought it was about him."

"Why would you think that?" I try not to sound as defensive as I feel. The last person I want to discuss with Ben is Parker. "I don't think about him."

"You have to think of him." He pushes a stray hair off my forehead. "We all think about the people we loved every now and again."

"Do you think about the women you love when you're in bed with me?" It may be petulant and biting, but it's a valid question. "Do you do that?"

His hand flies up to ward me off and the gesture only irks me more. "I was just asking why you were quiet."

"I had your cock in my mouth. It's hard to talk when that's going on." I nod my head down the bed.

The corner of his lips dart up. "You did and it was crazy good."

"Don’t ask me about him anymore, Ben." I want to stop the Parker talk in its tracks. I haven't thought about him in days. The last time was when Alexa brought him up at her bridal shower. "I don't think about him."

"You're over him?"

"Completely," I say with conviction. "He's my past. I'm looking to the future."

"Me too, Kayla." He wraps his arms around me. "Me too."