RUIN - Part Two (The RUIN Series Book 2) (7 page)

We’ve sat in silence for the past ten minutes watching children swing and mothers chat. Noah stared off into the distance as I texted with Ben, wishing him a safe trip as he boarded the plane for Boston. I'm grateful that he's away for the next few days. Hearing the details about who Sammy was to Noah has jarred me. I need time to center myself before his brother gets back. I'm eager to talk to him about all of this, but first, I need to hear Noah out.

"How did she end up in bed with Ben?"

He breathes heavily, pulling the air into his lungs. "The day after I told Sammy that I didn't want anything to do with her our mother died."

There's no way the timing is a coincidence. "Why was she at your house?"

"There was a party the night I told her to get lost," he says the words slowly. "It was supposed to be a last hurrah for our graduating class. I'd told her about it weeks before because I wanted her there. I knew Ben wouldn't go. He never partied. He was always studying or hanging out with his girlfriend."

"He went to that party?"

"He did." He nods his head slowly. "His girlfriend was away with her family. She told him to go so he could hang out with his friends. "

"He told me he met Samantha there," I offer even though I'm certain Noah is well aware of every detail.

His hand moves over the edge of the bench, tracing a path along the grain of the wood. "She saw him there. She came on to him. I saw her grinding against him when they were dancing. She was trying to make me jealous."

"Did you tell Ben who she was?"

"I didn't." He looks down at me. "I pulled her outside and told her who he was."

"What did she say?" I cross my legs in an effort to get my body to relax. I feel as though I'm opening a box that contains the key to letting Ben free of all the guilt he's been carrying with him for years.

"She told me that if I wasn't going to fuck her anymore, that she'd fuck him instead."

I push my back into the bench to gain distance from the words. They're harsh. They're almost brutal in their message. "What did you say to her?"

He closes his eyes tightly as he leans forward. "I told her to go right ahead. I said he was second best and always would be."

"She did it to get back at you?"

His mouth thins. "She thought it would hurt me. I didn't take her seriously. I knew Ben was devoted to his girlfriend. They were talking about getting married at some point."

Even though I know that the words were spoken from the mouth of a boy barely old enough to vote they still sting. Thinking about Ben planning a life with a woman he once loved hurts. It also helps place his questions about Parker. He loved a woman the same way I loved him. The promise that first love holds can be so hard to break free from. "What did you say to Ben when you found out about her? When you knew he'd slept with Sammy?"

His eyes rake over my face slowly. I see nothing but intense pain in his gaze. "I've never talked to Ben about it."

"Why?"

"Until you told me that Sammy was the woman he said he was with that day, I thought he was lying, Kayla." His voice is thick and soft. "I thought he was fucking lying about it all."

"About what, Noah?" I reach to grab his arm. "What did you think he was lying about?"

"He wouldn’t tell anyone the name of the woman he said he was with that day." He drops his head into his hands. "We all assumed he couldn't give a name because he was lying. My father and I never believed a woman was actually there."

"What?" I bark the word into his face. "Why would he hide the fact that he slept with her?"

"Kayla." He grabs my hand. "My father sat with Ben in the guesthouse for more than an hour before he brought him back to the main house."

I pull on his hand, trying to lodge free all the answers I need. "Just tell me, Noah. Please. None of this is making any sense to me."

"I was alone in that house for so long." His hand is free of mine now and resting against his lips. "I had to call someone."

"Why didn’t you just go down to the guesthouse to see Ben?" I already know the answer to that. Noah was fuming with anger over his mother's death. The last thing he wanted was to look at Ben.

"I couldn't do it." He fists his hand against his thigh. "I was in shock. I didn't want to leave my mother's side. I knew the coroner was coming to get her and I couldn't let her go."

"I'm sorry, Noah." I offer to try and center him again. "I'm so sorry you lost her."

"I fucked up so badly, Kayla." His eyes fill with tears. "I've fucked everything up."

"What are you talking about?" I reach to grab his hand again. "Please just tell me."

"When my father brought Ben up to the main house to talk to the police she was already there."

"Your mother was still there?" I try to string together all the disjointed things he's throwing at me. "You were still sitting with your mother then?"

"No." He pants the word out. "No."

"What then?" I'm weighted with so much anxiety I'm fearful my heart is going to stop beating. "Just tell me what was going on in that house."

"Ben walked in. He was clinging to my father. He was crying." Noah's voice cracks as tears start flowing down his cheeks. "He was talking about a woman. He kept saying that she saw him attach the oxygen tank. She was there when he did it and my father could ask her if he wanted. He kept repeating that he was sorry."

I nod. I can picture a younger version of Ben broken from the knowledge that his mother had just died. "He felt so badly, Noah."

"When he finally looked up…" his voice stops. "Kayla, when he finally looked up he stared right at her."

"Who?" I spit the word out.

"I called her over because there was no one else. I couldn't sit there alone anymore."

"Who? Noah tell me who."

"Sammy." He stares right at me. "I fucking called her over to help me deal with my mother's death."

I can't wrap my brain around what he's telling me. None of it fits into what Ben has shared with me. "Samantha was there? Ben saw her with you?"

"I told him she was my girlfriend." He throws his head back and I see the thick vein in his neck pulsing out a beat. "I fucking told my brother that the woman he just lost his virginity to was my fucking girlfriend."

"What did Ben do? What did Sammy say?"

His hands leap to his face. "Ben fell on the floor. He fell on the floor and cried and she just fucking stood there with her mouth shut."

"She didn't tell you about Ben?" I push the question out through a sob. "She didn't tell you she slept with him?"

He turns so swiftly that I almost fall off the side of the bench. "She didn't say a word."

"Why didn't Ben tell you?" It doesn’t make sense. All Ben had to do was confess to Noah that he'd slept with Sammy that day. It would have lifted the cloud of uncertainty about his role in his mother's death. It would have given his story the witness that he needed.

"He was trying to protect me." He pulls himself up from the bench. "My little brother was trying to protect my feelings and he ruined his life to do it."

"You're in Boston?" Alexa's voice carries through my phone. "Why the hell are you there? It's not your family is it? Is someone sick?"

I stare out the window of the taxi I hopped into as soon as I exited the airport. "No." I need to level my voice. "It's not that. I'm here to see a friend."

"You're coming back tomorrow, right?" She pauses. "I mean I need some help with some wedding stuff. I'm flipping out Kayla. There's still a lot to do."

"I'll be there," I say it with conviction. Noah and I had ridden the subway back to my place after our talk. He wanted to see Ben in person and when I told him he was in Boston, we mutually agreed that I should come here to ease Ben into the idea of sitting down for a discussion with Noah. I'm here to do just that. The added bonus of enjoying the look of surprise on his face when he sees me is making my heart beat faster.

"You should pick up your damage deposit while you're there." I can hear the distant tapping of her fingers against something. "I forgot to remind you to call your old landlord last week. Now that you're there in person, you can pick it up."
"That's a great idea, Lex." I stare out the window as we race through the streets of the city I've called home most of my life. "You're tapping your fingers on your desk, aren't you?"

The rhythmic background noise stops. "It's a stressful day. I'm in the school on a Saturday grading papers when I should be out doing things for the wedding."

"Focus on work today, Lex." I breathe deeply. "I'll be back tomorrow and we'll tackle all the wedding stuff as a team. You, me and Sadie."

"Okay." I hear the trepidation in her tone. She's definitely not going to concentrate on anything but whether her special day will go off without a hitch.

"I need to go. I'll call you as soon as I'm back in New York."

"You better." She laughs as she ends the call.

***

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but you're mistaken." The burly man behind the desk doesn’t even look at me as he repeats the same phrase for the third time.

"I don't think I am," I say even though I'm certain that he's right. I've been standing in the lobby of this hotel in Times Square for the past ten minutes. This is the third person I've asked about the medical conference that is supposed to be taking place here. Not one of them has any clue about what I'm talking about.

His eyes dart over the counter to peer directly at me. "Let me make a few calls and I'll see if I can locate the right hotel for you."

I nod. I should be more appreciative. I check the log of my text messages again comparing the name of the hotel Ben told me he'd be at to the name on the wall behind the check-in desk. They are definitely one in the same.

I stare down at my phone when I feel it vibrate in my hand.

"Hey, Noah," I say with ease. "How are you?"

"Good." His voice is curt and restrained. "Have you talked to him yet?"

I smile at how eager he is to smooth things over with Ben. It's been what I'd hoped for since I realized the struggle that the two of them have faced all these years. "I just landed an hour ago. I'm at the hotel he said the conference was at, but he's not here."

"Maybe he's at his apartment."

The fact that Ben told me he keeps an apartment in Boston completely slipped my mind. I'm certain that I can track him down there at some point today. "I should call him and tell him I'm here."

"I've got the address if you want it."

"Of course I want it."

***

I feel like I'm chasing a phantom around the streets of Boston. After listening to the desk clerk back at the hotel tell me that he couldn’t find any details about a medical conference in the city, I'd left with the address Noah gave me for Ben's place.

It was an upscale condo complex with a doorman who didn't know where to draw the line. The man was a flirt, and given his age, I'd guess that he had perfected the art of seduction during his very long tenure as the doorman of that building. It took more than forty-five minutes for me to get through a simple series of questions about whether Ben was actually in the building. The overly attentive doorman had spent more time asking me about my past boyfriends than he had telling me where Ben was. At the end of what felt like an awkward date in the lobby of the building, he confessed that Ben hadn't been to the apartment in weeks. He even showed me the stack of mail that he'd been collecting for him.

I'm beginning to question whether I heard him correctly when he said he was coming to Boston. I pull my smartphone out of my purse and call his number. I mutter a curse word under my breath when it goes straight to voicemail. At this point, the excitement of surprising Ben has been replaced with frustration. I leave a short, curt message telling him it's important.

I walk out onto the street, waving for a taxi. I debate sending Ben a text message. I'm not even sure what I'd say.

Instead I slide into the backseat of the first taxi that stops, give the driver the address of where I used to live and stare at my phone, willing Ben to call me back.

"You owe me that money." I tap my hand against the doorjamb of what my old landlord calls his office. It's actually a small linen closet he has a wooden chair sitting in that faces an old television set.

"I'm not giving you back that money." His eyes don't leave the screen. From the sounds emanating from it, he's watching an old western.

I try to take a step closer to him but there's literally no room to move. "I moved out a long time ago. You actually owe me the full damage deposit plus interest."

He actually spits the tobacco he's been chewing onto the floor at my feet. "You still live there."

The man is living in a different universe than the rest of us. "I live in New York City. I told you I was moving there."

"Your husband still lives there then." Again, with the tobacco. This time he clears my left shoe by no more than a quarter of an inch.

"I don't have a husband." Christ. He must have rented the place to another couple and forgot.

He finally turns to look at me. A grin pulls over his mouth to reveal yellowed, chipped teeth. "Parker. His shit is still up there so move it out. If you do that, I'll give you your cash."

"Why didn't you move it out yourself?" I search aimlessly through my cluttered purse hoping I still have the keys to this apartment. I planned to mail them back after I raced out of Boston in a hurry.  I had texted Parker the day I left to tell him to come back to get the few things he'd left behind.

"He's still renting the place." His attention is back on the television. "Your husband gave me checks for a year when you moved in. I cash one a month."

I feel a surge of pleasure knowing that Parker is still paying for the apartment even though he left right before I did. Our deal was simple. I paid the damage deposit, Parker paid the rent and I covered food and incidentals. It seems like I'm at least coming out on top over this.

"I'll be right back with his stuff." I wave the apartment keys in my hand. "Then you'll give me my money?"

"You bet, toots."

I turn on my heel and head straight for the elevator. Maybe this trip to Boston isn't a complete waste of my time.

***

I run my hands along the arm of the suit jacket he wore when he met me at the airport the day I came running back into his arms. He'd planned an entire celebratory day for me. He picked me up after my flight arrived wearing the one and only suit he owned. He drove me to a building we always talked about living in and as we rode up to the roof in the elevator, he'd leaned over and kissed me. All of the hope and promise that I wanted to see in my future was in Parker's kiss that day. I'd held tight to him as we stood on the roof, staring at the sun setting on the city we both loved. We'd made love in the small apartment he was renting and then the next day we found this place. It wasn't much bigger but it was our home. We moved in immediately, charted the course of our live together and then weeks later he stopped loving me.

I move away from the closet and look at the dresser. The apartment had come furnished and we each only had two drawers to store our things in. I open mine and they still sit empty and bare just as they were when I packed up my things and fled the city.

I open Parker's expecting to see the same, but there are black socks and several pairs of boxer briefs neatly folded in the corner. I close the drawer slowly grabbing the pull for the next and sliding it open. T-shirts are sitting there, all folded to the perfection, an outward sign of Parker's incessant need to be organized. I reach to touch one and my hand stops as it grazes over a lump beneath the fabric.

I know I should close it. It's obvious that the landlord was right and Parker is back living here. I'm intruding on his personal space. The right thing to do is to leave my key by the door and walk out before he walks in. I can't stop myself though as images of the life I could have had wash over me in a heated rush. I feel my throat burn as I reach under the t-shirt to pull out a small, square box.

I almost drop it. I know what's inside before I open the lid. My eyes close as they settle on the beautiful solitaire diamond ring that we admired together in the jewelry store window after our first dinner out together when I came back to Boston. I told Parker it was what my dreams were made of and he turned me towards him and whispered that he wanted to make all those dreams come true. He told me then that he couldn’t afford the ring. Staring down at in my palm I know that he bought the ring and then broke my heart.

I reach for the side of the dresser to balance not only my feet but also, all of my emotions. I don't know why I came back here. This is my past. Regardless of what hidden treasures lie beneath the cover of Parker's things, the truth came spilling out of his mouth. He didn't want me anymore. I don't want him now. My future is in New York.

I close the box slowly after studying the ring for a minute more. I move the t-shirt aside just as I hear the unmistakable sound of his key in the lock.

This apartment is small. There's no window ledge to stand on like they do in the movies when caught in a space they no longer belong. I belonged here once. This was my home. I just need to walk out there and tell Parker why I'm here. I have to face him. I have to do it. There's no other choice.

I take a step forward when I hear the voices. It's not just one; there are two. Both are male. One is distinctively deeper than the other.

"I want to call her every day." That's Parker. I know his voice. I've known it since we were teenagers desperately in love.

"You can't. We had a deal." I know that voice too. I've heard it before. It's deep and melodic. It's strong.

There's silence and then the shuffle of shoes against the hardwood floor. I inch closer to the doorway of the bedroom. "I wish I hadn't taken the money. She's worth more than that."

Parker took someone's money for something. This isn't a conversation he'd want me to overhear. I have no right to still be listening to this.

"You took it, Parker. You can't undo it."

I reach for the wall to stop myself from falling forward. I'm hearing things now. I know that I am. In my rush to find Ben I forgot to eat anything. I'm lightheaded and my mind is playing tricks on me.

"I want this to be over. I want to know when I can have her back." Parker's voice is strained. I hear the anxiety in it.

"She's getting through to my brother. I've been following her. She's met him a few times now. As soon as he lets me back into his life, she's all yours."

She's all yours.

The words float through my mind as I step into the hallway.

I clear my throat, rest my hand against the wall and stare straight at Parker and Ben as they turn to look at me.