Scared of Forever (Scared #2) (21 page)

“So I suppose,” she
continues, “that it’s easy for you to pass judgment on others,
but very difficult to admit your own shortcomings. Good, bad, or
indifferent, you slept with your brother’s fiancée. Because you
are impulsive and rash, relishing your
freedom
.
And you justify your wrong actions in the name of love and passion.
But how long before you leave here again, running away because
everything is getting a little too hard?” Eliza stares at me,
unblinking.

“You know why I left
the last time,” I say through gritted teeth.

“Why, because you
felt so passionately for your cousin Chayse? Because he went to jail,
and your brother didn’t?”

“Because you sold him
out, just like you sold Emily out!” I yell back.

“She is better with
Blake. Blake will give her stability. And for someone who has no one,
that’s what she needs. And if you had any common sense, or a
practical bone in your body, you would see that leaving well enough
alone is best for all concerned. You included.”

“How is leaving her
better for me?” I ask.

“Because, contrary to
what they tell you in the movies, love is
not
enough. Your father and I were in love once. That doesn’t mean that
he comes home to me every night. I’d be lucky if he comes home once
a month. It is what it is. If she accepts it, why should you care?
She knows what she’s getting herself into.”

“I knew coming here
was a bad idea,” I say dejectedly. “I had hoped to appeal to your
human side, but apparently you don’t have one!” I storm back out
the door, slamming it hard in my wake. Leaving Eliza Carson staring
after me. I don’t know what I had hoped to achieve with my visit,
but from it I got nothing but more angry.

I fly through traffic,
weaving in and out of cars
.
Acting a fucking fool, acting recklessly
. That’s really
what everyone thinks of me.
Eliza
is right
. I do run, far away from the amoral behavior of
my family. There’s nothing left for me here. I’m sure as fuck not
sticking around to watch Emily stand in a church and marry the demon
seed himself. I can barely stand the thought, let alone witness the
sight. This time, running away is not a choice. As far as I’m
concerned, it’s the only option. Necessity. And it’s also the
best thing for Emily. The only way she’ll be able to process her
own guilt is if she doesn’t have to be constantly reminded of it by
seeing its source.

When the plane takes
off into the horizon, an unsubtle sadness envelopes me. I order
copious amounts of alcohol in the hopes of forgetting the fucking
travesty of leaving Emily. It doesn’t work.

I’ve spent the whole
day driving. I’ve driven out to the Hamptons and back. Now I’m
driving towards Long Island. I have no idea where I’m going. I’m
seeing things from a whole new perspective. Jules, the bitch that she
is, sent me a smiley face accompanied by a
nice
knowing you
message in response to my impromptu
resignation. Maybe I’m not as memorable as I thought.

I decide to swing by
and visit Chayse next. It’s been over two weeks since I last saw
him. It’s unusual, because he usually seeks me out at the hospital.
So either he no longer works there, or he’s just avoiding me.
Would
make sense
. It is, after all, piss on Blake week.

I run up the shabby
carpeted stairs to his apartment and knock. I hear shuffling.
“Chayse, open up!” I yell.

Chayse opens the door,
and my smile disappears when I see the murderous glare he shoots me.
“What the fuck do you want, Blake?”

“Chayse?” I say,
confused. “Is everything okay?”

Before I can even
react, Chayse pushes me back, his heavy arms pinning me to the wall,
his forearm choking me. I struggle, but he’s strong, and he’s
pissed. “What’s
wrong
,
Blake? How about we talk about the accident? Anything you may want to
tell me?” He looks ready to kill.

“I don’t know what
you’re talking about?” I defend weakly.

Chayse releases me in
enough time to swing a right hook, landing it square across my lower
jaw. I recoil and barely have enough time to duck before his fist
flies into my face again.

“Wanna talk now?”
Chayse spits. “I’ll fucking start. I did a little research. I
read the tox screen at the hospital. Ice, fucking sedatives, alcohol.
You let me put Hannah in a car with you, and you were that fucking
high! And drunk! I knew you were angry. I knew you were tipsy. But
fuck! You never thought to mention that you were too fucked up to see
straight?”

“I don’t remember!”
I yell, grabbing at straws in my defense.

“Yes you do, Blake,”
Chayse growls, still holding me tightly by the collar. I know better
than to swing at Chayse. He won’t relent, won’t stop if I do.
And
he’ll probably kill me.

“And that was just
the fucking tox screen. Imagine my surprise when I read the police
report that you filed. I was driving? Is that why I went to jail?
Because I was fucking driving! I wondered why the sentence was handed
down after only one court appearance.”

“I had nothing to do
with that!”

“Your signature is on
the bottom of the statement. I gave a statement, too. Except my
statement never made it into the case file. Neither did
your
drug test. Not the original one, anyway. I’m sure that the Carson
family would just love to be embroiled in a scandal. Did she pay off
the judge, or the DA? How did Eliza Carson get the fucking golden boy
out of this? Do you even give a fuck about anyone other than
yourself?”

I don’t answer. I
stare stonily ahead, not man enough to meet Chayse’s eyes. Not
daring to challenge him.

“You killed Hannah!”
he yells. “Your selfish, reckless fucking behavior killed the girl
I loved. I swear to God, you will pay for this. Not by my hand. But
for all the shit you do, I’ll let karma fucking handle your ass. I
spent a year in jail, doing time behind bars and trapped inside my
own fucking head. I relived her death over and over, in nightmare
after motherfucking nightmare! I hope you live every day of the
future knowing that you’ll never be able to wash Hannah’s blood
off your hands!”

Chayse walks into the
apartment and slams the door behind him. The light fixture rattles
above. I sink against the wall and crouch, my head in my hands. When
karma does come for me, it can’t be much scarier than a murderous
Chayse.

Resolutely, I drive
over to Aria’s place. It’s after seven pm, so I text Emily to
tell her I’m busy.
Not that
I’m coming home soon
. Just that I’m busy. My jaw
aches, and I can still taste the coppery tinge of blood in my mouth.

Aria opens the door and
stares at my lip. She walks towards me and gently touches it. I don’t
lean into her. I just walk inside.
I
must look like shit
. I feel even worse.

“What happened,
Bake?” she asks quietly.

“
Hmm
,”
I laugh. “Where should I start? Oh, you leaving me. Emily acting
weird. Chayse finding out about the accident.” I point to my face
and laugh manically. “Oh, and I quit my job by text. For you. And
before the day is over, I’ll probably kill my kid brother.”

“No, you won’t,”
Aria says simply.

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because he isn’t
the problem. You trying to be someone that you aren’t is,” Aria
answers. “And you should go, because I don’t do pity parties like
this one.”

“What the hell is
your problem? Are you still mad? Because I hit Tyler?” I ask
angrily. “Why is everyone so fucking protective over that little
asshole?”

“No, you hate Tyler
because Tyler exposes everything that you aren’t. He’s kind, and
loyal, and unselfish. And you hate standing side by side with him for
that reason.”

I recoil from her
touch, hurt by her words. She reaches for my arm.

“I have to be selfish
too. All or nothing. I deserve better than this.” She stares at me
with sad eyes.

“Aria, the only
person who truly makes me happy is you. I know that. Two years
together, and the only time I have felt real freedom is in your arms.
I could never love Emily the way I love you. But I have choices that
I can’t ignore.”

“Let’s make your
choice easier,” a familiar voice says from the doorway. I spin to
see Emily standing there, tears streaming down her face. I’m
stunned, so shocked that I just stand there, slack-jawed. I have no
idea what to say. Or who to speak to first. I look towards Aria, and
she takes a step back. The look she gives me says unmistakably,
handle this, or else
.

“Emily—” I take a
step towards her. She leaps back, arms raised furiously out from her
chest.

“Don’t touch me!”
she screams, angry unshed tears in her eyes. “Don’t ever come
near me again!”

“Emily, just listen!”
I shout in frustration.

“I have been,” she
says as she shakes her head, tears streaming down her face. “How
could you? How could you lie to me? I feel so stupid! And Tyler, he
was telling the truth! The only one who did. And I treated
him
like the liar!”

“Tyler?” I
question.
Of course the little
fucker has something to do with this.

Emily addresses Aria
directly. “Has he told you he loves you? Wants to be with you
forever? Doesn’t want anyone but you? Because he also told me all
of those things. Contrary to what he’s telling you, the role he
played as my fiancée was not for the sake of mere convenience. Ask
him in front of me.”

“You don’t know
me,” Aria says coldly. “And you really don’t know Blake,
either. You never did. The person you saw was only a small glimpse of
the man he is with me. Go away, little girl. You never could
compete.”

Emily takes a step
forward and in one swift motion, lands a resounding slap against my
cheek, right on the spot where Chayse punched me. Pain erupts in my
jaw like a motherfucker.

She turns to Aria. “You
can have him,” she says venomously. “Please, take him away from
me. Did you think I was going to hit you?” She glares at her. “I’m
not even going to call you a fucking name. You know why? Because this
piece of shit is not worth fighting over. And hell will freeze the
fuck over before I ever raise my hands to fight over a man!”

I stand still, immersed
in the eye of one phenomenal shit storm.

“And you!” she
yells, turning to face me, pointing a menacing finger. “How fucking
dare you? You don’t love either of us, do you, Blake? You are the
worst kind of person. You know why? Because you lie with a straight
fucking face!”

She turns on her heel
to walk off, but rethinks the decision and turns again to face me.

“By the way,” she
says. “I fucked your brother, at your mother’s charity event. And
then the next day. I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. And just
for the record, he made me scream like you never could!”

With that, she turns
and walks out, slamming the door behind her as she leaves. My vision
turns scarlet as I think of Tyler’s hands on my fiancée.
Or
ex- fiancée
. He’d better be gone by now, because if he
isn’t, I’ll fucking kill him.

“So,” Aria says
from the far wall. “Now that Emily is gone, there are no more
obstacles. I know your mother hates me. But if you love me, you have
a clear choice to make. Choosing to be with me is exclusive this
time. You have enough money for us to start over far away from here.”

“You don’t
understand, Aria,” I say, rubbing my temples in frustration.
“Without Eliza, I am broke, no money, nothing.” I stopped
thinking about Emily the minute she left. But I’m also losing the
clarity I started out with this morning, in light of all that has
happened today.

I stare at Aria. I
quickly take in her bold stance, determined eyes, and fierce body.
But spending my life immersed in her means that I sacrifice
everything else. Career, reputation, money, family.
Everything.

“I love you,” I
say, not quite meeting her eyes. “But the truth is Aria, you aren’t
enough. I’m sorry.”

I turn and walk out the
door. Just as I reach the doorway, a glass shatters into the frame.
Millimeters from my head. I guess this means I’m not welcome here
anymore.