Scarred Hearts (Blackrock) (20 page)
It looks cold outside so I grab a coat out of my roller bag and walk down to the lake, we have wooden furniture down here for the summer months but dad just leaves it all year. Stepping over to the lake I pour a shot of Jack into the water, "That is for you Summer I am so mad at you for leaving me, I pour another one, That's for you nan I hope you and grandpa are together again, I love you all, cheers" I say raising the bottle to my lips, I feel the burn of the liquid in my mouth, closing my eyes as the tears come again, I am so sick of crying but the tears seem to come of their own accord.
I drink about a quarter of the bottle when I hear someone walking up behind me, great I am going to be attacked and murdered just my luck. I turn around to see Knox standing there, we look at each other for a few minutes without speaking, turning my back I look at the lake and continue drinking. He stops beside me, I offer him the bottle but he shakes his head no, shrugging my shoulders I take another mouthful. "Bailey, Are you ok?" he asks, I huff out a breath "Fucking great, thanks for asking" he steps in front of me looking into my eyes "Then where have you been all week, I have been up here a few times. I know you think I was having dinner with Red but I wasn't I swear" he has pleading in his eyes.
"I don't give a crap Knox, about you and Red. I didn't leave town because of you," I snap at him. He is still using a soft voice "Then can you tell me what's going on?" I take another swig of Jack "Why, why do you even care? You hardly know me" He sighs, "I can see something is going on with you" I snort, "Yeah, I am happy for you. You don't know shit" He looks at me for a few minutes deciding what to say, Jack and I are in a good relationship right now, he is my friend, numbing me from the inside out. "I know that you are crying, which tells me you are upset and you are swinging out of that bottle of Jack like it's the last drink you will ever have"
He grabs the bottle from my hand throwing it into the lake, "Talk to me Bailey, please" "Talk! Really, you want me to talk" I shout, he just stands there looking at me like I am a scared child, maybe in someway I am. I can feel the blackness within me turning my words bitter as I shout at him "Fine, my best friend killed herself, I move here to get away from the drama and try to get my life back together. But no, drama follows me in the form of some red head freak who insists on talking shit every time she sees me. I meet a really great guy who asks me to be his only hours later pulls a 180 on me. Then I go to apologize to said guy only to see him, wait now this is a good part, to see him having dinner with pyscho bitch.
So I think to myself, fine he doesn't want me, sure why would he? Obviously I am fucked up. Then I decide to go spend the day with my nan cause at least I know she is one person who truly loves me. I leave her at four o'clock because she tells me to go fight for the guy I want and explain stuff to him, only to get a phone call a few hours later to say she died after I left" it all came out in one breath and I can feel my anger pounding my heart through my chest, tears are flowing but I go on. Knox is still standing there expressionless looking at me.
"So I drive through the night back to that fucking nightmare of a town I grew up in, my parents are there of course. We bury my nan then my mom flips out, she accused me of not loving anyone but myself because I wouldn't move back home. She kicked me out of her house and told me never to come back" I am breathing hard and can hardly talk through the sobs ripping through my soul, "Why do all the good things in my life get ripped away from me?"
Knox lifts me up into his arms and sits on the Chaise lounge by the lake, he holds me close as I cry onto his shoulder "It's ok Darlin, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere" he kisses my temple rocking me back and forth "I am so sorry Bailey, I wish you would have called me, I would have gone home with you, I swear I would have. I am here for you always, I promise Bailey I am not going anywhere" I cry hard onto his shoulder. He starts to sing softly in my ear and I close my eyes, the last thing I remember is his beautiful voice and his rainforest cologne lulling me into a blissful state while Jack numbs my pain.
I open my eyes, looking up I see a ceiling. My head is pounding I look to my left and see I am in my room how did I get here? Turning to my right I see Knox lying there on my bed. My eyes pop open, Crap what have I done? Raising my head I look down and sigh in relief, we are both still dressed in last night's clothes, his arm is across my stomach pinning me down.
I try to move but he stirs awake, we both sit up in the bed, I watch as he runs his hands through his hair "Mornin" he says looking at me "Hi" I croak out "How did we get in hear?" he smiles "I carried you after you fell asleep" I nod "Thanks" I get out of bed, take off my coat and hang it up in the closet. I come back out, he is still sitting on the bed "Hey about last night, I meant everything I said Bailey. I am not going anywhere you're stuck with me now" he spreads his hands and smiles at me.
"Thanks, I need to take a shower I feel disgusting" he gets off the bed "sure I'll head home" I reach out my hand "No, I want to talk to you. The guest bathroom is next door; there are new toothbrushes and towels in there. Help yourself, I will meet you in the kitchen in ten" "Sure" he nods walking out of my room.
I grab a Nickelback t-shirt that I got at one of their concerts, it's a men's large so I slept in a few times. I knock on the bathroom door "Hey Knox" when he opens the door my jaw hits the floor. He is shirtless standing there, his abs are cut into a beautiful six pack, my eyes travel over every inch of him, his muscles ripped and tattoos, I guess he wasn't lying about having a collection. My eyes travel to his arm leaning on the door above his head my mouth gets dry "See something you like darlin?" I snap my eyes back to his; he is standing there with a smirk on his face and a toothbrush in his hand.
I hold out the t-shirt "Here, it's a men's large, I only wore it to bed a few times. It's washed." He takes it from my hand brushing his fingers off mine, I shiver from his touch, then pull myself together I look up to see him smiling at me "Um ok see you in a minute" I say heading back to my room with my heart pounding.
I jump into the shower and wash my hair in record time; I don't think I even let the water get fully hot before I was done. My heart is beating fast just remembering his body; I can feel an ache begin to grow deep between my legs. Oh man how am I going to get through this. I grab a black tank and my black yoga pants, towel dry my hair, which is pointless it's so long its takes hours to dry naturally, I throw it into a ponytail and blow dry the ends for a few minutes.
Racing down the stairs to the kitchen I can smell coffee, I walk in to see him sitting at the table "Hey, I made coffee but there is no milk. I hope the vanilla is ok because that's what I made for you" he points to the cup on the table opposite him. Sitting down I take a mouthful, "Thanks and yes the vanilla is mine" he smiles. I look him over; the t-shirt fits him everywhere it tips him, clinging to his well-defined body. "Does the shirt fit ok?" I ask smiling. He looks down at himself "What do you think?" I laugh "I think its perfect" shrugging his shoulders he says "That's all that matters".
We finished our coffee in silence; I need to talk about everything with him. I decide to start "Knox, I wanted to talk to you about what happen on the phone with Roger" he shakes his head "You don't have to, I told you I trust you but I acted like an ass, so I am the one who should be explaining" "No please, I want to. I want to you to know I would never hurt you" I say, "Ok if you insist, but you really don't have to"
"Roger is my friend, he is like a brother to me and Summer. When he came to our school four years ago Summer adopted him, he was a big dork. We gave him a makeover and created a Franken-whore" I say laughing "He was getting noticed by all the girls and well you know how that goes, but he always stayed friends with Summer and I. The three of us would hang out together, go partying, the movies all that stuff. We were like brother and sisters, I think we all got along so well is because we are all an only child, now that Summer is gone I am the only sister he has and he is the only brother I have. I love him and he will always be in my life, I can't just cut him out"
Knox nods "I get it, you guys are close. That's fine with me honestly" I smile at him. Now your turn I say joking, I see his face grow a little pale "Eh" He says rubbing his jaw "Shit Bailey, I want to tell you but" I cut him off "It's ok, I was just joking. You can tell me what ever it is when you are ready no pressure" He relaxes "I will tell you, Just give me time. The wounds are still fresh"
I get up off my chair and walk over to him, holding his face in my hands "I am here when you are ready and I am sorry for being such a bitch last night" he pulls me onto his lap kissing me tenderly on the mouth. "Can I ask you again?" he says looking into my eyes, I furrow my brow "Ask me what?" "Will you go steady with me Bailey" he says with a smile, I laugh at him "you're a ding dong" I nod in agreement and kiss him back. Our kisses start off slow and tender quickly gaining speed and pressure, tongues dance together, Knox rubs up and down my ribs. Oh My, who knew that was an erogenous zone, I tangle my hands in his hair scratch his scalp, I hear a deep groan come from him and he repositions me lower on his legs, Just as things are getting carried away my phone starts to ring.
We both pull away, our hearts pounding in sync with one another. I can see the desire in his eyes, my phone keeps ringing. I nip his lower lip and answer "Hello" Knox begins to kiss my neck just below my ear. "Hi sweetheart, just wanted to see if you are ok?" "Oh" I say breathlessly "Are you ok Bailey?" I snap out of the fog caused by Knox and cough "Yeah dad sorry I am ok" I tell him, I try to push off Knox but he pulls me back down with my back to his chest and starts kissing a trail from my ear to my shoulder, I can hardly concentrate on what dad is saying "Bailey, did you hear me? Are you ok? Do I need to come home?" I jump off Knox this time.
"No dad I'm fine, sorry. You don't need to come home I am fine" "Ok I just wanted to check, you know your mother didn't mean what she said yesterday. I think it was just the grief talking" he says, I instantly tense up, Knox notices my mood change and questions me with his eyes "Dad look, mom has said some pretty nasty stuff to me over the last two years, but last night she meant what she said I know her tone of voice. She has never spoken to me with such venom before" I rub my hand up and down the back of my neck I can feel the muscles getting tense. "Bailey I don't think she meant it just gives her a few days to calm down"
Walking over to the window putting my back to Knox, I can feel my finger nails digging into my palm closing my eyes I count to three before I answer him "Yeah dad, I'll give her a few days, no problem" I feel Knox's strong arms circle my waist, I lean back into him finding support against his chest. "Ok Bailey, let me know how you get on with her. I am heading back to DC now. We are on time so I will be home for Thanksgiving" "Ok dad fly safe, love you"
"Love you too" I hang up the phone and throw it onto the window seat.
"Everything ok?" Knox asks while nuzzling my ear "No, he wants me to call my mom in a few days" Knox turns me to face him "It will work out, just give it time" he says between little kisses on my lips. I smile up at him "How did I get to have you? When my life is in the toilet" He squeezes me tighter to him "I dunno but I am sure glad you did" he says resting his chin on top of my head. We stand this way for a while just enjoying being in each other's arms. He steps back and yawns, I laugh at him "Tired?" I reach up to rub the side of his face as he nods "Yeah I suppose I should go, get some sleep and a shower"
I check my watch, "It's already one thirty" I tell him. "Yeah? Max will cover until six for me so I can get a rest. We walk outside to his bike, "What are you going to do today?" he asks getting on his motorcycle, "I think I'll go for a run around the lake, get some sleep myself. I have a hot date tonight" I wink at him. He pulls me closer giving me a hug "Yes you do darlin" he says then kisses me until my toes curl "That is just a teaser to your hot date" he smiles putting on his helmet.
He starts the bike while walking it backwards, he turns it then waves at me. He is driving really slowly up to the gate; I know he is looking in his mirror at me. When he reaches the gate he stops, putting his feet down I wave to make sure he can see me, he waves back still looking in the mirror so I lift up my tank top really quickly and pull it down flashing him. He jumps up and looks over his shoulder, I run into the house laughing my ass off. I hear him pull out onto the road then send him a text.
Me: That is just a teaser to your HOT date!!!
I go get changed into my running gear still laughing. Oh man I will be in so much trouble later. I head out for my six mile run but today I am smiling. When I return I find two new texts.
Paige: want to grab dinner tonight?
Knox: What the fuck? You play dirty darlin
I laugh out loud at his text. While replying to Paige, telling her I will meet her at Tangs Chinese restaurant at seven. I decide to have a spa day; it's been a very long time since I had one. Running the bath I pour in some essential bath oils and bubble bath, I light some scented candles. I plug in my iPod to my sound dock choosing an Irish band called Westlife. I lower myself into the bubbles and sink lower enjoying the feeling lying there brings me back to last Valentines day. Summer and I had our spa day on that Saturday, we did each other's hair and makeup, chatting about where we were going on our surprise dinner dates. She wanted to double date but I said no, only because I didn't want to spend the night listening to Ben. I smile at the memory feeling happy instead of sad, I know Summer would love Knox which makes me smile more.
After my long soak I slather on my favorite body crème, letting it dry I dance around my room I have a look through my nail polish and decide on a French manicure. After my nails dry, I have some coffee and toast. It is five o'clock now so I have to slow down in my preparations.