Second Rate Chances (13 page)

             
“I don’t understand,” Sam said quietly.

             
Kane exhaled a long breath. “She has to relive the nightmare a second time. In telling you what happened, she has to think about it all over again, with no chance of hearing your side of the story. There won’t be a chance for you to explain why you left the way you did, because you don’t remember ever leaving her to begin with.

             
“Give her time. She will tell you and when she does, she’s going to need you. Don’t walk away from her like you did the first time. I know none of this makes sense to you now, but just know that it’s going to be really hard for her.”

             
Sam couldn’t imagine what he could have done that would hurt Lil a second time to talk about it. Not to mention, never explaining to her why he left. They weren’t the kind of couple that hid things from each other. They talked things through, they worked them out. It was why they had been together for so long. Nothing got between them, only something major had.

             
As the night wore on, the three of them sat at the table, rehashing old stories and laughing like the past three years hadn’t separated them. In the back of Sam’s mind all he could think about was how he had apparently broken Lil’s heart. What scared him was the fear of it happening again.

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SECOND RATE CHANCES

CHAPTER 14

Lil decided that for tree picking one had to have on a practical outfit. Proper walking shoes, a heavy coat, perhaps even a hat to keep the chill off of her head. As she turned and looked at the mess of clothes that lay on her bed, she wondered why she had just about every article she owned off its hanger and thrown on her bed. It didn't matter what she wore. She was helping Sam pick out a Christmas tree as part of his therapy, and possibly even hers.

So why, she wondered, was her cable knit sweater dress and thigh high boots amongst the clutter? Why was the low cut red top that she only wore when Ellie forced her to wear it also mixed in? What she needed was a baggy sweater, her UGGS, and just a simple hat. It shouldn't be that hard. But it was.

             
Sam had called that morning, asking if he could pick her up at seven o’clock. It was far from a date, but the butterflies in her stomach and the jitters made it feel like one.

             
A knock on the door resounded as Lil rushed to throw on her snow boots.

             
She walked to the door, smoothing down her hair which meant tucking stray strands behind each of her ears. With a deep breath, she opened the door to find Sam on the other side, a smug smile on his face. It really was a crime to be so pretty, she thought. He was dressed in a black sweater she could see from the opening of his gray pea coat. His jeans were dark denim distressed, not from all of the wear but because he had no doubt bought them that way. This wasn't the Sam she had known and seeing him dressed like this helped her keep that thought in her head. This was Chloe's Sam with all of his expensive, designer duds. When her gaze drifted to his feet, she silently cursed. Of course he couldn't pair a Banana Republic outfit with the right pair of shoes. That would be too much for the Sam she no longer knew. No, this Sam, the small part of the Sam she had known, was rocking his ratty Chuck Taylor’s.

             
“Hey,” she greeted him, tucking her hair behind her ears.

             
“Hey.” He smiled and she almost melted at his feet. He reached around his back and produced a small bouquet of lilies. How appropriate, she thought with a smile. Sam had always brought her lilies. “These are for you.”

             
“Thanks.” She motioned for him to enter. “Come on in. Just let me put these in some water and grab my hat and gloves and we can leave.”

             
She rested the flowers she had placed in a mason jar on her cabinet, adding a little bit of life to her country kitchen. Her hat and gloves were on the end table, so she picked those up and put them on, then grabbed her coat and keys. Sam allowed her to lead the way and when they were both outside in the frigid night air, she locked the house up. When she turned around, the sight of his car parked in her driveway made her snort.

             
“You're kidding, right?” she asked.

             
“What?”

             
“Sam.” She sighed. “You don't honestly think that we're going to take your car to get a tree, do you? Where do you think we're going to put it? In the trunk? I'm sure you don’t want to strap it to the roof and risk ruining that expensive paint job.”

             
“Oh,” he said. “I hadn't thought of that.”

             
“Let's take my car.” Lil lead him to the detached garage at the side of the house.

             
When she opened the doors, she headed for the driver’s side. And so did Sam. She wasn't sure what his excuse was. They bumped into each other awkwardly and both reached for the door handle, their fingers intertwining in the process. Lil decided she wasn't going to be the first to let go. Instead, she looked up at him, her expression saying, move your hand.

             
“Sorry,” Sam mumbled. He stepped away and walked around the Tahoe to the passenger side.

             
Lil started the car and let it idle for a moment while the warm air swirled around them. Once satisfied with the toasty nature of the car, she pulled out of her driveway and drove to the lot on the outskirts of town. Grayson's Farm was on the other side of the village leading to the gated neighborhoods and deserted farmlands.

             
Lil didn’t know what to say to keep the discomfort out of the air. She realized she hadn’t talked to him since she had met with Kane and Abe, so she decided to broach that subject first.

             
“I saw the boys on Sunday.”

             
She could feel Sam turn to look at her as she kept her eyes on the road.

             
“I heard.” There was a hint of a smile in his voice.

             
“You did?” she asked puzzled. “How?”

             
“I happened to run into them too,” he said. Lil took her eyes off the road for a brief second to give him a questioning glare. “I had a bad day Monday so I went to Rusty’s to unwind. Kane and Abe were there and we ended up talking all night.”

             
“Wow,” Lil said. The words a breath of a whisper leaving her lips. “How did that go?”

             
“Once we got past how big of a dick I turned into, pretty good actually.”

             
“That’s great, Sam! So you three have mended fences?” she asked, hopeful for Sam to have his two best friends back in his life.

             
“We have, to a degree.”

             
Sam laughed at Lil’s twisted face. She had scrunched up her nose and furrowed her brow.

             
“They threatened me with bodily harm if I ignored them when and if my memory returns. Well, actually, Abe did.”

             
Lil had to laugh. “Sounds about right.”

             
Grayson’s was just past the last stop light in town. It was a large lot with rows and rows of different types of trees. Lil pulled into the make shift dirt parking lot noting that it looked just like she had remembered.

             
Lil jumped out of the car and toward the lighted sign that read,
Grayson’s Farm
, her gloved hands rubbing together. She needed something for them to do. The urge to reach out and grab Sam's was almost too good to pass up. The atmosphere, the lights, the smells, everything about this place started to come back to her.

             
Even the last time she had been here.

             
Lil stopped short of the gates and breathed deeply. A sudden warmth started to spread throughout her body as if she were standing next to an open fire pit.

             
“You all right?” Sam asked. The warmth was his arm around her shoulder, rubbing her forearm as if to ward off the cold.

             
“Yeah. Just been a while since I've been here. That's all.”

             
Lil didn't say anything when Sam kept his arm around her shoulder. They stepped under the lighted gates of Grayson's, the smell of hot chocolate burned deep into Lil's senses. She sighed happily and closed her eyes to fully appreciate the aromas surrounding her. Sam's hand squeezed her shoulder and she had to wonder if he did it out of habit or to reassure her that everything was going to be okay.

             
“Are my eyes deceiving me?” the old man asked, leaving his post behind the table of yummy goodness. When he stepped around, the image of the graying man that had been imbedded in Lil's brain didn't falter. He looked exactly the same. White hair on top of his wrinkly round head, he was a short man with a stomach that could have rivaled Santa Claus’. Lil had always thought that maybe Mr. Grayson was the man himself. Add a beard to him and he could have easily sat in the oversized chair that was in town square the entire holiday season.

             
“You still look as young as ever,” Lil said sweetly as she stepped away from Sam's hold to embrace Mr. Grayson with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

             
“You know how to make an old man blush. Sam,” He redirected his attention to the man at her side. “
Longtime
no see.” The two men reached out their hands and shook them. “Actually,
longtime
no see to the both of you. Lil, what's this I hear about you buying an artificial tree a few years back?” Lil looked at him with wide eyes. Mr. Grayson chuckled. “Nothing gets past me, missy. I know every family in town who thinks that pre-lit plastic trees are better than my real, nature-fed ones.”

             
“I'm trying to get her to see the error of her ways,” Sam joked.

             
“Speaking of errors,” Mr. Grayson narrowed his eyes at Sam. “You see yours yet?”

             
Lil had to hold back a laugh. Mr. Grayson, as most people, was not aware of why Sam and Lil were no longer together. Still, she enjoyed watching Sam squirm under the elder man’s stare.

             
Sam fumbled for the right words to say. “Actually, Mr. Grayson, Sam's had an accident.” Lil explained. “He's lost his memory and I happen to be the last thing he remembers.”

             
“Son,” he said, clapping Sam on the back in a fatherly fashion. “If it's one last memory to have, it's a good one. I always loved you two together. Never understood what happened. I always thought you two would be like my Martha and me. Together till the end. Oh well,” he said as if it was no big deal. “Maybe this is the second chance you both need.”

             
“Actually,” Lil started but Mr. Grayson held up a hand to stop her from speaking.

             
“No, don't say anything. Two of my favorite people just waltzed back in here and I want to keep the illusion alive in my mind that you'll pick out a tree and go home and solve all of your problems. Let an old man dream,” he added with a wink in Lil's direction. She nodded and gave him a small smile in return.

             
Lil and Sam stood, toes facing, but heads turned to the rows of different breeds of trees in front of them.

             
“You start at the Douglas Fir,” Sam said.

             
“And you start at the Scotch pine,” Lil replied automatically.

             
Together they both said, “And we'll meet at Noble Fir.” Sharing a laugh, their bodies lined up, and like so many times before, they leaned into to one another for that parting kiss. Lil could feel the crackle of the electricity that ignited between them. It would have been so easy to close the space between them and let her lips graze his like they had done so many times before.

             
Catching herself before she acted on impulse, Lil added, “Good luck.” Sam nodded and turned his back and walked to the stiff, dark green needles of the Scotch pine.

             
The Douglas Fir trees weren't far from where they had been standing. Lil looked each side over, letting her hand graze across the needles as they brushed against her gloves. She was almost down the first row when a familiar face rounded the corner from the opposite end.

             
He was dressed in the same kind of flannel that he always wore. His traditional earflap hat sat upon his head and the same sinister eyes she had long forgotten drank her in. She had hoped and prayed that maybe he had found another job. No such luck. She had come face to face three years later with the reason for her emotional break down the last time she had returned to Grayson's farm. The only man she had been with since Sam. The night she regretted more than the night Sam had left. Toby Grayson. And from the look on his face, he was more than pleased to see her.

             
“I knew you'd come back,” he said, his voice low and deep sending chills down Lil’s spine. “I've been waiting for you.”

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