Secrets (18 page)

C
hapte
r
9

Sam

              “Sam!”  Terrell called out from the other side of the door.  With sleep-blurred eyes, I glanced over at the clock and immediately hopped up.  When I opened the door Terrell shook his head and sighed.  “You look like hell.”

             
“Shut up; I must’ve forgotten to set my alarm,” I said, leaving him behind to rush into the bathroom so I could brush my teeth. 

             
“Hurry up.  We’re gonna be late.”

             
He was getting on my nerve as usual.  “You could just leave you know.  My feelings won’t be hurt at all if you decide to walk without me today…or…always.”

             
“Less talking and more….whatever it is that you’re doing.  We have,” Terrell paused, “ten minutes.”

             
“I don’t need you to do a countdown, just give me a minute!  Please shut up like I asked you to.”

             
“Nine minutes,“ he stated, obviously trying to get under my skin.

             
“It’s too early, Terrell. 
Way
too early.”  When I emerged from the bathroom wearing sweats and a t-shirt, Terrell handed me a Pop-Tart. 

             
“You look like a Raggedy Ann doll that got caught in a lawnmower and then chewed on by a dog.”

             
“Well aren’t you just a bucket of sunshine this morning,” I replied.  Terrell smiled as he stood to his feet so that we could attempt to get to class on time.  

The courtyard was emptier than usual.  A few students hurried across t
he grass, trying to get their lectures. 

             
“I can’t believe you overslept,” Terrell said under his breath.

             
“And I can’t believe you’re still talking about it.  Give it rest.”

             
He shook his head as we approached the stairs of the Hanson Building.  I was walking through the door when he called out to me.  “And be sure to sit in the back, man.   You look a mess.”  He made a face like my appearance disgusted him, which made me laugh, sticking my tongue out at him as I went inside.

             
Class had already started when I walked in.  The professor glanced up at me and paused for a second when I entered.  I was thoroughly embarrassed for being late and decided that if it ever happened again, I’d just be skipping class altogether. 

             
His lecture was boring as usual and I dozed off a few times before he dismissed us hours later.  Terrell was outside the building waiting, of course, with a few more comments about what I had on as we paced back toward the dorm. 

“
Maisha’s car is down, so I gotta pick her up from work in about an hour.  You should ride with me, cause we’re going to lunch after,” he offered.

I thought about it and my stomach growled.  “Okay, just call when you get ready to leave.”

He ageed and I went on to my room to shower  and do the many other things I didn’t have time to do before leaving that morning.  I’d just stepped out of the bathroom and wrapped my robe around me when I heard a knock at the door.  Sighing, I scolded Terrell in my head for not following directions.

“The plan was for you to call, not for you to –
“ was as far as I got before I pulled the door open completely and laid eyes on Antonio standing on the other side of the threshold. 

“
Antonio
…….w-what’re you doing here?”  I stuttered, releasing my grip on the edge of the door as I made sure my robe was securely tied around my waist.

He sighed heavily and shoved his hands in his coat pockets. 
“Been tryna call.  I need to talk to you.  Did you get my messages.”  His tone was clipped and dry.

“I did, but you can’t just show up at my door because I didn’t respond.”  My eyes shifted down the hall toward Terrell’s door, knowing that if he stepped out into the hallway and saw Antonio standing here, he’d surely make a scene.  “You can’t be here,” I added.

Antonio rolled his eyes, not bothering to hide his frustration.

“And I wouldn’t be if you
picked up…or called back.”

We stared at one another silently before I snatched him inside by the arm of his coat.  Pointing at the desk chair across from my bed, I ordered him to sit.  “
Lemme go change.  We can’t talk here.”

He shrugged.  “That’s fine.”

I watched him for another second before going to grab something to put on and then went into the bathroom to change.  While I was alone, I wracked my brain trying to figure out where Antonio got off just showing up here like this.  What if Terrell had been here?  Or Dee?  Or worse yet, AJ?  Shaking my head, I came to the conclusion that we needed to nip this in the bud today, once and for all.  We were only a couple weeks away from Christmas break and, after that, AJ would be here full-time.  The last thing I needed was Antonio sniffing around my door.

When I stepped out of my bedroom, Antonio didn’t flinch.  He stared at the door, unmoving and silent.  My eyes were on him as I slipped into my boots and coat.  Grabbing my phone and keys from the dresser, I motioned toward the door.

“Ok, I’m ready.”

The entire walk out to the car, I looked over my should
er for Terrell.  Remembering our plans to pick Maisha up for lunch, I shot him a quick text to let him know that I changed my mind, but would call him later.  When I put my phone away, I glanced over at Antonio.

“How’d you find my room?”  I asked.

“Wasn’t that hard,” was all he said back as I watched him from the corner of my eye. 

We approached his car, I held up my keys.
“I’m driving myself,” I announced.  It’d be better that way – no awkward silence in the car, no suspicion from Terrell if he noticed that I was missing, but my car wasn’t.  It just made sense to me. 

Antonio shook his head exasperatedly, but said nothing as he climbed into his car.  I followed as he made a few turns and pulled into the parking lot of the Starbucks a few blocks away.  I stepped out of the car and approached him on the sidewalk before we walked inside.

Since I was there and
he
was ordering a something, I got myself a hot chocolate, paying for it out of my own money of course.  We took a seat near the window adjacent to where our cars were parked.  Instead of looking at me, Antonio stared out at the passing traffic.

“What’re you doing here?”  I finally forced out.  His eyes met mine and I elaborated. 
“Not just here on campus today, but…here
period
.”

Antonio breathed a frustrated sigh.  “Honestly?  I ask myself that same question every day.  Trust me, though, if I could’ve gotten out of that lease I signed, I’d be gone.”

The coldness in his tone was unfamiliar, but I chocked it up to his frustration over me not answering my phone.  Suddenly uncomfortable, I readjusted myself in my seat.

“Well…you wanted to talk…so talk.”  I watched Antonio’s blank expression when I spoke.

He took another deep breath and finally met my gaze.  “First of all, my reasons for calling over the past couple months and my reason for calling
lately
are two separate issues.”

“Start with why you were calling back when school first started,” I interjected.

Another sharp sigh.  “It was just like my messages said – I was calling to check on you and just to say
‘hey’
, but you would’ve known that if you’d had the decency to call back.”

I looked down and shook my head.  When I removed the lid of my hot chocolate so that it could cool faster, Antonio’s eyes caught sight of the promise ring with the word
‘forever’
facing outward.  He scoffed and looked out the window again, possibly realizing that the ring was a gift from AJ.  I looked at his twisted expression and shook my head.  The amount of animosity and hatred that still existed between him and AJ, on
both
sides, was astonishing to me. 

“Listen, Antonio, I –“

“I saw him with another girl,” he blurted, watching my expression when he did.  “And I thought you deserved to know.”

At first, I couldn’t even comprehend who he was talking about. 
“Who?  AJ?”  I finally asked, making the connection.  “Yeah, right.”

Antonio scoffed and looked out the window again.

“Your eyes must’ve been playing tricks on you.  When was this?”  I asked, honestly feeling more like laughing than anything.

“I forgot who I was talking to,” he mumbled to himself. 

I saw him reaching for his coat and stopped him by repeating, “When?”

It took a few seconds, but Antonio finally met my gaze. 
“During the break.  I was home visiting my family and I saw them out together.”

I blinked a few times, trying to figure out what it was Antonio
thought
he saw.  “Out where?”

“I took Momma Black Friday shopping that morning.  We got done late morning or early afternoon and sh
e asked me to hit the McDonald’s drive-thru before we went back home.”  There was almost a twinge of sympathy behind Antonio’s cold stare when he added, “They were hanging all over each other and laughing.”

I cocked my head to the side, processing what he was saying.  While I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, I didn’t believe a word that was coming out of his mouth.  Do I think Antonio was
intentionally
lying to me?  No.  I was pretty sure that he believed this to be the truth.  However, I knew that AJ wouldn’t have been out with some other girl like that.  Antonio had gotten himself worked up for nothing.

“At first, I thought maybe y’all had broken up or something, which was
gonna be my first question,” he stated flatly before gesturing toward my ring.  “…But I see that’s not the case.”

I looked down at my hand and cleared my throat.  “Look…I appreciate you telling me and thinking that you’re looking out for me, Antonio.  Really I do.  However…you didn’t see what you
think
you saw,” I said with a level of surety that did nothing but piss him off. 

His jaw tightened as he leaned his elbows on the table to close the distance between us.  He spoke just above a whisper, but the tension in his tone still caught me off guard.  “Why the hell is it that you think this dude can do no wrong?  It’s not like he’s above doing something like this.”

I didn’t miss the reference to the role AJ played in me and Antonio’s breakup, but I ignored it all the same.  “AJ’s not cheating on me.”

“Tell that to the Asian chick I saw him with a couple weeks ago, then.  ‘
Cause I know what I saw.”

My blood was starting to heat in my veins, setting my cheeks ablaze in the process.

“Don’t let him make a fool of you, Sam,” Antonio warned.  “Trust me…that’s hard to come back from.”

My eyes flickered while I stared back at him, unable to hide the fact that the statement took a jab at my heart.  Antonio’s eyes drifted to my wrist and he shook his head again as he t
ook in the sight of my tattoo.  I stared at AJ’s initials too.

Hurt. 
Frustration.  Regret.  I could feel each and every one of those emotions practically rolling off of Antonio’s body.  The level of discomfort at our table rose to astronomical levels in the short ten minute span of time that we sat there.  Apparently he could feel it too, judging by his sudden need to make a quick exit.  This time, when he reached for his coat and keys, I didn’t stop him.

“Just don’t be as blind as I was,”
he said, standing to his feet.  “While you’re sitting there questioning whether my eyes were playing tricks on
me
or not, ask yourself if he’s been different lately, or if you’ve caught him in a lie or two.  Those are the things you should be looking for instead of trying to explain it all away.”

With that, Antonio left me sitting alone at the table with my emotions all over the place. 
Cheating?  Of course not
.  I tried to picture the scenario Antonio described – AJ hugged up with another girl – Asian, according to his recollection.  I couldn’t even wrap my mind around the possibility; it didn’t make sense.  While I still was certain that AJ wasn’t with another girl, this is news that
no
woman wants to hear, from an ex or otherwise. 

Sighing out of frustration, I abandoned my drink and headed back to my room.   Without realizing it, Antonio had planted a seed in
my thoughts.  Trying to picture it in my head did nothing but water the idea, whether I meant for that to be the case or not.  Now…honestly, I did want to at least mention the information to AJ to see what he’d say, but it wasn’t like I could go to him and say that I’d hung out with Antonio who
then
accused him of seeing another girl behind my back.  Basically, what I’m saying is, I was now stuck with these questions and no possibility of being able to bring it to AJ without incriminating myself.  This meeting was something that I swore I’d never bring up, which seemed to be the smartest way to deal with it.