Sex, Marriage and Family in World Religions (23 page)

l u k e t i m o t h y j o h n s o n a n d m a r k d . j o r d a n sexual role of men. 193Do not surrender wholly to unbridled sensuality toward your wife. 194For eros is not a god, but a passion destructive of all.

[“The Sentences of Pseudo-Phocylides,” trans. P. W. van der Horst, in
Old Testament Pseudepigrapha,
ed. J. H. Charlesworth (New York: Doubleday, 1985), vol. 2, pp. 580–581]

GOSPELS OF MATTHEW AND LUKE

The canonical Gospels (written between 70–90 ce) contain four versions of Jesus’s teaching regarding divorce: Luke 16:16 is a simple prohibition. Mark 10:1–10 contains Jesus’s teaching within the context of a controversy with Pharisees, and makes the prohibition of divorce without exception. Matthew has two versions. The first is in the Sermon on the Mount, as one of the “antitheses”

that contrast Jesus’s teaching to Moses and the oral tradition (5:31–32). Jesus here allows a man to divorce his wife in the case of
porneia
(sexual immorality).

The second Matthew passage (19:1–12) parallels the controversy in Mark 10:1– 10. Again, Jesus allows divorce for
porneia,
and adds a saying that appears to suggest celibacy as a higher state for those who can follow it.

Document 2–4

t h e g o s p e l o f m a t t h e w 1 9 : 1 – 1 2

19:1Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan; 2and large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 3And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4He answered, “Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female,” 5and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?” 6So they are no longer two but one flesh. What, therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.” 7They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” 8He said to them, “For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery.” 10The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is not expedient to marry.” 11But he said to them, “Not all men can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it.” . . .

[
The Holy Bible with the Apocrypha,
Revised Standard Version (New York: Oxford University Press, 2002)]

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At the same time that the Gospels report Jesus as demanding absolute fidelity in marriage, they also contain sayings that demand of Jesus’s followers that they leave all human ties and possessions behind.

Document 2–5

the gospel of luke 14:25–33, 18:18–30, 20:27–38

14:25Now great multitudes accompanied him; and he turned and said to them, 26“If any one comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. . . . 33So therefore, whoever of you does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.” . . .

18:18And a ruler asked him, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 19And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. 20You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother.’”

21And he said, “All these I have observed from my youth.” 22And when Jesus heard it, he said to him, “One thing you still lack. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” 23But when he heard this, he became sad, for he was very rich. 24Jesus, looking at him, said, “How hard it is for those who have riches to enter the kingdom of God! 25For it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” 26Then those who heard it said, “Then who can be saved?” 27But he said, “What is impossible with men is possible with God.” 28And Peter said, “Lo, we have left our homes and followed you.” 29And he said to them, “Truly, I say to you, there is no man who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, 30who will not receive manifold more in this time, and in the age to come eternal life.” . . .

[The Gospels also report Jesus in controversy with the Sadducees on the issue of levirate marriage, in which a brother was obliged to marry his brother’s widow (Gen. 38:8; Deut. 25:5–10). Jesus’s response to the reductio ad absurdum reveals the Christian sense of sharp discontinuity between natural life and the resurrection life.]

20:27There came to him some Sadducees, those who say that there is no resurrection, 28and they asked him a question, saying, “Teacher, Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies, having a wife but no children, the man must take the wife and raise up children for his brother. 29Now there were seven brothers; the first took a wife, and died without children; 30and the second 31and the third took her, and likewise all seven left no children and died. 32Afterward the woman also died. 33In the resurrection, therefore, whose wife will the woman be? For the seven had her as wife.” 34And Jesus said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage; 35but those who are accounted 94

l u k e t i m o t h y j o h n s o n a n d m a r k d . j o r d a n worthy to attain to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, 36for they cannot die any more, because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection. 37But that the dead are raised, even Moses showed, in the passage about the bush, where he calls the Lord the God of Abraham and the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob. 38Now he is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living, for all live to him.” . . .

[Revised Standard Version]

PAUL’S LETTERS TO THE CORINTHIANS

AND EPHESIANS

Paul was the first and most important interpreter of the Christian experience.

In his letters, between 49–68 ce, we find him struggling to think through the implications of the “new creation” that was the resurrection of Jesus for specific moral behavior. The status of sex, marriage, and family were obviously in question. It is not surprising to find in Paul’s letters elements that do not entirely agree. We provide here three passages that have probably had the greatest effect on Christian thinking concerning these issues. The first is a long section of 1

Corinthians, which touches on sexual immorality, marriage, divorce, and virginity. The second is Paul’s most powerful affirmation of marriage in his letter to the Ephesians as a “mystery” pointing to the relationship between Christ and the church. The third is another passage from 1 Corinthians that does not mention marriage but whose exalted conception of love
(agape,
not
eros)
has caused it to be read at countless Christian weddings and provide a moral ideal for enduring Christian marriages.

Document 2–6

1 c o r i n t h i a n s 5 : 1 – 7 : 4 0

5:1It is actually reported that there is immorality
(porneia)
among you and of a kind that is not found even among pagans; for a man is living with his father’s wife. 2And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you. 3For though absent in body I am present in spirit, and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment 4in the name of the Lord Jesus on the man who has done such a thing. When you are assembled, and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, 5you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. 6Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? 7Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our paschal lamb, has been sacrificed. 8Let us, therefore, celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened
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bread of sincerity and truth. 9I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with immoral men
(pornoi)
; 10not at all meaning the immoral of this world, or the greedy and robbers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. 11But rather I wrote you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of immorality
(porneia)
or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or robber—not even to eat with such a one. 12For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13God judges those outside. “Drive out the wicked person from among you.” . . .

6:9Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral
(pornoi)
nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts, 10nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God. 12 “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything. 13“Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for immorality
(porneia)
but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14And God raised the Lord and will raise us up by his power. 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I therefore take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute
(porne)
? Never! 16Do you not know that he who joins himself to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two shall become one flesh” [Gen. 2:24]. 17But he who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18Shun immorality
(porneia)
. Every other sin which a man commits is outside the body; but the immoral man
(pornos)
sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

7:1Now concerning the matters about which you wrote. It is well for a man not to touch a woman. 2But because of the temptation to immorality
(porneia),
each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should give his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does. 5Do not refuse one another except perhaps by agreement for a season, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, lest Satan tempt you through lack of self-control. 6I say this by way of concession, not of command.

7I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own special gift from God, one of one kind, and one of another.

8To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain single as I do. 9But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.

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l u k e t i m o t h y j o h n s o n a n d m a r k d . j o r d a n 10To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from the husband 11(but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband)—and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

12To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband.

Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy. 15But if the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such a case, the brother or sister is not bound. For God called us to peace. 16Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know you will save your wife?

17Only, let everyone lead the life which the Lord has assigned to him, and in which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. 18Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. 19For neither circumcision counts for anything nor un-circumcision, but keeping the commandments of God. 20Everyone should remain in the state in which he was called. 21Were you a slave when called? Never mind. But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity. 22For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a slave of Christ. 23You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. 24So, brethren, in whatever state each was called, there let him remain with God.

25Now concerning the unmarried, I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26I think that in view of the present distress, it is well for a person to remain as he is. 27Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek marriage. 28But if you marry, you do not sin, and if a girl marries she does not sin. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. 29I mean, brethren, the appointed time has grown very short; from now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the form of this world is passing away.