Sex, Marriage and Family in World Religions (18 page)

______________________ STATE OF ______________________,
between:
HUSBAND-TO-BE:

___________________________________________

WIFE-TO-BE:

_______________________________________________

RESIDING

AT:

_______________________________________________

RESIDING

AT:

_______________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

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67

The parties, who intend to be married in the near future, hereby agree as follows:
I. Should a dispute arise between the parties after they are married, so that they do not live together as husband and wife, they agree to refer their marital dispute to an arbitration panel, namely, The Beth Din of the United States of America, Inc. (currently located at 305 Seventh Ave., New York, NY 10001, tel. 212 807– 9042, www.bethdin.org) for a binding decision.

II. The decision of the Beth Din of America shall be fully enforceable in any court of competent jurisdiction.

III. The parties agree that the Beth Din of America is authorized to decide all issues relating to a
get
(Jewish divorce) as well as any issues arising from this Agreement or the
ketubah
and
tena’im
(Jewish premarital agreements) entered into by the Husband-to-Be and the Wife-to-Be. Each of the parties agrees to appear in person before the Beth Din of America at the demand of the other party.

IV: The Beth Din of America may consider the respective responsibilities of either or both of the parties for the end of the marriage, is an additional, but not exclusive, factor in determining the distribution of marital property and maintenance, should such a determination be authorized by Section IV:A or Section IV:B.

V. Failure of either party to perform his or her obligations under this Agreement shall make that party liable for all costs awarded by either the Beth Din of America or a court of competent jurisdiction, including reasonable attorney’s fees, incurred by one side in order to obtain the other party’s performance of the terms of this Agreement.

SECTIONS IV:A & IV:B ARE OPTIONAL

(Unless one of these option is chosen, the Beth Din of America will be without jurisdiction to address matters of general financial and parenting disputes between the parties. For more information, see the instructions.) IV:A(1). The parties agree that the Beth Din of America is authorized to decide all monetary disputes (including division of property and maintenance) that may arise between them.
We choose to have Paragraph IV:A(1) apply to our
arbitration agreement.

Signature of Husband-to-Be________________________________________

Signature of Wife-to-Be___________________________________________

IV:A(2). The parties agree that the Beth Din of America is authorized to decide any monetary disputes (including division of property and maintenance) that may arise between them based on principles of equitable distribution law customarily employed in the United States as found in the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act.

We choose to have Paragraph IV:A(2) apply to our arbitration agreement.

Signature of Husband-to-Be________________________________________

Signature of Wife-to-Be___________________________________________

IV:A(3). The parties agree that the Beth Din of America is authorized to decide 68

m i c h a e l s . b e r g e r

any monetary disputes (including division of property and maintenance) that may arise between them based on the principles of community property law customarily employed in the United States as found in the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act.

We choose to have Paragraph. IV:A(3) apply to our arbitration agreement.

Signature of Husband-to-Be________________________________________

Signature of Wife-to-Be___________________________________________

IV:B. The parties agree that the Beth Din of America is authorized to decide all disputes, including child custody, child support, and visitation matters, as well as any other disputes that may arise between them.

We choose to have Section IV:B apply to our arbitration agreement.

Signature of Husband-to-Be________________________________________

Signature of Wife-to-Be_____________________________________

VI. The decision of the Beth Din of America shall be made in accordance with Jewish law
(halakha)
or Beth Din ordered settlement in accordance with the principles of Jewish law
(peshara krova la-din),
except as specifically provided otherwise in this Agreement. The parties waive their right to contest the jurisdiction or procedures of the Beth Din of America or the validity of this Agreement in any other rabbinical court or arbitration forum other than the Beth Din of America. The parties agree to abide by the published Rules and Procedures of the Beth Din of America (which are available at www.bethdin.org, or by calling the Beth Din of America) which are in effect at the time of the arbitration. The Beth Din of America shall follow its rules and procedures, which shall govern this arbitration to the fullest extent permitted by law. Both parties obligate themselves to pay for the services of the Beth Din of America as directed by the Beth Din of America.

VII. The parties agree to appear in person before the Beth Din of America at the demand of the other party, and to cooperate with the adjudication of the Beth Din of America in every way and manner. In the event of the failure of either party to appear before the Beth Din of America upon reasonable notice, the Beth Din of America may issue its decision despite the defaulting party’s failure to appear, and may impose costs and other penalties as legally permitted.

Furthermore, Husband-to-Be acknowledges that he recites and accepts the following:

I hereby now
(me’achshav),
obligate myself to support my Wife-to-Be from the
date that our domestic residence together shall cease for whatever reasons, at the
rate of $150 per day (calculated as of the date of our marriage, adjusted annually
by the Consumer Price Index–All Urban Consumers, as published by the US

Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics) in lieu of my Jewish law obligation of support so long as the two of us remain married according to Jewish
law, even if she has another source of income or earnings. Furthermore, I waive
my
halakhic
rights to my wife’s earnings for the period that she is entitled to the
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69

above stipulated sum, and I acknowledge, that I shall be deemed to have repeated
this waiver at the time of our wedding. I acknowledge that I have effected the
above obligation by means of a
kinyan
(formal Jewish transaction) in an esteemed
(chashuv)
Beth Din as prescribed by Jewish law.
However, this support obligation shall terminate if Wife-to-Be refuses to appear upon due notice before the Beth Din of America or in the event that Wife-to-Be fails to abide by the decision or recommendation of the Beth Din of America.

VIII. This Agreement may be signed in one or more duplicates, each one of which shall be considered an original.

IX. This Agreement constitutes a fully enforceable arbitration agreement.

Should any provision of this Agreement be deemed unenforceable, all other surviving provisions shall still be deemed fully enforceable; each and every provision of this Agreement shall be severable from the other. As a matter of Jewish law, the parties agree that to effectuate this agreement in full form and purpose, they accept now (through the Jewish law mechanism of
kim li
) whatever minority views determined by the Beth Din of America are needed to effectuate the obligations contained in Section VII and the procedures and jurisdictional mandates found in Sections I, II, III and VI of this Agreement.

X. Each of the parties acknowledges that he or she has been given the oppor-tunity prior to signing this Agreement to consult with his or her own rabbinic advisor and legal advisor. The obligations and conditions contained herein are executed according to all legal and
halachic
requirements. In witness of all the above, the Husband-to-Be and Wife-to-Be have entered into this Agreement.

SIGNATURE OF HUSBAND-TO-BE: _____________________________

SIGNATURE OF WIFE-TO-BE:__________________________________

WITNESS:

____________________________________________________

The paragraphs below allow for easy notarization. For further information, see the Instructions.

ACKNOWLEDGMENT FOR HUSBAND-TO-BE

State of ____________________________________

County of _________________________________

On the ______ day of ___________ in the year _____ before me, the under-signed, personally appeared __________________________________, personally known to me or proved to me on the basis of satisfactory evidence to be the individual whose name is subscribed to within this agreement and acknowledged to me that he executed the same in his capacity, and that by his signature on the arbitration agreement, the individual executed the agreement.

____________________________________________________

Notary Public

70

m i c h a e l s . b e r g e r

ACKNOWLEDGMENT FOR WIFE-TO-BE

State of ____________________________________

County of _________________________________

On the ______ day of ___________ in the year _____ before me, the under-signed, personally appeared __________________________________, personally known to me or proved to me on the basis of satisfactory evidence to be the individual whose name is subscribed to within this agreement and acknowledged to me that she executed the same in her capacity, and that by her signature on the arbitration agreement, the individual executed the agreement.

__________________________________________________

Notary Public

[Beth Din of America, “Binding Arbitration Agreement,”

available at http://ocweb.org/images/uploads/PNA_web_with_instructions.pdf]

Document 1–59

t h e l i e b e r m a n c l a u s e

In 1953 the Rabbinical Assembly and the Jewish Theological Seminary accepted an additional clause in the
ketubah
proposed by Professor Saul Lieberman. The purpose of the Lieberman
takana
was to help solve the problem of
agunot
(women whose husbands refuse to grant them a religious divorce and who are thus prohibited from remarrying). The bride and groom agree to recognize the authority of the Bet Din of the Rabbinical Assembly and the Jewish Theological Seminary to summon either party at the request of the other to enable the party so requesting to live in accordance with the Torah. The point of this clause is to exert moral suasion upon a recalcitrant spouse already divorced under civil law to agree to a traditional
get.

In 1991, the Joint Bet Din of the Conservative Movement suggested the couple sign a letter of intent in addition to the clause in the
ketubah
. The wording was worked out in order to ensure its viability in American courts.

The English texts of the Lieberman clause and the letter of intent follow.

l i e b e r m a n c l a u s e

This paragraph appears as the penultimate paragraph in the
ketubah:
______________, the groom, and ______________, the bride, further agreed that should either contemplate dissolution of the marriage, or following the dissolution of their marriage in the civil courts, each may summon the other to the Bet Din of the Rabbinical Assembly and the Jewish Theological Seminary, or its representative, and that each will abide by its instructions so that throughout life each will be able to live according to the laws of the Torah.

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l e t t e r o f i n t e n t

Each of us has met with Rabbi ______________, who has provided us with a copy of the ketubah (a copy of which is attached) and explained to each of us the provisions contained in the ketubah concerning the dissolution of marriage.

Each of us acknowledges and confirms our understanding that this ketubah is a legal contract and shall be binding under both Jewish and civil law concerning the formation and dissolution of our marriage.

In particular, each of us acknowledges that according to this ketubah, should our marriage be dissolved in the civil courts, each of us is bound to appear before the Joint Bet Din of the Conservative Movement, or such Bet Din as shall be designated by the Joint Bet Din, if so requested by the other, and to abide by its instruction and decision with respect to the dissolution of our marriage under Jewish law. Each of us intends that the undertaking to appear before and to be bound by the directions of the Bet Din may be enforced by the civil court of law. Each of us acknowledges our agreement to the ketubah and our willingness to be bound by its terms.

Dated ________________________

Signature of Bride ______________________________

Signature of Groom ____________________________

Explained and signed under the supervision of Rabbi ____________________________

Signature of Rabbi ___________________________________

[Saul Lieberman, “Lieberman Clause,” available at http://www.ritualwell.org/Rituals/ritual.html?docid ס 754.]

Document 1–60

c e n t r a l c o n f e r e n c e o f a m e r i c a n r a b b i s , a m e r i c a n r e f o r m r e s p o n s a 1 6 2 , reform judaism and divorce
Question:
What is the traditional Jewish attitude toward divorce? What is the Reform attitude toward divorce? Is a
Get
necessary before remarriage can occur?