Sex, Marriage and Family in World Religions (30 page)

Duly considering the causes for the which matrimony was ordained. One cause was the procreation of children, to be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and praise of God. Secondly it was ordained for a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication, that such persons as be married, might live chastely in matrimony, and keep themselves undefiled members of Christ’s body.

Thirdly for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity. Into the which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. Therefore if any man can show any just cause why they may not lawfully be joined so together: Let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace.

And also speaking to the persons that shall be married, he shall say.

I require and charge you (as you will answer at the dreadful day of judgment, when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed) that if either of you do know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in matrimony, that ye confess it. For be ye well assured, that so many as be coupled together otherwise than God’s word doth allow, are not joined of God, neither is their matrimony lawful. . . .

If no impediment be alleged, then shall the Curate say unto the man.

[
Name
] wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her in sickness and in health? And forsaking all others keep thee only to her, so long as you both shall live?

The man shall answer,

I will.

Then shall the priest say to the woman.

[
Name
] wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony? Will thou obey him, and serve him, love, honor, and keep him in sickness and in health? And forsaking all others keep thee only to him, so long as you both shall live?

The woman shall answer,
I will.

Then shall the Minister say,
Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?

And the minister receiving the woman at her father or friend’s hands, shall
cause the man to take the woman by the right hand, and so both to give their
troth to the other, the man first saying.

I [
name
] take thee [
name
] to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us depart: according to God’s holy ordinance: And thereto I plight thee my troth.

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Then shall they loose their hands, and the woman taking again the man by the
right hand shall say,

I [
name
] take thee [
name
] to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us depart: according to God’s holy ordinance: And thereto I give thee my troth.

Then shall they again loose their hands, and the man shall give unto the woman
a ring, and other tokens of spousage, as gold or silver, laying the same upon the
book, and the Priest taking the ring shall deliver it unto the man, to put it upon
the fourth finger of the woman’s left hand.

And the man taught by the priest, shall say.

With this ring I thee wed: This gold and silver I thee give: with my body I thee worship: and with all my worldly Goods I thee endow. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Then the man leaving the ring upon the fourth finger of the woman’s left hand,
the minister shall say,
Let us pray. O eternal God creator and preserver of all mankind, giver of all spiritual grace, the author of everlasting life: Send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this man, and this woman, whom we bless in thy name, that as Isaac and Rebecca (after bracelets and jewels of gold given of the one to the other for tokens of their matrimony) lived faithfully together. So these persons may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant between them made, whereof this ring given, and received
,
is a token and pledge. And may ever remain in perfect love and peace together; And live according to thy laws; through Jesus Christ our lord. Amen.

Then shall the priest join their right hands together, and say.

Those whom god hath joined together: let no man put asunder.

Then shall the minister speak unto the people.

Forasmuch as [
name]
and [
name
] have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same here before god and this company; and thereto have given and pledged their troth to each other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving gold and silver, and by joining of hands: I pronounce that they be man and wife together. In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

And the minister shall add this blessing.

God the Father bless you. God the Son keep you. God the Holy Ghost enlighten your understanding: The Lord mercifully with his favor look upon you, and so fill you with all spiritual benediction, and grace, that you may have remission of your sins in this life, and in the world to come life everlasting. Amen. . . .

The Minister.

Let us pray. O God of Abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob, bless these thy servants, and sow the seed of eternal life in their minds, that whatsoever in thy holy word they shall profitably learn: they may in deed fulfill the same. Look, 128

l u k e t i m o t h y j o h n s o n a n d m a r k d . j o r d a n O Lord, mercifully upon them from heaven, and bless them: And as thou didst send thy Angel Raphael to Tobias, and Sarah, the daughter of Raguel, to their great comfort; so vouchsafe to send thy blessing upon these thy servants, that they obeying thy will, and always being in safety under thy protection: may abide in thy love unto their lives’ end: through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

This prayer following shall be omitted where the woman is past childbirth.

O Merciful Lord, and heavenly father, by whose gracious gift mankind is in-creased: We beseech thee assist with thy blessing these two persons, that they may both be fruitful in procreation of children; and also live together so long in godly love and honesty, that they may see their children’s children, unto the third and fourth generation, unto thy praise and honor: through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

O God who by thy mighty power hast made all things out of nothing, who also after other things set in order didst appoint that out of man (created after thine own image and similitude) woman should take her beginning: and, knit-ting them together, didst teach, that it should never be lawful to put asunder those, whom thou by matrimony hast made one: O God, who hast consecrated the state of matrimony to such an excellent mystery, that in it is signified and represented the spiritual marriage and unity between Christ and his church: Look mercifully upon these thy servants, that both this man may love his wife, according to thy word, as Christ did love his spouse the church, who gave himself for it, loving and cherishing it even as his own flesh. And also that this woman may be loving and amiable to her husband as Rachel, wise as Rebecca, faithful and obedient as Sarah; And in all quietness, sobriety, and peace, be a follower of holy and godly matrons. O Lord, bless them both, and grant them to inherit thy everlasting kingdom, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Then shall the priest bless the man and the woman, saying
Almighty God, who at the beginning did create our first parents Adam and Eve, and did sanctify and join them together in marriage: Pour upon you the riches of his grace, sanctify and bless you, that ye may please him both in body and soul; and live together in holy love unto your lives end. Amen. . . .

[There follows a prescribed sermon in which the priest instructs the married couple and all those listening on scriptural teaching about the duties of married life.]

[Thomas Cranmer, comp.,
Book of Common Prayer
(1549), in
The First and Second
Prayer Books of Edward VI,
intro. Douglas Harrison (London: Dent; New York: Dutton, 1910), pp. 252–258]

JOHN CALVIN

John Calvin (1509–1564) was the leading figure of the generation of reformers after Luther. As systematic theologian, scriptural exegete, legal theorist, and community leader, Calvin effectively opened up a second wing of the refor-Christianity 129

mation. His masterpiece, the
Institutes of Christian Religion,
was first published in 1536, but he continued to revise it periodically. Calvin also wrote extensive scriptural commentaries, substantial sermons, and innumerable church docu-ments or other legal opinions. His views on marriage, while more austere than those of Luther, emphasized that it was a fully Christian vocation and so a serious call to moral growth. The selection here is taken from a sermon on Deuteronomy 5:18 that Calvin delivered on the occasion of a wedding (1555).

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j o h n c a l v i n , s e r m o n o n d e u t e r o n o m y 5 : 1 8

Now we know that if anything ought to be holy in all of human life, it’s the faith that a husband has in his wife and her faith in him. In truth, all contracts and all promises that we make ought to be faithfully upheld. But if we should make a comparison, it is not without cause that marriage is called [a] covenant with God. By this word, Solomon [cf. Prov. 2:17] shows that God presides over marriages, and for this reason, whenever a husband breaks his promise which he has made to his wife, he has not only perjured himself with respect to her, but also with respect to God. The same is true of the wife. She not only wrongs her husband, but the living God, for it is to him that she is obligated. More especially, God himself wants to maintain marriage, since he has ordained it and is its author. Therefore when we hear the word
adultery,
it ought to be detestable to us, as if men deliberately wanted to despise God, and like raging beasts wanted to break the sacred bond that he has established in marriage.

Now we understand how he regards uprightness. Why? When he wants us to be sober, chaste, [and] modest, he says to us: “If you are not virtuous and sober, you are like adulterers, that is to say, whatever excuse you might be able to feign before men, regardless of how little and inconsequential your faults, I will hold you with hate; you are stinking to me; your entire life is foul as far as I am concerned.”

We see therefore (as I have already touched on) that this is a strict commandment designed to hold us in honesty and modesty. And by means of it we see how frivolous is the excuse of those who say that they wrong no one when they indulge themselves and are full of shocking misdeeds. For our Lord well knows why he used such language; it isn’t because he was a stammerer, [or]

wasn’t able to direct things, but because he wanted to show that if men want to turn a small incident into a profligate matter, there is another side to it, which is that he condemns and curses all adulterers, all who indulge in shame-lessness and unchastity. Thus all the more gravely must we weigh this word which is couched here when he says,
You shall not be an adulterer.

In any event, we ought to follow the points that are contained under this precept. In the first place (as I have already mentioned), let us understand that God wants holy marriage to be preserved. For just as our lives and our persons 130

l u k e t i m o t h y j o h n s o n a n d m a r k d . j o r d a n are precious to him, so also he wills that that faith and mutual loyalty which ought to exist between a husband and wife should be held in its proper esteem and that a thing as holy as marriage should not be exposed to villainy and shame.

That is why no one is to look upon his neighbor’s wife with lustful eyes. And why? Because our Lord has already united her with her husband; he wants the husband to put her in the shade. And when we think of any evil or shameful desire, he wants us to regard with horror what has been shown us, that is, that God himself will take vengeance on those who have violated the sacred inti-macy which he has dedicated in his name. The same holds true for wives with regard to husbands, that is to say, a wife must not surrender herself to lascivious thoughts when she looks upon a married man. Why? Because God has assigned her her own spouse. It is imperative [then] that if we do not want to make war against our creator, that each man should live in his [own] home—provided he has a spouse—and that this order should be maintained inviolable, because God is its author. That is one point.

Furthermore, we must continually return to the nature of God, realizing that he is not an earthly lawgiver who only forbids the external act while permitting us to indulge evil affections, for God has no desire to be served with the eye, nor is he like us. Men are satisfied when they cannot perceive their faults, but God who fathoms our hearts sees the truth, as Jeremiah explains [see Jer. 5:3].

He not merely wanted to restrain our bodies in his law, but above all he considered our souls. Consequently let us note that God has not simply forbidden the act that would in effect violate marriage or break it, but he has forbidden all lasciviousness and wicked intentions. And that is why our Lord Jesus Christ says that when a man looks upon another man’s wife with lust, he is an adulterer in God’s eyes [see Matt. 5:28]. Although he is not guilty according to human laws and cannot be chastised for having acted promiscuously, nevertheless in God’s sight he is already condemned as having transgressed this commandment here.

Therefore when we hear the word
adulterer,
a condition thusly condemned, let us not only learn to restrain ourselves in effect from all promiscuity, but also to maintain our senses chaste that we might be chaste in both eyes and heart.

For that is how Saint Paul defined true chastity when he says that those who are not married must be careful how they obey God in keeping themselves pure and clean in body and mind [see 1 Cor. 7:34]. He does not say that those who have not defiled their bodies in adultery are those who are chaste, but those who have taken the trouble to preserve both their bodies and minds from corruption.