SM 101: A Realistic Introduction (41 page)

Another caution: Sudden exposure to large amounts of cold can cause a dangerous slowing of the heartbeat, and very occasionally even cardiac arrest, in some people. Build slowly when playing with ice, and be extra-cautious if the person has a history of heart disease.

Ice cubes are made of frozen water. Frozen water melts. Keep a towel handy, and be careful about slipping on a wet surface and with electrical devices.

Conventional Sex Toys

For more information and ideas on how to use conventional sex toys, please refer to my book “Sex Toy Tricks: More than 125 Ways to Accessorize Good Sex. ”

Vibrators.
Vibrators can add extra spice. In addition to their standard stimulation applications, vibrators can be touched to damps to provide an interesting sensation.

Vibrators have become very sophisticated. Now they come with simultaneous vaginal and clitoral stimulators, which can be operated at different speeds.

A rather large, wand-shaped vibrator is popular with many women. It cannot be inserted into the vagina, but is excellent for clitoral stimulation. You should have at least one vibrator.

It’s possible to suck cock in a very dominant manner.

Ben wa balls.
Ben wa balls are two balls inserted into the vagina. As they rub against each other, they sexually stimulate the woman. Some are made of metal, some of plastic.

Ben wa balls can be some submissive women’s best friends, allowing them to feel pleasure while they go about their duties of pleasing and serving their dominant. Other women get little sensation from ben wa balls (although even these women may enjoy them in combination with a vibrator).

Just make sure one doesn’t fall out at an inopportune moment. Wear panties, or ropes.

Dildoes.
These artificial penises never come too quickly or lose their erection at the wrong moment. They come in all sizes - from dainty to gigantic. Most are about the size of the average erect penis.

Many dominant women like using dildoes. They especially find something very satisfying about wearing the dildo in a harness, and fucking their submissive partner in the ass.

Other Forms of Sensation

Abrasion play.
Fine grade sandpaper, emery boards, nail files, exfoliating scrubbers, fingernails, and similar items can be lightly scratched across tender places on the submissive’s body. Alternated with pleasure, these feelings can be intense. Abraded areas of the body become quite tender, and light, mild touches become more keenly felt.

While you have been warned to avoid combining menthol play with abrasion, one
possible
use of the combination is nipple play. Lightly abrade the submissive’s nipples and apply a tiny bit of a menthol-containing cream. The effect can be intense. This technique might be a workable substitute for submissives who can’t tolerate clamps on their nipples.

You can try this by abrading both nipples, then applying the menthol to
one
of them and see how that goes. Wait about five minutes before applying menthol to the other nipple.

Be careful with abrasion. Not too much. Otherwise even pleasant sensations will feel painful. Don’t be that mean. Avoid leaving grit in the area. Try this on yourself.

We’re deliberately Playing with the human nervous system here.

Semi-piercing.
Some people like to play with sharp, piercing sensations without actually breaking the skin. They may poke their submissive’s skin with sharp-pointed toothpicks or wooden skewers. This can be an intense, painful sensation that many masochists find quite erotic.

Because the sensation can be highly localized, the nipples, clitoris, and head of the penis are favorite targets. The sensation can be administered in a series of jabs or in a single long motion. It can be done alone, or combined with pleasurable sensations. Be careful not to break the skin. A small wooden fragment could remain, creating an infection.

Another semi-piercing toy that has a lot of potential but must be used
very
carefully is a pair of egg scissors. These are used to scoop the top off soft-boiled eggs so you can eat the contents with a spoon. You can buy these in many supermarkets or variety stores. They consist of a plastic or metal ring with a scissors-like handle protruding from the side. The interior diameter of this ring is a little over an inch. When you squeeze the handles together, many triangle-like spikes move toward the interior of the ring.

This device may not be much of a “threat” to a limp cock (and it’s probably best to put this on while the cock is in that state), but it can be a terror around an erect one. To liven things up even further, put two on about an inch or so apart, tighten them slightly, and twist them in opposite directions.

This can be a heavy pain toy and has the potential to cause serious injury. Use it with the respect it deserves.

A final “sharp” toy is a medical device called a Wurtenburg wheel or “neuro wheel.” This consists of a metal handle with a wheel at the end, ringed with very sharp points. By rolling it across the skin like a pizza cutter, the dominant creates a series of sharp piercing sensations in a line. Depending on the sensitivity of the area and the force applied to the wheel, this ranges from tickly to agonizing. These can break skin, so start gently and build carefully.

I like to be forced to come.

‘Play piercing.’
Some players enjoy placing needles (typically disposable hypodermic needles or acupuncture needles) under the skin and back out again, not to insert jewelry but simply for the sensation. While this is a form of play that has many devotees, it’s too risky and requires too much skill to describe in this book. If play piercing interests you, I strongly suggest you learn how from a professional piercer, or from a workshop on the topic. (Check the “Related Practices” section of this book under “Piercing, Cutting, and Branding” for more information.) Needless to say, scrupulous hygiene, and careful attention to disposal of needles, is essential.

Suction cups.
This may sound a bit strange at first (as if most of the rest of this book doesn’t!), but many players have excellent results using the suction cups found in snake bite kits. These can work well on nipples, and can also be used on other sensitive body parts. Breast pumps are another suction device that offers interesting possibilities.

The partial vacuum inside the cups causes the tissue to expand, sometimes up to double its normal size. The possibilities offered by such “enlarged” tissue are, shall we say, interesting.

Electricity
play.
Many SM folks find the idea of playing with electricity tremendously appealing. Its long history as a technique for real-world interrogation, torture, and even execution has implanted electricity deeply into many of our fantasies. The sensations involved are unique, and very compelling for many masochists.

Many different types of electricity toys are available; they deliver sensations which range from mild shocks comparable to touching a doorknob after walking across a wool carpet, through extremely intense pain and muscle spasm. Special units designed for electricity play, with attachments for genital and anal use, are available. Other items designed for medical and other real-world uses, including violet wands, TENS units, Relaxacisors, electric train transformers, electric dog collars, and even cattle prods are also sometimes used in electricity play.

Electricity comes in two basic forms, AC (alternating current) and DC (direct current). AC is the kind that comes out of your wall sockets (assuming you live in the U.S.). Unless you have special training or expertise in electricity, I strongly recommend that you avoid playing with toys that plug into house current, including electric train transformers and Relaxacisors. (Violet wands are an exception, as I will discuss later.)

DC current usually comes from batteries. Some DC current is extremely strong - cattle prods and stun guns are examples. While it’s not unheard-of to use these for SM, the sensations produced by these items are far too intense for most players (although these items may vary widely in their intensity).

Other DC toys are less intense. Specially designed electricity play units, TENS units, and electric dog collars are sometimes used for SM play, and are basically safe if you follow certain guidelines.

Keep in mind that the impulses which tell the heart when to beat are electrical in nature. Most of the guidelines for minimizing the risk of electricity play are designed to avoid “confusing” the heart’s impulses. Thus, a major guideline is to be
very
careful about electricity play with people who have any history of heart disease. I’d especially avoid doing electricity play
of any type
with someone who has a cardiac pacemaker.

Another guideline is “no electricity play above the waist.” This rule is useful but a bit simplistic. Among other things, it implies that play below the waist is completely safe, which it isn’t. (Certainly, however, the practice ofhooking one electrode to a nipple and the second electrode to the other nipple and running current between them should be mentioned only to be condemned.) Keep in mind that excessive or lengthy electricity play
anywhere
on the body can cause burns and/or bloodclots in that area; if you want to spend a long time playing with electricity, move the area of play from one body part to another, and don’t go back to playing with an area that’s been extensively shocked for at least a couple of days.

An electrical current passing through a muscle will cause that muscle to contract. A strong current may cause a violent spasm and result in muscle strains, sprains, and occasionally even fractures, particularly if the affected part is in bondage. Muscle spasms may also cause “post-whipping flu,” which is discussed later in the “General Safety Precautions” chapter.

Electricity can cause cardiac arrest. Most people don’t know that the amount of current necessary to stop the heart can be very small - less than one amp. If you play with electricity at all, you must be prepared to deal with a cardiac arrest. This means being trained in CPR, and perhaps even having advanced life support equipment handy.

Slow masturbation turns a man’s mind to mush. It’s big fun.

Electricity does not do what you think it is doing. Electricity does what it does, and it’s your job to figure out what that is. Study it well before trying it. Consult with experienced players; however, keep in mind that some such players are genuine experts, and others don’t really know that much more than you do (their “expertise” often boils down to “Well, I haven’t killed anybody yet”).

The violet wand, originally created as a hair restoration device, is an exception to many of the guidelines for electricity play. It puts out a blue-violet “spark” of electricity which is especially dramatic in a darkened room. Devotees describe its sensation as feeling like “being walked on by kittens with their claws out.” Unlike conventional electrical toys, which can send a current of electricity into the body’s muscles and organs, the electricity put out by a violet wand stays on the skin’s surface. Thus, it is the only electricity toy which most players feel is safe for above-the-waist use. Keep it away from the eyes, and use extra caution while playing near breaks in the skin, piercings, and mucous membranes. (The regular cautions about electricity play with people who have heart disease, and especially pacemakers, apply to violet wands as well.) Be aware that prolonged use on skin may leave a slight-to-moderate sunburn-like effect. Also be aware that violet wands generate ozone, which is somewhat toxic; make sure that your play space is well ventilated.

Blade play.
Given their long real-world history as implements of terror, torture, and even murder, it is small wonder that many SM people are sensually attuned to knifeplay. Many of us find something extremely erotic in the sight of a gleaming steel blade pressed against tender skin. Knives and other edged implements offer a tremendous spectrum of physical sensations and emotional experiences, often very powerful.

A wide variety of knives and blades come into play in SM. Knives themselves vary from foot-long bowie knives to small penknives. Knives can be kept razor-sharp, or left a bit dull for safety (there’s no rule saying you have to reveal the sharpness of your blade to your submissive, though!). They can be rigid or they can fold. The blade itself may be straight or curved, serrated or plain. Knife enthusiasts may own several knives for different types of scenes.

In addition to knives, scene play may include razors (both safety and straight-edged), scissors, swords, hatchets, scalpels, and even machetes.

All blades have one thing in common: they
are scary.
Even the tamest little knife has the potential to maim or kill. I am something of a fan of knife play, particularly when I bottom, and I’ll tell you that a woman sitting between your legs, smiling and toying with a sharp knife, is a real attention-getter!

If you want to get me off, you’re going to have to hurt me.

Knife play is, obviously, emotionally very intense. It also carries a far higher degree of physical risk than many other kinds of SM play. I mean, come on, we’re talking about a situation in which one person strips another one naked, ties them securely, and then takes out a
knife,
for heaven’s sake, and begins to menace them with it. I hope it goes without saying that knife play should be very carefully negotiated, and that you should do it only with partners who you know well and trust implicitly.

So what kinds of things can you do with a knife or other blade? Well, let’s talk first about what you’re
not
going to do. You’re not going to actually lacerate the skin (in other words, sutures will not be needed afterwards). You’re not going to cause actual puncture wounds. You’re not going to intentionally cause any kind of serious damage.