SM 101: A Realistic Introduction (39 page)

You can place the clamps in a row along the line of skin running up the middle of his scrotum, or you can place one clamp directly over each testicle. (Pinch the scrotal skin, not the testicle itself). For an initial session, you probably should use only two clothespins. Some experienced, masochistic men can accept a dozen or more clamps on their scrotum.

As with clamping the nipples, you can pull on, twist, and further pinch the clamp. Again, as with nipples, do so gradually - especially at first or when playing with a new partner.

Clamps applied to the scrotum tend to shake if the penis is stimulated by masturbation, fellatio, or intercourse. This shaking increases the pain. Men vary in how they feel about that. Some love it; some don’t.

About one to three clamps can be applied to the mal
perineum.
Most men can tolerate clamping here.

One advantage to clamping the perineum: placing the clamps so far away from the penis allows it almost complete freedom. Sexual intercourse is often possible with clamps placed here. One disadvantage to damping the perineum: anal play is difficult because you must be careful to avoid bumping the damps. If he’s careful, a man with a clamped perineum can still kneel. All in all, clamping a man’s perineum has much to recommend it.

If he’s uncircumcised, his
foreskin
offers distinct possibilities. Its sensitivity varies widely from one man to the next; I’d suggest starting with only one or two clamps and seeing how he reacts to those. Several dominants I talked to particularly cited the devious trick of pulling the foreskin up over the end of the penis and clamping it closed. They also enjoyed placing a circle of clamps arond the end of the foreskin, a trick sometimes known as the “crown of thorns.”

Clamps are often placed along the underside of the
penis
shaft. The junction of the penis shaft with the scrotum is a favorite spot. A second intense spot is the junction of the shaft and head. A third spot is the junction of the top of the penis and the abdominal wall.

The skin of the penis needs to be somewhat loose in order for clamps to be applied. Therefore, this technique is not used too much in combination with cock rings and other devices that immobilize the skin over the shaft.

Clamps applied near the tip limit what else you can do to or with the penis. On the other hand, masturbation games, fellatio, and
(maybe)
intercourse are possible if the clamps are applied near the base.

The
head of the penis
is exquisitely sensitive. Many masochistic men, who enjoy having other areas of their genitals clamped, have great difficulty accepting clamps on the head of their penis. On the other hand, highly masochistic men often love having the head of their penis clamped.

I am erotically sophisticated. You are kinky. He is a pervert.

You can place one large clamp directly on the head of the penis. Then you can either play with this clamp - pulling, twisting, and so forth - or leave it alone while you play elsewhere. You can also masturbate and/or lick the penis, and might be able to suck on it if you so choose.

One variation is to use very small clamps, such as small, plastic clothespins (sometimes called “tormentor clamps”) along the ridge of skin at the bottom of the penis tip (the corona). This can be exquisitely painful but, unlike a bigger clamp on the tip, does not block ejaculation.

One caution: Even highly masochistic men are often grateful to have penis-tip clamps removed after about 30 minutes. Many can tolerate it only for far shorter periods of time.

Clamping the female genitals.
Clamps can be applied to her outer lips, inner lips, perineum, and clitoris.

The
outer labia
are often surprisingly tolerant of clamps. In particular, many women who can’t handle clamps on their nipples can handle clamps on their outer labia without great difficulty. If the clamps aren’t too long, and if she is careful, she can kneel while wearing clamps here. For a first session, one clothespin on each labia is about as far as you should go. Two on each labia are about as many as even experienced women can tolerate for any length of time.

An obvious disadvantage to clamping the female genitals is that it makes it difficult to do anything else through that forest of clamps. It’s possible to masturbate her, use a vibrator (touch it to the clamps and watch her reaction), or perform cunnilingus, but sexual intercourse is all but out of the question.

One caution: Anal intercourse
may
be possible if the labia are damped, but be careful the penis or dildo doesn’t slip out and thrust against a clamp. The sharp pain that results could cause her to scream, or even faint.

You can combine damps on the labia with items inserted into the vagina and/or anus such as ben wa balls, a butt plug, or a penis-shaped vibrator. Ropes run between her labia will hold these items in place.

The
inner labia
are both fragile and tender, and therefore are to be clamped cautiously if at all. Most women cannot tolerate clamps here for long. I suggest you stick with clamping the outer labia.

It’s difficult to clamp a woman’s
perineum.
It’s a very small place, and you will probably find it difficult to pinch a fold of skin there. Also, clamping her perineum will interfere with both vaginal and anal play. All in all, damping her perineum tends to be more trouble than it’s worth.

Obviously, placing a clothespin on a woman’s
clitoris
is highly painful. Her reaction will depend on how masochistic and how aroused she is. I have known a few highly masochistic women who reached orgasm after orgasm from this. (It is, after all, something of the ultimate in clitoral stimulation.) Most women, however, could only handle having a clamp on their dit for a few minutes. Many couldn’t handle it at all.

Look at these clamps that I bought in the Philippines.

I suggest that you allow a woman one or two sessions of having clamps only on her outer labia before you consider clamping her clitoris. It’s far too painful for most women to enjoy, and causes many to lose their arousal completely.

One final note: Even women who intensely enjoy having a clamp on their clitoris usually feel grateful if it’s removed after half an hour or so.

Clamping her clitoris is a significant act. Do so only after proper negotiation and build-up.

Clamping Other Parts of the Body

Almost anyplace on the body where a fold of skin can be pinched can also be clamped. Many people do not find having clamps anywhere except their nipples and/or genitals particularly erotic. However, extra clamps can add to the atmosphere and intensity of the session.

Some people like a lot of damps, and some masochists achieve profound trance states while wearing many damps. I have personally seen more than 100 used on a submissive at once, and I have heard of more than 1000 being used (presumably on a very large submissive).

Other body parts. The
earlobes
are often the third choice, after the nipples and genitals. They cause little interference and submissives usually tolerate them well for brief periods. It’s interesting to perform oral sex while wearing them.

Clamping the
ear’s cartilage is
very painful. A clamp placed here is significantly more painful than a clamp placed on the earlobe. Best used only with masochists. Try this on yourself.

Having a whole lot of clamps on my skin is about the only thing that’ll make me shut up during a scene.

The
eyebrows
are intense, but I feel nervous about having clamps this close to the eyes.

Obviously, it’s dangerous to clamp the
nose
shut, but a clamp applied to the septum, or one to each side of the nose, can be interesting.

The
lips
are a very sensitive place to which you can attach many clamps. Five can usually be applied to either the upper or lower lip. Sometimes a submissive can be “gagged” by clamping their upper and lower lips together. Obviously, if the lips are gagged this way, the mouth can’t be used for much. Also, because they have a rich blood supply, lips tend to bruise. Be careful to avoid leaving “clamp hickeys.”

The
tongue
offers an interesting, intense sensation. Obviously puts the mouth out of action for much else. Safety note: I have occasionally seen “tongue bondage” in which a line is attached to something damped onto the tongue or the line is tied to the tongue itself. In one photo set I saw in an SM magazine, a young woman was placed in a standing position with her hands tied behind her back and her tongue tied to an overhead eye-bolt. Obviously, this is wildly unsafe (and therefore the type of SM imagery we should oppose). If that woman had tripped or fainted, her tongue could very easily have been ripped out. I wish SM magazines would stop printing photos like that. Such images send an inaccurate, damaging message of what SM involves.

Clamps can be easily applied to folds of skin on the submissive’s
neck.
These are usually tolerated well and interfere little. It’s interesting to perform oral sex with clamps attached to your neck. Keep in mind that the neck’s skin is usually visible while wearing ordinary street clothing. Be careful to avoid “clamp hickeys.
^»

Dominants often apply damps to folds of skin on the
chest andchest and breasts
in addition to the clamps they apply to the submissive’s nipples. Clamps here are not exceptionally painful and are usually well-tolerated. Sometimes these clamps are placed in a line that “marches” across the nipples - a hot sight.

Backs, arms, stomachs and legs offer
a lot of “real estate” for clamps. The scenes I’ve mentioned with hundreds of clamps usually include long, closely spaced rows of clothespins in these areas. Inner thighs, underarms and lower bellies are particularly sensitive.

The
belly button
is a playful spot to clamp. Not particularly painful; usually well-tolerated. Many submissives can handle one or two clamps here.

A fold of skin on the
buttocks,
just beside the perineum and behind the anus, can often accept one or two clamps on each side. The buttocks themselves accept clamps easily and are not terribly painful.

Summary. Clamps offer a highly controllable, highly versatile means of exploring erotic pain. Provided you understand their limits and dangers as well as you understand their potential, they offer a lot.

Postscript: While my New York City days are decades behind me, I’m told that “New York SM” is supposedly more rigid and builds in intensity faster than the purportedly more mellow “California SM.” While the SM New Yorkers I’ve met out here have denied it, I’ve heard that “they” have a saying in New York about “us” out here in California: “Well, they
do
use nipple clamps out there in California, but they hang little crystals from the ends of them.”

Lubricants: Advantages, Disadvantages, and Dangers

Lubricants, creams, gels, and so forth are excellent adjuncts to SM erotic play. In addition to adding (often very considerably) to the pleasure of those involved, lubricants can be used to help prevent pregnancy, relieve vaginal dryness, and reduce the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Menthol-containing lubricants cause a distinctly “hot” sensation when applied to the genitals, so some people use them for erotic play. I’ve discussed such lubricants in the “Erotic Torture” section.

Almost all lubricants can be grouped into one of two basic categories: oil-based and water-based. Oil-based lubricants generally stay slippery considerably longer than water-based lubricants. Unfortunately, these days they have a major, life-threatening property: oil-based lubricants rapidly dissolve latex. Therefore, any latex product that gets smeared with an oil-based lubricant will fall apart much sooner than it otherwise would.

If you are in a situation where you need to use a latex condom or other latex protective device, keep oil-based lubfiamtt away from it.

Come over here and do the most submissive thing you can think of.

The single most important thing you need to know about a lubricant is whether it is water-based or oil-based. If you are not 100% sure, you would be very wise to assume that it’s oil-based and treat it accordingly.

The next most important thing you need to know about a lubricant is whether or not it contains nonoxynol-9. Some people believe that only water-based lubricants contain nonoxynol-9 and, therefore, believe that if they buy a lubricant containing nonoxynol-9 they are automatically buying a water-based lubricant. This is simply not true. While most oil-based lubricants do not contain nonoxynol-9, I know of at least two different brands that do. Water-based lubricants usually plainly state that fact. Read the label carefully.

If you can, find out what percentage of nonoxynol-9 is present. Ordinary lubricants typically contain about 1% (and usually don’t state the percentage on the label). Contraceptive gels tend to run 2% or a bit higher.

I have long believed that nonoxynol-9 should be used more widely than it is now. While some people are sensitive to it, most can use it with no problems, and it contributes a lot toward helping to fight unplanned pregnancy and many sexually transmitted diseases.

Water-based lubes can be used with condoms and other devices, but they tend to dry out and get “sticky” much more quickly than oil-based lubes. Therefore, smart players keep a small supply of water close by. This can either be something like a “finger bowl” or a separate bottle just for holding water. Sometimes the lubricant-containing bottle and the water-containing bottle are glued or taped together so one doesn’t get quite so easily “lost.” One caution: When you need to add water, add only a few drops. You can, for all practical purposes, wash the lubricant (and its benefits) away if you add too much water. Every now and then add more lubricant instead of adding more water.