SM 101: A Realistic Introduction (43 page)

I love being bitten.

Fill ’er Up

Many women report that their orgasms feel more intense and satisfying if there’s something in their vagina when they come. Keep this in mind when masturbating a woman or performing cunnilingus.

Perineum Pinch

One man reports that many different women enjoy having him insert his index finger in their anus and his thumb in their vagina. These are then pinched together, thrust in and out, rocked back and forth, twisted, and so forth.

Make A Snake

Straighten out your hands as you might do while praying and hold his penis between them. Then rub your hands back and forth, as you might do when handling cooking dough or modeling clay.

This trick has great variability. You can change-among other things - how fast you rub your hands, when you start and stop, whether or not to indude the sensitive head ofhis penis, and both what type and how much (if any) lubricant you use while doing this.

If you’re feeling like being extra nice to him, take the head of his penis in your mouth while you apply this stroke to the shaft.

Up and Down I

This is a trick for masturbating a man that requires a bit of coordination at first, but is very powerful once you get the hang of it.

If you watch a man masturbate, you’ll see that he typically uses one hand to stroke his penis in an up and down motion. All well and good.

You can add some variety and spice to this by using one of your hands only for upstrokes and the other only for downstrokes. One way to learn how to do this is to have him lie on his back while you sit or kneel (whatever is comfortable) between his legs. Lightly grasp the base of his penis with your right hand and gently hold its tip with your left. (This trick usually works best when both his penis and your hands are well-lubricated.)

Stroke upwards with your right hand. Use a slow speed at first. When your right hand passes “through” the fingers of your left and off the top of his penis, grasp it with your left hand and slide down its shaft.

While your left hand is sliding down, move your right hand slightly away and back to the base of his penis. After your left hand slides down and away, repeat the upstroke with your right hand. While the upstroke is going on, your left hand returns to the head of the penis so its stroke can be repeated. Both hands move in oval-like shapes, and both move in either a clockwise or counter-clockwise direction. Of course, that direction can be reversed.

Up and Down II

Lubricate both hands. Grab his cock with both hands at its base and hold it like you would a baseball bat. Keep your lower hand still while you slide your upper hand up and off the head of his penis. As your upper hand slides off, raise your lower hand up and off. Your upper then returns to the base and repeats the journey, and so does the lower. Vary the speed and pressure of your hands as seems right. Experiment. This sensation makes the man feel as if he were constantly withdrawing from a vagina. It can be very powerful.

A simple yet intense variant of this technique is to move your hands one over the other in a downward motion, so it feels to him like he’s constantly entering a vagina. Of course, you can also do one stroke for a while, and then the other.

Sexual Heeling

Place the heel of your hand on her vaginal area with her clitoris at the bottom center of your palm, then vibrate your hand.

Do the Twist

The lower edge of the tip of a man’s penis (the corona) is very sensitive to touch, perhaps the most sensitive part of all. Therefore, tongues, fingers, and other items can be used to good effect here.

One excellent way to make masturbation more intense and pleasurable is to give your hand a light twist as it passes over the corona in the down-to-up direction. To illustrate, make your hand into a not-too-tight fist with your thumb on top of your index finger. Hold this in front of you so your thumb is pointed straight ahead. Now turn your fist so it’s facing palm-up and slide your thumb slightly toward the floor. You have just done the basic twist.

Use this twist lightly (too much pressure may spoil it) and you will dramatically improve the quality of the hand jobs you give.

A Movable Fist

This trick is useful when masturbating or performing oral sex on your partner. Make one hand into a fist and place it just behind their genitals. The thumb side of your fist should point forward and the little finger side of your fist should point to their rear. Thrust upward against their body. The strength of this thrust can be anywhere from very light to very heavy, depending on what works for both of you. The strength can also be varied. As an extra touch, you can vibrate your fist.

I like a top with brains.

Open Says Me

For many women, the sensation of being “opened” carries a heavy erotic charge. With her lying on her back, try holding her legs together as you run your tongue up and down the seam where her thighs meet, teasing the pubic hair and dipping your tongue in the

deft as though you were trying to reach her clit, but you can’t quite. Open her legs after you feel she has suffered enough, but pinch her labia majora shut with your fingers and continue the teasing. Next, spread her majora lips with your hands while you suck the minora lips (together so you keep them shut). Then treat her to the final opening. The tension created can be exquisite and sets the stage for the first full-contact lick of her cunt being almost (note the
almost)
unbearable. Enjoy!

A-one and A-two and A-three

Try inserting your first two fingers into her, then arch your thumb back “hitch-hiker” style, and thrust in until your thumb rests against her clitoris. You can use a variety of thrusting and twisting motions in this position. You can also vibrate your entire hand.

The Trident

When masturbating her, try placing your thumb on her clitoris, your first three fingers in her vagina, and your little finger in her anus. Major Safety Note: Make sure your fingernails are short and smooth, especially the nail on your little finger. Test this by scraping your nails against the inside of your opposite forearm. If doing so feels sharp, rough, or jagged, file them down. In a worst case situation, a jagged nail could pierce the intestinal wall, so be careful here. She should never feel any sharp pain in her anus.

Give Him A Wring

Grip his cock between your two (probably well-lubricated) hands. Your uppermost hand should include the top of his penis in your grip. Twist your hands together until your thumbs are pointing in the same direction, then twist your hands apart until your thumbs are pointing in parallel-but-opposite directions. Repeat this stroke, varying speed and grip strength, as appropriate.

Guess what! I had my first female e jaculation yesterday!

Close But No Cigar

If your lover has a particular spot that they like to have licked or caressed, try doing so very close to but
not quite
on that spot - except perhaps occasionally. This trick will make them take longer to reach their orgasm, but they will likely have a much stronger, more powerful orgasm when it does finally happen.

As a variant, you can do the “not quite on target” until they get close to coming, then - if you’re feeling benevolent - switch to the target itself, thus earning their gratitude.

Ball Pull

While using your hand and/or mouth to pleasure his penis, encircle the top of his scrotum with the thumb and forefinger of your other hand. Squeeze this ring together until it’s snug and his testicles are “trapped” below it. Slowly and lightly pull down until the skin of his scrotum is pulled tight over his testicles. Lightly pull just a little more for about five seconds while you continue to pleasure his penis. Then release the pull (keep your hand in place). Closely watch his face, breathing, and body for a reaction. Repeat, varying the strength and the length of the pull while you mix it with large amounts of pleasure.

Men will vary considerably in their reaction to this trick. Some will find it so painful as to be a turn-off and want you to stop. Others will like it and want you to continue. Some will
really
like it and want you to pull down considerably harder. (Don’t get carried away. This trick, carried to extremes, could damage him.) Getting feedback from him on how long and how hard he wants the pull to be is an excellent idea.

Tes Tickles

Once you have his balls “trapped” as described in “Ball Pull,” you can lick, caress, and lightly scratch the tightly stretched skin over them to excellent effect.

Pin and Win

Normally, when you lick a nipple, it moves back and forth under your tongue, and some sensation is therefore lost. To prevent this, spread your index and middle finger slightly apart and place them on either side. (Don’t push down on the chest so much that you cause pain.) Once they’re in place, spread them even farther apart. Your lover’s nipple may noticeably bulge out as you do this. Now, with the nipple in this exposed and immobile position, apply your tongue and notice the difference.

Before and After

During his orgasm, and for about one minute afterward, the head of a man’s penis is likely to be
much
more sensitive to touch that it is at other times. Therefore, any touching there is felt much more intensely than it is felt at other times - so much so that touching it may be painful. (I know one dominant woman who would, when her submissive male reached orgasm, mercilessly rub and twiddle the head of his cock for exactly that reason.)

Some men like to have the head of their cock rubbed briskly when they come, some like to have it left alone, and some like to have it lightly stroked. Your partner can tell you which he likes. Just remember that strokes which felt wonderful to him before he reached orgasm may feel agonizing during and immediately afterward. What the two of you feel like doing with that information is for you to decide between yourselves.

Milking It for All It’s Worth

When a man comes, the sensations of orgasm mix with the sensations of semen passing through his penis. Interestingly enough, his orgasm usually doesn’t pump all the semen out of his penis. Some remains behind. During masturbation or fellatio, a considerate lover can give him a tiny “extra” orgasm by pinching his cock lightly but firmly and “milking” this remaining fluid from his penis after his regular orgasm has finished.

You can even put your finger on the base of his penis and your thumb at the rear top of his scrotum and milk that section forward, then bring your hand forward and milk the penis from base to tip, producing a more complete emptying. (Be sure you don’t painfully squeeze his testicles while doing this.)

Your lover can try this technique when he masturbates to find out what method feels best, then teach it to you.

This can also be done by him, and perhaps by you, during vaginal or anal intercourse. Withdraw the penis most (not all) of the way, milk it, then reinsert. Ah, bliss.

Jilling Off

Many of the male-masturbation strokes described above can be equally well applied - with, of course, the necessary adjustments - to the clitoris.

A Warm, Wet Touch

Our genitals remain very sensitive after we’ve had sex. One thing that feels great is to get a washrag moistened with warm, wet water and place it there. I once had a lover that, as I was lying there feeling somewhat exhausted, would get up, prepare the washrag, and place it on me. Oh, bliss! To this day, I have fond memories of her.

Safety note: Make sure the water is comfortably warm, but not too hot! Test it on your elbow before placing it on them.

Humiliation

Of all SM-related subjects, humiliation is probably the most difficult to understand and agree upon. One problem is that it means different things to different people. Another problem is that the term itself causes such a strong emotional reaction that people have difficulty understanding what is involved. (This, of course, is exactly the same problem faced by SM folks.) Tremendous differences of opinion exist about what activities humiliation involves, and both the personal and interpersonal implications of those activities. Within the SM community, when one person says to another, “I’m into humiliation,” the almost universal reply is, “What do you mean by that?”

What does it mean to humiliate somebody? Basically, it means to reduce them in status, usually in an embarrassing or mortifying way. As I said, opinions vary
widely
on what constitutes humiliation. Some common activities which may be considered humiliating include face-slapping, spitting, urinating or defecating on the submissive, giving the submissive an enema, ejaculating on the submissive’s face or body, having the submissive lick up their own ejaculate, having the submissive play the role of an animal or an infant, forcing the submissive to wear a revealing or absurd costume, having the submissive urinate or defecate in their clothing, “forced feminization,” foot worship, crawling, and groveling. There are, of course, others.

I’d love to be made to cat out of a dog dish.

Key point: Humiliation is mainly a state of mind. (As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Nobody can humiliate you without your consent.”) For an experience to be humiliating, the submissive must consider it humiliating. For some submissives, humiliation is a joy and a source of arousal; for others, it’s an ordeal that they may or may not be willing - or able - to undergo.

For example, take the relatively commonplace order, “Kneel!” To somesubmissives, kneeling is an expected, even welcome, aspect ofsubmitting. They have no problem with it and often enjoy doing this. Other submissives find this “simple” act intensely humiliating. Some submissives find wearing a collar humiliating; others consider it a privilege. I’ve also known submissives who happily undergo experiences that many would consider terribly humiliating, such as drinking urine.