Starless Nights (Hale Brothers Series Book 2) (13 page)

“I have.” He smiles a little.

“Are you excited to go home and see your friends?”

The smile drops and now he looks uncomfortable again.

“Not really, I’d rather stay here.” His head hangs and he looks at his feet.

“Oh really, why?” Matt is so hard to read. He’s always been very closed off and quiet.

“Because, I love being with Beau.” He looks back up at me and stands a little taller. “Leila, why are you always so mean to him?”

What?

“Why do you think that I am mean to him?”

“Because . . . every time he is around you, he comes home sad.”

This causes me to frown. “I don’t understand. Why do you think he’s sad?”

He pushes the hair out of his face and his cheeks turn a little pink. “Well, let’s see. He cried when you moved. He cried when you came back. His entire junior year, especially going into the summer he was sad. He was sad after he saw you at the coffee shop and he’s been sad this whole weekend. Stop being mean to him.”

He cried when I moved? That’s not the way things were told to me. And he cried when I moved back? Then why did he ignore me and say we weren’t friends? None of this makes any sense to me. Matt is young. He must have it wrong.

“Matt, I don’t really know anything about him being sad, but I can tell you that I’m not being mean to him . . . we just aren’t friends anymore.”

“Well, why not? You two have known each other for a long time and are around each other a lot!” He’s confused and getting flustered.

“Have you ever had a girlfriend?” I’m trying to come up with an example where I think he can best understand Beau and me.

“No.”

“Well, one day you will and should the two of you not work out you’ll see how hard it is to be friends.”

“You were his girlfriend?”

“Sort of . . . at one time.”

“What happened? You two used to be best friends.”

“I don’t know. I guess you could say he didn’t want me to be his best friend anymore.” My heart aches and tears fill my eyes. He sees this and freezes.

“What did you do?” he whispers out.

“I don’t know.” And that’s the truth. I have no idea what I ever did to him to make him not want to be friends with me anymore.

“You should ask him.”

“Maybe.” If only it were that simple.

TIME SLIPPED BY, and before I knew it, July was over and August had arrived. The leaves on the trees in the parks are noticeably darker, and the neighborhood slowly began to get more crowded with students returning. Charlie and I fell back into our comfortable routine as the seasons started to change. The excitement that came along with the approach of fall filled the air. With Fashion Week just around the corner, every free second that I had, I spent working on my designs to complete the collection, and desperately tried to not think of Beau.

The morning after my conversation with Matt, I quietly said my goodbyes to Ali and Drew, and snuck out of the house without having to see Beau, Matt, or their mom. I didn’t get much sleep and most of the night I laid there thinking about the things that Matt said. If he thinks that I’m mean to Beau, do others think that too? I just don’t understand anything.

Having nowhere to be, I ended up driving to Charlie’s parent’s house, and he welcomed me with open arms as I stepped out of the car.

At that moment, being with him, someone who cares for me, I couldn’t help the tears as they started to fall.

“Hey, what’s this?”

He wrapped his hands around my face and looked in my eyes. The emotion in his voice was so sincere, I cried even harder.

“Sweetheart, I think maybe I’ve seen you cry once in the last year. I’m kind of concerned right now, and I think it’s time you spill it and tell me truth.”

“The truth about what?” I sniff, secretly willing him to not ask what I know he wants to know.

He pulled back and gave me a knowing look, “Beau.”

My shoulders fell.

“You know you’ll feel better once you do,” he said quietly, still looking at me curiously.

I’d never talked about Beau to anyone, not even Ali. She suspected a few things and I may have mentioned some things in passing, but we’d never had a heart to heart conversation over him. Besides, he’s her family now anyway. That made everything different.

“Okay,” I said in defeat.

Charlie deserved to know the truth. We’d been together—side by side—for almost a year and a half, and it seemed unfair to keep secrets. If he’d kept them from me, I’d probably feel a little hurt too. He took me by the hand, we walked around the back of his parent’s house, curled up in a large wooden swing, and I told him everything. I watched his face as he listened to every detail.

“Leila, I hate to say this to you, but none of it adds up. Don’t shoot the messenger here, but as a third party outsider, you called him a coward, but yet you were one just as much as him. After all that time, and all those years together, you should have demanded answers from him, and only him, no one else.”

“Probably, but it’s too late now.”

“I don’t think so. I saw the way he looked at you the other morning in the café.”

“How was he looking at me?”

“Like you are the sun, the moon . . . and the stars.”

At Charlie’s use of the word stars, my tears returned. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pushed off the ground with his foot. The swing rocked us and I closed my eyes.

Charlie was right, I did feel better after telling him about Beau. The weight of all of the details of our ‘relationship’ over the years had taken its toll and it was crushing me. Along with the constant heartache, I felt like I was breaking.

Interestingly though, since that afternoon, Charlie and I have grown closer. It wasn’t that we weren’t close before, but now he knows all of my secrets and there’s nothing left to hide. With him, I don’t have to pretend anymore that Beau is just some guy from my past, when he so clearly is a part of my present too. Charlie understands that seeing him and having to interact with him, can send me into an emotional tailspin and as much as I wish I could say that I didn’t love him anymore, I still do.

BLK frequently has me drop by their headquarters, which fortunately for me, is fine with my boss. She loves Fashion Week and has been very accommodating and supportive. She just switched my schedule and now has me opening on Saturdays to make up for lost time.

The Saturday crowd is different than that of the weekday crowd. Patrons wander in and tend to not leave. All of the tables and chairs are usually filled and it’s nice to see the same regulars week after week.

Charlie loves to come and sit in the window while I work, people watch, and play ‘I spy’.

One night after too many glasses of wine, we were sitting at an outside bistro table, and we turned the classic “I spy” children’s game into something more. We would spy on random people as they passed by and then together, we would make up an elaborate story about who they were, where they were going, or what they did in life. Since then, the game has kind of stuck and we’ve had hours of laughs together.

“Leila, aren’t you off the clock yet?” he asks as I walk his way with two fresh lattes.

“Yep, just finished.”

“Perfect, sit for a minute. The scenery this morning has been amazing.”

I can’t help but giggle. His eyes are playful and happy. I sit in the empty seat next to him.

“I spy something with my big brown eyes, and it’s that lady across the street walking her dog. Now what makes this lady so interesting is that the only reason she could possibly be wearing a matching outfit to her dog is because she is headed down to the theater district to audition for a children’s show titled,
Here’s Why My Owner is Crazy
! And the best part is, they are both wearing animal print. She wrapped her animal in an animal. That is just wrong on so many levels.”

I throw my head back and laugh. I hadn’t realized they were both in animal print until he pointed it out.

“Theater audition, huh?”

“Most definitely.”

I glance back out the window but my eyes catch on someone else. All of the air stops in my lungs and I gasp.

Beau has stopped in front of the café doors and he looks like he is having a conversation with himself about coming in. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in weeks and my emotions are split right down the middle. I’ve become used to missing him, but since that last conversation on the beach, it seems to have become worse. Seeing him makes me so happy. I feel like if my skin wasn’t holding me together, I would burst all over the place, but at the same time, instead of my heart slowing down to the peace that I know he can bring me, it speeds up because he also brings heartache. A heartache that is so dull and low lying, it never leaves and constantly reminds me of what I’ll never have.

For a fleeting second, as I watch him, the thought that he might be purposely coming here just to see me enters my mind. I inwardly scold myself because that’s doubtful and unrealistic. Knowing Beau, I just gave myself false hope in his sudden appearance.

He shoves one hand into his pocket, reaches for the door, and walks in.

Just like he always has, he takes my breath away. He’s wearing khaki pants, a black V-neck T-shirt that makes his arms look lean and strong, and a pair of flip flops. He’s recently had a haircut and his face has a light stubble on it. He could easily step off the page of a Calvin Klein ad.

Standing in the doorway, he scans the café and scowls when his eyes land on me. My heart sinks because he looks angry and I don’t know what I’ve done.

Climbing out of the chair, I slowly approach him smiling.

“Hey, I saw you stop outside and I was wondering if you were going to come in.”

“Yeah, I was trying to decide on whether or not I really want a cup of coffee.” He looks past me and at Charlie.

“So what did you decide?” I ask him.

His eyes come back to mine and it’s as if they’ve somehow darkened and become harder.

“I’m here aren’t I?” His tone is sharp and it stings. He lets out a deep sigh, “I’m sorry Leila that sounded bad.” He looks back toward the door and runs his hand through his hair.

“It’s alright. Have a seat and I’ll go get it for you.” I walk away as quickly as I can. I’m angry at myself for always thinking of him, craving him, and so desperately wanting to see him. Every time things end badly. Not once in what feels like forever have we had a good moment that hasn’t turned sour. If anything, by now, all of these bad moments probably outnumber the good ones.

I pour the coffee and peek up at Beau and Charlie. He has taken my seat and I can’t help but watch the two of them interact. Charlie starts laughing and Beau has stopped scowling. In a perfect world, they would learn to become friends, but then again, in a perfect world he would see me as more than just a girl he once knew and felt a responsibility for.

“Leila, guess what?” Charlie says as I return with the coffee.

“What?” I say, never taking my eyes off of Beau.

“Beau was just saying how he doesn’t have any plans this afternoon, and I know that you don’t either, so the two of you should hang out. You could catch up and reminisce about the good old days.”

I’m not sure what type of expression is plastered on my face, but Charlie smirks at me and tilts his head toward Beau. My eyes follow and Beau is looking at Charlie with complete horror.

Well, there’s my answer to if he ever wondered what it would be like to spend some time together. My heart sinks.

Giving him the easy out, I say, “It’s alright, I’m sure you have something that you need to do . . .” Besides, I need to be in my studio all afternoon hand stitching beads to the evening wear portion of my collection. Charlie knows this.

Beau blinks and the shutters in his beautiful hazel eyes slam into place. The three of us remain still, while Beau regards me with what looks like caution and annoyance.

“Sure, I was just headed home if that sounds alright to you?”

He wants me to go home with him? He wants to spend time with me? I’m lost in my head, staring at him, until he raises his eyebrows in question.

“Um sure, I just need to grab my bag from the back.” Turning quickly, I fly through the café and the saloon doors to the kitchen, snatch up my things, and head back out front.