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I was in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee when
Jeremy and Dean came in. I checked my watch, surprised. “Are you
guys just getting home from last night?”

They exchanged a knowing look- something happened.
Dean kissed me on the cheek, but didn’t smile like he always did.
“Have a good trip, kiddo,” he said, before he stalked off to his
room.

“Hey,” I called out. “I baked some muffins. They’re
blueberry, your favorite.”

Jeremy, on the other hand, appeared enraged. Which
caused me to stumble some.

“What are you doing, Maggie?” Jeremy asked, stepping
over my suitcase to get closer to me.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean with this guy? Do you love him?”

I placed my cup in the sink to avoid a showdown with
him. “I don’t know. He’s been really good to me. I owe him so
much.”

I felt Jer step closer to me. “But do you love him?
Because if you don’t know, then you need to leave him alone.”

“Jeremy, I’m trying to figure stuff out right
now.”

“You’re killing Luke, Maggie. You have no idea what
this is doing to him, but I do, because I saw what it did when you
left. And I see what it’s doing to him now. When we found you, I
could tell how much he wanted you back. To dig him out of that hole
he put himself into.”

“I know I hurt Luke. I don’t know how to fix this
yet.” I paused to turn around, catching the look of disdain he was
giving me. “I know Luke moved on eventually. He told me,” I
mumbled.

“Yeah, he did. Every weekend he ‘moved on’ after the
six months it took for him to realize you weren’t coming back.”

I grimaced picturing it.

“You think that’s bad? How about watching him call
your look-alike your name when your song came on at a bar one
night.”

I flinched.

“Yeah, Maggie, we were at a bar. He picked up this
chick, same height, same hair color, almost the same smile as you.
Your song came on and clear as fucking day, he held out his hand
and said to her, ‘Let’s go dance, Mags, they’re playing our song.’
Dean and I didn’t even know what to do.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I feel bad enough,
Jeremy. Why are you doing this?”

He kept going. “We finally got him back, then his
family died, and that still haunts him, but he started to come
back, Maggie.” He paused. “Do you know where we were last night? We
were bailing his sorry ass out of jail. He went to jail last night
because he was wasted, upset and got into a fight with some chick’s
boyfriend.”

“What? Where is he?” I was so upset, so many things
running around inside my head as I tried to rationalize what I’d
done.

“You don’t get to know that, Maggie. He doesn’t want
you to know. So you need to figure your shit out pronto, because
I’m sorry for what happened to you, but I will not let my friend go
back down that road. I swear he was on a death mission once you
left, and then he lost his family. No fucking way. Not again,
Maggie. Do you hear me?” he screamed.

I nodded, unable to say anything. Tears ran down my
cheeks listening to him yell at me. And I knew I deserved every
word that he said. Jeremy had never spoken to me that way-ever. I
was full-on sobbing, snot running down my face, when a horn honked
from outside. Jeremy glared out the window. “Looks like your cab’s
here. Better run off to New York.”

Grabbing my suitcase off the floor, I started for
the door, but turned. “I’ll be back on Tuesday.” Jeremy walked over
without saying a word, shoved me out the door, and slammed it shut.
I stood there for a second, trying to get hold of myself, but
realized I needed to do this. If I could save my relationship with
Luke this was the first step. Because I did not plan on being that
two-timing girl. I wiped the tears from my eyes, got in the cab to
catch my flight to Max, even though I was desperate to stay and
wait for Luke.

By the time I landed, it was already almost eight in
the evening East Coast time and pouring rain outside. Max was
waiting down in baggage when I stepped off the escalator. He
embraced me before my feet barely hit the floor. He smothered his
face into my neck, inhaling quickly. “Hey,” he said, grinning at
me.

“Hey yourself.”

Max grabbed my bag from my hand and draped his arm
over my shoulder. “It’s good to see you. It feels like
forever.”

I smiled up at him. “Yeah, it sure does. Thanks for
the plane ticket.”

Instead of saying anything, he kissed me
quickly.

We took a cab back to Max’s apartment. His place was
always much nicer than my dumpy little shoebox. Even so, every once
in a while I still missed having my own place.

“So, the girls want me to bring you by later. They
miss you. You up for it?” Max nestled me in his arms. I could tell
by the grins that he kept giving me that he wanted to do more than
just hold me tonight.

Max told me about work, the girls, updating me on
their lives in my absence. Apparently a new girl started, and her
presence has brought out the green-eyed monster from some of the
older girls. He told me that Jimmy finally brought his boyfriend,
Steven, in one night this week, and that everyone really liked him.
According to Max, they’re a good match. This brought a smile to my
face, happy that Jimmy felt comfortable enough with his staff to
show his true colors.

After dropping my bag off at his place, we grabbed
some dinner before going to the club. Normally Max would’ve been
working this weekend, but managed to score the weekend off after a
ridiculous amount of begging.

We entered through the club’s side door meant only
for employees. When we stepped into the dimly lit room, Shannon saw
me, instantly lighting up on the stage. She gave me her signature
wink. I smiled and waved.

“Well, it’s about damn time you got that cute little
ass back here,” a familiar voice sounded from behind me. I turned
around to see Jimmy, standing very close to a handsome young hottie
who had to be Steve.

“I’m glad you’re here, sweet thing.” Jimmy said. “If
I heard one more thing about how much this kid missed you, I was
going to fire him. He was bringing everyone down.”

“Aww,” I said, wrapping my arm around Max’s waist.
Max kissed the top of my head, and then ordered us drinks. I felt
the guilt start to work its way through with each glance, each
touch, each word.

It wasn’t until after one in the morning, and
several drinks, when Shannon managed to pull me up on stage with
her. Fully dressed. They tried to convince me to slip into one of
my old costumes back stage, but that wasn’t happening. When the
lights hit, and Shannon tugged me closer to her and the pole,
something changed in me. Everyone was hooting and hollering to get
me to dance, and when I did, I felt more free than I had in a long
time. Don’t ask me why, I just did. With each move, each lyric,
each beat of the music something faded away. I’d always thought I
had these huge neon letters on my forehead that told people I was
abused. With each dance those colors dimmed. It felt like no one
could see those blinking letters I thought they all could see. I
danced three songs before Max yanked me down, grinning from ear to
ear, before he kissed me so hard it took my breath away.

I smiled when he pulled away. Perspiration dripping
down my face, but it was exhilarating.

The new girl turned out to be Phoebe. She knew I’d
worked there, and apparently her auditions weren’t going as planned
and she needed the money. No wonder they were all jealous. She
really was stunning. Wait until I told Dean. Sadly, she didn’t even
ask how he was doing.

Once back at his place, Max grabbed a bottle of
water from the fridge before tugging me into his bedroom. He tossed
the water onto the bed, eyebrows raised, as he grinned at me. “Get
over here,” he said in his sexy, husky voice.

As I stepped closer, he pulled me into him, crashing
his lips onto mine. His hands roamed my body, under my shirt until
he found what he wanted. He cupped my breasts with both hands. A
moment later, he had my bra unclasped, yanking off my shirt. “I
missed you, Maggie. I missed this.”

His lips found mine again, and I tried to
concentrate on him, I did, but I kept hearing Jeremy screaming at
me, seeing the pain on Luke’s face when I told him I was going to
visit Max. I pulled away, but Max yanked me back to him. He backed
me up to his bed, softly pushing me down until he was lying on top
of me. I turned my head, trying to figure out what to do, but his
fingers grabbed my chin to make me focus on him.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

I shook my head, trying to stop the tears. “Nothing.
I’m just tired, I guess,” I lied.

“Oh,” he pulled back resting on outstretched palms
hovering over me. He studied my face for a minute, then said, “Do
you just want to go to sleep, then?”

“Do you mind? It’s been a really long day.” Great!
Now I was making lame excuses to avoid having sex with him.

“No, babe. I don’t mind.” He kissed me softly on the
lips and then rolled off the bed, heading for the bathroom.

What was wrong with me? I had this man, this
beautiful, sexy man who wanted me, who missed me, and I couldn’t do
it. I couldn’t do it to Luke. What was I going to do? I had to
choose, make a decision. A choice that was going to crush one of
them. I felt so awful, so mean, so trashy, so disloyal, so empty,
and so disgusting. And it really ticked me off, since the dancing
had me so jazzed earlier that I never wanted to come off that high.
And Luke missed seeing it.

But eventually, I did.

The next day was spent walking through Central Park
because he knew how much I loved it. We grabbed hot dogs and sodas
from one of the stands. Max even brought a small knapsack with a
plaid blanket.

“I have reservations for dinner tonight at eight. I
hope that’s okay with you?” I spent the entire day watching every
move that Max made, looking for the one thing to make my decision
easier. It was impossible to find a flaw-he was perfect.

“Of course. Where are we going?”

He grinned. “Ah, but that’s a surprise.”

I smiled and bit into my hot dog.

“I called the hospital to see if you could stop by
for an hour tomorrow. I thought you’d like to do that again.”

I wiped the mustard off my mouth. “Oh my God. That’s
perfect. I love that idea. You really think of everything, don’t
you?” And that right there was why Max had meant so much to me. He
knew exactly what to do to make me happy. However, it also made my
decision to pick one shot to hell.

He smiled but didn’t answer. My smile said enough.
He’d made me happy.

A few hours later Max was in the shower getting
ready for our date when my phone dinged. It was a message from
Jeremy.

Mags, come home please. Luke needs to see you.

I tapped on the bathroom door. “Hey, Max, I have a
call I need to make. Is it okay if I go out onto the balcony?”

He stuck his head out from the curtain. “You don’t
need to ask.”

As soon as I stepped outside, I tapped in his
number. Jeremy answered on the first ring. “Maggie, you need to
come home. Luke has been fucking going ballistic that you actually
went back.”

“Shit!” I paced the little balcony. “What would you
like me to do, Jer? My flight isn’t until Tuesday.”

“I don’t know, Maggie. Dean and I came home and Luke
was passed out in bed. We thought he was just drunk, but then his
bottle of Xanax was on the floor-empty. It was empty, Maggie.”

I almost dropped the phone. What had I done? “Oh
God! Oh God! Please tell me he’s okay, Jeremy?”

“Yeah. He was still conscious, but I had to stick my
finger down his throat. He’s all right. We got to him in time. They
don’t think he took enough to kill him, but it wasn’t good. Do you
think you could come back and talk to him? I know you got shit
going on with Max, but maybe you should talk to Luke before making
anything permanent. I know Luke isn’t your problem but he needs
you, Mags. He won’t say it, but he does.”

“Okay, I’ll figure something out. I’ll get on the
next possible flight.”

I heard him sigh in relief. “Good. He’s sleeping it
off at the hospital for the night, but he’s being released tomorrow
morning. So, just try and be back as soon as you can, okay?”

“Yeah,” I answered, but Jeremy had already hung
up.

“Everything good?” I jumped when Max asked from
behind me.

“No, it’s not. I have to go home tomorrow. It’s
Luke.”

Max gave me the
are you
kidding me
look. It wasn’t until I followed him inside that he turned on his
heels to question me.

“What’s the deal with him?”

“He almost OD’d last night. He’s okay, but he’s
upset.” I shook my head in disbelief. “I have to go.”

“You don’t owe him anything, babe. This was supposed
to be our weekend. Our time together, and he’s ruining it.”

“I know. But I can’t let him down again. Not now.
Not after everything.”

“Why not now?” He fixed his eyes on me, and I saw
the suspicion in his eyes. “Did something happen that I should to
know about?” This was my chance to come clean. To let it all out,
but staring into those sad eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to say the
words. To cause him pain. I was such a coward that I was beginning
to detest myself.

I shook my head, unable to face him. “No. He’s a
good friend and he needs my help. I should’ve been there when his
family died, and I wasn’t. I need to make up for that.”

He shrugged. “Okay. I’ll go with you.”

“No!” I blurted out way too fast. “I mean...you have
to work and stuff.” I said, trying to cover up the real reason why
I wanted him to stay away. Luke would never forgive me. And I so
needed him to.

“What are you doing, Maggie?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

Max grumbled something I didn’t understand, but
turned back around to finish getting ready for dinner.