Stay (6 page)

I shook my head. “I don’t know, man. What if it
wasn’t her, and he loses it again? He’s just getting over his
dad.”

“Well, if she was here, she’s gone now. We’ll come
back tomorrow with Jeremy.” Dean sounded confident, but then
grimaced. “Are you okay, man? What if it was her?”

Little did he know I was not fucking moving from
this spot until someone peeled my ass off the stool and proved to
me she didn’t work here. Dean pounded several more beers, but I
switched to water. I needed to be sober if she really was here.

God, Maggie.

Please let it be you.

“I don’t know. I just don’t know. I really want it
to be her, man.” I looked around once more, noticing the bartender
keeping his eye on us since he’d taken back his spot behind the
bar. I rubbed my eyes, peering down at my watch. It was almost two
in the morning. We’d been here for three hours, and Maggie still
hadn’t shown up from Dean’s first sighting. “Maybe she saw us and
took off,” I pointed out.

He shrugged watching the dancer for a few seconds.
“This is fucked up as fucked up can be. If it was her, why would
she run? It’s just us. Shit, I mean, we’ve all been inseparable our
whole lives, until she took off.” He took another swig of his beer,
eyeing me. “And I still think you’re full of shit and know the
reason she up and left.”

We waited until closing, the place all but empty.
The big-ass bouncer came over to our table, peering down at us.
“It’s closing time, boys. The girls don’t go home with customers,
if that’s what you were hoping.” I glanced past his massive body,
taking note that the bartender had slipped out.

“We’re leaving,” I told him. I hoisted Dean from his
chair. “Let’s go.” I leaned up against the brick exterior of the
place once outside. I knew Maggie was close by. It was like my body
was on high alert. “She’s here. I can feel it, man.”

“I told you so,” Dean slurred.

A few minutes later we heard laugher, and a door
from around the side of the building slammed. The bartender and a
couple girls strolled around the corner talking about how much
money they’d made, and how they couldn’t wait to get to eat. Dean
and I followed closely behind. The guy who’d watched us like a hawk
stopped at the door to the diner.

“I gotta go make sure she’s okay. I’ll see you
tomorrow night.”

Jackfuckingpot!

We followed for two more blocks. When he turned
right, we trailed quietly behind, trying to stay inconspicuous. I
wanted to beat the shit out of this guy if he thought he was the
one who was going to make my Maggie feel better. Who the fuck was
he to her? Suddenly, Dean stopped. “Dude, I’m gonna hurl.” He
immediately bent over to puke, and by the time I looked up again,
the bartender was nowhere in sight.

Fuck!

I carted Dean’s drunk ass back to the room. “I think
we should go back in a few days. Throw her off the trail,” I
commented.

Dean stopped his epic piss and zipped up his shorts.
“We should tell Jeremy.”

“Tell me what?”

We froze. Jeremy moved around the two of us to get
to the toilet. He pushed Dean out of the way. “Dude, Phoebe may be
hot, but did you know she snores like a fucking dude?”

I shook my head at Dean, mouthing, “Not yet.”

Dean nodded but went into the other room. “It’s
nothing, man. We just found this place we want to take you before
we leave.”

“I’m starting to feel better. Finally. I swear I
threw up for two hours straight tonight, and I think my fever
broke,” Jeremy said.

I cranked on the faucet on. “Get some sleep.”

It was three thirty in the morning, and I was wired.
Sleep wasn’t coming tonight, not without a little help from my
friend. I reached into my bag, popped two Xanax and let the idea of
finally finding Maggie back inside my thick skull. I just hoped I
didn’t wake up to realize this was all one big fucking dream.

Chapter 5

Maggie

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the
buzzer rang. I knew it was Max since he texted me twenty minutes
ago that he was on his way. I panicked when I saw Dean, and even
though it was the back of his head, and he was now sporting a buzz
cut, I knew it was Luke. I knew Dean spotted me. Max got me out of
there when he saw my face go three sheets whiter than a ghost.

Every single emotion flooded me so quickly, I
couldn’t catch my breath. It was like somebody was holding me under
water. My knees buckled, my empty tray crashing to the ground. I
don’t know where Max came from, but he quickly moved me to the back
room, begging me to leave after I told him who was there. Jimmy
wasn’t thrilled that I’d left my shift but understood that I was in
no way going back out there. I managed for almost two years to stay
hidden, and I panicked at the first sign of my old life.

But why? Every part of me wanted to run into Luke’s
arms and beg his forgiveness.

A little part of me knew the reason. I was terrified
to have him look at me now that he knew my secret. How he’d pity me
or blame himself for not noticing the fact that I avoided my house
like the devil lived there. How I slept out almost every weekend,
unless I knew he’d be there to protect me. How I kissed so many
boys to cover up my issues, to pretend they didn’t exist.

I opened the door to Max standing there, his arms
wide open. “Come here.” I dove into him like he was a lifesaver
keeping me afloat in waters I knew I was going to drown in. All the
guilt and shame from leaving came flooding back when I saw Dean and
Luke. I panicked and ran, just like I did before.

“They left, but they waited until closing. The one
guy definitely suspects you were there. He kept his eyes on me all
night.”

I grabbed a cigarette, lighting it with shaky hands.
“Which one?” Max pulled one from my pack and lit up with me.

“The taller one. Buzz cut. He asked for you by name,
and had a picture of you in his wallet.” I knew the exact picture
given him the day he left for Northwestern.

I gripped Max tighter. “What am I going to do?”

He pulled back. “Do you want to be found?”

I thought for several minutes before answering. “I
don’t know.”

“They’ll be back, Maggie. Trust me. If you don’t
want to be found, don’t come to work for a few nights.”

“I need the money, Max.”

“I’ll help you out. Don’t worry.”

I turned, took a long drag before stubbing out my
cigarette, and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. “I can’t
believe out of all the places in New York they showed up at
that
club. Do you think they knew I was there before?”

“Nah, I don’t think so. He seemed really
uptight.”

Max stripped down to his boxer briefs and slipped
into my bed. After I brushed my teeth, Max’s hand reached for mine
as I got closer. “Let’s get some sleep.” I only had to walk about
five steps from my bathroom to my bed in my shoebox apartment. He
pulled me into his chest, tucking me into him and kissing my
exposed shoulder. “Good night, babe,” he whispered.

More like good morning. How the hell was I going to
sleep? The sun would rise in approximately two hours. Eventually, I
drifted to sleep in the safety of Max’s arms while images of Luke
ran through my head. Every memory crashed around me like a tidal
wave. One after the other.

It had been four days since spotting them and four
days since I left my apartment. I’d convinced myself that they were
here on vacation and had gone back to Illinois. Max had come to be
with me every night since, and not once had he asked me any
questions. He just showed up, kissed me for a few minutes, and then
held me while we slept. Sex was still off the table with him. I
could tell he was holding back, afraid to take it another step
until I gave him the green light. Luckily for me, he was perfectly
fine with doing mostly everything but the actual deed.

It was Thursday and I was expected back at work. I
needed the money. I’d have to dip into my Maggie’s baking school
funds if I didn’t make some cash for the rent due next week. Each
week I’d put in whatever I could manage to go to back to school. I
rolled over and out of Max’s grip, but his hands found me. “Where
are you going?”

“It’s Thursday. You can stay and hang out until I
get back.” Every Thursday morning I volunteered at The Children’s
Hospital to hold sick babies. It was my way of giving back.

“Do you want me to come?”

“You can’t. You know you have to go through the
paperwork and stuff. But maybe someday.”

I leaned down to peck his lips. “I’ll be here,” he
said.

I’d never missed one no matter how tired I was. I
loved this place. Even though there was so much sadness here, it
was the only hour I got that made me feel like I was doing
something good. Something Jeremy and Luke would be proud of me for.
Something I had to do.

I peeked into the room once I scrubbed in, letting
Mary know that I was here for my scheduled volunteer hour. A few
minutes later, she brought out a baby. He’d been here for two
weeks. I held him last week too. His mother was addicted to crack
and heroin and had infected her little innocent baby with HIV. She
was currently going through major withdrawal, but she’d be better
soon. At least that was what they told me. I held him close to my
chest, rocking him in the chair, singing the lullaby my mother used
to sing to me. He settled right down.

I’d been coming to the Children’s Hospital ever
since I’d arrived in New York. It was the least I could do after
everything. And it made me feel better. After holding two babies,
my hour was up. I hated letting them go back to being alone with no
one to soothe them when they cried, or simply to feel the warmth of
a hand wrapped around their teeny, tiny fingers. It took almost
three months of Thursdays for me to stop crying when I walked away
to go home.

Before making my way back to Max, I walked around a
little longer than I should have but stopped to grab two coffees,
knowing he’d probably stilled be passed out from working late. He
was working at Monroe’s tonight, so he’d leave way before me to get
to the dinner rush. Even though it was one of his nights off from
the club, he’d promised to swing by after to walk me home.

As I slipped the key into the second lock, I heard
another click from inside and then the door swung open. Max still
wasn’t fully dressed, but he grabbed the coffees out of my hand,
placed them down, and then picked me up, kissing every inch of my
face. “Where’ve you been? I was worried.”

“Sorry.” He set me down. “I did some window
shopping, then stopped for those,” I said, pointing to my
much-needed caffeine fix.

He smacked me gently on the butt. “Thanks for always
thinking of me too.” He grabbed his coffee, lifting it to his lips,
but studied me while he sipped. “So, you good for tonight?”

I walked around him so he couldn’t see the fear
that’d been sinking in over the last hour. I’d chipped off every
bit of nail polish applied the night before. “I’ll be fine. I’m
sure they’re gone.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He sounded defeated.
“They haven’t been back.”

I opened my closet to grab tonight’s outfit but saw
his sullen face. “Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked, feeling bad that he
was worried about me.

Max remained quiet for a few seconds. “It’s
nothing.” I could tell he was nervous about my past showing up, and
I honestly wanted to give him a fair shot at being with me. I was
trying to move on from my past, but for some reason, it seemed to
want to catch up with me. “Simply sexy Thursday, huh?” he asked as
I held up my outfit.

“I hate wearing this crap.”

“Well, as a guy, let me tell you...” He came up
behind me and wrapped his strong arms around my waist, his lips
lingering at my ear. “You look fucking amazing in simply sexy. And
I hate not being there to keep assholes from touching you.”

I turned and stood on my tiptoes, kissing his chin.
“Don’t worry. Billy will kick the shit out of anyone who does. You
know that.”

Billy was one of our badass bouncers who watched
over the dancers and the servers. Anyone who messed with us more
than once was either tossed out or met his fist. I’d seen quite a
few men go down in the last six months from touching what didn’t
belong to them.

Max pulled me up into one last kiss, lifting me off
the ground. “I’ll see you around one. Okay?”

I nodded and then gave him a kiss he wouldn’t
forget.

“Maggie, I gotta go,” he groaned. “But God, do I
want to stay.” He let go, tipping my chin up with his finger,
kissing me one last time.

“Bye,” I said with a hint of disappointment.

He sighed, and I could tell he didn’t want to go,
but he did.

I didn’t have to be at work until nine so I stayed
inside most of the day watching reruns, smoking five whole
cigarettes before getting ready. I needed to quit. The smell alone
was reason enough. I slipped my baggy sweats over my outfit and
made my way onto the busy streets of New York.

I’d been eating ramen noodles and peanut butter for
the last few days in order to save money for my crazy-ass rent,
just so I wouldn’t have to dip into my stash that I hid under my
mattress. I still needed to make over $900 to cover rent. Even
though Jimmy gave me an “employee rate,” it was still
expensive.

This was the kind of night when I needed a bunch of
rich guys or horny-ass college boys to walk in and not give one
iota about how much they were sticking in my garter. It was amazing
what some guys would give just to rub a finger on my thigh. I
didn’t let customers touch me often other than to give me their
money. Once they did, I was off to the next table.

The place was mostly empty, but Shannon was doing
her thing up on stage. She winked when she saw me walk in. Her
stage name was Goldie, fitting as she was a bleached blond. Shannon
had become my angel one night. She pulled me over as we all headed
to the diner. She looked me square in the face and said, “I’m
taking you tomorrow to see Gio. Girly, we need to teach you how to
protect yourself in this crazy city. A girl that looks like you
could get into some serious trouble. You and me are going boxing
tomorrow.” I didn’t question her because I thought it would be a
good idea to learn some skills on how to take care of myself. I
never knew punching a bag could feel so darn good or the new level
of confidence it brought me. And, I had Shannon to thank for
that.