Stay (5 page)

I opened the door and we moved onto the sidewalk,
but she came up from behind us, now crying. “Please? I’m begging
you guys to take me with you. I have to get to New York by Friday.
I have an audition.” Oh, great. One of those girls. Immediately I
thought of the Jay-Z song that mentioned good girls gone bad. She
was definitely gonna be one of those.

I sighed, thinking of Maggie out there and how if
this were her, I’d want someone to help her too. “Fine. You take
the front seat,” I muttered to her, tossing the keys to Dean. I
didn’t want to sit anywhere near her. Jeremy and Dean looked like
they were ready to piss themselves. I headed straight to the back
seat, while my two sidekicks argued over who was sitting in front
with Phoebe.

I pulled on my baseball cap, yanked a Xanax out from
my bag, and closed my eyes. She may be riding with us, but there
was no way in hell I was going to engage in any conversation. I
didn’t need this right now. But it was good to see Jeremy forget
for a little while. This road trip was just as much for him as for
me. It had been four months since his Dad had had a heart attack
and coming on two years since the disappearance of his twin
sister.

My girlfriend.

My soul mate.

Jeremy still hadn’t found any peace when it came to
Maggie. At one point he went crazy thinking she was dead, but now
he was convinced she was out there. Said his twin radar would’ve
gone off if she were truly gone. I prayed he was right-I still
loved Maggie more than my own life. I constantly looked over my
shoulder thinking she was going to pop up out of the blue. It took
everything I had to not kill that asshole father of theirs when she
left, and I never once told Jeremy why she took off. I couldn’t
break my promise that I’d keep all of her secrets. And this was the
biggest one by far. When their dad died, I was happy. The son of a
bitch deserved it. I showed up at the funeral only to make sure his
ass was buried six feet under.

He had destroyed my life.

Maggie begged in her letter, and I understood what
she needed to do. It just sucked that I wasn’t included in the life
she was searching for. She broke my heart, and it hasn’t been whole
since. She was impossible not to fall for, even when Jeremy warned
us all to stay away. I couldn’t. She was the girl who I played with
every day since I was six. We were neighbors, and instant friends.
We caught fireflies in the summer, jumped on trampolines, rode
bikes, had lemonade stands. We shared everything. Every single
childhood memory had Maggie smack dab in the middle of it.

When I think back, it was the fifth grade when I
understood the difference between boys and girls. Some asshole had
tripped Maggie on the school playground, and she cut up both of her
knees. She was bleeding, and I could tell she wanted to cry, but
Maggie would never give Ryan Kyle the satisfaction. Everybody was
laughing, making fun of her. I yanked her off the ground and helped
her to the nurse to get her cleaned up. After school I got into my
first fist fight. I kicked Ryan Kyle’s ass in the parking lot of a
convenience store. Right then, I knew Maggie was special to me.

It was always Maggie. Even though I didn’t tell her
until we were nineteen, it had always been her.

When Jer caught us the first time she came to the
college to visit freshman year, I thought he was going to kill me.
After a few minutes, he smiled and said, “Fuck it. I knew this was
going to happen.”

I could still remember the first time I kissed her.
I felt like the biggest asshole. She’d come to school for the
weekend to party with us at the frat house. We were just getting
ready to pledge our fraternity but were still not official. Maggie
had way too much to drink before it even hit 11 p.m. I spotted her
in the corner with one of the fraternity brothers, his hand
dangerously low on her ass, right there in the middle of the party.
I kept checking my watch trying to figure out how I could duck out
without being caught.

I waited, fists clenched, tipping my beer back,
unable to take my eyes off them. He whispered something in her ear,
but a second later walked away. She stood there dancing alone so I
grabbed her hand and hauled her ass out of there so fast, she
didn’t know how to react, other than listen to me as I pleaded with
her to act normal. The last thing I needed was to get blackballed
before I even got in.

Once I’d gotten her back to my dorm, Maggie was
stumbling and muttering how I ruined her night. When I finished
shoving her into my room, I grabbed her bag to get her things so
she could change, but apparently she had other ideas. When I turned
around, the bag dropped to the floor. Maggie stood before me in
only her thong and matching pink bra. I stood frozen for a second,
trying to talk myself off the fence but my pounding heart took
over. Then again, what horny, red-blooded guy could say no to that
invitation?

It was a sloppy kiss because she was wasted and I
was scared out of my mind. I had to stop it-I was the sober one,
and I knew if Jeremy walked in and saw me getting it on with his
sister, he’d kick my ass.

“You’re too drunk, Blue. If you still want to
tomorrow, I’m all for it,” I told her.

She ran her fingers up my chest until she reached
over my shoulders. “So there’s going to be a tomorrow?”

“Yeah, there is.” I wanted to tell her that there
would be a million more tomorrows if she was ready, because I sure
as hell was. That night Maggie passed out in Jeremy’s bed, and the
only thing I could do was smile about the possibilities as I
listened to her breathe.

The next morning she woke fresh-faced. I wasn’t
prepared for the spring in her step. I’d known Maggie my whole
life-she wasn’t a drinker, so how could she not be miserable? Which
led me to believe maybe she hadn’t had as much as she let on.

“How are you not hung-over?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I feel fine.”

I glanced around to make sure the room was cleared
out. What surprised me more than anything was when Maggie slinked
over to my bed and ran her hands down my bare chest. I yanked it
back. “What are you doing?”

She smiled sheepishly. “I thought you said
tomorrow...” Her lips grazed mine, and I couldn’t think anymore.
After getting caught up in her kiss for several seconds, I pushed
back slightly. “Wait, Maggie.”

She searched my face. “What, Luke? You said it was
okay.”

“I meant, like, tomorrow, as in later tonight. When
we can be alone.”

She looked around the room. “We’re alone now.”

I shook my head. “Not for long. Trust me.”

She shifted off the bed, wrapping her arms around
her waist, clearly upset. “Hey,” I stood to grab hold of her.
“Don’t be mad.”

“I’m not.” She was crying a little. I felt like the
biggest jackass.

I pulled her back down on the bed. “What’s going on
with you?”

She wiped the tears away. “It’s nothing, Luke.
Please don’t think I’m a slut or anything. I’m sorry. I won’t do
that again.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t you dare apologize for kissing
me, Mags. I’ve wanted that since I was twelve years old.”

“You have?” She looked up at me with huge blue,
teary eyes.

“Yeah.”

She looked away shyly. I watched her for the longest
time without saying anything, almost ready to drop the subject, but
then changed my mind. I grabbed hold of her chin, forcing her to
look at me. “Hey, do you remember when we would all go
bowling?”

She nodded.

“Back in high school, it always made me think of us
if we ever got together.” A little crease popped out from furrowing
her eyebrows. “This one night, senior year, it was your turn, and
you got all the pins down but one. You were so excited.” I paused,
nervous to continue. “Shit, Mags. I don’t know. You had so many
boyfriends over the years, I couldn’t keep up with you sometimes. I
never made a move because I felt like I was gonna be that last pin
standing. The one you needed to knock down to get the spare. I
didn’t want to be that guy because I knew you could knock me down
so hard, I wouldn’t be able to get back up.” My hands dropped to
her waist, pulling her closer, tears streaming down her face. “I’ve
been waiting for us to get it all out of our systems, to get our
shit together. So I’m ready to do this with you. What about you?
Are you ready?”

We were together from that day forward.

Everybody loved Maggie. People understood when I
said that. There was always that one person in school who everyone
loved, who no one could say a bad word about. Well, that was my
Maggie. She had that personality everyone flocked to. She was a
cheerleader, she was smart, she had a heart of gold, and if you
asked me, she was the most gorgeous creature who ever existed. And,
yeah, she dated a lot of dudes, but I know for a fact she never did
more than go to second base, and that was only with one of
them.

She had the most beautiful crazy-long brown hair
with little curls at the end that hung down past her waist. Even
when we were little, I loved to wrap my finger in a curl and just
twirl it around just to watch it bounce back. I could barely
describe the color, but it always reminded me of a piece of my
favorite candy. It was dark mixed with golden, like the center of a
Rolo, her eyes a crystal blue that could only be described as more
aqua than the fucking Caribbean. And she always smelled like
cookies or whatever else she’d been baking. Sadly, I hadn’t been
able to step foot in a bakery since she disappeared.

I tried to tune out as the new girl rambled on and
on about how she wanted to be an actor and eventually move to Los
Angeles. Don’t they all sweetheart?

I floated away as my meds kicked in and delivered me
into a peaceful oblivion where Maggie was still a part of my
everyday.

Chapter 4

Luke

It was our second night in New York, and
Jeremy was stuck in the hotel with food poisoning. Phoebe was now
Dean’s sidekick, squatting with us in the hotel room, which pissed
me off, but Dean couldn’t keep that damn grin off his face. So we
let her stay. She wasn’t with us tonight-she was out patrolling for
a job, applying to every restaurant in the city so she could
audition in the daytime.

We told Jeremy not to eat that damn sushi but he did
anyway, and he was paying for it. Dean wanted to go to some techno
club downtown, but I wasn’t much into it. I wanted to get drunk and
forget everything, but I wanted to do it somewhere quieter than a
club. We walked for over three hours, slipping in and out of random
bars as we came upon them. Dean wiggled his eyes when we came up to
the next place.

“C’mon, man? We’re in fucking New York. Let me buy
you a lap dance.”

I was too drunk to argue with him, so I let him lead
me through the dark doorway. A huge-ass bouncer stood guard, his
bulky arms crossed over his chest. He reminded me of Hulk Hogan
minus hair. “Twenty-dollar cover, and keep your hands off the
fucking merchandise.”

Dean slipped him forty bucks and pushed me inside.
The lights were bright on stage, but the rest of the place was
muted. Dim. There were three poles on the stage and two girls
wrapped around them. Both ladies sported tassels on their nipples
and G-strings. Both equally fake, but decent looking. Dean was
already drooling. We found a small table as close to the stage as
we could get-the stools surrounding the stage was occupied. A
pretty little blond stepped over to take our drink order.

“Two Heinekens,” I told her.

Dean was staring up at the chick on stage like he’d
never seen a naked woman before. She spun a few times on the pole,
and then spread her ass right in front of us. The blond came back
with our drinks, bending over, practically shoving her tits in my
face. She smelled like vanilla. It was funny-every strip club I’d
ever been in, the girls all seemed to smell the same. I handed her
a twenty and told her to keep the change. She smiled as she ran her
fingers slowly from one shoulder to the next.

After two more beers, Dean either hit a wall with
the alcohol or he’d seen a ghost. His mouth hung open, staring to
the back of the club. I looked back there, but didn’t see anything
other than a few bartenders and customers.

“Dude, we gotta go.”

“What? Why?” I checked my watch. “It’s only
midnight.”

“We have to get Jeremy.” He stood running his hands
through his hair. Completely freaked the fuck out.

“Jer’s sick, man. Leave him alone.”

He stared at me for a long second. “Luke, it’s Mags.
I just saw fucking Maggie.”

“What?” I stood up so quickly I knocked the small
table over and sent the beers flying. I was scouring the place for
any signs of Maggie, but I didn’t see her. “Are you sure, Dean?
Maggie wouldn’t be caught dead in a place like this.”

He stayed quiet, but nodded.

“Stay here. I’ll be right back.” I walked around the
stage, glancing up to the girls to make sure Maggie wasn’t one of
them. My heart was ready to fly out of my chest at the idea of
seeing her. I made my way over to the bar, nervously. I knew I was
sweating. I was frantic searching every angle of this fucking dump
for any sign of her when someone asked, “Can I get you
something?”

I turned to the guy tending bar. “I’m actually
looking for someone. An old friend.” I pulled out a picture of her
from my wallet and showed him. “I thought I just saw her, but ...
does someone named Maggie work here?” I swallowed hard, waiting for
his answer. He took a quick glance at her picture, and then stared
me down for a beat too long. Why was he staring at me like that? He
knew her-I could tell he knew her. He wiped the bar with his
rag.

“Nope. No Maggie here. Sorry, man.”

I fixed my eyes on him, sure he was lying. But I
hadn’t seen her, and maybe Dean was just too shitfaced and wanted
it to be her. I started to walk away, heading back to Dean, but
turned one more time. The bartender was gone, heading into a back
room covered by a curtain. The bar was slammed busy; the two other
bartenders were barely keeping up, and our waitress was frazzled
all of a sudden. Dean and I stayed put for another hour watching it
all happen. “What do we do? Should we tell Jer?”