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Maggie’s shoulders slumped, her arms wrapped around
her waist in a tight squeeze and I knew I couldn’t walk away. I
hated to see Maggie in pain. That was a whole other issue. My need
to fix Maggie. I’d been doing it so long it was second nature to
me. When she left and I realized I failed her it nearly killed me.
Her leaving was bad enough; the reason behind it was what had
almost done me in. If she never came back I’d deal. I’d hate it but
I’d deal. Knowing she walked because she didn’t have faith in me or
us, and because I was too ignorant to not see the signs when we
were younger, stung like hell.

My feet brought me within inches of her without even
thinking about it. She was so caught up in her misery that she
didn’t hear me approach. “Blue,” I called out.

Her head lifted, but she still kept a firm grip
around her waist. “Hey.”

“You all right?”

Maggie’s tears mixed with her constant sniffling was
burning inside of my brain listening to her sob. She swiped her
knuckles across the underneath of her eyes, and then looked at me.
“No. I’m not all right. I should have been here.”

I knelt down beside her. “Mags you can’t take back
what’s impossible. Phoebe wouldn’t want you kneeling here, sobbing
like the world’s over.” My arm instinctively reached around,
hauling her to my side, kissing her temple. “It’s okay to cry, Blue
but don’t take that on that guilt for not being here.”

“You wanted me here. You said so yourself.” She
sniffled again and it was eating me up inside.

“I know what I said. I did want you here, but it’s
over. We can’t fix that.”

She collapsed into my arms, tucking her chin into my
chest. The tears kept falling so I held her tighter trying to take
her pain away. Unfortunately, unable to keep mine at bay. “I hate
coming here. Sometimes I drive by and stop, sometimes I keep going
unable to come to terms with it all. It’s too real when I’m here.”
Her arms squeezed my waist tighter. “I lost faith about a lot of
shit, Maggie, but then there you were. And I swear to you on my
sister’s life, just seeing you, finding you, it made me feel that
faith, that hope I’d lost.”

“Luke…” she whimpered, still attached to my waist,
head buried.

“Just knowing that you were okay, baby, I can’t tell
you what that’s done for me.”

Her head shook as she listened to my words. “I
should have called-something. I’m so sorry.”

I couldn’t hold it in anymore. The wound was torn
open like it as brand spankin’ new. Tears streamed down my face
even though I swore I would not shed one more tear. But seeing
Maggie, going over it all again crashed through me. Hard. “Oh God,
Luke.” She gripped me tighter. “I need to be here for you. Stop
thinking about me, please. I want to take your hurt away for
once.”

“I know, Blue. But, as long as we got you back, I
don’t care anymore.”

Tears fell from my own eye as I held onto her. I
didn’t mean for them to come, they just did. She opened a wound by
coming here, not to mention Maggie just even existing in my fucked
up world again.

“Oh God, Luke… no. I’m so sorry. Don’t cry.”

Unable to stop my emotions from taking a toll, I
gripped her hard. “Mags, I’m so fucking lost I can’t see
straight.”

“What can I do? I’ll do anything.”

Her hand raked through my hair, gripping my neck,
pulling me closer. “They did everything for me. My mom…fuck, she
was a good mom, Mags. I don’t even know who to call to ask stupid
questions anymore. I could call her and just ask, “hey, mom I left
some beef out for a few hours too long is it still okay to eat?
Shit like that. It kills me to have no one to call. Do you
understand? It’s all the little things about them that I miss.”

“I understand. God, Luke, I could barely pay my
bills. My milk went bad, cheese grew mold where I’d need to scrape
it off before I ate it. I would’ve loved to have someone to call.
And yeah, I get missing someone for the little things too. I missed
Jeremy cranking up his music, I missed Dean calling me kiddo, and I
missed the way you would always mindlessly play with my hair. I get
it, Luke. I do.”

My tears finally under control, I smiled as I pulled
away. “Shit!” I blinked to regain focus. “I haven’t been here in a
while. I didn’t mean to lose it.” She studied me for a few seconds,
wiping her own tears away.

She grabbed my hands in hers and smiled. “I could
really use some coffee. My treat.”

I smiled back, “I’ll take you up on that if you let
me take you out for coffee.”

Maggie stood, hand reached out to yank me up. Deeply
inhaling I took it and we went for coffee.

The car ride home had been interesting and I wanted
to ask her about it, but I refrained too happy to be sitting in the
local coffee house across from her, like she’d never left. I knew
it would be hard for her when she did, so I convinced myself to let
it go until she was ready.

It had been two weeks since we returned. Maggie
still hadn’t offered up any reason why she left, and Jeremy never
pushed. He just stared at her, gaging her face for clues. She
didn’t give any. Honestly, it surprised me that he wasn’t freaking
the hell out on her, but I never liked to see Maggie backed into a
corner, so I kept quiet.

Maggie was thumbing through the want ads when I
stepped into the kitchen. Sometimes I had to remind myself that she
wasn’t mine anymore. It was like I was on autopilot whenever I saw
her. I’d move close enough to kiss her and then remember I
couldn’t. At least not the way I wanted to. When she walked back
into my life, I knew I couldn’t let her walk out the door again.
Ever.

It’d been a peaceful two weeks trying to get to know
each other again. Even Jeremy loosened up when it came to her. We
all fell into our old roles as friends. I’d hoped to skip over that
part again, but Maggie insisted.

So we were friends.

There were two things I suspected would happen: the
first, she would finally give in to my flirtatious touches, looks,
and words; and the second, I knew it was only a matter of time
before the shit hit the fan so to speak. And that time approached a
hell of a lot faster than I’d counted on.

It was a Friday, and the night prior I’d overheard
Maggie telling Jer that Max was coming for a weekend visit. I
wanted to make myself scarce-there was no way in hell I was
watching some other dude touch my girl. But even I knew my
stupid-ass self wouldn’t be able to stay away from her all night.
I’d take the pain like a man.

“Any luck yet with the job hunting?”

She answered without looked up from the paper, but
answered. “Oh, hey. Um...I guess I could waitress for a little
while.” She circled another ad in red pen. “Keep my feelers out.
How about you? What are you up to today?” Her big blue eyes widened
when she saw my shirtless chest. She didn’t think I noticed, but
she looked away quick enough, sucking on that cute bottom lip of
hers.

I laughed to myself, knowing that I got to her.
Good.

“I got nothing going right now. I have to work
tonight, though. You should come down. There’s a good band
playing.” I tended bar at one of the more popular places in town,
one that she hadn’t stepped foot into yet. I kept trying to get her
to come, but she always turned me down with some lame ass
excuse.

She flicked her eyes in my direction, smiling.
“We’ll see.” And that was Maggie code for “no.”

After pouring a cup of coffee, I grabbed the chair
next to her, twisted it around, and sat facing her. “Well, what
about later. You gotta eat. How about you and me go grab some lunch
today? Just the two of us.”

She drummed the pen on the paper, pretending to read
the want ads to distract herself. “I don’t know if that’s a good
idea.”

“Why not?” I asked annoyed.

“Because, I have a ton of things to do. I need to
get ready.”

“Ready for what?” I knew what she was going to say,
but frankly I wanted to make her sweat a little. I felt like a dick
putting her on the spot, but what about me? What about my damn
feelings? I’d given her two weeks of space to figure her shit out.
There was no way I was letting her slip out of my fingers again.
I’d let her have her little weekend with Max. I knew she’d come
around. She just had to.

She pushed back from the table, walking to the sink
to fill her glass. “Max is coming. His plane lands around four and
I wanted to check into a few cooking classes. I have some money
saved.” Her hands gripped the edges of the sink, keeping her back
to me as she finally decided to admit it out loud to me.

I stepped over to her quietly and placed my hands on
either side of her, trapping her in between my arms. Her head
dropped slightly when my fingers grazed her thumbs. “Is that so?” I
asked, as I leaned over her shoulder.

She sighed loudly, but didn’t move. “Luke, you’re
making me uncomfortable.”

I froze for a second. I then pushed off the sink,
backing up a few inches. “Since when do I make you uncomfortable?”
I whispered.

She turned and looked into my eyes, but then down,
like her feet were suddenly more interesting. “I’m so sorry.” She
quickly walked around me, and I could hear her crying.

“Don’t be sorry.” It took everything not to grab her
and haul her ass into my room. Part of me understood it had been
almost two fucking years, but the other part of me had never
forgotten how easy it was with Maggie, that I was still crazy in
love with her. It was going to take some time and effort, and a
whole lot of patience on my part to get her back.

I was pissed I had to work tonight, and even more
pissed because everybody seemed to know why I was so pissed. Before
I left, Maggie was humming happily in the bedroom I gave up for
her. Dean and Jeremy glanced up when I walked into the room as they
played Xbox. I paced back and forth, like a caged animal glancing
at her door more times than I should have. The keys fumbled in my
hands, dropping to the floor secondary to nerves.

“I’ll keep my eye on her. Go to work,” Jeremy said
as he frowned, taking in my demeanor.

“I can’t believe she’s bringing this guy here, man.
It’s not cool,” I admitted.

Dean paused the game. “She’s not yours, man. You’re
not a couple. They won’t make it anyway. He lives too far away, and
then you can swoop back in once he dumps her.”

I was about to barge in on her when Maggie opened
the bedroom door. She had on tight blue jeans and a skimpy sweater
that made you very aware she was a girl with some serious curves. I
blinked a few times, even opened my mouth to tell her to get back
in there and change, but instead I bit the inside of my cheek, shot
her a smug smile, and walked out. She looked beautiful. I forced
myself to get in my car, to pretend that nothing was going to
bother me for the next eight hours of my shift.

Even as I poured drinks throughout the evening,
openly flirting with every girl who came near. I couldn’t keep my
mind off Maggie and what she was doing. Flirting was a part of the
game at work. The more I flirted, the bigger the tips. In the last
two years, especially after Maggie left, the flirting turned into a
lot more. A girl I’d had a fun time with on several occasions had
been eyeing me for the last half hour, and I really wanted to take
her home to give Maggie a taste of her own medicine. But, in the
end, I just winked and told her not tonight.

I waited to go home until after three in the morning
to avoid the two of them. I’d hoped they gotten their happy fucking
reunion done and over with. The last thing I needed to hear were
their pleasurable moans through the damn paper-thin walls. There’s
only so much a man can take, and that ain’t one of them. I shivered
thinking about it.

It was quiet. Jer was already asleep when I stepped
into the room. I slipped out of my clothes before lying on the bed.
I popped a Xanax and passed out at some point, imagining the
different way to make her come around.

***

I stumbled out of the room when I heard yelling. I
wasn’t ready to get up, but I thought I heard Maggie crying, so I
moved quicker than I thought possible after coming out of that
drug-induced haze.

“It’s your mother, Mags. She wants to see you,”
Jeremy yelled.

I did a quick sweep, noticing they were alone
sitting at the kitchen island. “What’s going on?” I asked, reaching
for the coffee pot.

Jeremy tore his glare from her to me. “She doesn’t
want to go to lunch at my mom’s today. Tell her she needs to come.
She’ll listen to you.” He turned back to Maggie. “You can even
bring that douche.”

I glanced at Maggie, her eyes red. Instantly I
wanted to go to her-to fix her, but I couldn’t. Instead I backed
her up. “Jer, man, don’t make her go. If she’s not ready, she’s not
ready.”

“Thanks a fucking lot, asshole. I was counting on
you to help me.”

“Well, count on someone else.” I took a seat, still
in my boxers and my wife beater when Max strolled out of my old
room looking like one satisfied man. Just fucking great!

Jeremy didn’t pay him any mind and kept going on
with his rant. “Okay, Maggie,” said Jeremy. “You don’t want to go
see Mom, fine. Then I need to know everything. I’m done waiting.
It’s been two weeks and I’ve kept quiet, trying to let you figure
it all out, but I want to know the truth, instead of wondering why.
If you don’t want to hash it out at home with Mom, then let’s do it
here. ‘Cause I’m hanging on by a thread not knowing
everything.”

Maggie glanced up at Max, now standing beside her,
and started to answer. “You know what I said in the letter. Mom and
Dad treated me different from you. It was all about you, Jeremy.
You got the car, you got to go to the school you wanted, you had
money handed to you. You got everything. I got nothing, Jer.
Nothing. Do you even know my dream?”