Still Surviving (18 page)

“Lily. You’re nothing like her. You’re so good with Molly.” Leaning back I smiled at her. “You and Todd are gonna have the cutest fucking babies.”

“Baby, dear God, don’t try to give me more than one at once.” She chuckled through her tears. “You really think so? You think I can do this?”

“I know you can. You and Todd are so strong. I’m so jealous of what you guys have. Cherish this, hon, cherish it, ‘cause soon you’ll be up to your ears in baby poop and pureed carrots.” I winked at her, and she shoved me.

Lily rolled her eyes. “This is seriously happening.”

“It seriously is.” I clapped my hands.

“This is the cheeriest I’ve ever seen you.” Lily narrowed her eyes at me. “It wouldn’t happen to be because a certain roommate of mine is hopelessly in love with you.”

“Pfft. That’s dramatic.” I stood and grabbed a blanket from the basket next to the couch. Since Lily moved in, Todd and Seth’s condo started to look more like a home and less like a bachelor pad.

“That man has it bad for you, Tiff. I wish you could see how he looks at you when you’re not paying attention. He lights up like the Fourth of July, my friend.” She leaned over and grabbed a handful of gummy bears from the bowl that she had placed earlier on the coffee table.

The corners of my mouth tipped up. “Really?”

“Really, I’m not happy with how Scott treated you, but I’m glad you got rid of him. What the hell was that about anyway? What a tool.”

“God, you sound like Todd.”

“What can I say? The dork is rubbing off on me”

We both giggled, and she threw a gummy bear at me.

“Thanks for this. I really needed some Tiff time. I feel like we never hang out anymore. You work too much, woman.”

“I know. Don’t tell Frank, but I’m thinking I might want to work full-time at Magnolia. But, I need to let the Scott thing blow over first before I talk to the owner. I love it there.” It was true. I wanted nothing more than to be done at Blue. The two jobs were starting to wear me out.

“I’ll miss the hell out of you, but you need to do you, girl.” Lily grinned.

“Don’t worry, I’m hoping Scott moves to the Vegas shop. We’ll see.”

“Oh! Before I forget. This Monday we’re all heading north for dinner at Lizzie’s place. You should come. I know you don’t know them super well, but it’s so fun. Plus, I’m pretty sure Seth is going.” She gave me a knowing look.

“I don’t want to make Seth uncomfortable.” What I really wanted to say was that I didn’t want to dump myself all over his life too fast and spook him.

“I don’t think anything you could do would make me feel uncomfortable.” Seth’s voice filled the room, and my heart rate increased.

“I just invited Tiffany to come to Liz’s on Monday.” Lily’s smile was huge and childlike as if to say,
“Look what I did? Aren’t you proud?”

“You should come with me.” Seth dropped his briefcase by the coffee table. The collar of his shirt was unbuttoned and his tie was no longer on. He looked tired, and this very small, but crazy part of me wanted to snuggle with him… right now.

“Okay.”

His lips widened into a handsome smile. “Good.” He sat down into the recliner and ran his hand down his face. “Fuck, I’m tired.”

“Me too, I should get going.”

“Already? I feel like you just got here.” Lily pouted, and I laughed.

“Well, you filled me with about ten pounds of sugar, then dropped a baby bomb on me. I’m emotionally exhausted, and my sugar high has depleted.”

Seth chuckled. “Lily is always trying to ply people with sugar lately.”

Lily shrugged her shoulders. “See you tomorrow at work, Tiff.”

“Thanks for having me over. Remember what I said. Cherish it.”

She gave me a kind smile and nodded as I grabbed my bag.

“Can I walk you out?” Seth asked. His pale eyes trailed up my body, lighting me up as always, until he met my gaze.

“Sure.”

The air felt damp while we walked out to my car. He was quiet as he laced his fingers through mine. The sweet gesture surprised me.

“I probably won’t see you until Sunday.” He played with my fingers as we stood next to my car. “I have a few meetings and a dinner with a client.”

“No late night visits from the handsome man at the end of the bar?” I joked trying to hide my disappointment.

“Are you sad?” He smirked.

“Devastated.” My sarcastic comeback was short lived as Seth dusted his fingers up my arm and placed his hand at the nape of my neck. The pad of his thumb brushed at my pulse. I was sure he could feel the uneven beat of my heart through the skin.

He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. “Drive safely.”

I was speechless as he pulled away. I tried to think of some flirty, sexy thing to say, but all that I was capable of was a nod. He opened my door for me, and I sat in my front seat a little dazed. I felt like a teenager again as he shut my car door. He made me feel special… it was like each moment was something he was savoring. Each moment the tinder burned hotter on the coals, and I was waiting… waiting for the moment when it would ignite.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Seth

“T
HE
H
EATHMAN ACCOUNT IS
almost in the bag, Dad. I told you this already.” I pinched the bridge of my nose with the fingers of my free hand. “Tell Simmons to chill the fuck out.”

“Seth, for hell’s sake, watch your damn mouth.” I tried to remember my father’s anger was purely based off his anxiety.

“Listen, I had three meetings with Jake Heathman this week setting up his portfolio. I took his wife and him out to dinner last night. I’m sure he will choose us to handle their finances. How about you have some faith in your son.” My father pushed me to take this damn account, and now he was acting like I didn’t know what I was doing. I’d majored in music, sure, but I passed my series seven exam; I had my fucking license, and I was good at my job.

“I have faith in both my boys. This is just a huge opportunity. I know you can handle it, son. Simmons is just breathing down my neck. Can you at least shoot him a damn email? Let him know where Heathman’s head is at.” He cleared his throat, and I cringed. This was a nervous habit of my father’s, and he only did it when he wasn’t being honest. He didn’t have faith in Jeff, and it pissed me off.

“Listen, Dad, I’ve gotta go. I’ll send an email to Simmons tonight.” I turned the ignition off in my car and watched Tiffany laugh through the front windows of Magnolia. She was talking to Rand at the front desk.

“Get it done.”

“I will.”

The line went dead, and I exhaled a noisy breath. I used to be so close to my father, but the bigger his firm got, the farther he pulled away from Jeff and me. The end goal being money… always money. My whole life that’s all he ever talked about. My mother left him helpless, and he wanted to make sure that never happened again. I got it… I did… but at what cost?

We used to have family dinners every Sunday, but now my dad was at the office late, or taking a client out for dinner, or golfing if the weather was good. Our family was rapidly falling apart. The man I looked up to my entire childhood was beginning to show his true colors, and it was fucking with me on a whole new level.

The shop was about to close by the time I got there. Rand was closing the till out as I walked through the front door. Tiffany’s broad smile tugged on my chest and made the conversation I’d just had with my father fade to the noisy back chatter of my life. Tiffany was the mute button to all my bullshit.

“Hey there. You’re late.” She playfully scolded me, and Rand eyed us with a grin. I wasn’t sure whose side he was on as far as the whole Scott shit went, and I didn’t really give a fuck either, but I had a feeling he was on Tiff’s side, and I liked him for it.

“I’m sorry.” My apology sounded weak as she approached me. Without thinking I reached out and linked her hand with mine. My thumb smoothed circles in her palm and she exhaled. The weight of us being apart dissolved the minute my hand found hers.

“It’s okay.” She glanced down at our hands briefly before she gave me a shy smile.

“Work shit. I really am sorry.”

“Come on.” She dropped my hand, and I tried not to feel the loss. “Have a good night, Rand.” She waved at him as we headed to the back where her booth was.

Being alone with Tiffany was something I’d been looking forward to all week. Everything that was keeping us from being together was gone. But now that I was here with her, like I wanted, I began to panic. I felt out of my depth. This wasn’t part of my scope of practice. I had no clue how to proceed.

“You look nervous.” She giggled. “I promise… no lady part flowers, okay.”

I laughed, and the tension that was building subsided. Tiffany turned on her iPod and patted the table. I lifted off my shirt and watched as she admired what I had to offer. Her assessment of me brought the anxiety back full force. This time I hoped to have more to offer than just my body. Her eyes met mine, and they were full of humor. Tiffany was different. We’d be different. We could do this.

“Definitely… no lady part flowers.”

“F
INISHED.”
T
IFF’S ANNOUNCEMENT MADE
me open my eyes. I’d drifted off into a half awake/half asleep coma. The warm room, the music, the quiet sound of her machine, her small, hot hands on my back — it relaxed me. “I’ll start the third flower next week, okay?” she said as she rubbed the balm into my skin. My favorite part.

“Sounds good.” I stood, and she handed me a small mirror so I could see her work. “They look sick so far.” My grin was lopsided as I admired the small piece of her I’d have forever.

“Oh my God, I love this song. Let’s dance.” Tiffany’s big hazel eyes were wide, like she couldn’t believe she’d just asked me that. “I mean… you don’t have to.”

“
Sweet Jane
” by The Cowboy Junkies played smoothly from Tiff’s iPod. This song was all cotton and comfort, so when she asked me to dance, how could I say no? How could I ever say no to her? The song drifted over my skin, her small hands lightly ghosted the flesh of my shoulder, and the shiver that ran down my spine wasn’t something I was used to. She tore down everything I built with just one touch. She destroyed me, and I wanted her to.

“Is this okay?” she whispered. The rosy color of her lips caught my attention. She wasn’t wearing make-up tonight. Being this close to her, I could see the natural color of her skin and the two small freckles that rested along her right cheekbone. It was just her, and it took my fucking breath away. I nodded unwilling to speak. She was fine art; the ink on her arms appeared to move with grace as she reached her hand to my left shoulder. The fluid sound of the guitar poured like honey through the room. Tiffany smiled, and the dark green of her hazel eyes mixed with the brown like smoke to create this perfect color, this unknown gem. They were everything all at once, and I had to look away or I’d be lost to her.

“This is nice.” Tiff reached her hand up and touched my chin, drawing my eyes back to her. “See, it’s not so bad. You just gotta sway with me, loosen up.” She let a gentle laugh escape her full lips, drawing my attention to her mouth. I’d never kissed a girl before, not once. That small part of me was something I wasn’t willing to give away, that was mine, but Tiffany was staking her claim. She had pushed her way into the dark spaces of my soul, and I was helpless to stop her.

The music continued to haunt the room; my eyes on her eyes she moved her hand to my chest. The heat of her palm soaked through my sternum and lit my heart on fire. Tiff let her other hand fall down my arm. The tips of her fingers trailed down the skin. The warm air, mixed with the feeling of her flesh on my flesh, caused goose bumps to erupt down my arm. I let Tiff’s fingers lace with mine as she drew my hand toward her and placed it against her chest, my hand now mirrored hers. Two souls, two hearts, two pasts aligned… this was what I was waiting for, this was my moment.

She gazed up at me, her lips parted as if she was going to speak, but all that came out was a whisper of air, the sound of anticipation. I couldn’t resist the temptation any longer. I let my hand rest against her cheek; my thumb dusted her cheekbone.

“This is what I want.” My voice was filled with lust, but it was more than that with her, it always had been. I’d been hiding in her shadow for too long, and I was ready to show her the real me. The man who prayed every night that he was still alive, that he still had the ability to feel, that he could be more than just hate and anger. “I want to fall… fall before you… you’re ruining me, Tiff, you’ve broken me and I’d let you do it again…” I let my lips skirt against her cheek, “…and again…” The corner of her mouth teased me, making me almost rush through this. “…and again.” Her head fell back into my palm as the taste of her enveloped me. My lips parted and took in every bit of her that I could. The music disappeared, and my world fell out from below me as my lips collided with hers. Her moan spilled across my tongue as she let her hand move from my chest and fist into my hair.