Surrendered (Heart of a Warrior Series Book 3) (2 page)

The wind grew louder in her silence, and he glanced over. She sat rigid, her jaw tight, her eyes moist. She swung her gaze to meet his, and the fierce look surprised him.

“I promise I will figure out a way to grieve and celebrate Sarah Beth if you promise to plan a time to go meet your sister.”

“Kaylan
 . . .
”

“Promise.”

He gripped the steering wheel harder, the hot rubber uncomfortable beneath his sweaty palm. “I promise.”

“I want her at our wedding, Nick.”

His heart leapt at her quiet statement, but he said nothing. Instead, he ground his teeth and punched the button to turn on the radio.

A cloud drifted over the sun and a cool breeze chilled his skin. He didn’t want to deal with this. He didn’t want to deal with any of it.

But he no longer had a choice.

Chapter Two

The sweet smell of icing drifted from Carla’s Bakery as Nick held the door open for Kaylan. Cake tasting. One more thing to check off her wedding list, and she didn’t even have to bribe Nick to come. And she was lucky that Carla, the owner, had agreed to come in on a Sunday. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, noticing a streak of paint from their morning game that hadn’t washed off in the shower.

“This is going to spoil my dinner,” Kaylan muttered as Carla led them to a counter where several samples waited for them.

“Ruin dinner? Babe, I’m making this my dinner.” Nick licked his lips and rubbed his stomach.

Kaylan rolled her eyes. “Sure. You get to eat anything you want and somehow maintain those abs. I eat one bite and gain one pound on my hips.”

His hands came to rest on her waist, causing her to jump at the unexpected touch. His breath warmed the side of her face, his nearness and touch sending a chill down her spine. “Lies. You are gorgeous just the way you are,” Nick whispered. He placed a quick kiss on her shoulder and then pulled her chair out for her, flashing a mischievous grin at the woman helping them.

Kaylan’s cheeks flushed, but she couldn’t let it rest. “Are you going to be one of those guys that tells me I look amazing every time I ask if I look fat?”

Nick tapped his chin and studied her. “Well, that depends. Are you going to be one of those women who is constantly asking that?”

“Probably not.”

“Well then, don’t worry about it. Besides, my honest streak would kick in soon enough. But for the record, I always think you look gorgeous.”

Carla, a woman with deep brown skin and hazel eyes, cleared her throat and with a knowing smile began to explain the selections. Vanilla with buttercream. Chocolate with raspberry topping. Red velvet with cream cheese.

“Mm, this one,” Nick mumbled, his mouth still relishing the red velvet option.

“For a wedding cake?”

“For whatever. You can’t go wrong with red velvet.”

“I think you are supposed to go with chocolate or vanilla options at a wedding.”

“Says who?”

Kaylan blinked. “Says . . . everyone?”

“That doesn’t work for me.” Nick crossed his arms over his chest.

“Nick Carmichael, there are unwritten rules about weddings that you just wouldn’t understand.”

“Babe, no one can tell me what cake I need to prefer at my wedding.” He pointed to the red velvet cake. “Carla, we’re going with this.”

“Whoa.” Kaylan threw up her hand. “Carla, can you give us a minute?”

She chuckled. “I’ll do you one better. I’ll give you a few.”

Kaylan turned to her fiancé. “I think we should go with the vanilla for the wedding cake and chocolate for the groom’s cake.”

“Vanilla for the main cake. Red velvet for the groom’s cake.” He shot a thumb in the direction of his rock-hard chest. “I’m the groom, remember?”

Kaylan poked his ribs. “Not if you don’t cooperate.” Kaylan knew she’d made a mistake a split second too late. “Nick, don’t.” She jerked and started laughing as his fingers struck all the sensitive places in her rib cage. “We are in public,” she rasped, trying not to squeal.

He wrapped his arm around the back of the chair and leaned in close to her face. “Who cares?” His lips found hers, warm, smooth, with just a hint of red velvet. It really did taste good.

“You win.” She pulled back, her eyes still closed. “A red velvet groom’s cake.”

Nick pumped a fist in the air, his muscle highlighted beneath his thin sweatshirt. “Success. See? Compromise already.”

Carla joined them again. “Did you work it out?”

“I think so. We are going to go with the vanilla for the main cake in the design I gave you.” She stole a quick glance at Nick. “And red velvet cupcakes for the groom’s side.”

“Wait, whoa. Cupcakes?” Nick shook his head and removed his arm from the back of her chair. “No way. We are not doing cute cupcakes with all my buddies coming.”

“Compromise, remember?” She knew she was poking a tiger, but she couldn’t help her sly grin.

Nick’s face told her she was in for trouble later. “Right. Carla, we will take vanilla cupcakes for the main cake, arranged like Kaylan asked for in . . . what’s that word again?”

“Tiers?” Carla prompted. Kaylan smirked. Great. Nick had yet another admirer. Thank goodness he still hadn’t won Megan over yet or Kaylan would never have people on her side.

“Exactly. Tiers. And we will take a red velvet groom’s
cake
,” he emphasized, his blue eyes coming to land on Kaylan, sparking with playfulness.

Kaylan thought about it for a moment, envisioning a tiered cupcake arrangement in beautiful ivory, with maybe a few coral-colored roses mixed in for a pop of color.

She nodded slowly. “I think that will work.”

Carla finished writing on her notepad. “Got it. Great! We will make sure that is ready for you.” She leaned forward as if to share a secret. “And can I just say, you two make a gorgeous couple.”

Now Kaylan really knew Carla had taken a liking to her fiancé. Seriously, he could charm a barracuda and leave it swooning.

“She just radiates enough beauty for both of us. Ready, Kayles?” Nick wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek.

With a nod to Carla, they stood and exited the sweet-smelling shop.

Cool air twirled around Kaylan, but not quite as brisk as an Alabama winter. Kaylan shed her heavy jacket. “Oh man, I miss seasons at home. Why is California so warm in January?”

“It’s sixty-three, Kayles. That’s cold.” His jeans and light sweatshirt told another story. And he once again had persistently worn flip-flops.

“But back home it gets even cooler than that. Most of the time, anyway. You know, sweater weather, fun coats, cute boots, and scarves.” She laughed at the face he made. “Fine. You could care less about winter fashion.”

Nick held open the door to his Jeep and waited as she climbed in. “Well, who knows. Maybe we will be stationed in Virginia Beach one day, and then I’ll be the one complaining about the weather.” He closed her door and walked around to the driver’s side, climbed in, and eased the car out of the shopping center. Saturday night traffic taunted them with the glittering array of red bumper lights. “Maybe text your brothers and let them know we might be a few minutes late for dinner.”

They sat in silence as traffic crept in front of them. “Kayles, do you really miss home that much?” Nick’s voice broke through the monotony.

She turned to look at him, sensing hidden emotion in his tone. At times she found it hard to cut through the neutral veneer he erected. It kept him calm as a SEAL but shielded her from his thoughts. “I think it’s harder after being at home and then coming back.” Her thoughts drifted to the holidays—Thanksgiving with Megan back in Alabama, holiday parties with the Teams in California before going back to Alabama for a home-style Christmas. She’d gone for a ride on Black-eyed Pea; made apple cider with Mom; talked to Pap and Gran for hours; beat her brothers in Monopoly; gone for runs with Seth; spent time with David, Melody, and Melody’s little girl; built a model ship with her dad. Then they’d flown back to California, and time with her brothers here kept home close by. But they were leaving in two days, right after they celebrated Sarah Beth.

A well of nostalgia and longing bubbled up, threatening to engulf her. She wanted to give in, but one look at Nick’s blue eyes and the tide passed. She reached for his hand and threaded her fingers through his, once again noticing how well they fit together. She’d found the home she’d always longed for with a man who belonged at sea.

She squeezed his hand and looked to the road ahead of them. “I’m right where I should be.”

“Yes, you are.” He brought her hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on her fingers. “Right next to me.”

The pang that too often flitted across her heart bore down with gentle pressure. She took a deep breath to maintain control of the fear she constantly held at bay. The one she had chosen to bury the last few months. “Should we talk about what that looks like when you aren’t right next to me?”

He stole a quick glance at her. “You lived through a couple of short deployments with Support Activity 1. Didn’t those help? My Team will only deploy for about six months.”

“I don’t know that those are quite the same. You’ll be deploying for real in the next year. What does that look like?”

He squeezed her hand as he pulled the Jeep into the parking lot of their favorite seafood place. The engine ground to a halt. Nick turned to face her. His hesitancy surprised her. Why wouldn’t he talk about this? He usually initiated the conversations, quick to reassure her, determined to walk her through every step, a champion for fighting her every insecurity. But his silence? That was unusual. It sent every nerve in her body running scared.

“Nick?”

“Kayles, can we—” His phone rang. In the gathering shadows, she watched his face morph from hesitant to hardened. His Navy SEAL mode kicked in full force. “I need to take this. I’ll meet you inside?” His fingers tightened on hers and then let go as he answered the phone.

She crawled from the car and headed inside. It was difficult knowing he probably wouldn’t be able to share the details of the conversation with her later. The closer the wedding date, the more removed Nick became about anything deep or personal. She could handle deployments. She could handle being away from home. But there was one lesson couldn’t handle again, one she couldn’t tolerate for long – the idea of being cut off from Nick, her best friend, and being isolated and alone.

And right now, his presence of body and absence of emotion scared her more than any deployment could.

*

“Jake, what’s up?” Nick didn’t feel like small talk with his old friend in the CIA. Jake wouldn’t call unless he had a reason, and Nick dreaded finding out the “why.”

“Hey, man. How’s life in sunny Cali?”

Nick ran a hand over his face. I guess they were going to ease in. “Oh, you know. Probably about the same as it is in Virginia.”

“Nah, much colder. And we get that cold, white, powdery stuff instead of the warm, brown, grainy stuff that gets stuck everywhere.”

“Yeah. I’m perfectly content with my sand.” Nick gripped the steering wheel and stared at the restaurant. “Jake, seriously, what’s up?”

“Just wanted to let you know your mom is talking and partnering with us.”

Nick gritted his teeth, knowing his friend couldn’t give him full details over the phone. The identification of their relationship was meant to determine his emotional state.  He decided to play neutral.

“Well, isn’t that sweet of her.” Nick paused, trying to figure out the best way to determine if she was still locked away or if she had been moved to Virginia. “Is she enjoying all that snow?”

“You know she prefers the cold. But I think she misses her yacht.”

Nick released a breath. At least she wasn’t headed back to California, free to roam as she pleased.

“Well, I hope she gives you what you need.”

Silence lengthened on the other line.

“Jake?”

“That’s the thing. I think she could help more if you two talked.”

Nick stifled a groan. In other words, she was only giving information in pieces and still holding some of her cards close to the vest, using communicating with him as a bargaining chip to share more intel.

“Man, you know the job. Things are busy.” Inwardly he groaned. He didn’t want to help that woman. If he didn’t talk with her, his job could be on the line. But if he talked to her, his job might be on the line too. Nick nearly growled at the no-win situation.

“I know. I just need your permission to play a game with her.”

“Uh . . .” His brain went into overdrive trying to decode the spook lingo Jake seemed to be feeding him. But whatever it was, he didn’t care. He didn’t want any part of it. “Listen. You do your job. I’ll do mine. We’ll call it good.”

“That’s all I needed. Take care, Nick, and tell that bride of yours I’ll see her at the wedding. I might even bring a date.”

The call ended. Nick sat stock still, his heart racing, remembering a few months earlier when he had discovered that a wanted terrorist was his mother. And that same mother had cost Logan his leg and kidnapped Kaylan and Megan. In the aftermath, he’d undergone questioning and an investigation. He’d worried he would lose his job. The job he loved. The job that made him what he was—a United States Navy SEAL.

He smacked his palm against the steering wheel. If she was asking for him, then it couldn’t be good. She’d confessed that she didn’t have a motherly bone in her body, and he wasn’t about to think she had changed after a short time in jail. If anything, she wanted to get back to her life of luxury.

And then there was that little bomb Pap had dropped. A sister. Natalie Grace. Somewhere in California. He shook his head. Too much. It was all too much. All he cared about right now was working with his team to catch Janus’s boss and marrying the girl of his dreams. Everything else could wait.

Slowly he unfolded himself from his Jeep, slammed the door behind him, and crossed the parking lot. He stopped at the restaurant door, his eyes drifting to the scene on the other side of the window. Kaylan’s head tipped back in laughter. Her cheeks flushed pink in the dim lighting. He knew that sound, melodic, comforting. A loose bun held her wavy, auburn hair at the back of her head. She leaned toward Seth, grinning from ear to ear before laughing again. Micah, David, and Melody sat across from them, snacking on peanuts and joining in the joke. As the waiter approached the table, Kaylan came alert, her eyes roaming in a quick study of the restaurant.