Surrendered (Heart of a Warrior Series Book 3) (5 page)

Chapter Five

Nick and Micah received the call at five in the morning on Monday. With hurried goodbyes to a groggy David and Seth, they slipped from their house and headed to the War Room on base in Coronado.

“Kaylan is going to kill me if I miss helping with the last-minute details for this wedding.” Nick groaned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as Micah drove his Mustang. Street lights cast an orange glow on the pavement as they covered the short distance.

“I told you that y’all should have taken care of every bit of it before Christmas.”

“I just thought we were done with all of the short, unplanned deployments until we deploy with the Team next year. But when duty calls, we go.”

Micah spun into the parking lot and crawled from the car. The two nodded at others entering the building. “Not a decision to make right now, Hawk. You’ve had a lot happen in the last few months. Let’s just focus on the task at hand and make big decisions after the wedding.”

“You better pray we make it back before the wedding.”

“You have about nine weeks until March 12, man. Plenty of time. Now snap out of it.”

“You really are a bulldog in the morning,” Nick grumbled.

“Get me some coffee, and we’ll call it good.”

Rounding a corner, they entered into controlled chaos. Quiet chatter filled the room. A pump pot full of steaming black coffee with Styrofoam cups off to the side beckoned Nick and Micah. Several men with bags under their eyes eagerly filled the tiny cups. Nick always thought of the cups as a tease. They gave him just enough for a taste and an increased craving for more black fluid.

At the front of the room, their boss took the floor. “All right, ladies. Grab a cup of coffee and let’s get to it,” Senior Chief X shouted in his gravelly voice. His red hair stuck out at odd angles, indicating he too was a victim of an early morning wakeup call.

Titus passed Nick and Micah small Styrofoam cups filled with rich, black brew. One sip sent his brain spinning into gear. They had a full team gathered. He searched the crew and moved to join Colt and Jay, already seated on fold-out chairs in the front row. An ache filled him at Logan’s absence, but he shoved it away. Logan wasn’t feeling sorry for himself, so Nick wouldn’t either.

“Morning, sunshines. Time to get to work. Tonight, we leave for Afghanistan for a capture-kill operation. We will join with others from SEAL Team 2 that are already deployed in the area as well as their Afghani counterparts. We will be fully briefed upon arrival. We leave tonight at twenty-three hundred hours. Let’s take care of business, ladies. You know what to do.”

“Radio prep at eleven hundred hours. Anyone having comms issues, come see me,” newcomer Bates shouted over the noise.

“Organize and load weapons in two hours. Hawk, you’re with me on that.” Colt slapped him on the back as they hustled to pack up the gear.

The room broke into a flurry of activity, guys preparing for an op without specifics. But right now, they didn’t need any. They were ready, come what may.

“Looks like we’re going to need more coffee,” Titus said, staring into his already empty cup.

Jay slapped him on the back as he stood. “You’re always on top of it, my man. Good lookin’ out.”

Titus rolled his eyes. “You ever gonna grow up and be responsible?”

Colt dropped his arm around Jay’s neck. “If he grew up, he wouldn’t be the J-Man we all know and love.” Jay elbowed Colt in the gut. Colt jumped back and blocked his ribs. “Easy there, brah. I was paying you a compliment.”

“Logan’s not here to wrangle the children. So I guess that job falls to me.” Micah grinned, the coffee clearly doing its job.

“Man, please.” Jay threw his head back in a laugh and jerked free of Colt. “We all know T-Brown or Hawk will have to fill those shoes now.”

“Now look here, Jay . . .”

“Ladies . . .”

Nick stood and stretched, his eyes drifting to the coffee station. “Looks like X is running this ship. Let’s get busy.”

As Nick and Micah moved to get more coffee, Micah said, “Did you hear Logan may be able to get fitted with a prosthetic soon?”

Nick froze, his hand hovering over the pump pot. “Seriously? That’s awesome! I wonder what he could do in the Teams.”

Micah shrugged, dark circles evident on his tan skin. “You know him. God, family, and country. He’d jump back in in a heartbeat, and Kim would stand by his side the whole way.” Micah shook his head. “Now, that’s love.”

Nick filled his cup again, inhaling the steaming brew as he nodded. Since his engagement, his fear had sky-rocketed for Kaylan, for himself, for their relationship. He no longer could look out for just himself and his team. He had to consider her, too. But he knew she wouldn’t ask him to do anything else with his life. Still, his heart pounded a little harder as he prepared to leave. How could he reassure her during his absence?

*

After prepping his gear and helping take inventory with Colt, Nick slipped away to meet Megan at four o’clock. He had only an hour and a half to take care of what he needed to before Kaylan got off work. He would stop by and see her and then head back to base to prepare for departure. Once again, he didn’t know how long he would be gone, but he hoped it would be brief. The wedding approached, and Kaylan would want him nearby for all the last-minute details and preparations.

Megan stepped from her car, ripped jeans, thin black shirt, and wet hair telling Nick she had rushed her from her job at the aquatic center. While all outward appearances indicated that Megan preferred marine animals to people, Nick surmised that she really craved a deep friendship and didn’t quite know how to get there. Since being taken hostage months before, she’d stopped her serial dating and one-night stands and started asking more about God. She’d softened a bit, and Nick could see Kaylan’s influence in that.

Nick smiled. Kaylan couldn’t help but nurture others. Her patience and sweet spirit made her a lighthouse that consistently called him to love others the way she did—with compassion and a firm hand. Man, he loved that girl.

“You rang, soldier boy?” Megan stopped in front of him and he caught the faint scent of the sea. “Don’t you have other people you could call?”

He crossed his arms and leaned back against his Jeep. “Question.  Do you always smell like fish?”

She rolled her eyes and turned around. “I’m outta here.”

Pushing off the car, he sidestepped and cut her off. “Kidding, Meg.” He chuckled and held up his hands in surrender. “Will you help me, please? It’s for Kaylan.”

Her eyes softened just a bit, but she huffed. “Yeah, okay, fine. What are we doing at an apartment complex in Imperial Beach?”

Nick turned her toward the front office and began to walk. “Like I said on the phone, I have to leave town for a little while. I don’t want Kaylan to feel alone when deciding things that have to do with our life together, so I decided to go ahead and rent an apartment for the two of us for after the wedding. I need you to keep it our secret until she needs to know.”

“And how will I know when she needs to know?”

Nick grimaced, figuring Kaylan would hit a point where she got frustrated with the ill-timed deployment and grow overwhelmed. “Trust me. You’ll know.”

They entered the front office and Nick signed the paperwork, paid the deposit, and grabbed the keys offered to him. He motioned to Megan. “This way. We’re on the first floor.”

Nick walked them to a unit in the second building. The blue-gray exterior appeared muted against the apartment’s attempts to create an oasis. Brightly colored flowers and palm trees adorned the grounds, and a pool sat in the middle of the complex. Nick thought it a poor substitute for the beach only miles away.

Shoving the key in the lock, he turned the doorknob and stepped inside the home he would share with Kaylan. Megan stepped in by his side. She paced the small living and kitchen area and then headed back to the two bedrooms, one decidedly larger than the other. “What do you think? I know it’s not much.” But he could picture it becoming a cozy home. It was close to Titus and Liza. Close to Micah, Colt, and Jay. Close enough to the Carpenters, and countless other families in the SEAL community.

Megan came to stand before him, her brown eyes calculating. “I think she’ll love it. My turn for the question. Why’d you bring me?”

“She trusts you. She needs you, Megan. You’re strong, and she’ll need your grit to help her stay strong and positive.”

“I’m sorry, she needs me?” Megan threw up her hands, exaggerated shock written all over her face. “Soldier boy, have you met Kaylan?”

Nick nodded, the seriousness of his face telling her it was no joke. “When I’m away, it’s hard on Kaylan.”

“Because of losing Sarah Beth. Because of the earthquake.”

“Even without that it would be hard, Meg.” He walked to the window and stared at the palm tree growing just outside. Its rough, layered bark made it seem like a tall sentry, standing watch. “She’s adjusting. But I think having this apartment will make it easier for her. She can even start moving our stuff in and decorating when she’s ready.”

Megan joined him at the window, and he held up the key. “Will you hold onto this until she needs a reminder that she isn’t in this by herself? I’m leaving her some other surprises while I’m gone, and I’ll need your help with those, too.”

He glanced at his watch. Almost out of time.

Megan took hold of the key. “No one’s ever asked me to be part of something like this before.” Her brown eyes filled with awe and a hint of confusion.

“Hey, you’re family to Kaylan now. You’re in the wedding. We want you to be a part.”

She dropped her gaze, her hands toying with the key. “Family. I never really knew what that was like.” When she looked up, he saw anger brewing. Her mouth stretched in a taut line, a storm gathering behind those guarded dark eyes.

“Why do you do it? Why do you fight for your country and leave your family?” Her voice dropped to a deadly whisper. “Is it worth it?”

Nick leaned against the windowsill, wondering how to answer her question. He had asked himself the same thing recently. Given everything she’d gone through in Haiti, why ask Kaylan to endure the hardship of military life? Deep in his heart he knew the answer wasn’t that simple. He also knew he was inviting her to be part of something bigger than themselves—to fight on behalf of others like God called him to. He was inviting Kaylan to be part of the incredible pride, the honor, and the camaraderie that came from belonging in this community.

But Megan’s question gnawed at him daily. What if he died and left Kaylan alone? What if he wasn’t there for his kids? Despite his questions, Nick kept coming to the same conclusion, and then peace flooded his soul, despite the fear. He could only tell Megan what he reminded himself every day.

“The way I see it, I have two options. I can stay at home, find a good job, raise a family, and pretend like nothing is going on. Or I can fight, whether here or abroad. I chose to fight abroad so that something like 9/11 doesn’t happen again.”

“But why? Why do you care when your family will pay the price for it?”

He met her gaze, understanding the pain behind her questions. She’d grown up an Army brat, her mom left the family, and her dad was either deployed or drinking. Either way, she’d been shoved off onto relatives until she’d been old enough to take care of herself. “Megan, have I ever done anything to demonstrate I’m like your dad?”

He watched her wrestle with his question. In Nick’s opinion, Megan’s dad had missed the best years of raising a pretty tough daughter, one who would have given him her whole-hearted support if he’d only shown her a little love.

Slowly she shook her head. Her shoulders deflated a fraction. “No.”

He nodded. “I go into harm’s way to fight for Kaylan and for you because I believe I’m doing something that matters, something that not everyone can do.”

“Even when no one else knows what you do? What you sacrifice?”

“If I did it for the glory, I wouldn’t be a SEAL. I do it because it’s right. I’m fighting for good in a world full of evil, protecting and fighting against injustice.”

A shadow drifted across her face as the palm leaves outside danced in the breeze. “And how do you handle all the evil? You believe in God and yet look at all you’ve seen. How do you see the good?”

“Are you thinking of what happened to you and Kaylan last year?”

“And Kaylan in the earthquake and what you see on every deployment that you can’t tell her about. How do you see the good?”

Nick took in the apartment around him, imagining it to be a safe haven, peaceful. A place for good memories. Home. None of that was possible if men like him refused to do the hard jobs. “All I can tell you is that when bullets are flying, it’s love for and trust in the men by my side that keeps me going. It’s the victory in knowing that I’ve stopped a terrorist or freed a people from a tyrannical government. It’s the freedom I witness in women and children being liberated from oppression.” He gripped her shoulders and met her eyes. “Megan, it’s because I believe victory belongs to God. God already won. And I’m just one man that He chooses to use to fight for others until He comes back. If I can be just a small part of that grand design, then this is all worth it. And Kaylan believes that, too.”