The Amish Doll: Amish Knitting Novel (Bonus Knitting Pattern Included) (15 page)

“
Jah
, I am. Do I know you?”

She came over and sat next to her bed. “I’m Deborah Weaver, from Smicksburg. This here’s my knitting circle I’ve told you about.”

Tears sprang from Susanna’s eyes. Tears of joy. She’d written circle letters to all these women, and on the day she felt the most despair, here they were in her room. She tried to sit up, but pain shot through her middle. But since the bed elevated her some, she could look at them all. “So
goot
to see you all.”

Deborah got up and placed her hand on each girl’s shoulder and said their name. “Maryann, Lizzie, Fannie, Ella, Ruth, Lottie, and Becca. We have old people like me, and young ones like Becca.”

Susanna remembered how these women had solved so many problems together. For some reason she thought of Raven and her love for knitting. Maybe when she recovered, she and Raven could start a knitting circle, too.

“Granny, are you going to give her the present?” Becca asked.

Susanna didn’t want to laugh, because it hurt, so she steadied herself. “Who’s Granny? Deborah?”

“
Jah
, they all call me that. I love these girls like my own. Only had boys. How about you?”

“I have a son and daughter. Ann and Joshua. Ann lives in Ohio, but is here visiting me now. Went out to lunch with my husband.”

“Well, it’s nice she could be here.” Deborah started to put the present on her, but Susanna pushed it back, “Please, don’t. The pain…”

Deborah jumped back. “I’m so sorry. Do you want me to open the present up for you?”

“I’m sorry. The new kidney is put in the front, right here.” She motioned to her left side. It’s where the incision is. Awfully painful for a while.”

Deborah opened the gift and Susanna clasped her hands and bit on her knuckles, trying not to cry. “It’s so beautiful.”

“This here blanket was knit with love. We passed it around, just like a circle letter, so everyone here helped make it.”

Deborah moved closer and Susanna felt the soft yarn. “Did you spin this wool?”

“
Jah
, I did. Was going to dye it, but felt it looked nice in nature’s colors. Notice the black mixed in with all the creams and whites. I had a black sheep, and there’s his wool.”

Susanna reached for the blanket and rubbed it against her face. “It’s so soft.”

“If I put it on you, will it hurt?”

“Nee, it’ll keep me warm.”

The women took the edges of the large blanket and together placed it on her. Love seemed to pour from the blanket, making such a difference to her aching body. She’d have to knit for people who were ill; it really was something.

“We’d like to pray for you. We call some of our prayers casting off prayers. We cast all our cares on God, because He cares for us. Is there anyone you need to cast on God?”

Susanna took inventory of all the people in her settlement who needed prayer. Too many to count. But someone she needed to cast on God. Lottie. She had such bad feelings for this girl that it haunted her in dreams. “Lottie. Her name is Lottie, and I want us to pray for her.”

~*~

Joshua nodded at the doctor and thanked him for his advice, and shook his hand before leaving the room. He went into the large waiting room. The Express-Med was part of the hospital’s ER and packed. Many looked too ill to be sitting up. He scanned the room again, and in the corner saw Raven with Lawrence. Jealousy again overcame him. A sin he kept committing. He slowly walked over and nodded at Lawrence, but couldn’t make eye contact. This was the man trying to steal Raven’s heart. Ashamed at such childish thoughts, he sat down in a chair across from them.

“What did the doctor say?”

“Just too much stress all at once, with my
mamm
and taking in the boys.”

“Did you tell him everything?”

What was she thinking? Lawrence didn’t know about Lottie. He stared at her coolly. “
Jah
, everything.”

Lawrence hit his knee with his hand. “I need to make my rounds. So many down with the flu. Raven, I can follow you back home if you want to stick around Jamestown. The roads are bad.”

Didn’t Lawrence realize he was a man, capable of keeping Raven safe? No, he didn’t know how to drive a car, but could help just the same. Why did some people treat the Amish as if they were stupid? How many flat tires had he changed for the English?

“We’ll be fine. I’ve driven in worse weather.”

Lawrence put his arm around Raven. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” she said, smiling warmly.

“Well, call me if you need anything.” He turned to Joshua. “Any news about your mom?”

“She’s in a lot of pain.”

“Well, if she needs anything, or if you do, just…use one of the kids’ walkie-talkies,” he said with a grin.

Raven embraced Lawrence before they parted. “Better head home.”

They walked out into the parking lot and sleet pelted them. “I hope this isn’t freezing rain.” Raven stared at the parking lot. “Ice is forming. I need to listen to the radio.”

She got into the car and was preoccupied with flipping through stations, trying to get weather updates. It was times like this Joshua was glad to be Amish. The English fought nature while the Amish moved with it. If it was raining down ice, stay home. He tried to tell Raven this morning it looked like snow clouds were coming in mighty fast, but she ignored him.

When he got in the car, he heard a weather warning, but it wouldn’t be in effect for another hour.

“We’ll be home before this big storm hits.”

“But the wind off Lake Erie could make it come much sooner.”

“The weatherman has radar. They know what they’re doing.” She pulled on to the main road, and clung to the wheel, biting her lower lip. She pressed on the brake and got traction. “No ice yet. Good.”

As they made their way out of Jamestown and up Route 62, the snow and ice blew horizontal. Raven made the windshield wipers move wildly. “Need to get on my snowshoes.”

“Do you have a pair?”

“It’s just an expression. Means I need to get used to all the snow. Not be afraid to drive in it.”

Joshua didn’t talk, since she was concentrating so much on the roads. But why could she listen to the radio? He thought of Lawrence, and started to put one and one together. They were dating and she was ignoring him. He sighed loudly.

“What’s wrong?” Raven glance at him.

“Nothing. Keep your eyes on the roads.”

“I am.”

The more he heard the radio, the more rejected he felt. Is this how Raven felt when she saw him and Lottie together? If so, it was a horrible feeling, yet she still made an effort to be his friend, caring about his
mamm
, taking him to the doctors. Such a selfless person…

He saw a truck headed their way and it was swirling. “Dear Lord,” Raven yelled. “Stay on your side!”

The truck seemed to only disobey, sliding further into their lane. “I need to do something!” Raven screamed, and then jerked the car off the road and they bounced violently through a corn field, until the car finally stopped.

Raven stared ahead, shaking all over. She looked so afraid, Joshua couldn’t help it. He reached for her and took her in his arms. “We’re alright. You did a
goot
job.”

She looked straight ahead, and then buried her head in his chest and cried. He stroked her hair, trying to calm her down. He rocked her back and forth until her stiff body relaxed. She looked up at him, eyes still bewildered. “Can you hold me a little longer?”

“
Jah
, would be happy to…”

With Raven in his arms, dread over marrying Lottie overwhelmed him. How could he go through with it? Dear Lord, help me see clearly. He felt the warmth of Raven against him and his heart started to race. The desire to kiss her made it only beat harder… 

Raven pulled away from him. “You’re a nervous wreck, too. Your heart is thumping so fast.”

Joshua turned to look out the window, feeling heat on his face, knowing he was blushing. Then he thought of Lawrence, and how hard it would be if Raven married him. He felt her hand on his shoulder and took it. “My nerves are wrecked over many things.”

“Well, the car is fine, let’s see if I can pull out of this field.” She put the car in reverse and the tires just spun. Then she put the car into drive and moved a bit further. “We’re stuck. I’m calling Lawrence.”

“Wait, I can push.”

“We’ll need a chain. Someone needs to pull us out of here.”

Joshua got out of the car and went to the front. He motioned for her to back up. When she did he pushed with all his might. Anger over everything in his life rose from within him and fueled his strength. The car moved backwards and he kept pushing. Even though they still had a ways to the road, he knew he could get Raven to a spot where there was no ice to get traction, and she wouldn’t be calling Lawrence for help. And for that, he was glad. But this whole day gave him a lot to ponder. If he married Lottie, he’d lose the boys. Joshua looked at Raven through the windshield. And he’d lose her, the girl he loved…

Raven and Eb got out another two-thousand piece puzzle. “How’d you get so
goot
at puzzles?” Eb asked. “Didn’t know the English did them as much as the Amish.”

“It’s having good visual spatial relations. It’s supposed to be hereditary.” She thought of all the puzzles she put together at a young age. “My grandpa was faster than me. Must get it from him.”

Raven got up to grab her ringing cell phone. The number wasn’t familiar. Fearing it was Brandon, she answered anyway.

“Raven? This is Susanna Yoder.”

Raven put her hand to her cheek. Susanna’s voice was so weak; she sounded like she was over a hundred years old. “Susanna, how are you doing?”

“I’m alive so I won’t complain. I’ve been thinking of you a lot…”

Raven heard strained breathing and a long pause. “I think of you all the time. The church is praying for you.”

“
Danki
, I’m grateful….I got visitors today, and have an idea. Want to start a knitting circle?”

“I’d love that.”

“We could meet at my place…”

Raven didn’t know what to say. Susanna didn’t know that Joshua would be marrying Lottie when she got home. Would Lottie be living at her house? If so, she wouldn’t be going.

“Raven, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing….”

“Is everything alright at my house?”

“Oh yes, nothing’s wrong at the house.”

A low sigh came through the phone. “I’m sorry. This medicine makes it hard to think. Seemed like something was wrong…..How is Joshua?”

“Fine. He’s just doing great,” Raven said, a little too chipper.

Another long pause. “How are the boys? I miss Cliffy and Timmy.”

“Oh, they love being in an Amish house. They like living without electricity. Said they feel like Daniel Boone.”

“Who’s that?”

“Oh, a man who lived without electricity, too, long ago.”

The pause that followed was so long, Raven thought she lost the call. “Hello?”

“I’m here. Raven, what’s wrong with Joshua?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

“You’re not talking from your heart, I can tell. What’s wrong?”

Raven pursed her lips. “He’s a little worn out. Helping rebuild Appleton and raise two boys. I told him to slow down, and he’s a man…not listening.”

Raven was relieved to hear a chuckle on the other end.

“Hard to get men to slow down. I miss him. Is he going to visit?”

“Do you want him to?”

“Ach, Joshua’s more than a son. Over these past years, he’s become my constant friend.”

Once again, Raven was overcome with emotion. She wanted to marry this son of hers. He was such a good man. But Lottie was ruining everything. “He’s a good man for sure.”

“And you care for him, but not Amish?”

She clenched her cell phone. Was it so obvious? Yes, it was true. She loved Joshua Yoder, but he was being controlled by an impossible group of men.

“People convert for love,” Susanna continued.

Raven realized the pain medicines must be loosening Susanna’s tongue to say things she would normally not. She was
thinking out loud. “So, we’re starting a knitting circle. What should we make?”

“Prayer shawls. For people on dialysis. Maybe for people you think of, too. My recovery will be almost six months and I’ll have lots of time on my hands.”

“Well, I’ll look for yarn sales and stock up. When you get home, we can knit away.”

“I’d like that. Ann may be coming up for a while. She’s a knitter, too.”

“Who’s Ann?”

“My daughter from Ohio. She’s here in the hospital with me. Sure wish Joshua would come…”

“I’ll talk to him. Offer to drive. It’s not that far.”

“
Danki
, dear one.”

~*~

Susanna hung up the phone. Something was really wrong with Joshua. She’d write him a letter, asking him to come. She could read his facial expressions and find out what was happening. Her mind turned again to Raven. Since she loved Rueben with her whole being, it was easier to spot a woman in love. Did Joshua know? Did he realize she could convert?

Susanna looked over at Rueben sitting in the recliner reading a book. “I think Joshua’s coming to visit.”

Rueben slowly put his book in his lap, and then pulled off his reading glasses. “Who said that?”

“Raven. She said she’d drive him. I’m writing to him tonight to encourage him to come.”

“But you’re ill.”

Susanna sighed. “Rueben, you can’t shield me from everything. Something’s wrong and I need to see Joshua, face to face. Besides, I miss him.”

“But Ann’s here. Isn’t she enough company? And the women from Smicksburg said they’d be back.”

Susanna laid her head down. “I want to see my son.”

~*~

Raven held on to the teacher’s desk, gawking at Bud and Chuckey’s teacher. “They told you that and not me?” She had to admit, she was hurt. She visited the boys regularly and they never said a word. Did they feel safer talking about Lottie out of the house, thinking Lottie could hear?

“Let me get this straight. The boys were in a car with an
Englisher
and Lottie, and they were afraid. The English man was speeding and Lottie was laughing in a way that scared them.”

“That’s what they said. This man went faster when the boys asked him to slow down. And the roads were icy. This happened last week.”

Raven sat down at one of the student’s desks. “Anything else I should know?”

“Well, I know young people who are in love kiss, but it seems like they were…passionate.”

“Passionate?”

“Yes, Bud said Lottie was mad she had to take them along. So was the man. They asked them to stay outside and play for a while, but boys being boys, they saw things.”

“Like?”

“Kissing. Nothing more. But Bud and Chuckey are awfully upset because they said she’s engaged to someone else.” She put her hand up. “That’s all I have to say. Have another parent to see in a few minutes.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Polk. There needs to be more teachers like you, who see their students are upset.”

“They came to me. I can’t prod. But thanks just the same,” she said.

~*~

Raven knew this was going to be a long day. She needed to talk to the Miller family about this incident. Supper time was when all Amish were home, and she didn’t care if she interrupted their meal. She marched up to the Millers and banged on the front door.

Soon Mary appeared. “Raven, you can use the side door. You’re a friend.”

“Mary, I need to talk to you and your husband, Lottie, Bud and Chuckey right now.”

“But I have a roast on the table.”

“This is an emergency.”

Mary’s eyes widened. “Step inside. We’ll all meet you in the living room.”

Raven collapsed on the Amish rocker, forgetting to take her boots off. Snow melted around her feet like a puddle. She pulled them off and when Mary came into the room, asked for a rag. Mary said not to bother, worry etched on her usually meek and mild face.

When everyone took their seats in the traditional circle of Amish rockers and benches, she looked over at Bud and then Chuckey. “I talked to Mrs. Polk today. She called a parent teacher conference. Now boys, just nod yes or no to what I’m about to ask you.

Both boys nodded vigorously.

“When you were in the car last week with Lottie and an English man, was he speeding?”

Both boys nodded yes.

Eli’s head jolted to his daughter. “You out with Bruce again? We told you it was forbidden.”

Lottie quickly got tears in her eyes. “
Daed
, we needed groceries and
mamm
told me to take the boys. How was I to know Bruce would speed?”

Eli turned to his wife. “Did you know she was out alone with Bruce?”

“Nee, I did not. I thought his
mamm
was taking them.” She narrowed her eyes. “Lottie, I told you to stay away from Bruce.”

Raven cleared her throat loudly. “Boys, was there a smell of alcohol in the car?”

They both shook their heads no.

“Were you asked to stay outside the car so Lottie and Bruce could have some privacy?”

Lottie stood up. “Everyone knows Bruce has lots of problems and I only try to help him.”

Raven kept her eyes on Bud and Chuckey. “Boys, how long were you outside?”

“Seems like half an hour.”

Lottie laughed. “You know how kids are. A minute seems like an hour. It was only a few minutes.”

“Boys, did you look into the car?”

They nodded.

“And what did you see?”

Bud looked sheepishly over at Lottie. “Kissing,”

Again, Lottie got up and laughed. “We were not. Bruce just broke down about a family situation and I gave him a hug. That’s all.”

“Boys?” Raven prodded.

Chuckey’s face grew a deep shade of red. “Lottie, we know you’re supposed to marry Joshua. You talk about it all the time, so why not be nice, instead of throwing things at him?”

“I don’t throw things at Joshua, unless we’re playing a game.”

Bud shot up. “And you swear at him. Is that a game, too?”

Lottie put her hand on her heart, as if she was going to faint. “I would never…Bud. Joshua and I talk in German.”

“Well, that’s not how we hear it…”Chuckey said.

Raven asked to speak to only Bud and Chuckey. The family slowly filed out. They went up to the boys’ bedroom. “What do
you mean, she swears at him, and you hear? From Cliffy and Timmy?”

Bud grinned and pulled his walkie-talkie from under his pillow. “This has come in mighty handy. Timmy and Cliffy let us listen in on their arguments, Miss Meadows; it’s like watching TV, only better because we know Lottie.”

Raven couldn’t help but grin.

“She’s a good actress, honestly. She acts all sweet and perfect here when her parents are home, but with Joshua, she turns into Darth Vader.” Bud made the deep breathing sound of the Star Wars character and went over to Chuckey. “Charles, I am your father.”

Raven didn’t know why she started laughing, since this was so serious. Most likely pent up nerves. “Boys, do you know when Bruce comes over here?”

“That’s easy. All the time. Lottie thinks we don’t know, but she meets him near the end of the farm. Being on the third floor, we can see everything for miles,” Chuckey said. “She tells her parents she’s going to check on some sick lady down the road, but she’s playing a game. She gets in the car with Bruce.”

Raven looked up, deep in thought. “I’ll tell you what. When this happens, can you reach me by walkie-talkie?”

Bud jumped up. “Like being spies?”

“When you see Lottie walk down the road and you know Bruce is waiting, how about you tell me a code.”

“Cool,” Chuckey blurted. “How about S.O.S.? Mr. Rowe used that code in the war.”

“Fine. Say S.O.S. That will be our secret code. Promise you’ll do this?”

“Promise.”

“Do not ever get in the car with Bruce again. Understand? I can’t prove anything, but I’ll get to the bottom of this.”

~*~

On the short drive home, she thought of Joshua. Should she tell him about Bruce? Most likely Lottie would tell him the same story, and it didn’t get him off the hook.

So many things she admired about the Amish, but they seemed stuck back in time. She’d watched old movies and seen shot gun weddings. That was what this was, only the Amish were pacifist.

When she passed Joshua’s house, she decided to stop in for a few minutes. Raven made her way across the icy driveway, and knocked at the side door. She heard laughter inside and through the window saw Joshua and the boys were playing Dutch Blitz. Joshua came to the door and stepped back to let her in. She wanted to hug him, tell him he couldn’t ruin his life by marrying such a girl.