The Big O (The Virgin Diaries) (6 page)

BOOK: The Big O (The Virgin Diaries)
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“Oren, you there?”

It’s silent on his end; boy, he must have a huge bladder or maybe tired out from holding up his monster cock.

“Oren?” I try again while still strumming away and by the way, it’s an awful feeling. Very abrasive indeed.

My phone begins to vibrate in my hand and then furiously twirls while vibrating. I pull my phone from my ear and come face to face with fucking Tony the Tiger. I was talking to a damn vibrator with the tip of the cock to my ear.

“Oh fuck,” I squeal, pulling my phone from between my legs, soaked in my favorite scent of bubble bath and dripping water.

8
Load That Bus, Kids


N
ever again will
I listen to you, Scout.” I thump her in the chest with each word. “I could’ve died.”

Scout doesn’t seem affected by my pissed off mood or the fact of me dying by electrocuting my vagina.

“I told you not to answer the call, but no, love stricken O just couldn’t listen.”

“I’m not in love, asshole.” I flop down in one of her student’s chairs, kicking my legs up on a desk.

“Then what is it?”

I ignore her question. “God, can you imagine the headline? Ontario first grade teacher found dead in her tub with vibrator to her ear and pubes fried from her cellphone.”

“Not gonna lie, it would’ve been epic shit,” Scout replies, not missing a beat as she writes vocabulary words on her board.

“I hope I don’t see him today.”

“I’m sure he volunteered to lead the field trip just to see you.”

“Whatever.” I trace the cock and balls carved into one of the student’s desks.

“He does.” Scout pauses writing and swirls around to face me. “I know he does because I talked to him.”

“You what?” My finger stops on the tip of the poorly drawn dick.

“He called and asked for you number.” She holds up a hand. “And before you freak, he got my number from when you texted me.”

“What did he ask you?”

“Well, for your number, and he hinted around about asking you out and oh yeah, your bra size.”

“You’re a dick, Scout.”

“I’m only teasing about the bra size part, but seriously O, he’s into you.”

“I doubt that. He’s just a nice guy.”

The bell rings to kick off the morning, I stand from the chair, and stare down at my hot pink tennis shoes. I love field trips, hence the casual wear. Before I open the door to Scout’s room, I holler over my shoulder, “You have quite the artist in your room. The desk I was sitting in has a nice picture of cock and balls engraved into it.”

“Those little bastards,” she mutters before I shut the door behind me.

Scout’s room is in an outside modular since the fifth grade is the oldest grade in the school and our building has simply just run out of space. I envy her in having her own little island. She can open and close the windows in her room and always gets a shot of fresh air when she walks into the main building. I think I’ve officially diagnosed myself with spring freaking fever. I need May thirtieth to get here real soon.

It takes less than forty minutes to take roll, make sure each student uses the restroom, assign buddies for the field trip, and load the big yellow bus. The station is on the other side of town, so not a long ride, but way too far to trot little first graders over to it.

My nerves are at an all-time high with thoughts of seeing Oren. I haven’t talked to him, well, since sinking my phone down yonder. This is the second phone in less than two weeks. I’m screwed and the even bigger question is what am I going to tell him happened? What if he thinks I’m mad at him? Or what if he can read minds and will be able to see the whole terrible scene playing out with me holding a big purple dick to my ear while trying to get off on my cellphone.

“Oish.” I place the palm of my hand on my forehead.

“Forget something?” Kane asks, looking up at me.

“No.” I try to search for an excuse, but give up. “Never mind.”

It just so happens that Kane was magically partnered with me. I don’t need him explaining his family's history at the station or karate chopping Nathaniel in the nuts while listening to a lecture. He keeps me on my damn toes that’s for sure and has pushed every single button of mine, but there’s something about him I adore. Steered in the right direction, the little sandy haired, toothy grinning critter will go far in life one day and I won’t lie, that’s a big if, but I love him.

I ruffle his out of control hair and tell him what I try to tell him everyday he enters my class. “You’re a smart boy, Kane, and will go far.”

I stand up and face the back of the bus. The station is only blocks away and my little gems can use all the reminding they can get.

“One, two, three, eyes on me.” I clap five times and wait for their undivided attention. Oh, little first graders are such fined trained things in May. It makes my heart all gushy inside.

“Reminder, friends, we are going to be on our best behavior. Let me remind you what we brainstormed in class yesterday. We listen, raise our hands to talk, and keep our hands to ourselves.” I grab the back of my seat as Jan the man, the bus driver, just flew over a speed bump at Mach speed.

“You almost ate shit,” Kane says and then giggles.

I flash him a death glare and remind him. “Language, Kane.”

While the whole time thinking, you little asshole.

“You’ll earn tickets on this field trip for good behavior and also asking appropriate questions. Remember only ask questions, don’t tell stories.”

Jan aka bitchy bus driver slams on the breaks, throwing me forward into the back of the seat. One boob hikes up over the seat while the other is basically decapitated into the back of the seat. And Johnny and Mikey just smile at my one boob peeking up and out of my shirt.

“Remain seated until I stop,” Jan growls.

I stand up, tamping down my anger and turn to her. “Ironic, you’re stopped and I’m not standing.”

My middle finger itches to send her the bird, but I just smile and cuss her out in my head because let’s face it, she’d pound my face in in a fist fight.
Lovely way to start off the field trip.

The students file off the bus successfully with no other incidents and we march right in to the front of the station and wait for the captain to join us. The station is buzzing with bodies moving about everywhere doing their jobs. I scan the room, looking for him. I want to tell him I broke my phone again or I guess at the very least, leave a note for him.

“Hi, I’m Captain Sorenson and you must be Miss Olander.”

“Yes, I am.” I extend my hand to shake his.

“Officer O’Brien had nothing but glowing remarks about you and your class.”

I’m hoping he’ll make me glow one day.

“He was great and the students loved him. They’re very excited about this field trip today.”

“Okay, we’d like to split them into three groups and rotate in stations so they get a more hands on experience.”

“Perfect, I’ll assign mothers with each group and then roam between.”

It takes me no time to strategically organize the groups and send them on their way. I follow close behind Kane’s group, but allow him some space as well. He’s clearly intrigued by the tour of the office for now. Hopefully the field trip will hold his attention long enough before he resorts to any form of nut karate kicking.

“So, is this the bush beating bandit you apprehended the other night?”

I spin around on my heels when I hear his deep chuckle. Officer Sexy is leaned against a desk with feet crossed at the ankles and his arm over his chest. Another officer is perched in a chair behind the desk. He’s opposite of Oren in an older, pudgy way.

I curl my lips in, trying to hide the smile wanting to dance across my face. Just seeing him makes me light up inside and outside. The man has my number.

“Olivia,” he draws out in his deep voice.

“Officer.” I nod back.

The man behind his desk stands up and tips his hat at me. “She’s as beautiful as you described, Oren.”

And then he limps off out of sight.

“That’s Chuck.”

My face is heated crimson red from embarrassment, allowing me only to nod.

“Sorry, he’s my only bud since moving here.”

“It’s fine,” I finally squeak out.

“You haven’t texted me and your phone goes straight to voicemail.”

“About that.” I raise my finger and blush an even deeper red. “I uh- It fell in the tub.”

Oren pushes up from the desk, closing the space between us. “You were talking to me while in the tub.”

I nod when I realize the rest of my body is paralyzed from his nearness and musky smell.

“Naked in the tub and talking to me.” One of his dark eyebrows shoots up.

I can literally feel my V card burst inside me. I may have just had my first O the way my insides tingle and whirl around.

“I’m excited for our dinner.” God, I sound like a fucking idiot.

“And again, Olivia, this is why I can’t be around you when I’m on duty.” He points down between us to his tented pants.

I gasp and then slap my palm over my mouth and then look into his eyes.
Could I seriously be anymore of a ten year-old little girl right now?

“I have a tour of my cop car to give, Olivia.”

“Then I have a tour to attend.” I wink at him.

“God, I wish it was Friday, Sexy Teacher.”

And I keep my eyes glued to his taut ass in his slacks as he saunters away from me.

“Headlights, Miss Olander.” I pry my gaze away from the sexiest ass on the planet to see Kane with both of his pointer fingers sprung out from his chest and his little eyebrows waggling at high speed.

And as sure as shit, high beams are on full force. I need to get control of those damn things when around Oren.

“Oh Kane.” I ruffle his hair and follow his small group around to the different stations. All the questions the students ask make me proud and it’s one of the rare and genuine moments in teaching where I’m proud beyond words.

The little group I tag along with, which includes Kane, stops outside for their last station. Stepping out into the glaring sunlight, I pull down my Ray Bans and smile when I spot Oren.

I feel a little hand in mine and when I look down, it’s Kane staring up at me, doing his best to shade his eyes with his hand. “Do you like him?”

“Uh?” I heard the question clear as day, but I think it’s the shock coursing through my body that makes me speechless.

“Do you like Officer Lady Boner?”

“Kane.” I squeal a bit too loud and cover my mouth.

“I heard Ms. Johnson call him that one day when I came back in for my homework.”

“It’s Officer O’Brien and he’s a nice man.”

“You want to make babies with him, uh?”

“Kane, where do you get this stuff from?”

“My sister in high school. She says that every time Channing Tatum comes on TV and then her friend tells her to quit dry humping her pillow.”

“You need to not listen to your sister, but can I tell you a secret?”

Kane perches up on his toes and I lean over to whisper in his ear. “I do think he’s kind of cute.”

“Well, if you two decide to make babies together and he’s mean to ya, I’ll karate him in the nuts.”

I clutch his little hand in mine and just shake my head while we make our way closer to the group gathering around the cop car. “Kane, do you know what it means when your sister says that?”

“Oh yeah.”

I cringe and send up a Hail Mary. “What does it mean?”

“When you make your dog play Barbies.”

I wait for his punch line or devilish grin, but he goes into a long-winded story about one time of a making baby session that involved a chichiwawa and a few Barbies. Sometimes I wonder what some of the moms smoked while preggo and definitely think his older sister needs a stern lesson in using the earmuffs tactic when around Kane.

“Okay, shhh, buddy, let’s listen.” I pat Kane’s shoulders and square him up to Oren who's ready to begin.

Just like in the classroom, Oren entertains the kids, explaining and showing them the different parts to his car. And of course, even the curious boys start asking about pepper spray, guns, and if he’s ever had to take someone down. Oren stuns me with how gracefully and comfortable he is with little kids. Most men his age tend to stove up and brush them off.

“Any other questions?” Oren asks, surveying our little crowd for a moment.

Kane turns around to me and whispers, “Want me to see if he has a chichiwawa?”

The giggle escapes before I can stifle it. “No, Kane. It’s fine.”

Amy in the front shoots her hand up and Oren calls on her, letting the class know it’s the final question before it’s time to head to the bus.

“Can you handcuff our teacher?”

It’s the first time I see Oren flush with embarrassment and possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever witnessed.

“You’d like what?” He clears his throat.

“Can you put handcuffs on Miss Olander?”

He takes a moment to glance up at me before shaking his head from side to side. “Why would you want to see your teacher in cuffs?”

She only shrugs while the rest of the class starts chanting cuff her, cuff her. It takes Oren a moment to get his bearings before he holds up his hand to silence the class and then curls his pointer finger at me.

“Miss Olander, the students would like to see you in cuffs.”

“Go.” A choir of little voices shout and begin to tug me by my wrists.

I finally make my way through the group up to him and whisper in his ear while the students continue to cheer, “About time you cuff me.”

“Olivia.” He curls in his lips, stopping his words for a second. “You are going to be the damn death of me.”

And I swear to the virginity gods all over the world that in this moment I have every ounce of courage to reach up on my tiptoes and kiss his plump sexy-ass lips, but then I’m reminded of where I am.

Oren spins me around so fast I can’t even begin to comprehend what’s going on. Dirty thoughts race in my mind, but I know none of that’s about to go down.

“You always need to be swift, smart, and accurate in your decisions when apprehending someone.” Oren tilts his face down towards the crook of my exposed neck, letting out a puff of air that tickles my tender skin.

“Friends, you’re so silly for wanting to see me in cuffs,” I say with a huge smile back to my students, trying to distract myself from the rock hard body pressed up to the back of mine.

Oren continues on. “Sometimes you just know deep down in your gut that you have the bad guy captured, but other times it takes more investigating and paperwork.”

Click. Click. Click. The cold metal snaps around my wrists. Oren intertwines his fingers in mine, gently squeezing as he keeps on with his speech. I don’t miss one of his hidden messages.

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