The Boudoir Bible (6 page)

THE MALE AND FEMALE
genitals are the center of the human body’s vast garden of sensual delights, and our fascination with them is innate. But our perception of the genitals (and the body as a whole) is still shaped by pleasure-inhibiting myths and misconceptions that were founded on Judeo-Christian morals.

The fathers of Western philosophy can be considered instigators of the destructive mind-body dichotomy that led to the denigration of humanity’s physical being. It began with Plato (427–347 B.C.) and his seminal dialogue
Phaedo
, wherein the dialectician Socrates, awaiting his execution, considers the chasm between the temporal body and the immortal soul. Aristotle (384–322 B.C.), the foremost student of Plato, furthered this point of view on the relationship of mind to body, developing a position on the relationship of male to female that Judeo-Christian authorities would later solidify into dogma.

Aristotle placed great emphasis upon the differences between the genders, which included the male and female reproductive systems. Considering man to be whole, or intact, he thought of women as little more than “mutilated” and “deformed” males, going so far as to maintain that the male gender was entirely responsible for the creation of life. He limited women’s role in procreation to the housing of homunculi, the miniature, preformed individuals he believed to be stored in the male testicles. The uterus was only a convenient vessel in which the miraculous, creative powers of man were carried to term.

It was not until the end of the seventeenth century that this construction would be scientifically challenged. In 1672, with the help of a rudimentary microscope, Dutch physician Reinier de Graaf discovered what he thought to be eggs (but were actually the follicles on the ovaries, in which the ova grow). Five years later, Antonie van Leeuwenhoek, the Dutch microscopist and a student of de Graaf, discovered spermatozoa. But the critical role of woman in the procreative process would not be scientifically proven until 1879, when the Swiss physician and zoologist Hermann Fol finally observed the entry of a sperm into an egg. Although his research was conducted with sea urchins, it served to prove that males and females had equally important roles in the procreative process. This led to the conclusion that women were not nearly as incomplete or pro-creatively passive as early philosophical authorities had taught. All the same, men continued to be considered superior to their female counterparts, both sexually and in virtually every aspect of human existence beyond the domestic domain until the revolutionary 1960s.

It was not until the second half of the relatively enlightened twentieth century that researchers would scientifically prove that sexual satisfaction is not determined by gender, that woman’s ability to experience heightened degrees of sexual pleasure is in no way inferior to that of their male counterparts, and that the male and female genitals are not nearly as different as they appear to be on the surface.

In spite of the past fifty years of “liberation,” the magical source of the sexual vibration is still shrouded in shame and misunderstanding. To dismantle pleasure-inhibiting myths and misconceptions and eventually unveil the extent of our bodies’ capacity to provide pleasure, a better understanding of what I call “the anatomy of desire” must be acquired.

First, let’s put our most apparent differences into perspective by taking a closer look at the formative stages of human life. As we all learned in biology class at school, the combination of two X chromosomes determines the female gender, while that of the X and Y chromosomes results in the male sex. But what our teachers failed to tell us is that, from a biological point of view, we all start out as same-sexed creatures. Gender differentiation does not occur until the eighth week of gestation. When a fetus is genetically determined to be male, at that time it is showered with gender-differentiating hormones such as testosterone. This same hormonal shower serves as a signal for Mother Nature to “sew up” what would otherwise continue to develop into the female genitals, resulting in a pouch of skin—the scrotum—that is joined in the middle by what looks like a seam.

The female fetus does not receive a similar shower of estrogen, as the role of that hormone does not come fully into play until girls reach puberty, at which time estrogen surges, helping to build the breasts and the hips of a budding woman and prompting her monthly menstrual cycle.

Male or female, the genitals are fully formed by the sixteenth week of gestation, and while the final results appear distinctly different from an anatomical point of view, the male and female genitals are composed of analogous components that share similar forms and functions. By exploring our similarities, rather than emphasizing our
differences, we can begin to reevaluate the merits of our differences and evolve as more informed and confident sexual equals.

In the sections that follow, please refer to the comparative anatomical illustrations of the male and female genitals on
plates II
–
III
, which highlight our similarities, making for a more comprehensive understanding of sexual anatomy and physiology.

The Penis at Rest

From an early age, a boy cannot help but be familiar with the streamlined architecture of his penis, composed of the shaft, the glans, called the head, and the scrotum. The shaft, extending from within the body, between the scrotum and the anus, to the glans, which crowns the penis, defines this organ’s length and breadth. The glans, the most sensitive area of the male body, is protected (in uncircumcised men) when the penis is not erect by a double layer of retractable skin known as the prepuce, or foreskin. The foreskin is connected to the frenulum, the tissue connected to the V-shaped notch in the glans on the underside of the penis. The removal of the foreskin via circumcision exposes the frenulum and the glans in its entirety, even when the penis is at rest.

The scrotal sac, with its primordial seam, is positioned approximately two-thirds down the length of the shaft. Within the sac are carried the testicles, or gonads, where spermatozoa, the vital seed of the male sex, and other hormones are produced and stored. (Neither sperm nor ejaculate fluid is generated until the male’s puberty.) The only opening in the penis is at its tip. Nicknamed the U-spot in the 1980s, the urethral opening releases both urine from the bladder and semen from the male reproductive tract. The glands that generate the ejaculate fluid are explored later in this chapter.

The Matrix and the Crown Jewel

The female genitals—with their more internal, less “obvious” design than the male genitals—tend to be misunderstood, in part because of
the dire state of modern-day sex education. Take, for example, the American system of sex education programming, which has long been a pawn in a political game between religious conservatives and liberal groups. As late as the 1960s, sex education programs were not mandatory, and schools that opted to offer sex education were obliged to limit the subject matter to sexual anatomy, disease, and reproduction. Even during the first decade of the twenty-first century, during the Bush administration, state funding was denied to any public school that did not teach “abstinence only” sex education, although studies have proven that this kind of focus does nothing to prevent teen pregnancy or halt the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. And, unfortunately, while funding for comprehensive teen pregnancy prevention has improved under the Obama administration, the taboo-ridden topics of sexual well-being and satisfaction are still off-limits within the classroom.

And so it is little wonder that the female genitals continue to inspire misunderstanding, as well as terminological confusion. The word “vagina,” for example, is all too often incorrectly used to describe the female genitals as a whole. I recently cringed over and over again while reading an Eve Ensler–inspired article entitled “The Vagina Dialogues” in a popular women’s magazine. Among other absurdities, the dyeing, shaving, and waxing of the vagina are mentioned. (
Ouch!
) When sex education truly becomes educational, the term “vagina” will be used to indicate the vaginal canal alone, not the female genitals as a whole. The term
vulva
, Latin for “wrapping,” or “matrix,” should be used to correctly indicate the visible portion of the female genitals, and, more precisely, the visible elements of the clitoral system. The etymology of
vulva
suggests that the ancient Romans, noted masters of the arts of erotic loving, were well aware of the gifts that lie within its organic, flowerlike form.

Women (and men) are rarely encouraged to simply observe and explore the female genitals, and many young girls reach sexual
maturity without ever having looked at the marvel that lies between their legs. If you are a woman and have never viewed your own vulva, use a mirror to familiarize yourself with each visible element of your genitals, referring also to
plate II
. If you are a man and your partner is a woman, share in the joy that such an exploration can yield. Shedding deep-rooted genital taboos and guilt is crucial to our ability to partake of the pleasures that our genitals are designed to provide.

The crown jewel of the vulva is the female glans, more commonly known as the clitoris. The clitoris, which expands inward rather than outward as the penis does, is deceivingly small. However, when the clitoral system, which is actually composed of eighteen different elements, is considered in its entirety, it is comparable in size to the male genital structure.

Like the male glans, the female glans is composed of erectile tissues that become turgid during sexual arousal. The clitoris contains more nerve endings than any other area of the female or male body, and, remarkably, it is the only component of the human anatomy whose sole function is to provide sexual pleasure.

The inner lips, or labia minora, of the vagina, framing its entryway, converge just below the pubic mound to form the clitoral hood and the bridle. The clitoral hood corresponds to the foreskin in males, and it represents the greatest visual similarity between the male and female genitals—when the penis is at rest and if the foreskin has been left intact. Like the foreskin, the clitoral hood protects the glans. The bridle, framing the clitoris, corresponds to the frenulum in males. It is similarly represented by a distinctive upside-down V shape. In both men and women, the frenulum constitutes a very sensitive area of the body.

The female urethral opening, the smallest orifice in the vulva’s panorama, is very sensitive and capable of providing extremely pleasurable sensations, just as the glans does for men, especially when stimulated orally. The entryway to the vaginal canal is the largest opening in the vulva. Visible remnants of the hymen, the fine membrane that closes the entryway to the vaginal canal from birth to adolescence, may be seen from the opening of the vaginal canal. The integrity of the hymen was considered proof of female virginity, but unjustly so, as the hymen can erode or be broken long before a penis—or anything else, for that matter—penetrates the vaginal opening. The hymen is considered part of the clitoral system, as is the fourchette, the area of skin that lies directly behind the opening of the vagina.

PLATE I
RITUAL MASTURBATION SESSION WITH MIRROR