The Chaos (33 page)

I have nightmares too. I see the same thing over and over again – a slight figure walking away from me into the flames. I can’t reach her. She doesn’t hear me shouting. She never turns round. I just have to stand there, watching, as the flames take hold of her.

Sarah hardly sleeps, what with the boys and Mia. The thing is, Mia’s no trouble. She don’t cry. She feeds and sleeps and feeds some more. You’d think a three-month-old baby would be the most trouble of all in a place like this, but she’s a doddle: calm, settled, happy even. When I’m right on the edge, when I think I can’t take any more, I pick her up and hold her, and I start to feel human again.

The soldiers in charge of the camp start to ration water and I know it’s time to leave.

‘Where are we going to go?’ Sarah asks.

‘I dunno. Somewhere where they grow stuff to eat. Somewhere near a river, so we can have as much water as we need. Somewhere near a wood so we can burn stuff and keep warm.’

She sighs.

‘You want to move to the country. There’s nothing there, Adam. We’ll starve. We’ll die.’

‘Do you call this living? There’s cholera in the camp now. They’re keeping it quiet, but I heard that three people have died already. We got to get the kids out, Sarah. This is a bad place.’

She frowns and hugs Mia closer to her. 

‘Are the boys’ numbers bad, Adam? What are their numbers?’

My stomach turns over. We haven’t talked about the
numbers. I’ve tried to block them out, not to look at anyone, not to think about it, because when I do, it does my head in. Now it comes flooding back in again, like a dam bursting.

‘It don’t matter about the numbers, Sarah!’ Without knowing it, I’m shouting. ‘You can’t trust them. Numbers change. A bad number can turn into a good one. A good number can turn into a bad one.’

She puts one hand out and strokes my arm.

‘It’s all right, Adam. It’s all right. Calm down. We’ll go. We’ll get out of here.’

I try to get my breathing back under control, stop rocking backwards and forwards.

‘I’m sorry, Sarah. I didn’t mean to get het up. It’s just … just …’

‘I know. I know,’ she soothes. ‘It’s too late to leave now. We’ll go tomorrow.’

In the morning we quietly pack up the few things we’ve got left.

‘Are we doing the right thing?’ Sarah asks just before we leave the camp. There are dark circles under her eyes and her face has got thin. She’s still beautiful though. I can’t help looking at her and as she searches my face for answers, her number fills my head again, and suddenly I want it to be real. Her number means hope and love and light. Her number makes me want to believe in happy endings.

I cup her face with my hands, and kiss her gently.

‘Yeah, Sarah,’ I say. ‘We’re doing the right thing. We’ll be all right, you’ll see.’

And I want to believe it. I do. I really do.

We take a last look round, then she puts Mia in her sling, she gets the boys to hold hands with her and I pick up our bags, and we walk away.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to thank everyone at The Chicken House and Scholastic – you’ve made my dreams come true and changed my life; Barry, Imogen, Rachel, Elinor, Chrissie, Nicki, Claire and Esther, and my fellow writing Chickens – what inspiring people you are. Thank you also Mary and Becky, publicists extraordinaire, and Steve for your amazing cover design. Thanks to my parents, Shirley and David, my parents-in-law Ann and Peter, and all my family and friends for sharing the fun. Thank you to Ali and Pete, who mean more to me than books ever will, even if writing takes me away from you sometimes. Thank you to my friends at Bath and North East Somerset Council and Keynsham Town Council who have taken an interest in my other, ‘secret’, life and supported me. And finally thanks to the people who read ‘Numbers’ and took the time to tell me that they liked it – I had no idea how touching your feedback would be.

‘You Are Not Alone’, with lyrics by Robert S. Kelly (© R. Kelly Publishing Inc, 1994). Produced by Michael Jackson and R. Kelly, and released by Michael Jackson in August 1995 as the second single from his album ‘History: Past, Present and Future, Book I’ (© Epic Records, 1995).

From the Chicken House

Rachel Ward’s new novel, NUMBERS: THE CHAOS, made even greater demands on my nerves than her first. Here’s an author who can climb into your head, create truly believable characters, and give you a superb thriller with colossal consequences – all in one book!

Remember the scene with Jem’s son at the end of NUMBERS? Spooky wasn’t it? You knew he was special, I’m sure. Well, his future is even stranger than you can imagine …

Barry Cunningham
Publisher

Copyright

Text © Rachel Ward 2010

First paperback edition published in Great Britain in 2010
This electronic edition published in 2012
The Chicken House
2 Palmer Street
Frome, Somerset BA11 1DS
United Kingdom
www.doublecluck.com

Rachel Ward has asserted her rights under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988, to be identified as the author of this work.

All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on-screen. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic, mechanical or otherwise, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express prior written permission of the publisher.

Produced in the UK by LibreDigital

Cover design by Steve Wells

British Library Cataloguing in Publication data available.

ISBN 978-1-906427-30-6
ePub eISBN 978-1-908435-04-0
Mobipocket eISBN 978-1-908435-05-7