The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings (118 page)

George, Dan,
125

getaway, the,
251

Getting Organized
(Winston),
47

gifts

charitable donations in lieu of,
208
,
209
–10

for each other,
214

engagement party,
26

etiquette,
26
,
203
–5,
209

fantasy wedding gifts,
210

favors for guests,
214
–15

for members of the wedding,
213
,
240

of money,
209

overview,
203

registering for,
205
–9

returning,
217

tracking and acknowledging,
53
,
210
,
212
,
215
–17

GLAAD,
22
,
262

gloves,
181

Golden Orchid Associations,
13

Greek Orthodox religion,
117

Greenberg-Dilena, Diane,
155

Greenburgh, Rabbi Julie,
121

green/environmental tips,
55
–57,
193

Grigolia, Rev. Mary,
121

groom's cake,
168
–69

guest book,
246

guest list

family members,
64
–66

and food choices,
147
–48

for home weddings,
100

and music,
220

overview,
63
–64

selecting the finalists,
64
,
66
–67

straight people's,
63

timing,
81

See also
invitations

Guibord, Gwynne,
120

guilt and shame

and invitation list,
63
–64

and parents,
23
,
51

societal,
121

H

hair,
188

hair wreaths,
194

Hallmark same-sex wedding cards,
xiv

handfasting,
116
–17

hand letterpress,
76

Harlem in 1920s,
14

Hawaii,
15
,
257

Hawaii Gay Weddings,
257

Heckman, Neva,
14

helper bee for rehearsal and wedding day,
238
–40

heterophobia,
33

Hinduism,
115
–16

historical society,
95

home weddings

ceremony,
101
,
103

friends' help,
105
–6

overview,
99

potential problems,
103
–4

professional help,
104
–5

reception/party,
102

tips for,
100
–101,
103

wedding night accommodations,
253

and wedding style,
100

homosexuality, plants associated with,
199
–200

Homosexual Viewpoint, The,
14

honeymoon

booking the room,
258
–60

destinations,
254
–56

gay ideas,
256
–58

history of,
254

overview,
253

registering your,
208
–9

staycation vs.,
253
–54

travel tips,
258

hotels and catering halls,
91
–93

Human Rights Campaign,
5

hyacinth,
200

hyphenating last names,
262

I

Iamblichus,
13

Iceland,
17

I-don't-want-this-anymore shower,
211

index card system for organizing,
53

insecurities of status quo,
5

interfaith weddings,
89

international home exchange,
257
–58

Internet.
See
online services

interviewing caterers,
145
–47

invitations

basics,
69
–70

charitable donation in lieu of gifts card,
209
–10

etiquette,
69
,
75
,
83
–84

evites,
78

expense,
75
–76,
78

invitation package,
71
–74

nonstandard choices,
78
–80

overview,
67
–68

and presidential recognition,
84

professional assistance,
74
–75

questions for printer,
78

response cards,
72
,
73

stuffing and addressing the envelopes,
83
–84

timeline,
81
–82

tissue paper,
74

Irish blessing,
127

“Is a Homophile Marriage Possible” (Daughters of Bilitis),
14

J

Jansson, Sven-Olav,
15

jewelry,
188

Jewish blessing,
127

Jewish ceremonies,
112
,
118
–19,
132

John, Sir Elton,
xiv

Johnson, Patty,
94

Join the Impact,
17

Jolie, Angelina,
4
,
5

Jonsson, Hans,
15

Judaism,
112
.
See also
Jewish blessing; Jewish ceremonies

jumping the broom,
117

“just in case” kit,
241
–42

L

ladslove,
200

Lambda's marriage resolution,
96

lang, k.d.,
188

last name changes,
262
–64

Leaves of Grass
(Whitman),
200

legal issues,
57

legalized gay marriage,
xiii
,
xiv

legal name changes,
263
–64

leis,
194

Levey, Patti,
167

LGBT travel companies,
255

lifestyles of gays and lesbians,
5
.
See also
ambassadors, acting as

liquor liability insurance,
158

liquor service,
154
–58

lists

budget sheet,
49
–50

compatibility questions,
28
–29

contract checklist,
53

countdown,
59
–60

environmentally correct wedding tips,
55
–57

fantasy wedding gifts,
210

first checklist,
46

florist ideas,
198

for home ceremonies,
103
–5

honeymoon decisions,
254

initial decisions,
46

“just in case” kit,
241
–42

for last minute before you leave the reception,
252

location questions,
88
–89,
97
–98

night before checklist,
242

parental questions,
7

photographer alternatives,
231
–32

photographer questions,
230
–31

precautions for business dealings,
52

religious ceremony questions,
88
–89

spiritual location questions,
88
–89

tipping tips,
54

toaster tips,
248

videographer questions,
232
–33

wedding hosts/hostesses dos and don'ts,
247

See also
guest list

literary shower,
211

living together,
19

local ordinances,
95
,
103

location

for ceremony,
87
–89

hotels and catering halls,
91
–93

and music,
220

onsite questions,
97
–98

overview,
85

preliminary questions,
86
–87

private clubs,
93
–94

private homes,
94

for reception,
90
–96

restaurants and nightclubs,
93

scouting for,
43
–44

unexpected locations,
94
–96

water weddings,
96

Lockhart, Jane “Sweet Lady Jane,”
165
,
167
,
168
,
169

loosely tied bouquets,
192

Los Angeles
Times,
xiv

love and commitment,
5

love songs,
130

Lucian,
13

Lyon, Phyllis,
16

M

Madonna,
224

make-your-own invitations,
78

male vs. female attitudes toward weddings,
42

Mallon, Father James,
116

map card,
73

market value of flowers,
199

marriage, effect of,
264
–66

marriage, traditional,
4
–5

Martin, Del,
16

Maryland,
17

Mary Tyler Moore Show, The
(TV series),
177

Massachusetts,
16

massages, premarriage,
241

MCCs (Metropolitan Community Churches),
113
–14

members of the wedding

apparel,
188
–89

civilian officials,
111
–12

gifts for,
213
,
240

overview,
108
–10

processional and recessional,
131

and rehearsal,
238
–39

See also
clergy

memories.
See
photographer; videos and videography

Mendelsohn, Matt,
230

men-'n'-women-day-o'-beauty shower,
211

Metropolitan Community Churches (MCCs),
113
–14

Midsummer Night's Dream, A
(Shakespeare),
200

milestone celebration,
6

Ming dynasty,
13

Modern Bride,
255

money issues,
45
,
48
–51.
See also
expenses

Money
magazine,
48

morals of status quo,
5

Mormonism,
116

music for ceremony,
128
–30,
239

music for reception

background music,
224
–25

bands,
220
–23

dance music,
225

DJs,
224

overview,
219
–20

shopping for bands,
222

Texas two-stepping,
225

N

Najimy, Kathy,
105

name card with invitation,
74

name changes,
262
–64

National Freedom to Marry Day,
16

Native Americans,
13

negotiations.
See
communication

Netherlands,
16

New Adventures of Old Christine, The
(TV series),
xiv

New Hampshire,
16

Newsom, Gavin,
16

New York,
17

New Yorker
magazine,
15

New York Times,
262

night before, together vs. separate,
241

nightclubs and restaurants,
93

Northern Exposure
(TV series),
15

Norway,
17

nosegays,
192

notebook method for organizing,
52
–53

O

O'Connor, Ginger,
94

O'Donnell, Rosie,
xiv
,
245
,
258

offset printing,
76

Olson, Diane,
16

“One with the Lesbian Wedding, The” (
Friends
TV series),
45

online services

for bridal gowns,
185
–86

for invitations,
74

online registries,
206
–7

for rental items,
172
–73

open house reception,
101

orchids,
200

Oregon,
16

organizational skills,
52
–53

origami cranes,
132

Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, The,
126

P

Palm Springs, California,
256
–57

pansies,
200

paper for invitations,
76

parents

announcing your engagement to,
23
–25

and funds for the wedding,
48

prepared responses for,
7

and wedding plans,
45
,
51

parking and traffic regulations,
103

parties, pre-wedding,
26
,
210
–13

passed tray food service,
151
,
154

People
magazine,
15

performance art for reception,
225
–26

Perignon, Dom,
157

Perry, Rev. Troy,
14

Pew card,
73
–74

photo albums,
228
,
229

photocopying,
76

photographer

choosing,
105
,
229
–31,
232

contract,
231

digital photography,
228
–29

options,
231
–32

overview,
227

photojournalist vs. classic photographer,
229
–30

posed shots vs. candid shots,
229
–30

postmodern portraiture,
232

Pitt, Brad,
4
,
5