The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings (119 page)

Places
(Hahn and Stoumen),
95
–96

Polaroid cameras,
215

politics of same-sex marriage,
4

Pompadour, Madame de,
157

Portugal,
17

Post, Emily,
168

power of attorney, traveling with,
258

prejudice, dealing with,
33

premarital discussions or counseling,
26
–29,
121
–22

premarriage seclusion,
241

prenuptial agreements,
137

preparing for married life,
26
–29,
121
–22

Presbyterian Church,
115

presentation bouquets,
192

presents.
See
gifts

presidential recognition,
84

pre-wedding parties,
210
–13

printers for invitations,
74

printing methods for invitations,
76

printing proofs,
78

privacy after ceremony,
128

private clubs,
93
–94

private homes,
94
Producers, The
(film),
222

professional help,
104
–5.
See also
caterers; vendors; wedding planners

program for ceremony,
120
,
129

pronouncement in the ceremony,
120
,
126
–27

proposal, the,
20
–21

public location for ceremony,
86

Pyle, George,
261
–62

Q

Quaker ceremonies,
114
–15

R

racially mixed marriages,
5

rain card,
73

readings,
125
–26

reasons not to marry,
11

receiving line,
245
–46

reception

bouquet, et al., tossing of,
250

cake cutting,
249

and children attending,
83
,
174

dancing traditions,
248
–49

final appearance and getaway,
250
–51

flowers at,
196

invitation wording,
70
,
72

location for,
90
–96,
101
,
102

receiving line,
245
–46

toasts,
12
–13,
26
,
246
,
248

See also
entertainment

recessional,
129

recycling and recycled products,
55
–57

registered partners,
16

registering for gifts,
205
–9

rehearsals

emotional rehearsal,
120

rehearsal dinner,
240

ribbons from shower gifts as bouquet for,
212

wedding rehearsal,
238
–40

relationship agreement, notarized,
29

religious ceremonies

Buddhist,
115

and flowers,
195

Jewish,
112
,
118
–19,
132

locations for,
87
–89

Metropolitan Community Church,
113
–14

overview,
110
–11,
112

Quaker,
114
–15

religions open to,
112
–16

and rituals,
116
–19

Unitarian,
15
,
115

See also
clergy

rentals

champagne fountain,
157

foliage,
196

generator,
104

paraphernalia for weddings,
171
–74

reception entertainment,
226

tuxedos,
179
–80

wedding gowns,
186

resources,
267
–68

restaurants and nightclubs,
93

Restoration Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,
116

R Family Vacations,
258

ribbons from shower gifts,
212

rings

alternative choices,
136
–37

engagement rings,
21
–22

engraving,
137
–38

gold rings,
136

meaning of,
133
–35

overview,
133

purchasing process,
135
–36

superstitions about,
138

Roc
(sitcom),
15

role models,
5

Roman Catholic Church,
116

Roman Empire,
13

Rorex, Clela,
15

roses,
192
,
199
,
200
,
201

Russell, Rosalind,
182

Russian Orthodox religion,
117

Ruth
1
:16–17,
125
–26

S

Salina
Journal,
Kansas,
261
–62

Saltzman, Beth,
167

same-sex couplings timeline,
13
–17

same-sex marriages

decision to marry,
8
–11

effect of,
264
–66

emotionally-charged issues,
4
–5

laws about,
7
–8,
57

as milestone celebration,
6

names for,
11

newspaper announcements,
261
–62

overview,
xiii
,
xiv

parental questions,
7

and personalized paraphernalia,
76

religious issues concerning,
89

as road to equality,
4

See also
ambassadors, acting as; ceremony

Samuel,
18
:1–5;
20
:16–17,
126

San Francisco, California,
16

save-the-date cards,
81

seclusion (
yichud
),
128

Sedaris, David,
264

self-care before the wedding,
237

setting the date,
43

Shakespeare, William,
126
,
200

shame.
See
guilt and shame

shipboard weddings,
96

shoes,
187
–88

shopping.
See
vendors

showers,
210
–12

single stem bouquets,
192

sit-down food service,
154

Slovenia,
16

smudging the temple,
117
–18

society bands,
220

Society of Friends (Quakers),
114
–15

soft bars,
154
–55

software programs,
52

solo bouquets,
192

soloists or small ensemble groups,
224
–25

sound system,
98
,
103
,
224
,
239

South Africa,
16

Spain,
16

Spontaneous Agreement,
20

spousal benefits to gay city employees,
15

“spouse” as term of choice,
264

Sprague, Lois,
120

spring cleaning shower,
211

state laws on name changes,
264

stationers for invitations,
74

St. Augustine,
4

staycation vs. honeymoon,
253
–54

Stein, Gertrude,
200

Stewart, Martha,
168

straight weddings,
xi
,
63

style of florist,
197

style of wedding.
See
themes

superstitions,
138
,
241
,
245

Sweden,
15
,
17

Sweet Lady Jane Bakery, West Hollywood,
165
,
167
,
168
,
169

Switzerland,
16

symbolism

breaking the glass,
118

in ceremony,
111
,
119
–20

chuppah,
132

creating your own,
107

engagement ring,
21

food rituals,
118

handfasting,
117

Jordan almonds,
214

name change,
262

rings,
119
–20,
133
–34,
137
–38

water or fire rituals,
117
–18

water weddings,
96

wedding cake,
165
,
249

yichud
(seclusion),
128

synergistic theorem of wedding planning,
45

T

Takei, George,
xiii

tents,
102

Texas two-stepping,
225

thank-you notes,
53
,
210
,
215
,
216
–17,
232

themes

and food choices,
147
–49

matching invitation to,
67
,
78
–80

overview,
44

Sweetheart Dance,
246

western,
196
,
225

See also
flowers; location

thermography,
76

throwing of the “rice,”
250
–51

timelines

from engagement to wedding,
26
–27,
43

invitations,
81
–82

same-sex couplings,
13
–17

tipping servers,
54

toasts,
12
–13,
26
,
246
,
248

Torch Song Trilogy
(film),
66

tracking gifts,
53
,
212
,
215
–17

traffic and parking regulations,
103

transportation on the wedding day,
244
–45

travel card,
73

travel companies, LGBT,
255

travel destination favorites,
255
–58

“tussy mussy” nosegay,
192

tuxedos,
178
–80

TV series weddings,
xiv
,
15
,
45

Twain, Mark,
135

two-step weddings,
225

Tyler, Robin,
16

U

unexpected locations,
94
–96

Unitarian Church,
15
,
115

United Kingdom,
16

United Methodist Church,
115

United Nations Kimberley Process Certification Scheme,
21

Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches (MCC),
14

Universal Life Church,
116

University Club,
93
–94

Uruguay,
16

U.S. Census Bureau,
5

V

Van Gelder, Lindsy,
258
–59

veils,
187

vendors

all-the-way gay,
34
–35,
207
,
255
,
256
–60

car services,
244
–45

case histories and true stories,
32
,
35
–37

coming out to,
31
–32,
75
,
90
,
206

confirming with,
237

florists,
197
–200

for invitations,
74
–75

overview,
51
,
52

planning ahead,
33

videographer,
232
–33

as wedding industry,
51
–52,
184

See also
caterers; online services; photographer

venue.
See
location

Vermont,
16
,
57

videos and videography

of ceremony,
232

choosing a videographer,
232
–33

couple's lives,
226

interviews with guests,
234

invitation as,
80

of wedding,
89

violets,
199
–200

vows,
119
,
121
–25,
242

W

Waddell, Tom,
15

Washington (state),
16

Washington
Blade,
23

water rituals,
117

“wed,” derivation of,
4

wedding.
See
ceremony

wedding announcements,
67

wedding bands (music),
220
,
222
–23.
See also
rings

wedding cake

cost,
162
–63

cutting the,
249

delivery and setup,
165
–66

groom's cake,
168
–69

overview,
161
–62

saving for first anniversary,
169

and sheet cakes,
169

shopping for,
163
–65

symbolism of,
165
,
249

top for,
37
,
166
–68

wedding catalogs,
74
,
76

wedding deprivation, effect of,
42

Wedding Etiquette Complete
(Bentley),
73
,
90

wedding gifts.
See
gifts

wedding gowns,
182
–83,
185
–87

wedding industry,
51
–52,
184

wedding party.
See
members of the wedding

wedding planners

caterers as,
104

gifts for,
54

and invitations,
74
–75

and location,
87

overview,
55

wedding planning