The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings (65 page)

Semper amenus
(May we love forever)

Deux corps, un coeur
(Two bodies and one heart)

Love him who gave thee this ring of gold / ‘Tis he must kiss thee when thou art old

This circle, though but small about / The devil, jealousy, will keep out

My love is fixed; I will not range / I like my choice too well to change

Lots of contemporary couples put the wedding date and each other's names or initials on the inside; others put entire phrases. We've heard of rings saying everything from “The heart is a resilient muscle” (a Woody Allen quote), to Robert Browning's “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be,” to “
Ahoovot chaiim”
(Hebrew for “beloveds for life”). Use your imaginations and follow your hearts. Remember that the ancients believed rings to have magical powers. Maybe they were right.

Wedding Ring Superstitions: Read ‘Em and Weep

Never buy a wedding ring on a Friday.

It's bad luck to buy a wedding ring if another person has tried it on. (Good luck trying to figure out if someone has.)

After you've bought it, never try on the ring for fun before the wedding or you will never marry.

Never drop the ring during the ceremony; the person who drops it will be the first to die.

If the ring should ever break, there will be a quarrel or separation.

It's bad luck to lose your wedding band. (We assume this is because your spouse just might ask you why you took it off.)

The wedding repast must be delectable whether the menu is simple or elaborate, and it must be attractively served with suitable appointments. All these points should be given careful consideration, as good food served badly and with poor appointments loses much of its appeal; while poor food on beautiful china and silver deftly served is also not equal to the occasion.

—M
ARGUERITE
B
ENTLEY
,
Wedding Etiquette Complete
(1956)

W
HAT YOU SERVE
your guests and how may well be one of the major things they will remember about your wedding years down the line (even though you yourself will probably not get to taste the food and, if you do, won't remember it). “Oh, yeah, Henry and Eddie's wedding was really incredible. They had a great carving station, a vodka bar, and that guy who made ice cream sundaes.” This is not to say that your ceremony wasn't unbelievably touching, that you didn't look spectacular, and that you didn't have the hottest band around; it's just that for some reason, most people remember food very distinctly. The food may be just cake and coffee, but you'll want the cake to be made and decorated to your specifications and the coffee to be tantalizing. And if the food tastes bad or you run out, people will remember that too. Since for many people the wedding feast will be the most important and expensive single meal they will ever host, it's no wonder some get tied up in knots over menu and presentation. Don't fall into that trap; this should be a joyous offering, a way to show your love for your guests and to share your happiness. And a simple platter of cheeses accompanied by some lovely breads can be just as heartfelt a gesture as a four-course sit-down feast.