The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings (75 page)

T
HE WEDDING CAKE
. Think of the images it conjures up: fluffy and flouncy, with tiers and tears, instant Kodak Moments of the young couple starting out life together as they cut that first piece, finger-feed it to each other, then share it with all the guests (not to mention the incredible sugar shock afterward).

The wedding cake is the grand finale of a full-course meal and a full day, or it is its own centerpiece for a cake-and-champagne reception. It's not only the culmination of the meal but the apex of all the festivities. Look at it this way: you can imagine a wedding without anything—the dress, the preacher… hell, even a bride or a groom—but you cannot imagine a wedding without the wedding cake. The cake takes the cake.

Time for some sense-memory. Think back to the wedding cake you had as a kid at your cousin Miriam's wedding… one of those pretty, multi-tiered numbers that looked like a fairy-land castle… gooey Crisco frosting and constructed with plastic Roman columns… tasted sweet and glutinous… symbolized by the wedding whites and sugar blues. Those concoctions were probably made with white or yellow cake and a jelly or butter-cream filling.

But times have changed; gays are lucky to be bursting upon the marriage scene just in time to reap the benefits of a full-on Wedding-Cake Revolution. We Americans have become more discriminating eaters, including our tastes in baked goods. Croissants and scones, once found only in Parisian patisseries, are readily available in your local coffee house or donut shop. Postmodern bakeshops in even the smallest hamlets feature cupcakes in twenty-five seasonal varieties. Forget plain old chocolate and vanilla, and say hello to double-white-chocolate-silk-praline-lemon. And the wedding cake, which is the King (or, okay, the Queen) of desserts, has followed suit.

So thanks to high-end baking trends and a world where many of us no longer have favorite foods but “eating philosophies,” you really can have your cake and eat it too. In addition to traditional tiered wedding cakes, large single-layer cakes with sumptuous fillings like rum and walnuts (be aware, you with nut allergies) or praline and chocolate are decorated with spun-sugar ribbons and marzipan bows. Your wedding cake can be coconut crème, red velvet, dolce de leche, or the obvious but oft forgotten Italian wedding cake. Yes, your guests will still wind up in sugar shock, but it will be a much classier state of shock.

Today's cakes can be made in many shapes, ranging from layers of hexagons to the outline of a couture gown. Artisans specialize in 3-D dioramas, where the sheet cake becomes a stage for frosted candy figures of the couple walking in the woods, or has them in a ‘57 Chevy, or posed with their favorite movie characters—Obi-Wan Kenobi, R2D2, and Elliott and Jason.

Wedding cake, like almost everything else in the wedding, is figured out on a per-head (or, in this case, per-mouth) basis. The amount of guests you plan to feed determines the size and cost of the cake. But for the sake of estimating, that slice of wedding cake can start around $2.50 and run as high as $20. (Yes,
per slice
.)

Calm down. It all depends on where you buy your cake, what your chosen ingredients are, and how fancy-shmancy not just the cake is, but the shop where you are buying it. Obviously Monsieur Maurice's Puff Pastry Emporium is gonna out-cost your local Sam's Club, but there are points in between too. Consider small neighborhood bakeries, gourmet food stores, and upscale supermarkets, which are all vying for a share of the wedding-cake market.

If the hall or hotel is supplying the cake, we encourage you to cross-examine your caterer with the same tenacity as you would a private baker. (And be sure to ask about the cutting fee.)

A good way to start is to do a Google search of “wedding cake,” which will show you sights—and sites—that will thrill and amaze. You can preview cake designs and ingredients, as well as get prices from the fanciest cake shops in your city, the country, or even on the planet. It's the perfect way to get an idea of the possibilities of flour and fondant without schlepping into a shop you know you can't afford. So cruise the Net, find some reference shots, hit Print, and make a scrapbook of your dream cakes. Most bakeries have their own websites, which will make paring down your choices even easier; or bring the
pictures to your local shop and see what they can re-think or re-create.

Check around through your wedding network of caterers, site coordinators, photographers, and so on to get recommendations. Florists often have the 411 on bakers because they work together coordinating floral decorations to adorn the cake or cake table.

Once you have narrowed your bakery choices to semifinalists, you will need to call in advance and make an appointment for a cake consultation. Depending on where you go, you may be charged a consult fee (which can be anywhere from $25 to $150). Sometimes the fee is applied to the final cost of the cake, but don't be shy: ask before you book the appointment.

See if the cake mistress or master strikes you as someone you want to recruit as part of your wedding brigade. Most bakers really don't care if you're marrying a pony as long as you can pay for the cake. If you feel like there will be any “separate yet equal” treatment because you're a same-sex couple, politely excuse yourself or better yet, throw a pie in his or her face and run elsewhere.

During your cake consultation, you'll need to be upfront about both your budget and about what you hope your dream cake will look like, so don't forget those photos. This is where you get to taste most of the flavors that interest you. When you go to the shop, have the answers to the following questions well thought out:

The three
F'
s are filling, frosting, and flavor: which ones are you thinking about? (A cake that you love but that sounds a bit too exotic for the general public—say a zucchini-mango loaf—may turn off all but the most committed roughage lovers.)

Do you want the cake to reflect the colors of the decor, your outfits, or flowers you are planning to use?

How many people will the cake need to feed? An approximate number is fine for now, as you will have until a week or two before the date to make absolute-positive-no-turning-back-decisions.

When do you need the cake? This includes the time of day, so a delivery or pickup can be arranged assuring that the cake will be served at its intended temperature. (Note: most cakes should be consumed at room temperature, not fresh out of the fridge.)