The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings (72 page)

THE QUINTESSENTIAL SOFT BAR

Champagne

Beer (imported, American regional, and nonalcoholic)

Wine (white and red)

Sodas (diet and regular; with caffeine and without)

Coffee (regular and decaf)

Iced tea (a selection, including herbal)

Juices

Mineral water (and for purists, bottled spring water such as Evian)

Oh sure, some couples do still have open bars, especially if they're having a dinner-dance wedding, but it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that a full bar is a lot more expensive than a soft bar. For an open bar at a hotel, you'll either be charged by consumption (a per-drink basis) or will pay a flat package rate (per person, per hour). Diane Greenberg-Dilena, manager of food services at the Hotel Bel-Air in Los Angeles, told us, “Drink packages are ripoffs; you'll never drink what's in that package! No one consumes six drinks in a night, but you'll be paying for it anyway.” If you do have an open bar, find out exactly what brands they'll be pouring—premium or generic? Decide on how “open” you want your open bar to be; it's one thing to mix a gin and tonic, but it's another setup to deal with those funky drinks like a “Hop, Skip, and Go Naked” and a “Mudslide.”

Research shows (can you believe they actually research this kind of stuff?) that if people are offered wine or champagne, one-third to one-half of them won't switch to hard liquor later on, so to save money, have your guests met with trays of champagne when they first arrive. (We know, the most gracious hosts wouldn't do this, but sometimes ya gotta cut corners somewhere.)

Now, about the infamous corkage fee. First of all, what the hell is it? Yes, it's true, hotel and restaurants charge you for taking the cork out of a bottle of wine you've supplied them with. Well, that's ostensibly what the fee is for, but hey, don't they take the cork out of a bottle you bought from them, for free? Kind of. A corkage fee is about one of two things, or maybe both: (1) hotels must protect themselves concerning liability for liquor consumed on the premises, and charging you the corkage fee will help offset the cost of insurance; (2) a bottle of wine bought by you in bulk may cost one-third or even one-quarter of what the hotel charges for the same bottle of wine. (If you don't believe us, flip through the wine list of any restaurant and notice the markup on the same bottle purchased at a liquor store.) The bottom line is, if they let people bring in their own booze, they stand to lose lots and lots of money. Try to see it from their point of view; what's next, bringing in your own food?

Taste-Police Alert

N
O MATTER WHAT
you do, do not have a cash bar! You know how loose we are about rules, but we must hold our ground on this one. If you think alcohol is important to your guests and you want it to be available, cut back somewhere else so that you can provide it for them. Also, assign someone the task of removing any tip cups that may mysteriously appear on the bar, because you'll have included gratuities in your contract and you don't want your guests to feel pressured into digging into their own pockets. Need we say more?

But does a corkage fee ever make sense for the consumer? Sometimes. Check out what the hotel is offering by way of champagne; a bottle may cost you $25, and not be a very good vintage at that. But if the corkage fee is, say, $5 per bottle, you can buy some great champagnes for $8 to $15 a bottle. You'll save money, and your guests will be drinking a better-quality swill. On the other hand, we found some of the upscale hotels charging a corkage fee of $25 per bottle—in which case you probably won't be able to beat them at their game unless you own a vineyard. (And if that's the case, why don't you just have the wedding at the vineyard?)

One other pitfall to watch out for whether you're having the hotel (catering hall, country club) provide the booze or you're bringing in your own and paying a corkage fee: every once in a while you hear a story about a site “pushing” drinks on the guests or opening lots of extra bottles, which then go undrunk. This of course translates into more $$$ for the site. You might think about giving the caterer or reception site a dollar or bottle limit ahead of time, and have them talk to you before crossing that line. While we're explaining cons, make sure to count the number of bottles in their stock before the party begins; if you began with fifty and they charge
you for sixty, something smells fishy, and it's not the salmon mousse.

If you're working with a caterer but buying your own liquor and beverages, try and get them to refer you to a wholesaler in your area. You can buy by the caseload and save a bundle (you'll get at least a 10 percent discount), and sometimes you can return unopened bottles.

In your quest to save money, remember that picking up and delivering cases of liquor and soda is back-breaking, time-consuming work. Check out the delivery policies of liquor stores and beverage outlets. You will also need to collect the unused liquor at the wedding site for return and, you hope, refund, so be sure someone will pick it up for you. (Usually your pals are more than happy to perform this task—but if they're anything like our friends, expect a few bottles to get “lost” along the way as they continue to celebrate while you're on your way to Niagara Falls.)

Champagne is the only drink that leaves a woman still beautiful after drinking it.

—Madame de Pompadour

Champagne was first made by the blind monk Dom Perignon, who was the cellar master of a Benedictine Abbey… thus the name of (almost) everybody's favorite bubbly. “I am drinking the stars!” he was reported to have shouted after first tasting his creation.

At some places there is a separate charge itemized as a “champagne toast”—the passing out of glasses to your guests, pouring the bubbly
once,
and collecting the glasses again. Free-flowing champagne is a horse of a different color; don't mix up the two when you're getting price quotes.

One tried-and-true maneuver is for you to have two or three different champagnes; start with the best stuff for the toast, and as the day wears on and the bottles empty, move on to the lesser-quality stuff. Your guests will never know what hit them.

You can rent an electric champagne fountain, which circulates five to seven gallons of bubbly through its tiers. It can be used for punch too. One drawback is that most of these fountains don't keep the liquid cold, so you'll want to use one only if you're having a large or fast-drinking crowd.

By filling champagne glasses three-quarters full, you can also economize on champagne; about ninety glasses can be procured from a case in this way, as opposed to the usual seventy-two.