The Girl With No Past (23 page)

My phone rang then, reminding me I’d received a message a few minutes ago. I pulled it from my pocket and Dr Redfield’s name flashed on the screen. I couldn’t talk to her now, I would have to call her back. Leaving the phone to ring out, when it finally stopped I checked my message. It was an email. My stomach sank. As I always did, I knew before I even scrolled to my inbox that it was from him. It was funny how I still thought of the person as male when they could just as easily be a woman.

I didn’t want to look this time. Didn’t want to deal with whatever words I would be faced with. But then Ben appeared and headed back to the table, smiling reassurance. I clicked on my inbox and opened the email. The words were different this time, but the message was clear.

An eye for an eye, a life for a life.

TWENTY

There is no greater feeling than this. Our exams are over and we are free for six weeks. Plus, now I am sixteen, no longer a child, no longer beholden to my parents. Dad can’t stop me seeing Adam; I’m even old enough to marry him if I want to.

I’ve arranged to meet everyone at the corner of my road and I make my way there now, with the sun warming my skin. It is best to meet away from the house because Dad is there as usual, and even though he can’t stop me seeing Adam now our exams are over, he still won’t welcome him into the house. I don’t know what he thinks we’ll get up to with Imogen and Corey there; he’s overreacting as usual.

All these months of Adam not being able to come over have put a strain on our relationship, but I haven’t let Dad stop me seeing him. We’ve just learnt to steal every moment we can, and laugh behind my parents’ backs because they can’t keep us apart. And we have survived. We can survive anything.

Adam has promised me things will be better now, that he won’t be distant now that some of the pressure is off. Please let this be true.

Imogen and Corey are already there when I get to the corner, their arms wrapped around each other so they look as if they’re one person. Perhaps in some ways they are. I feel a pang of envy because it is so easy for them. It always has been.

There is no sign of Adam. This is strange because he was the one who called last night saying we all had to meet him this afternoon and couldn’t be late. It sounded so mysterious and I’ve hardly slept from wondering what he’s planned. At first I thought it could be a surprise for me, but if that were the case surely he wouldn’t want Imogen and Corey to come too? Unlike those two, Adam doesn’t do public displays of affection.

‘I thought Adam was with you,’ Corey says, as I bounce up to them and wrap Imogen in a hug. She smells of perfume and up close I can see she has make-up on. Her foundation is too dark for her, making her look as if she’s been under a sunbed, but I don’t say anything. She is happy and I’m not going to take that from her.

‘No,’ I say. ‘I thought he’d be here by now.’ I check my watch and it’s exactly two o’clock. The time Adam said we needed to be here.

The house we’re standing outside has a low wall bordering the garden, and Imogen and Corey are sitting on it, not at all bothered that they are trespassing on someone else’s property.

‘Come on, Leah, sit down,’ Imogen says, patting the wall beside her. ‘He could be ages.’

I hesitate for a moment but then join them on the wall. I only sit lightly, though, ready to jump up if the owner of the house appears.

While we wait, Corey starts talking about his plans for the summer. His mum owns a timeshare apartment in Spain and she has invited Imogen to go with them this year. ‘She loves me!’ she says, nudging Corey. I’m not surprised that Mrs Bannerman is letting Imogen go. She’s a flexible mum, after all, unlike mine. Even though I’m sixteen now I would never be allowed to go anywhere with Adam, even just for a night.

At least Adam isn’t going to America now. I shouldn’t feel good about this – he wanted it so much – but I’m glad he’ll be here with me. I’ve already written a list of things we can do, but haven’t shown it to him yet. I’m too worried he won’t like any of my ideas, or that he’ll think I’m enjoying the fact he’s not going away too much.

He turns up half an hour late, strolling towards us as if he’s in no hurry, as if it’s no concern that we’ve been waiting this long for him, even though he was the one who dictated the time we should meet.

‘Sorry!’ he says. ‘But it will be worth it, you’ll see.’ He leans down and gives me a quick peck on the cheek. It’s nice to see the clownish smile on his face; he must be having a good day. ‘Come on. Let’s go.’

None of us ask where we are going but we jump up and follow him, almost able to touch the inexplicable excitement that being around Adam brings us. I know it’s not just me and that we are all captivated by him.

We walk for some time, passing Imogen’s old primary school and unfamiliar roads. Adam and Corey walk ahead of us, giving Imogen and me a chance to catch up. We’ve not seen much of each other since our exams began so there is a lot to talk about.

‘So,’ she says, ‘Are you and Adam okay? I really hope you are.’

I wonder how much to tell her. If this was months ago then I would have spared no detail, but things have changed. I don’t know whether it’s because she spends more time with Corey now, or whether I’m just distracted by Adam, but we aren’t as close and I can’t pretend otherwise.

‘It’s great. At least it will be now I can see him more. Dad can’t stop me any more. Not that he really did. But I’m sick of hiding away.’

She leans closer towards me and lowers her voice. ‘Is it true about his maths exam? He must be fuming!’

I’ve been expecting Imogen to ask me about this; she tried to the last time we spoke on the phone but I brushed it off. And now I look at Adam and wonder if he would mind me talking about it. He was devastated at the time but seems to be okay about it now, so I make a quick decision and tell her what happened. She listens wide-eyed as I explain how he was only five minutes late for his maths exam, but Miss Hollis, who’d been invigilating, refused to let him in. And how she then told everyone that he had been much later than that so she couldn’t let him sit the exam, and now he has to take it in November, along with his A-levels. It was his last exam too, so it should have been over for him now, as it is for us, but instead it’s still hanging over his head.

‘Wow, what a bitch. He must hate her guts even more.’

I don’t answer. I’ve heard enough about Miss Hollis to last me a lifetime.

Up ahead, the boys duck into a newsagent and once we catch up with them we join them inside. I spot them by the pick and mix counter, shovelling sweets into paper bags. Beside me, Imogen squeals and rushes up to them, grabbing an empty bag to fill.

‘Come on!’ Adam says. ‘We need to stock up with food for this afternoon.’

I open my mouth to ask him why but quickly close it again. There is no point pushing him; we’ll find out soon enough. When he wants us to. I look around the shop and start picking out snacks to buy. Watching Adam do the same, the excitement on his face is infectious and I decide to go with it. I don’t like surprises, but what the hell? It’s summer and we’re free for six weeks, I’ve got to get in the spirit of things.

With each of us carrying a bag crammed with snacks, we head back outside, once again letting Adam lead us. We all walk together this time, blocking the pavement but not caring because we have each other. We are invincible.

Without warning, Adam stops and points at the road to the left of us. ‘Here we are,’ he says, a triumphant smile on his face.

I look at the road sign. Kytes Drive. It means nothing to me and judging by the frowns on Imogen and Corey’s faces they are just as flummoxed as I am.

‘But what’s here?’ Corey asks, trying to get a closer look at the road. ‘There’s nothing but houses.’

Still smiling, Adam begins walking again, turning into the road that has no meaning. ‘All in good time, my friends,’ he says, and for the first time today I realise I don’t like the sound of this.

The road is almost circular, with a huge grassy area in the middle, and Adam leads us halfway around it before he stops outside a large bungalow. He studies the house through narrowed eyes and, with no explanation, crosses the road to the green and sits on the kerb, waiting for us to do the same.

‘Better get comfy,’ he says. ‘We could be here a while.’

Imogen, Corey and I look at each other, silently asking each other what Adam is playing at. But when neither of them speaks, it is left to me to question him. I cross the road and sit down next to him, the other two following my lead.

‘What’s going on? What are we doing here, Adam?’ I try to keep my voice upbeat and not show the concern I feel in the pit of my stomach.

He digs in his carrier bag and pulls out a can of Coke. ‘Let’s just call it a stakeout,’ he says, a huge grin spreading across his face.

And then I know with certainty what we’re doing here. That the house across from where we sit belongs to Miss Hollis. And that Adam has no intention of leaving here until he has seen her.

‘Miss Hollis,’ I say, my stomach sinking.

‘What? Seriously? That’s Hollis’s house?’ Corey chimes in. He and Imogen are still standing up, and both of them spin around and stare at the house.

‘That’s right,’ Adam says, taking a sip of Coke.

Corey turns back to him. ‘But how? Where did you—’

‘I can’t give away my secrets, can I?’ Adam chuckles, and I try to think of a time I’ve seen him this at ease, but can’t. He is always stressed about something and it’s usually the woman whose house we’re standing opposite.

I reach across and lay my hand on his arm. His skin is warm from the sun and feels nice. ‘But you’re not planning to do anything, are you? We’ll get in trouble, Adam. Serious trouble. We shouldn’t be here.’ One of us has to point this out, and looking at the smiles on Imogen and Corey’s faces, I doubt it will be either of them.

Adam turns to me, the grin dropping from his face. ‘Course I’m not going to do anything. We’re just gonna sit here. Freak her out a bit just by being outside her house. There’s nothing she can do about it, and we can’t get in trouble because it’s not private property on this grass, is it?’

He’s clearly thought about this, and whatever I say he’ll have his justification already planned. I turn away from him and rifle through my bag for something to distract me. I don’t feel good about being here, but I can’t tell Adam this. Instead, I convince myself it can’t do any real harm just being here. Can it?

Hours pass and we tuck into our snacks, chatting away about our dreams for the future. I almost forget where we are until a blue Toyota pulls into Miss Hollis’s drive.

We all freeze except for Adam, who continues munching his crisps. Each crunch seems magnified because the rest of us are holding our breath, trying to keep quiet and remain unnoticed.

A tall man steps out of the car and I immediately recognise him; he was with Miss Hollis when we went ice-skating last year. His hair is shorter but it is definitely him. Beside me, Adam’s expression changes and he stops eating, shoving his half-empty crisp packet in his bag. It’s not hard to tell that he is seething because he stays silent, his forehead creasing.

The man knocks on the front door and within seconds it is open and he steps inside. We all lean forward to get a closer look but cannot see who’s letting him in. A few minutes later he reappears, carrying a huge suitcase, which he loads into his car.

Adam smiles. ‘Come to his senses finally,’ he says, thinking the same thing I am: that Miss Hollis has been dumped.

But seconds later, she appears at the door and steps outside. She is wearing a huge floppy sunhat, shorts and sandals, and smiles at the man before locking her door. When she walks to the car he is standing by the passenger side, holding the door open for her, beaming back at her. He kisses her on the lips before she gets in, and they drive off, to whatever country they’re flying off to for their holiday. Thankfully, neither of them has noticed us out here, and I let out a deep sigh.

Corey turns to Adam. ‘Teachers have such an easy life, don’t they? Did you see her? With her stupid
boyfriend.
She’s not bothered at all about what she’s done to you.’

Imogen slaps him on the arm. ‘What’s she supposed to do? Cry about it? She’s too much of a bitch. Adam’s the last thing she’s thinking of…’ She trails off, grabbing Corey’s arm when Adam looks up at her.

I am expecting him to say something. Anything. But he doesn’t. Silently, he stands up and, leaving his carrier bag on the floor, walks away from us. Crossing the road, he stops outside Miss Hollis’s house again, staring at it as if he’s a building surveyor making an assessment. For a horrifying moment I think he will do something like smash one of her windows, but he doesn’t. All he does is walk off, leaving us on the green, wondering what to do.

‘Come on,’ Corey says, jumping up. ‘We should go after him.’

But Imogen shakes her head. ‘No, leave him.’

He’s about to protest, but then, like us, realises it’s better to give Adam space.

When I try to call him that night his mum answers and tells me he’s busy. She doesn’t say it unkindly, but with pity, so I know he has told her he doesn’t want to speak to me. I hang up, feeling as if I can’t breathe, and see Dad is here watching me. He doesn’t say anything but shakes his head sadly.
I told you so
, his eyes say.