The Girl With No Past (37 page)
Read The Girl With No Past Online
Authors: Kathryn Croft
‘Thank you,’ I said, my words not enough for what she had done.
‘So what will you do now?’ she asked.
‘Well, I no longer have my job at the library, but I’ll spend more time volunteering at the care home until I can find something else.’
She nodded. ‘Well, good luck, Leah. Just try to put this behind you, okay?’
I watched her drive off, knowing I would face my fear and make that statement to the police. Then perhaps I would finally be free.
Walking up the path to Mum’s front door, I wondered if karma really was a possibility. And then I decided right then that I wouldn’t, couldn’t allow myself to believe it. Not any more.
THIRTY-THREE
High Elms Lane. It has a nice ring to it. It sounds like the kind of road wealthy people live, where there is a sense of community, of people sticking together. I’ve never thought of that before.
I keep my eyes fixed on the road, ignoring Imogen’s attempts to draw me into their conversation. I no longer hear what they’re talking about. I’m too busy being overwhelmed. The past catching up with me. Any second now the school will appear to the right of us, and with it will come a thousand memories I want to cherish. They are not to be forgotten or dismissed. They won’t be tainted because they are all from before. When it was just the four of us. And now, I can rewrite those memories and pretend Adam wasn’t obsessed with Miss Hollis. That makes for a much better memory.
In the back seat, the others don’t seem to notice where we are; they are giggling and their chatter grows louder, no doubt fuelled by the alcohol they have consumed tonight. When did they start drinking? Were they all together the first time alcohol passed their lips? There are so many things I don’t know about the nineteen-year-old Imogen, Corey and Adam. So much they don’t know about me.
I think they want it back. Our friendship, I mean. That’s what tonight has been about, hasn’t it? It’s only natural that Adam remains a bit distant; after all, he always was, even at the best of times. But perhaps in time that could change. I could never be his girlfriend again, and not just because he has someone else now. Mione. No, too much has happened for that to ever be a possibility.
I glance in the rear-view mirror and I notice Adam is relaxed now, the smile I rarely saw when we were together back on his face. I tell myself maybe I have something to do with that. Maybe.
Imogen has craned her head around so that she’s facing the two of them in the back, and I notice she keeps reaching forward to touch Corey’s arm. It is sweet that they are still so in love. They were always meant to be, I think. Nothing that happened affected their relationship.
We approach the school and I slow down to glance at the place we were last happy together. It hasn’t changed, but it’s different seeing it from behind a car window rather than from the pavement. Different knowing we have walked those paths for the last time. I will never sit on the art block steps waiting for Imogen or Adam again.
I can almost see the ice-cream truck that never failed to turn up, summer or winter. And I can hear the shrieks and yells of excitement that represented freedom to stuff our faces without parents telling us we’re ruining our dinner, freedom from constraints for another evening.
Once more I look in the rear-view mirror; they still haven’t noticed where we are. I switch off my thoughts as if I’m turning off a radio so I can listen to the others for a moment. The others. I have not thought of them as that for a long time.
They are talking about a party they’re going to next week. Some girl called Karen, who is a friend of Imogen’s, is throwing it, and they’re expecting it to be wild. Corey is telling Imogen she shouldn’t wear that denim skirt again, the one that is more like a belt, and Adam laughs his agreement.
‘Anyone would think you’re trying to pull someone else, Imogen,’ he says, nudging Corey.
‘Shut up!’ Imogen says, but she is laughing too. ‘You’re right, though, it is a bit short.’
And then they are planning where to meet and what time they should get there.
‘We don’t want to be too early, let the losers turn up first!’
Living in the present and future is more important than reliving the past.
They are so engrossed in each other that nobody has noticed the car is practically at a standstill.
I slam my foot down, with such force I think my ankle will snap, and we all lurch backwards. I press harder and the car gathers speed, the engine growling. Staring at the speedometer, I watch the hand creep up. Fifty. Sixty. Seventy. Ignoring the gasps and pleas to slow down – a mixture of voices, I can’t tell who is saying what – I keep the weight of my foot on the accelerator. Eighty. Ninety. A hundred.
It’s now or never.
I maintain this speed for a moment then swerve the car to the left, sending everyone slamming against the doors with heavy thuds.
My timing is perfect because now the tree is in front of us, it’s huge trunk solid and thick, and it feels as if it is careering towards us, rather than the other way around. It is coming for us.
I close my eyes and wait for karma to take us all.
LETTER FROM KATHRYN
Thank you so much for choosing to read
Until You Die
. Your support is much appreciated and I hope you enjoyed the book as much as I enjoyed writing it. I particularly hope you were taken by surprise by the twists and turns.
If you did enjoy the book, I would be extremely grateful if you could take a few moments to leave a quick review on Amazon. It is always great to hear what readers think and it can also help others discover my books. Any recommendations to friends and family are also very welcome!
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Thank you again for all your support – it is greatly appreciated.
Kathryn x
ALSO BY KATHRYN CROFT
BEHIND CLOSED DOORS
THE STRANGER WITHIN
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I am hugely indebted to a number of people for supporting me and helping make my third novel come to life.
First of all I’d like to thank my agent, Madeleine Milburn, and the whole team at the agency, who all work tirelessly to support their authors.
A huge thank you to Keshini Naidoo, my fantastic editor, for believing in me and for offering valuable insights that helped make this book as strong as it could be. A special thank you also to the rest of the Bookouture team: Oliver, Claire and Kim, thank you so much for taking me on and welcoming me to the team. I am extremely excited and proud to be a Bookouture author.
I would also like to thank all the authors I have met over the last couple of years who have encouraged and supported me, and understood the journey, particularly A. J. Waines and Mel Sherratt.
And finally, as always, thank you to my husband and the rest of my family and friends for their continued love and support.
Published by Bookouture
An imprint of StoryFire Ltd.
23 Sussex Road, Ickenham, UB10 8PN
United Kingdom
www.bookouture.com
Copyright © Kathryn Croft 2015
Kathryn Croft has asserted her
right to be identified as the author of this work.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publishers.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places and events other than those clearly in the public domain, are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
ISBN: 978-1-910751-23-7
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