The Good Daughter (26 page)

After twenty minutes of applying cosmetics, I examined myself in the mirror and smiled. With my dark hair, light eyes and red lipstick I made a respectable Wonder Woman.

I was way ahead of schedule. I'd allowed two hours for getting ready, forgetting that it usually took at least that long because Kathleen and I would do each other's hair and makeup, giggling and carrying on as we planned our night.

‘Enough already,' I grumbled as I sorted my bag. That phase of my life was over. I found Brian in the bathroom putting beer in the half-full bathtub. ‘What do you think?' I crossed my arms in the Wonder Woman signal.

Someone whistled behind me. I spun around. Greg had appeared holding a slab of beer. ‘You look amazing.' His eyes were on my chest.

My costume was probably a size too small and the corset top pushed my breasts up so they nearly hit my chin. ‘Thanks.' I crossed my arms over my bulging boobs.

Brian took the box from Greg. ‘Get out of here.' He slapped him on the back.

‘Do you think it's too much?' I asked.

‘You're supposed to be Wonder Woman.' Brian sat on the edge of the bathtub and dropped the beer cans in the icy water. ‘There's no such thing as too much.'

‘What do you want me to do?'

‘All done.' He crushed the empty box. ‘My turn to get ready now.'

I followed him to the bedroom. He closed the door and reached for his fly. I turned away.

‘Actually,' Brian said over the rasp of his zipper. ‘Do you reckon you could go round and see how Jesse's doing? He should be here by now. I bet he's freaking out.'

‘I can't go out like this.'

Brian opened his wardrobe and handed me a trench coat. ‘Wear this.'

I bundled myself up and walked down the street slowly. I wasn't sure it was a good idea to see Jesse. Since the day he'd been my shoulder to cry on we hadn't been alone. When I reached his house I kept going. I'd just walk around the block to kill time until Brian was dressed.

A woman called my name. I turned and saw Sarah, Jesse's sister, running after me. ‘This is our house.' She grabbed my arm and tugged me down the driveway.

‘I was just going to—'

‘Shhh…' Sarah put her finger over her lips. ‘Jesse's trying out his costume. You can surprise him when he comes out.' She pulled me through the front door. The living room was dark and cluttered. The walls were covered with stripy wallpaper and the carpet was dark and shaggy.

‘Sit.' Sarah pushed me onto the brown sofa. ‘I'll get you a drink.'

‘Sarah,' I heard Jesse yell. ‘What the hell have you done?'

‘Come out here so I can see!' Sarah shouted back as she handed me a glass of orange juice.

I took a sip and nearly choked when Jesse entered the living room. He was wearing a Zorro costume. It was a size too small, too. The shirt had a deep V that showed his chest, while the pants moulded to his legs. He definitely wasn't chubby at all. He'd bulked up with muscle and the costume certainly revealed it.

‘Sarah, I hope this is your idea of a joke.' He was looking at his boots and didn't see me. He lifted his head and blushed instantly. So did I.

‘Doesn't he look great, Sabiha?' Sarah went up to Jesse and pinched his arms. ‘Everyone can see his muscles.'

‘Um, yeah, he does.' I sipped my drink.

‘I'm
not
going like this.' Jesse pushed her hands away.

‘Jesse…' A feeble voice called from the back of the house. ‘Come here, please, so I can see you?'

Sarah laughed and pushed him towards the door. ‘Go show Mum how hot you are.' Jesse grumbled under his breath as he left. ‘Bring Mum out here so she can meet Sabiha,' she called out. Jesse broke his stride and gave her a look that I couldn't read. ‘It'll be fine,' she urged. Sarah sat down next to me. ‘I'm glad he's had you to talk to. The two of you clicked because you have so much in common.'

‘I guess we do.' I was surprised Jesse had told her about my reading habits.

She shook her head. ‘Kids can be so cruel when you have a mother who's different.'

I stiffened. Before I could say anything, Jesse came back into the living room, pushing a wheelchair. Sarah introduced me to their mum.

‘Jesse has told us so much about you,' the woman said, her weak voice incongruous with her large body. She reached out her hand to me, the dimpled rolls of fat on her arm shaking as she held it in the air.

Jesse's whole body language was a portrait in pleading. Did I look the same when I introduced people to Mum? ‘Nice to meet you, too.' I clasped her hand, my fingers sinking into the folds of her flesh.

‘I'm getting changed,' Jesse said.

‘Into what?' Sarah was panicking. ‘You haven't got another costume.'

‘Peter Parker,' Jesse said smugly.

‘No!' Sarah howled. ‘Tell him he looks great, Mum.'

‘You look very handsome, Jesse,' Mrs James said. ‘Do you think so?' she turned to me.

I examined Jesse from head to toe. ‘That's a great costume,' I pronounced.

‘They got to you,' he said.

I shook my head and smiled.

He relaxed and looked at me approvingly, finally registering what he could glimpse of my own skin-tight number, visible through the partially open trench coat. Only his wasn't quite the same chest-ogling as Brian's brother. ‘Okay, you win.' Jesse lifted his hands in surrender.

Mrs James smiled at me gratefully. Sarah headed for the TV cabinet. ‘Photo time.' She held up a camera.

‘Oh, no,' Jesse groaned.

‘Yes, yes!' Sarah shouted as she pulled me off the sofa and pushed me towards Jesse. She watched us through the viewfinder. ‘Take off the trench coat,' she commanded.

Jesse's eyes widened at the sight of my outfit revealed in all its body-hugging splendour. But why the hell had I let my vanity get the better of me? The smaller costume was a big mistake.

Sarah snapped a few photos. ‘Okay, put your arm around her,' she instructed.

Jesse's arm curved gently on my waist.

‘You do the same,' she said to me.

Tentatively, I hooked my fingers through his belt loop and felt his back, taut under the thin shirt.

‘You look fabulous.' Sarah continued snapping.

We relaxed and I sunk against him. His hand firmed around my waist.

‘Okay, look at each other,' Sarah said.

Even though I'd seen him every day at school for the past three months, this was the first time I
really
saw him.

‘It's okay,' he turned to Sarah, ‘I didn't charge the battery.'

Sarah smacked the camera. ‘Damn, it's finished!'

‘Told you.' Jesse smiled and let go of me.

Trying to retain the sensation on my skin, I placed my hand on my waist where his hand had been. ‘We'd better get going,' I said.

‘It's only six o'clock,' Sarah said. ‘Go and wait in Jesse's room until it's time for the party. That way you can make a grand entrance with your costumes.' She pushed us away from the front door and down the hall.

‘But we should help Brian,' I protested.

Sarah cut me off. ‘Greg and his mates have done plenty of party set-ups.' She closed Jesse's bedroom door behind us.

More and more bewildered, I stood in the middle of the room, staring at my feet.

‘Would you like to sit down?' Jesse pushed his office chair towards me and I sat down obediently. His bedroom was neat as a pin. The single bed was made and the floor tidy. ‘Thanks,' he mumbled as he sat on the bed.

‘What for?'

‘For being nice to my Mum.'

‘Why didn't you tell me?' I asked, remembering that Sarah had assumed I knew.

He shrugged. ‘She has hypothyroidism. Her thyroid doesn't produce enough hormones and her metabolism is slow. It doesn't matter what she eats or what she tries to do, she's obese.'

I wondered if my voice sounded as raw when I spoke about Mum. ‘Has she always been in a wheelchair?'

‘Just the last couple of years. It's difficult for her to move otherwise.'

‘I still wish you'd told me…It would have made a lot of stuff a lot easier…' He shrugged again and I knew better than to push it. I examined his room. ‘How did you get hold of so many books?' Three tall bookshelves took up a whole wall.

‘Gifts, second-hand bookshops, library sales,' Jesse said. ‘Some were my Dad's.'

‘You have one glaring omission.' I gave him a stern look. ‘You don't have any of Stephenie Meyer's books.'

Jesse laughed. ‘They're under the bed.'

‘That'd be right.' I turned back to the shelves. ‘I know you secretly love them even though you pretend you hate vampire stories.'

‘Have you read this one?' He stood behind me, his arm reaching for a book over my head, his voice a whisper against my ear. He handed me
Wuthering Heights
, by Emily Brontë, his hand floating around my shoulders so that he was almost embracing me.

I shook my head and my hair brushed against his face.

‘You'd like it. It's a gothic romance.' His breath fanned my hair.

Our eyes met. His cheek was right next to my mouth. He inclined his head and his lips gently brushed mine, like the caress of a feather. He waited. He was giving me the chance to back away. I leaned in and kissed him. His hands came to rest on my shoulders and he pulled me to him, the book pressed between us like a chaperone as we kissed. He lifted his head. As the glow of the kiss faded I was awkward again.

I didn't know how to stand against him or where to put my hands. He rubbed my arms and leaned down. I thought he was going to kiss me again, but instead he planted a soft kiss on my cheek and stepped away.

‘You want to listen to some music?' He moved to the boom box on his desk.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. To buy time I read the back cover of the book. ‘Sounds like my sort of novel.' It was described as a vindictive, passionate love story set amongst the wild Yorkshire moors.

‘You can borrow it if you like,' Jesse said.

‘Thanks.' I glanced at my watch. ‘Perhaps we'd better forget the music; we should go.'

He nodded and held the bedroom door open.

Sarah kissed my cheek as I entered the living room. ‘Have a great night.'

‘Come again,' Mrs James added.

As we walked down the street, our hands brushed against each other. His fingers gently tugged mine. I didn't look at him as I clasped his hand. Music blared from Brian's house.

Jesse stopped.

I turned to look at him.

His eyes were questioning and he was about to speak.

‘Let's go, silly.' I tugged him towards Brian's house. I didn't know what he wanted to say, but I did know that, whatever it was, I was way too confused to hear it.

I knocked on the front door and Brian opened it. He was wearing a green lycra suit covered with black question marks. I dropped Jesse's hand and hugged Brian. ‘You look amazing!' I yelled. ‘Don't you think, Jesse?'

Jesse smiled. ‘Yeah, he sure does.'

‘I didn't think you had it in you.' Brian clapped Jesse on the shoulder. ‘I thought for sure you'd chicken out and come as Peter Parker.'

‘I'll put this in my bag.' I held up
Wuthering Heights
and headed for Brian's parents' bedroom. I closed the door quickly and leaned against it. I broke into a sweat as the urge to run and scream built and built. What had I done? What had possessed me to kiss Jesse? I stared at my reflection in the mirror. ‘What the fuck are you looking at?' I demanded, my sneering face ugly and twisted. I slammed out of the room.

Brian was in the kitchen. ‘What do you want to drink?'

‘That.' I pointed at the Baileys.

I didn't drink alcohol and had never been drunk. I'd had heaps of opportunities whenever Mum and Dave had a party. Kathleen loved sleeping over on those nights. She'd sneak into the party and bring back alcohol to my room. I'd tried drinking with her, but the taste put me off. That, and watching how people turned into idiots when they got drunk.

But tonight I wanted the feeling of carelessness Kathleen described when she got drunk. I wanted the oblivion of forgetting everything. I wanted to forget Mum, Frankie, Kathleen, Shelley and Jesse. I wanted to forget all the betrayals and all the things I'd stuffed up.

He unscrewed the top for me. ‘Do you want milk?'

‘I want it straight.' I took the bottle from him and skolled from it. The warmth hit my stomach and my stiff muscles loosened instantly.

‘Go Sabiha,' Brian exclaimed when I handed back the bottle.

‘Another please.' This time he half-filled a glass and, sipping my drink, I walked into the living room to see Batman, Robin, Spider Man and a Hulk arrive. Some of the party-goers were wearing regular clothes, but most were in costume. Jesse appeared beside me, but even his presence didn't break my buzz. I finished my drink. ‘You want me to get you something?'

‘I'm good.' He held up his Coke.

‘You're such a geek.' I examined the drinks on the kitchen table and decided on ouzo next. When I returned to the living room there were a few people swaying to the music. Gemma walked in wearing a Supergirl costume and, before I had a chance to hide from her, she headed my way.

‘Where's Dina?' She looked around.

‘She'll come by later,' I lied. Since Gemma didn't know about Tony, my job was to bluff Gemma. Dina would murder me if anyone found out she was spending the night at Tony's.

‘Here you go, babe.' A man in a Superman costume handed Gemma a glass.

‘How cute.' I took a sip to hide my smirk. Clinging onto the guy's arm, Gemma introduced him as Rob and made the same googly eyes Mum made at Safet. Rob's eyes were glued to my breasts. Usually a look like that made me hunch into myself, but now I pushed my chest out further and leaned in. ‘Not tonight, honey.' I winked. ‘Tonight I'm Wonder Woman.'