Read The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex Online

Authors: Cathy Winks,Anne Semans

Tags: #Health & Fitness, #Sexuality, #Psychology, #Human Sexuality, #Self-Help, #Sexual Instruction

The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex (3 page)

BOOK: The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex
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We all have the same basic body parts, and our bodies undergo the same basic sexual responses, yet the range in what stimulation people enjoy and how they subjectively experience arousal and orgasm is breathtaking. You’ll probably consider some of the activities described in this book old hat. Some activities will strike you as intriguing, some will seem completely unappealing, and some will make you want to rush right out and try them for yourselves. The beautiful and fascinating thing about sexual taste is its diversity.

Our Contributors

When we set out to write this book, we knew it wouldn’t be complete without input from the people from whom we’ve learned so much over the years: our customers. Resources describing sex toys and sexual activities that are somewhat off the beaten track are few and far between. At Good Vibrations, we rely heavily on the pooled knowledge of our entire community—vendors, coworkers, peer educators, and, above all, the customers whose honest, unabridged feedback we disseminate back through the community.

To solicit information we thought would be helpful, we composed and distributed a brief questionnaire, asking our customers to describe their experiences of orgasm, masturbation, partner sex, sex toys, and fantasy. Our goal was not to compile statistics, but simply to get first-person quotes as to what kinds of sexual activities our customers enjoy, and why.

For the first edition of this book, we received more than 150 responses. For the current edition, we posted the survey on Good Vibrations’ website and received some 400 responses from women and men ranging in age from 18 to 73. Reading their completed questionnaires was the best part of writing this book. The responses were sincere, enthusiastic, open, funny, poignant, and arousing. We feel privileged to have been entrusted with such honest and forthcoming feedback, and we’ve included numerous quotes from these questionnaire respondents in the following pages. In some cases, it’s impossible to know the sexuality, and even the sex, of the person quoted. How does this affect your reaction to the quote? Perhaps you’ll want to read the same quote several times over, imagining a different identity for the subject each time. If this exercise should happen to subvert some of your assumptions about gender and sexuality, so much the better.

We’ve included a copy of our survey in the Appendix in case you’d like to fill one out yourself—many of our respondents told us they enjoyed having the opportunity to think and write about their sex lives, and you too may find the process enlightening and enjoyable.

Who We Are

In exchange for the intimate personal details our customers shared in their questionnaire responses, it’s only fair that we introduce ourselves and tell the stories of how we each came to work in a vibrator store.

Cathy

I wound up working for a vibrator store because vibrators wound up working so well for me. You could say we have a certain affinity, which dates back to my college years. While debates about feminism, pornography, and censorship raged about me, I was in single-minded pursuit of “the big O”: the elusive orgasm that always seemed just out of reach. Thorough student that I was, I did extensive research on the subject: reading “The Playboy Advisor” column religiously, combing through
Penthouse Forum
articles for possible techniques, quizzing all my girlfriends about what “it” felt like, and gamely tackling a variety of sexual positions and activities, to no avail.

Finally, after reading the classic texts
For Yourself
and
Becoming Orgasmic
, I decided to buy myself a vibrator and see what would come of it. Off I went to the Pink Pussycat Boutique in Greenwich Village, where I purchased a battery vibrator made of gleaming gold plastic. Sure enough, reliable, consistent stimulation did the trick for me—I still have sentimental memories of the long summer evenings I spent with that vibrator, enjoying the first orgasms of my life.

My first vibrator got quite a workout, and its motor died within a couple of months. The thought of facing the smirking clerks at the Pink Pussycat again was just too intimidating, so from then on I made my vibrator purchases from mail-order catalogs and drugstores. When I moved home to San Francisco and heard about Good Vibrations, a women-run sex toy store, it sounded too good to be true. On my first visit to Good Vibes, I was struck by the low-key, living-room atmosphere of the place—the worn carpet, the homemade bookshelves, and the friendly librarian-type behind the counter stood in sharp contrast to the garish walls of the Pink Pussycat and the sterile aisles of a drugstore. Both the store and the electric vibrator I walked out of there with made a lasting impression.

Over the next couple of years, the image of that cozy, hospitable storefront stayed with me—and so did my fascination with sex. When I decided that I wanted to give up temporary office jobs in favor of retail work, I took a trip to Good Vibrations to see if they were hiring. Lo and behold, they were, and before I had much chance to wonder just what I was getting myself into, I had a new job.

I started out in a part-time sales job, and eventually became store manager and toy buyer. For a period of several years, I worked full time in the store, and there was hardly anyone who came through our doors whom I didn’t wait on. Sometimes, I’d have trouble understanding why complete strangers blushed or smiled broadly when they saw me on the street, and then I’d realize they were customers identifying me as “the girl from the vibrator store.”

Selling vibrators proved to be both an empowering and entertaining experience. A sex toy salesperson is sort of a cross between a stand-up comic and an advice columnist. My job as a store clerk was to try to make people comfortable with highly charged subject matter and to offer accurate sex information without judgment or personal bias. I learned how to coax people into handling the display vibrators rather than eyeing them nervously from five feet away and how to diplomatically insist that someone buying an anal toy buy some lubricant as well. I negotiated the treacherous shoals of whether our books were “erotica” or “pornography.” The fact that I’m the hopelessly respectable, wholesome-looking product of girls’ schools finally seemed to serve a purpose—many customers’ worst fears about entering a sex store dissolve when they see a “nice girl” like me behind the counter.

I loved the wide variety of people I met, and the way my own preconceptions were constantly challenged. The hippest leftie was likely to walk out of the store in a panic of shyness. The most Republican of military men was likely to display complete familiarity and affection for our product line. I couldn’t guess customers’ sexualities, and they couldn’t guess mine. It was very liberating to be forced to toss out assumptions and start from square one with each new customer.

In the decade I spent at Good Vibrations, the staff expanded from four to sixty people; we launched a nationwide mail-order business, opened a second store, and became a democratically managed, worker-owned cooperative. There’s no way the company could have become as successful as it has if there weren’t hundreds of thousands of people across the country who appreciate sexual products and yearn for sex information. This gives me hope that one day there really will be shops like Good Vibrations in every urban neighborhood, suburban mall, or small-town square.

Working at Good Vibrations changed my life. For one thing, it “ruined” me for any traditional workplace—once you’ve had a job that offers a huge amount of fun along with a sense of right livelihood, it’s hard to settle for less. I learned that grassroots information-sharing can effect incremental social change, so I dare to dream big (vibrator stores in the Vatican! sex ed in schools!). I gained the training and confidence to write, along with a subject matter that’s infinitely fascinating to write about. And I met my partner, Becky, who used to work for one of our vendors. After years in a long-term relationship, I’ve discovered that it’s a lot easier to communicate about sex with strangers than up close and personal—but both are well worth it.

Anne

Vibrators first entered my consciousness in ninth-grade English class. Two girlfriends and I staged a sixties’ version of
Romeo and Juliet
that featured Lady Capulet draped over her chaise longue reading
The Sensuous Woman
(on loan, without permission, from my friend’s mother). Desperate for any and all sex information, we devoured this book in which the mysterious “J” extolled the virtues of vibrators, revealing that these devices could help women have orgasms. After eight years of Catholic school and no real sex education, I barely knew what an orgasm was, but I was quite certain I hadn’t had one. I knew I simply had to learn how, but turning to this machine seemed so daring and risqué. I traveled to the next town to buy birth control for fear of being discovered, so there was absolutely no way I’d risk being seen purchasing a vibrator!

Somewhere in those high-school years I became best friends with my best friend’s shower massager. I experienced long sessions of self-pleasuring in that tiny shower; I would emerge certain that my prunelike skin and rosy glow would be a dead giveaway to her parents and brothers. I know now, of course, that they were none the wiser, but the fear of being caught or discovered acted as a powerful aphrodisiac. While I was busy wasting one of California’s precious resources, a friend from English class had gone out and bought herself a vibrator. On a trip we took together, I tried it while she was out shopping. What bliss! I came instantly and powerfully. I paused for a few seconds and then went for broke—three or four more orgasms later, I was a convert. After we got back from our trip, I headed straight for the nearest drugstore. I didn’t care who saw me; no one was going to keep me from such intense pleasure! Selecting my little Oster Coil was easy—it was the only one on the shelf—but that little gem lasted me ten years. Not only that, it serviced many of my roommates and lovers along the way.

During college, the teacher in one of my women’s classes arranged a field trip to San Francisco to visit the Women’s Building, a women’s bookstore, and her favorite taqueria. Someone casually mentioned a vibrator store in the neighborhood, but to my disappointment no one suggested we visit. I snuck away from the group that day and crossed the threshold of Good Vibrations for the first time.

I, like so many others before and after, walked through the door, stopped, and just gazed, with equal parts wonder, embarrassment, and terror. I headed straight for the bookshelves, picked up a book of illustrations of women’s genitals, and gasped. I picked up a magazine full of images of lesbians having sex and gasped again. I walked over to the vibrator section, started to gasp, and then laughed—sitting next to the modern vibrators were a dozen or so antique vibrators. Everything clicked for me then: People long before me were using these things for more than just massage; there was a historical precedent for my activity. There I was standing in a store devoted to, and not ashamed of, getting people off! My sexual self-esteem soared through the roof.

My euphoria was interrupted by a cheery sales clerk asking if I needed help, which of course rendered me completely mute and sent waves of color up to my roots. I stammered something and stumbled out of the store, only to come back a week later and buy my roommate a vibrator. Since then, I’ve supplied many of my pals with toys from Good Vibrations—showers, birthdays, and weddings are all perfect excuses to slip that little pleasure box discreetly in with the other gifts with a note saying “open in private.”

During my post-college job search, a feminist publisher unexpectedly referred me to the owner of Good Vibrations. Much to my astonishment and delight, I soon found myself answering questions about vibrator speed and dildo size for an adoring and curious bunch of customers. Having been raised believing sex was something you didn’t talk about, you just “knew,” speaking frankly about it to strangers was awkward at first, but eventually became as effortless as giving directions to lost tourists. I learned an incredible amount from my interactions with people, and the thought that I may have been responsible for a few customers’ sexual enlightenment—as they were for mine—made me proud. Sure, we all blushed and stammered, but the payoff was the glee in the eyes of a customer about to purchase a new vibrator, or the hungry anticipation of one who couldn’t wait to leave the store and try out new toys.

There are other things I appreciated during my thirteen years working at Good Vibrations—the sight of a store clerk restocking the shelves with a basket overflowing with sex toys conjured up images of a naughty Little Red Riding Hood. It was a joy to visit the warehouse every afternoon, to marvel at the five-foot-high wall of packages being shipped and to imagine each customer opening a box and touching his or her toy for the first time. Working with a bunch of people who talked about sex like other employees talk about the football pool was a perspective I’ll never take for granted.

Even though I’m no longer with the company, the Good Vibrations philosophy continues to influence my professional and personal growth. Knowing that we all have an inalienable right to sexual pleasure has inspired me to write additional sex books, work with other women’s sex businesses, and improve my public speaking. And now as the mother of two, I am enjoying the challenges of passing on sex-positive attitudes to my own children. It’s definitely not as easy as directing lost tourists, but helping my daughters find their way to a life full of ecstatic discovery, good health, and rich sexuality is a journey I’ll gladly make any day.

GV Tale: Customer Snapshots
Over the years our customers have brought us great joy. Imagine waiting on two women in their sixties who are sporting corsages and buying each other a vibrator as part of their day on the town. Imagine getting a thank-you letter from a woman who had never had an orgasm before purchasing her vibrator. Or the woman who feared that the trauma from a violent rape might permanently interfere with her ability to feel sensations during sex, but who shared sex toys with her husband as a way of overcoming her fear and inhibition. She told us, “I have shared many triumphs with your products—without your company, I would never be as far along on my path to sexual freedom as I am today.”
BOOK: The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex
6.04Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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