The Impossible Art of Falling (Impossible Art #1) (14 page)

Jena sat up on her elbows and looked at him through long lashes. His clear blue eyes held an invitation. Something about this felt like the point of no return. Somehow, these nightly meetings had turned into something so much more. She had fallen hard for him. He was what made this small farm in the mountains of Tennessee feel like home. She may get caught. She may have to explain to her aunt and uncle why she was down here. Explain why it was that she was more comfortable talking to Luke than her own family. And then, there still was the issue of her past. She still hadn’t told him about any of it, yet somehow, they had carved out this small part of the world with each other. Suddenly, she didn’t want that little world to go away either. Jena didn’t want him to let go. She felt safe when she was with him.

Luke knew he had already fallen for her. There was something graceful about her quiet reserve. Something that made him want to hold her and never let her go. And now that she was here with him, lying in his arms, he didn’t think he would be able to stand the emptiness he would feel if she left his bed. Things felt right when she was here. And he felt as if he could face the future with her by his side.

Their eyes locked and the world disappeared.

“Ok,” Jena whispered. “I’ll stay.”

DAWN WAS BARELY BREAKING over the mountains when Luke nudged her awake.

“Jena?” his voice whispered in her ear. “Baby, it’s time to get up. Unless you want Rob to find you in here.” Jena smiled and opened her eyes. She stretched and rolled over to put her boots back on. Her clothes were wrinkled with sleep. It had felt good just to be held last night. The nightmares stayed away, and waking up in Luke’s arms was just like heaven. She reached down to grab a boot and felt his arms go around her and his lips on the back of her neck. She turned in his arms and kissed him back.

“I’ll see you at breakfast,” she murmured against his lips, before pulling away and sneaking out the door.

Luke lay there and stared at the ceiling. He didn’t know how he had become lucky enough to have a girl like Jena in his life. After a few minutes, he began to dress for breakfast.

WHEN JENA CAME DOWNSTAIRS the next morning, Rob watched her carefully. She had disappeared all day and while he had worried about her, he knew that she needed to work out something. She still had circles under her eyes but did look a bit happier. Her mouth no longer sat in a straight line but had begun to curve upwards in a smile. And her eyes were no longer empty and sad. Wherever she had gone yesterday had been good for her.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Rob said, deciding to ask her a direct question to see if she would answer. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you,” she answered, and Rob smiled at his plate. Jena couldn’t help but notice that Kyle was nowhere to be found. His presence was always known when he was in a room. At that moment, Luke sauntered in and took his place across from Jena, so Rob didn’t notice the way her cheeks flushed when Luke brushed her shoulder as he passed and touched her hand as he sat. Just then, Meg walked back in with a plate of pancakes in one hand and jug of orange juice in the other. Jena looked out the window and pulled her hands into her lap.

“It’s a going to be a nice day today. I think it’s going to be a busy one,” Rob offered.

“Well, should we get more horses ready?” Luke asked. “Get a better rotation going?”

“We could, but that might be a lot for just you and I to handle. We’ll have to be okay with what we have,” Rob said.

“I can help.” The words were out of Jena’s mouth before she realized what she was saying. Three pairs of eyes turned toward her, causing her to bite her lip. There was no taking it back now and she knew this. “If it will help your business, I’ll help with the extra horses. If it’s okay with you, Aunt Meg. I can help with the paperwork later,” Jena added. Meg raised an eyebrow at Rob, as if to say “I told you so.” Luke couldn’t hide his grin from Jena. He had secretly been hoping that she would come work with them. He had started to dread the days, because while Jena was close, she was too far from him.  That, and he had to work with Kyle. Even better, it looked like Kyle wasn’t going to come today. It would be too much to hope that he had quit or had been fired after yesterday. The only thing he had done wrong was inadvertently push Jena with his words.

“Well okay, then,” Rob said.  “I guess that settles things. Luke, do you think you and Jena can get started? I’ll help Meg with the dishes. Kyle won’t be coming in today. He has to go to the university for something. Football meeting, maybe? ”

“Of course,” he answered, again looking right at Jena. “We’ll be just fine without him, right Jena?”

Meg’s foot connected with Rob’s under the table and again, she raised her eyebrow.

The rest of their breakfast was relatively silent as they each took in their new roles. Jena was actually excited to work with the horses today. After all, it’s not like she would be riding herself. Just helping to saddle the horses up and get them ready. She figured she was ready for that. It was an important first step for her. At least she hoped that was all she had volunteered for. Meg, Rob, and Luke occasionally broke in with a comment about some random topic, but Jena enjoyed her silence.

“Are you ready?” Luke asked, once her plate was pushed aside. Jena nodded to him and then stood up. They both stopped in the mud room to slip on their cowboy boots and then started for the barn.

“Wait,” Jena said. Thinking of something else she needed, she turned and ran up the stairs to her bedroom. The old straw hat that she had found was still hanging on the bedpost. She grabbed it and put it on her head. This would help keep the hot sun off of her. She ran back down to where Luke was waiting in the mud room.

At the sound of her coming down the stairs, Luke looked up. Jena came bounding over and looked simply beautiful.

“Cute,” he said, tapping the brim of the hat, then opened the door for her. They walked side by side to the barn. Luke itched to reach out and grab her hand, but he was sure that Meg and Rob were probably watching the two of them head out together. Once they were in the safety of the barn and away from prying eyes, Luke grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms. They stood there in an embrace for a moment, not needing any words. At last, Jena pulled away and then stood up on her tiptoes to give him a kiss.

“Do you know how happy I am to have you working with me today?” Luke asked her.

“I don’t know why I said it. It just sort of came out. Then again, Meg and Rob have always been so good to me. I guess I thought that I should help them out.” Luke had hoped that he was the real reason she wanted to work out here, but he understood. Jena saw the hurt briefly cross his eyes and realized what she hadn’t said. “And of course, I get to work with you,” she added and instantly saw him light up. They heard the door of the house close and pulled apart.

“I suppose we should start getting things ready,” Luke said.

“Well, cowboy. What do you want me to do?” Jena teased, feeling more relaxed by the moment. She couldn’t believe how much the last few days had changed her. She could feel herself slowly opening up. Slowly beginning to heal. She turned and caught Luke staring at her, a small smile on his face.

“What? Aren’t you going to tell me what to do?”

“I just…I can’t believe you’re really down here with me. It just makes me so happy,” Luke answered, and Jena’s heart lifted. 

Luke explained how they did things. They were to tack up about ten more horses than usual. Jena would help lead horses out to Rob and Luke, who would pair them with riders. When she wasn’t doing that, she would make sure that they had water and that their tack was still okay. It actually sounded perfect to Jena, and she was quick to get to work.

ROB HAD BEEN RIGHT. It was turning out to be a beautiful day, and it didn’t take long for the customers to begin lining up. Jena felt guilty when she looked up and saw Meg, working all alone in the office. Maybe when they were on a break, she would go in and do some filing for her. Meg, of course, was doing just fine. She was happy to see her niece back working with the horses. She could catch up on the paperwork on the next rainy day.  And she couldn’t help but notice Luke, either. He seemed even happier than usual. At times, she almost thought she saw him go out of his way to walk past Jena or to bump her. She was right. That boy was smitten.

By lunch, they were all tired and looking forward to a well deserved break. They ate out on the porch. Once finished, they simply sat there. Rob was falling asleep in a wicker chair, and Jena had picked up a book and was curled up on the swing. Luke was trying not to watch Jena, but was failing miserably.

“Well, I think I’ll go work on some bills,” Meg said, standing up and smiling. Jena smiled and nodded back at her but wondered if she could sense this new thing between her and Luke and was simple giving them some time together.

“What are you reading?” Luke waited only a moment for Meg to leave before taking a seat next to Jena on the swing.

“I don’t know. Just some cheap paperback from Aunt Meg’s shelf,” she answered, putting the book down. Luke peered over and tried to see the cover.

“Is it one of those trashy romance novels?” he pried, trying to reach over her to get it.

“No,” she said, slapping his hands away, but not before he saw the cover, which suggested otherwise. Luke pulled her legs onto his lap and began massaging her calves, simply feeling the need to touch her.  Rob snorted from the corner but simply pulled his hat over his face and was back asleep in seconds. Jena looked at the door nervously. She could hear Meg shuffling papers at her desk in the living room, so she relaxed. They both sat there in silence. The breeze whispered across their skin as they just enjoyed being together, the swing slowly rocking back and forth.

“Hey, I thought that maybe after we’re done for the day, we could saddle up a couple of horses and take a ride. I could show you the trails. What do you think?”

Jena stiffened as the color drained from her face.

“Jena? Are you okay?”

She didn’t say anything but pulled her legs away and moved as far away from Luke as she could.

“Jena, please talk to me. What did I say?”

“No. I don’t ride. I… I just can’t. I thought you knew that,” she finally stammered out and hopped up and ran into the house, letting the screen door slam behind her. So much for taking the first step. She was clearly not ready.

Rob shot up from his nap and looked toward the door.

“What the hell was that?” he asked Luke, who was standing in front of the door, his face fallen, the swing banging into his leg.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I said,” he said and then strode off in the direction of the barn and his room.

In the space of that moment, Jena’s world had come crashing around her again. She may have let horses enter back into her life, but she didn’t ride. Not anymore. And Luke. She thought that he had understood. She thought he had known after Kyle tried to push her. She had let Luke in. She had let herself fall for him because he made her feel safe. But she had been wrong. Jena threw herself onto the bed and let the tears flow. He wasn’t supposed to be like that. He wasn’t supposed to be the one pressuring her or asking her questions. She knew that she wasn’t being fair to him. She had never told him, yet here she was, expecting him to just understand her.

Her face twisted itself into her pillow and her fists pounded next to her in frustration. Why couldn’t she just completely let go? Why couldn’t she just move on? Why did it still hurt so much?

An hour or so later, she heard a soft knock at her door. Instead of answering it, she stayed silent, fearing it was Luke.

“Jena?” Aunt Meg’s voice sang out. “It’s time to go back out there. Are you okay?”

She couldn’t go back out there. She couldn’t be around him, and she didn’t want to be shut away in the office. She needed to apologize to Luke, but she needed some time to figure out what to do next. Volunteering to help with the horses had been a huge step for her, but the thought of riding had caused her to shut down.

“I’m not feeling well, Aunt Meg. I’m sorry,” she finally answered, choosing to stay away.

Meg stood outside her door for a moment and contemplated going in. Finally, she turned around, deciding to let Jena be for the afternoon.

“Jena’s going to stay in this afternoon,” Meg told Luke and Rob when she got back downstairs.

“Is she okay?” Rob asked. Luke held back and avoided her glance. He looked sad at this news. No, not sad…broken. He knew this was his fault. He had thought that it was just Kyle bothering her, and that she didn’t want to ride with Kyle. Now he knew there was more.

“She isn’t feeling well,” Meg said.

“Well, we can go back to our original plan. We’ll be fine without her.”

Jena listened to the three of them walk back toward the corral and the office. She felt guilty for not helping her aunt and uncle out, but being around Luke and the horses was just too much. She lay back and stared at the ceiling. She couldn’t help but wonder if she had been crazy to think this could work. In the last few weeks, she had felt her heart begin to settle. She had been able to forget. To block out everything that had happened in the last year. The sadness inside had begun to be replaced by something else. Love? She was falling for Luke hard. Perhaps she should leave, she thought to herself. Salty tears began to fall down her cheeks again. She thought of leaving her aunt and uncle. Would they understand? Would they let her leave without an explanation? Would they keep Gatsby for her? She couldn’t bear the thought of selling him but wasn’t ready to ride, either. There were things to figure out but she needed to make it work.