The Impossible Art of Falling (Impossible Art #1) (16 page)

“No. I’m not ready for him. I want to ride one of the trail horses. No saddle. And I want you with me.”

“Oh.” The look on his face told Jena he was puzzled. She sighed softly, mustering up some more courage.

“Luke, when I’m with you, I feel safe. I figure if you are there with me, I can do it. I can calm myself down enough to not worry. And I know you’ll catch me if I fall.”

“Oh.” This time, the look of confusion left his face, as understanding replaced it. “I know just who to take out. Hold on.” He disappeared around the corner. She heard the sound of a bridle being grabbed off of a hook and then the sound of the latch on the stall door click. She waited anxiously, wishing he would hurry before she could change her mind. The sound of hooves on the concrete aisle told her there was no turning back.

“Here we are,” Luke said, as he rounded the corner leading a chestnut mare with a flaxen mane and soft, kind eyes. A long white blaze spread down her face and four matching socks graced her legs. She was perfect. “This is Honey. We don’t use her very often for trail rides anymore, as she is getting up there. She’s gentle and strong though and will easily hold both of us.”

They both walked out of the back door and into an open field. Luke hopped on first and then scooted back, just enough to allow Jena to get on.

“Come on,” he coaxed. “I’ll help you up.”

With a big breath, she placed her hands on the mares back and jumped. Luke caught her under her arms and helped her. She swung her leg over carefully and was then sitting upright. Luke sat behind her, wrapped his arms around her and held the reins.

“Are you okay?” he whispered into her ear.

“Yes,” she nodded, as a tear slid down her cheek. The relief she felt from being back on top of a horse was more than she was prepared for. Tears fell slowly. Not from fear, but because she felt like she was home. On the back of this horse and in Luke’s arms, she was home.

If Luke knew she was crying, he didn’t let on. She tangled her hands in the horse’s long, creamy colored mane, and Luke clicked his tongue to encourage Honey to move forward. They simply walked, their bodies moving as one on the back of the horse. The sun was still below the horizon, but it was getting lighter by the minute. They walked down to where the field narrowed and then slowly crept up. They reached the top, and he turned Honey around, so that they were looking down at the farm and out over the mountains. The sunrise painted the sky in brilliant colors. One moment, orange and pink, the next lavender and gray.  Jena leaned back into Luke’s arms, and he wrapped them tighter around her. He leaned down and kissed her cheek, tasting the salty tears, which only brought on more. This man had broken her free. Had helped her to move on. Had helped her to remember how much she missed riding. She turned her head over her shoulder, seeking out his gaze.

“Thank you,” she whispered, before she pulled his lips toward her own.

chapter 17

A
FTER THEIR MORNING RIDE, JENA felt more alive than she had in months. She had forgotten how good life was from the back of a horse. She walked back into the house and took her place at the breakfast table. Meg looked visibly relieved to see her at breakfast. She really should apologize to her aunt, she thought to herself.

“You’re up early,” Meg commented and noticed that Jena’s step was lighter. 

“I went for a walk. I needed to clear my head,” Jena threw in, just in case her aunt realized that she hadn’t come from downstairs but rather from outside. Still, she didn’t like lying to her aunt, no matter how much she tried to soften it.

“Looks like Luke and your uncle will be late for breakfast, seeing as they’re still feeding the horses, from the looks of it.” Jena knew this was partially her fault. Since she and Luke had been out riding, he got a much later start than usual. By the time Rob came out to help, he was usually halfway done. This morning, he had barely started.

“That’s okay.” Actually, Jena thought she could use this time to talk with her aunt. Something she realized that she hadn’t been doing enough of since she had come.

“Aunt Meg?” she started timidly, as they filled their plates up with corned beef hash. “I’m sorry about the last few days. Sometimes it’s just hard, you know?” She didn’t want to add anything about how she and Luke had fought. “You and Uncle Rob have been wonderful to me, and I feel like I haven’t repaid you.”

“Sweetie,” Meg said, placing her hand over Jena’s, “you don’t need to thank us. I know that losing your father was hard. It’s been hard on all of us. There were many times that I wished we lived closer, so that I could help more.” She paused, needing to push back her own grief. “When we heard the farm was going under, we felt we needed to offer to take you and Gatsby. I know that you’re old enough to be on your own, but we weren’t sure you had anywhere to go. We are your family and we would do anything for you. I hope you know that.”

Jena smiled, feeling the sincerity in her aunt’s voice.

“I appreciate it all the same, Aunt Meg, I really do. Because you’re right, I didn’t know where I’d go, and you gave me a place to call home.  I’d like to help around here a little more, if I can.”

“Of course.” Meg smiled and squeezed her hand. “You just let us know what you are ready to do.” Meg looked down and began eating her breakfast. Jena noticed the tears that had gathered in her aunt’s eyes.

Just then, Luke and Rob trounced onto the porch and began flipping their boots off in the mud room. Luke was grinning from ear to ear when he took his seat across from Jena and somehow, Meg knew that the two of them had somehow worked out their differences.

After everyone had finished breakfast and pushed their plates aside, Jena heard the sound of tire tracks on the gravel driveway and knew that Kyle had arrived. She frowned to herself, almost forgetting that he would be with them today. Although, it was actually easier to avoid him when she was working with the horses. They gave her something to do. A reason to walk away from him, if needed, and today, that is exactly what she needed.

“Uncle Rob? I’d like to help with the horses again, if that’s alright with you.”

“Sure,” he answered, unable to hide the look of surprise. Especially when he noticed the huge grin on Luke’s face.

KYLE HAD STAYED AWAY from the farm for a day. Partially, to give Jena the space they asked him to and partially because he really did have the meeting at the university that he used as an excuse. He felt bad for upsetting Jena that way. He thought he was just being nice. He never thought that she would go off like that. Lately, he felt as if was constantly screwing things up.

He pulled into the driveway, choosing to get to the farm moments before they would open, and he was met with a view of Luke and Jena walking side by side, leading horses out of the barn. She was smiling as if nothing had happened. He scowled to himself, targeting his anger toward Luke, who always seemed to be in his way.

Kyle wasn’t dumb. He had noticed the many small interactions between Luke and Jena. He saw how their eyes followed each other when they didn’t think the other was watching. He had tried to get Jena to go out with him. Not because he was particularly attracted to her. She was beautiful, but his heart was still broken. Something he still blamed Luke for. He kept asking her, just to bother Luke. Luke had taken what was his, and he was simply trying to take something of Luke’s. A payback of sorts.

The slam of his truck door got their attention, and he saw them step a bit further apart, the smiles leaving both of their faces.

“Good morning, Jena,” he said, when she was within earshot. “Thomas,” he muttered, in Luke’s direction. He waited for Luke to walk out of earshot with the horse he was leading, before saying anything else.

“Listen, Jena, I just wanted to apologize for the other morning. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s fine, Kyle,” Jena answered, tying the gelding she was leading to its post. “You don’t know anything about me. You didn’t know it would upset me.” She smiled again, but there was something off about it. He studied her for a moment, then nodded and walked off, ready to get the first group ready.

Luke tied the horse he was leading to its post, then walked back cautiously toward Jena.

“What was that all about?”

“He apologized. For the other day.” She dismissed it with a shrug.

“You know, we just have to deal with him today. Then we’re off tomorrow, and it can just be you and me.” He was in front of her now, and he reached out to grab her hand, his thumb lightly rubbing the pad of skin between her thumb and forefinger. She shivered at the contact, but smiled all the same.

“Come on, cowboy.  We’d better go see how many horses are going out on the first ride.” She squeezed his hand before walking away.

That night, when Jena stepped into the barn, she could hear the soft sounds of Jeff Buckley coming from Luke’s room.

“So, you’re a Jeff Buckley fan, now?” she questioned, walking right in. There was no need to knock anymore. Luke was sitting in the chair by the window, with a book in his hand. When he saw her, he tossed the book aside and wasted no time crossing the room.

“Well, someone told me he was pretty great.” He pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her hair, inhaling the scent of lavender and vanilla. She snuggled back into him and held him tightly.  “I thought I’d check it out. And you’re right,” he said, pulling away to look into her eyes. “This song is pretty amazing.” He grabbed her again, and they embraced in silence, slowly rocking back and forth in a sort of dance.

When the song ended, they parted, Luke going to change the song on his iPod, and Jena taking a seat on the bed.

“How was your day,” he asked, putting on some of his characteristic Johnny Cash.

“Well, it had a great start, and I’d say that it is going to end pretty nice, as well,” she teased and bit her lip. One leg was crossed, and she was leaning back on her elbows. Tonight, she had come prepared. It was probably presumptuous of her, but she didn’t really want to sleep in jeans for one more night. Instead, she had on lime green pajama bottoms with horses on them, and a tank top. Luke couldn’t help but notice how her breasts swelled underneath it. Desire arose in him, and he didn’t know how much longer he would be content just kissing her.

“Did you go see your horse, first?” Luke asked, trying to keep himself from grabbing and kissing her senseless. “I don’t think he’s happy that we aren’t meeting up in front of his stall anymore. He doesn’t get as many treats.”

“No, I didn’t,” she admitted, crinkling her nose. “I suppose I should go say goodnight to the other man in my life.” She got up and slipped from the room and again, Luke couldn’t believe just how lucky he was.

He took off his shirt and jeans, leaving just his boxers on and walked around the room straightening his things. The picture of his sister on the corner of his dresser caught his eye. He walked over to it and picked it up. It was a picture of the two of them, taken the summer before she died. His fingers traced the curve of her face, and he held his thumb where he knew someone should have been. It hadn’t originally been a picture of just the two of them. Kyle had been in it with them. Just thinking about him made Luke angry all over again.
If only he had
… Luke shook the thought from his mind, not allowing his dark thoughts to overtake him. He couldn’t blame Kyle, no matter how hard he tried. Deep down, he knew it had been his fault.

“Okay, he’s had his treat and is all tucked in for the night,” Jena said, interrupting his thoughts. He nearly dropped the picture but managed to right it before it clattered to the ground. It didn’t go unnoticed to Jena, and she walked over and picked up the frame.

“Is that your… sister?” Jena asked, testing the word out. They had never talked about his sister. Even after she had told him about her father, he had yet to tell her anything, reminding Jena that they still didn’t know each other all that well. “I’m sorry. I know family is off limits.” She looked like a child that had been caught taking cookies from the jar.

“It’s okay. And yes, it is my sister,” he answered gloomily. Jena didn’t say any more, giving him the space to continue if he wanted, or to change the subject, too. “She… died… in a car accident. It wasn’t very long ago.” Jena took the picture from the dresser and looked at it, carefully deciding on her next sentence. She knew what it was like. The wrong question could push him away. “She rode horses, too?”

“Yes, when we were younger. She liked to jump and took lessons for awhile. When she was about fifteen, she stopped, her childhood obsession being replaced with a budding social life.”
And Kyle
, he thought. He could feel his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. Jena sensed his tension and put the picture down. She turned to face him and took his arms and wrapped them around her. Slowly, she could feel the tension leave his body. Without a word, she pulled him toward the bed, where they both collapsed. Their kisses were soft and tentative, an escape from the burdens they both carried.

chapter 17

T
HE NEXT MORNING, THE SUNSHINE streamed through the window, waking Luke first.  Jena was sprawled on her back, her hair twisting in swirls around her. He rolled to his side and propped himself up on his arm to watch her sleep. By now, there was no denying it. He was so in love with this girl. She made him forget, and she made him want to remember.

He thought about his plan to leave the farm at the end of the summer and knew now that this would no longer be an option. Unless, of course, she wanted to go with him. Honestly, with her here, it was feeling more and more like home. He was certainly falling hard.

Jena stirred next to him, and he pulled her tightly into his chest. He felt her sigh, as she pressed herself against him.

“Good morning,” she murmured against him.

“Morning,” he answered and kissed the top of her head.

“We have the day off today. What would you like to do?” Luke asked, but there was a knock at the door before she could answer.  “Shit!” Luke muttered and was happy that there was a lock on the door, and that he had remembered to latch it last night.

“What?” Jena whispered, her voice still full of sleep. 

“Shhh, your uncle’s out there.”

“Oh!” she exclaimed, sitting up while pulling the blanket up around her. She still wore her tank top and pajama pants, but the thought of her uncle finding her in someone’s bed was enough to send her into a panic.

“I’ll be right out, Rob. I kind of slept in.” Luke said and listened for the footsteps to retreat. “I have to go help him feed and turn horses back out before breakfast. You can wait here and sneak out later. I’ll see you at the house.” He placed a kiss on her nose, then her cheek, then her lips, before leaving. Jena lay back down in the warmth of his bed, and buried her face in his pillow. In a few minutes, she could sneak out into the barn and no one would ever know that she was even in here. Once she heard them go outside with a cart full of hay, Jena slid out of Luke’s room, and made her way back to the house.

Meg was already up and cooking breakfast when Jena walked through the screen door.

“Another walk?” Meg questioned. Jena watched her take in the fact that she was still in her pajamas. She would never believe that she had merely been out for a walk.

“I went to give Gatsby a treat,” she tried as a cover.

“Did you see your uncle and Luke out there? They should be feeding.”

“No, I didn’t. I mean…I heard them out there, but didn’t see anyone.” Jena could feel her face flush and tried her best to hide behind her hair. She grabbed the bowl of eggs Meg gave her and took them out to the table. Meg followed with plates of toast and sausage.

“I suspect they will come in shortly, although they got another late start. Luke hasn’t been getting up as early as he usually does.” Meg looked at Jena suspiciously. She knew that Jena had been going out to the barn at night and not coming back until the wee hours of the morning. The past few nights, however, she hadn’t been so sure that she had come in at all. Meg had been watching Luke and Jena together and knew that something was going on. Clearly, Jena wasn’t ready to say anything and that was fine. All that mattered was that Jena was happy and clearly, Luke was part of the cause. “Might as well eat before it gets cold.”

They both filled up plates of food. The women sat in comfortable silence, only speaking when they needed something passed. About ten minutes later, Rob and Luke joined them.

“Did you get the horses all taken care of?”

“Sure did,” Rob said. “I had to drag this boy out of bed again, though.”

Jena froze, feeling her face blush yet again. Luke nudged her from under the table, making her smile, a gesture both Rob and Meg noticed.

“So, what are you two going to do on your day off today?” Meg asked, intentionally addressing them together to try to confirm her suspicions.

“Actually,” Jena offered. “I was thinking that maybe I would ask Luke to take me out on a ride. Take me for a tour of the mountain trails.” She looked right at Luke. Rob and Meg both froze. They didn’t know that Jena had already ridden, so they would assume this would be the first time. They were pleased to see that she even wanted to ride again.

“Sure,” Luke said tentatively. “If that’s what you want, I can take the time to take you out.”

              “I have some people coming out to look at a few of the yearlings this afternoon, but I think I can handle that on my own. You two have fun. You can take Jasper and Sam out, if you want.”

              “Sounds like you have a plan,” Meg smiled. “I can pack a lunch, if you’d like. Then you don’t need to hurry back.”

              Jena nodded, actually excited about the prospect of spending the day riding on the trails. She devoured the remainder of her food and went upstairs to shower and change,  while trying not to give the illusion that she was rushing to get ready.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Jena?” Luke asked, as they walked out to the barn. “We don’t need to go for a ride. We could go for a hike instead.”

“No, I thought about it. I need to do this. Being on a horse yesterday, reminded me how much I missed it. I need to do this for me…and I want you to be with me.”

“Well, okay then,” he said, swinging his arm around her and pulling her tight. “I know the perfect spot to take you.”

HALF AN HOUR LATER, they were ready to go. Luke had gone back in the kitchen for the lunches Meg had made, which he promptly packed in saddle bags. They tacked up Jasper and Sam and led them to the head of the trail that would take them into the park. Luke hopped up effortlessly, swinging his leg over the saddle. Jena lifted her foot into the stirrup and hesitated. Luke, sensing her concern, waited patiently without saying a word. He watched her pinch her eyes closed and exhale deeply before hoisting herself up in the saddle.

“Okay?” he asked.

She adjusted herself in the saddle and placed her other foot in the stirrup. It felt good to be back up here. She was amazed at how her body remembered. She had always said that the world was a better place from the back of a horse.

“Yeah. I think I am,” she answered, with a smile. “Let’s go.”

Luke led them off into the woods. They talked occasionally, as Jena took in the beauty of the mountains around her. The trail followed a stream that widened and formed small waterfalls at times. It was a seldom used trail, Luke had told her. Usually, only the locals knew where it was, so they wouldn’t encounter very many people, if any. He showed her animal dens and strange foliage. He knew his way around here well, and she followed him easily. When the trail was wide enough, they rode side by side.

It was late morning, and the sun reached high above the mountains as they rode up the ridge. Luke stopped his horse and turned to face her, a warm smile on his face. Jena pulled up next to him and took in the view below. The ridge fell down into a cove, then sloped back up into mountains that looked like soft rolls of green velvet. The yellow air shimmered around them. It was almost magical.