The Impossible Art of Falling (Impossible Art #1) (24 page)

“I can imagine,” Meg said. “You have a lot of memories there, because that was your home. I wish there had been some way to keep things going.”

Jena shrugged.

“It’s okay. I don’t think I would have wanted it. It would have been a lot to deal with.”

The room stood still, letting her comment sink in and perhaps, shocked by the admission.

“Really,” Rob finally choked out. “We always thought that’s what you wanted.”

“I want to ride, but I am not ready for the responsibility of running a farm yet.” She squeezed Luke’s hand, still holding her own. She felt as if this was something he needed to know. Despite the memories of being in South Carolina and being back at the farm, she had no regrets about being here.

“Well, you know you are welcome here for as long as you need,” Meg said, and Jena knew that was true.

Today was a day off, and Jena felt truly at peace for the first time in a long time. She spent most of the day curled up on the porch swing, with a book in hand. Luke spent part of the day in the barn, working on odd projects with her uncle. Meg joined her from time to time and also spent time in the kitchen.

Jena caught the outline of her horse, far off in the pasture. She smiled, as she thought about the way they had connected earlier that morning. It was as if they had never missed a day and being back in the saddle made her feel as if all of the pieces of herself were falling neatly in place.

The sound of feet on the wooden porch steps drew her attention. Luke walked over and leaned down to kiss her. His lips lingered over hers, asking a question. They stayed because she didn’t know the answer.

“Enjoying your day off?” he asked and took a seat next to her, making the swing sway back and forth lightly.

“Yeah,” she answered, “but, I feel bad that I am not out there, helping you and my uncle. Or even my aunt, who from the smell of it, has been baking for most of the afternoon.” She curled into his side and leaned her head on his shoulder, breathing him in deeply. Luke smelled of sweat and horses and sunshine…and she loved it. She crinkled her nose in mock disapproval.

“Don’t feel bad, sometimes you just need some time off. And yes, I know,” he said, lightly pushing her away with a smile, “I know I need to take a shower. In fact, I think I will go do that right now.” He pecked her on the cheek and stood to go. “Do you want to go to the drive-in tonight? I think they’re playing some random chick flick. It doesn’t really matter, because the only thing to do at a drive-in is make out, anyway,” he teased. She swung her hand out to smack him, but he was already walking away, chuckling.

Jena was just happy that he was being so playful. He had felt so distant earlier this morning, and she hoped that whatever had been bothering him was gone. Besides, he was right; the only thing to do at the drive-in was make-out, and maybe that is exactly what they needed to do.

chapter 23

T
HERE WAS A RIFT BETWEEN them. A chasm growing so wide, that even now, as she lay beside him, seemed impossible to cross. He felt so alone, despite the girl lying next to him, curled on her side. He brushed a hand down her cheek, and she stirred before rolling over and pushing herself as close as she could, into his side. To any outsider, the past week between them had seemed normal, but he had felt a difference. He felt as if she were slowly pulling away or maybe, if he was being completely honest with himself, maybe he was pushing her. He had watched her carefully when they went to Aiken. Now, he truly knew the life she had come from, and he wondered if he would ever be able to give her a life like that.

              He stared at her and tried to memorize this moment. He wanted to remember every inch of her face, every curve of her body. He wanted to commit to memory the way she crinkled her brow in sleep, and how she softened when he touched her forehead to smooth the wrinkles out. The way her eyelids fluttered softly against her cheeks, the warmth of her skin on his own, and the caress of her hair when he buried his face into her. He wanted to always remember this moment, because he feared that soon, it would be gone. He closed his eyes, letting the memory etch itself into his soul.

              “Hey,” her voiced called out. When she reached her hand up to caress his face, he opened his eyes. “Why so serious, cowboy?” she asked, with a smile. Luke smiled back and his lips sought hers. He kissed her desperately, his hands reaching into her hair.

              “Hey yourself,” he finally answered, pulling away. “Just thinking, that’s all. We should probably get up soon, although I would rather stay here with you all day.”

“Or, we could go for a morning ride. Watch the sunset come up over the trees.”

“Sure,” he said, and life felt like it was back to normal.

They dressed and walked out to the barn. Luke stopped off in the tack room and grabbed a bridle. Jena had already taken Honey out of the stall and was brushing her off when he came back. They worked together soundlessly, moving around each other in a sort of dance. Honey nudged Jena, and she reached up to stroke her silky forelock.

“Ready?” Luke asked after tightening the girth.

Jena nodded, and they walked the mare outside and soon, were on their way up the hill.

“School starts back up in a few weeks,” Luke mentioned casually, as the morning light was reaching for the trees. Jena turned a bit from the back of Honey to look at him.

“Does that mean you are leaving?” She held her breath.

“Not necessarily. I mean…I decided to sign up to take a few classes at the University of Tennessee. I guess…I guess I just wondered what your plans were.” Now, Luke was the one holding his breath.

“I don’t know, honestly. I hadn’t thought too much about it.”

“Oh.” Silence hung around them again. By now, the light had reached its fingers into the branches and was now climbing up over the mountains, pulling a new day with it.

“Are you disappointed?” Jena asked.

“No! Absolutely not,” Luke explained. He wrapped his arms closer around her. A cool breeze stirred around them, and she shivered a bit, burrowing herself deeper into his arms. “I just didn’t know what your plans for the future are.” What he really wanted to know was whether or not he had a place in that future.

“I don’t know what I want to do, Luke. A few months ago, I didn’t think I wanted to do anything. And now, well . . . things are different. I didn’t think I would stay here long. I thought I would have left by now, once I got myself back together. But, there is a lot more for me to think about.”

“I know,” Luke reassured. “I know.” He turned Honey back toward the barn. Perhaps their future was unclear, but right now, there were chores to be done.

KYLE PULLED IN SHORTLY after breakfast. Jena and Luke were walking toward the barn to start gathering horses for the day, but stopped to greet him.

“Hey, man,” Kyle said, reaching for Luke’s hand. Jena was happy to see the two men were friends again. “Hey Jena,” he said and reached out to give her a hug. Kyle had certainly changed in the last week. The three of them worked well together, now that it seemed that his past wasn’t dictating his future.

“So, are you going to play football again this year?” Luke asked him as they continued toward the barn.

“Yeah, we actually started practice a few days a week. It’s why I haven’t been working every day. I have to admit, it feels good.” A smile lit up his entire face, as he began to tell them about the past few days.

Jena fell behind, letting them have their male bonding conversation. College was something she hadn’t really thought about, but it was definitely something she needed to consider. She had always gotten good grades, but her future had always been competitions, something that wasn’t necessarily a possibility now. She wondered if she could still get in this semester, or if she would have to wait a semester, or even a year. It was something that consumed the rest of her day, as she got horses ready and helped her aunt in the office. By the end of the day, she was convinced that it was something she might like to do.

She sat on her decision during dinner, waiting for the right time to tell Luke. Perhaps her apprehension about their future was what had been bothering him. Telling him that she was ready to think about the future now, might smooth things over. After the table was cleared, the dishes done, and Kyle had gone home, the foursome took up their normal positions on the porch, and Jena waited for the right time to tell them.                                                                 

The flash of headlights across the porch, and the sound of gravel crunching under tires got everyone’s attention. Rob sat up and looked at the unfamiliar car pulling down the driveway. The car pulled to a stop in front of the house, and they all waited expectantly. After a minute, the driver’s side door opened and Jena froze. Blonde hair cascaded down small shoulders, and a waist tapered in on the silhouette of the woman who gracefully stepped out. The figure turned, and she found herself face to face with Karen Grayson.

Luke felt Jena stiffen beside him and turned toward the now parked car in time to see the woman climb out. Jena reached for his hand as she stood up and gripped it with all of her strength, afraid to let it go. Luke stood with her and placed his free hand on her arm, sensing the need to steady her.

“Hello, Jena,” the woman said, standing next to the car, arms crossed. “Aren’t you going to come greet your mother?”

Luke felt Jena suck in her breath next to him, and he placed his arm around her shoulder, protectively.

“Karen, so great to see you. Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?” Meg interjected, walking down the stairs to great her sister-in-law. Jena appreciated the time that Meg gave her to compose herself. Her mother was here. Her mother was actually here. After months of being absent, she had finally come back, and Jena felt as if she were five and seeking her mother’s praise all over again.

“Well, it was sort of a last minute decision. I actually didn’t know where Jena went after the farm sold, so I just assumed that she would be here,” Karen said, waving her hand dismissively. “So, I’m living near Wellington, Florida, and I thought you might want to come live down there. I’ve come to get you,” she added, turning to Jena.

Jena could feel the words stuck in her throat again. She opened her mouth to say something to her mother, but the words were caught and nothing came out. Feeling the rising panic in her chest, she turned on her heel and stormed up to her room. Luke, sensing her need to flee, let her go.

“Well, that went well,” Karen muttered, as she walked to her car and grabbed a suitcase out of the trunk.

“Karen, why don’t you have a seat? I’ll bring you some sweet tea and then get a room ready for you,” Meg said. She got up and walked in the house. Luke followed her in.

“Luke,” Meg said, once they were out of earshot, “why don’t you go up and check on Jena. I don’t know how much she’s told you, but things between Jena and her mother are strained, to say the least.” Luke, sensing the bitterness behind Meg’s request, understood why Jena must be so upset.

“Yeah, she told me quite a bit in the last week,” Luke said. “I don’t want to see her get hurt again.” And he didn’t want Jena to leave, he silently added to himself.

“I know. Neither do we. Frankly, I wasn’t sure we would ever see Karen again. What mother in her right mind goes off and leaves her daughter after such a tragedy? Even if she is old enough to take care of herself.” Meg’s bitterness came from her inability to have children of her own. She would never understand how a mother could abandon her child, no matter how old they were.

Luke nodded in agreement then headed up the stairs. He stood outside Jena’s room for a minute and listened. He could hear the sound of soft music playing and tapped on the door.

“Jena?” She didn’t answer. “Can I come in?” He heard the muffled sound of footsteps, and then the door opened before him. Her eyes were sad, and he could see she had been crying. He stepped in and closed the door behind him. She stood a few feet from him, her arms wrapped around herself. Luke walked to her and pulled her into his arms. She buried her face into his chest. He felt his t-shirt grow tighter, as she grabbed fistfuls of fabric. He didn’t speak, he didn’t push her. He let her do what she needed to do. How well he had learned to read her in the last few weeks. She would speak when she had something to say.

“I don’t know what she is doing here,” Jena began. “She’s the one who left. She’s the one who walked out on me and what was left of my life. I wasn’t the one who pushed her away, she pushed me away, and now she just expects me to pick up and leave? Just like that?” Jena pushed away from him and stormed to the window, any sadness she was holding onto, switching to anger.