The List (14 page)

Jon took my hand and pulled me through the crowd. We only made it halfway to the door before he was kissing me again. My legs wobbled and electricity shot through every nerve in my body. It was all aimed in one direction, and the heat between my legs was overwhelming.

Jon's mouth moved faster and I pulled myself closer, desperate to close the gap between us. When he shifted his hardness against my thigh, I gasped. I'd read romance novels by the dozens—some very explicit—but they hadn't prepared me for that feeling. I had no clue desire could make my knees wobble, or that lust could make my brain stop working.

“We should go,” Jon said, pulling back.

I was panting and people were staring, but I didn't care. “Yes.”

J
on took my hand and led me toward the exit. We were only about six feet away from freedom when Chris, Ryan, and Liam walked through the front door. I froze, but it wasn't from the betrayal that flashed in Chris's eyes. It was from the jealousy, anger, and pain in Ryan's.

Chris took two quick steps forward and shoved Jon before I could react. Jon stumbled back and my hand slipped out of his. Chris's face hardened and his jaw was tense. He took another step toward Jon. I moved in front of Chris. His whole body shook and he stepped around me, practically pushing me out of the way. By that time Jon had recovered and the two were in each other's faces. Chris seethed, but Jon's expression was somewhere between confusion and rage.

“What the hell is your problem?” Jon yelled, shoving Chris.

Chris held his ground and moved his face closer to Jon's “What the hell do you think you're doing with my girlfriend?”

Jon blinked and frowned, and some of the anger melted away. Then it was back and he was looking at me. “Is this your boyfriend?”

The alcohol was still in my system, but the lust running through my bloodstream had been replaced by anger. Suddenly, the music was too loud and the room too crowded. Chris and Jon's movements were sharper than normal and everything was exaggerated. The last thing I wanted was another guy telling me what to do, and Chris's assumption made the hair on my scalp stand up.

I shook my head and grabbed Chris's arm, pulling him away from Jon. “Girlfriend? I'm not your girlfriend! We've gone out a few times, Chris. You don't own me.”

Chris flinched like I'd stabbed him in the heart, and Jon relaxed. He moved to my side and put his arm around my waist, pulling me against him. His eye was on Chris when he kissed my neck. I didn't blink. Not even when Chris's face turned bright red or when he took another step toward Jon.

Jon's body stiffened. Ryan and Liam pulled Chris back before anything could happen. Then Cami and Mike came out of nowhere. Mike's chest was all puffed up like he was ready for a fight. But Liam dragged Chris toward the door.

Ryan didn't move. “What the hell are you doing?”

He looked right at me, but Cami answered, “Having a good time. Where do you guys get off screwing it up?”

Ryan frowned and leaned closer to his cousin. “I helped you get those IDs with the understanding that I would be with you when you used them, Cami.”

“Who the hell is this guy?” Mike asked.

Ryan took one step toward Mike. Ryan was almost a head taller. He glared down at Mike and said, “Her brother.”

Mike swore and stepped back, but Cami shook her head. “My cousin.”

Ryan flinched and he stepped away from Cami. They stared each other down for a few seconds before she grabbed Mike's hand and pulled him toward the exit. “Let's get out of here.”

Ryan didn't try to stop her, but he did step forward when Jon tried to pull me to the door. “She's a virgin.”

My mouth fell open and Jon's arm dropped from my waist. He narrowed his eyes on my face, then looked back and forth between Ryan and me for a few seconds before shaking his head. “I'm gonna take off.”

My face was on fire and my eyes burned when Jon walked away. Ryan didn't blink when I looked up. There wasn't an ounce of remorse in his eyes.

I shook my head. I had to fight to control the tears building behind my eyes. “How could you?”

I pushed past Ryan and stomped toward the door. I made it outside just in time to see Jon disappear into the crowd. Liam and Chris stood next to the door, and Liam's face was just as red as Chris's.

“Who was that wanker Cami went off with?” Liam asked.

I waved him away and headed down the street. I wasn't even sure where I was going, but I knew if I kept walking I'd eventually find a cab. It was after midnight, so I wasn't the only person trying to make it home.

“Annie.” Chris jogged up behind me. “We going to talk about this?”

Liam was right there, pulling him back. “She's pissed, mate. Let her be.”

“I'll talk to you in the morning,” I muttered, keeping my eyes straight ahead.

“At least let me make sure you get home okay!” Chris yelled.

I didn't stop or turn around or even look over my shoulder. My body was heavy and my heart ached. What had started out as a fun night had ended horribly, and it had nothing to do with Chris. All I could think about was the expression on Ryan's face when he'd walked through the door.

My feet moved on their own until one of my heels got caught in a crack in the sidewalk about a block away from the club. Barely stopping, I slipped the shoes off and scooped them up, tucking them under my arm.

A few seconds later someone touched my arm. “Buttercup.”

My heart jumped and my feet stopped working and I squeezed my eyes shut. “What do you want, Ryan?”

“I want to take you home.”

My insides constricted, knowing the words didn't mean what I wanted them to. “I'll text you so you know I get there okay,” I said, but I still didn't move.

“I'm sorry.”

“No, you're not.”

“You're right.” I opened my eyes and Ryan stepped closer. “I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry I stopped you from going home with that guy, and I'm not sorry I stopped you from having sex with a complete stranger.”

His gray eyes searched mine and heat flooded my body. My breath caught in my throat and for a full ten seconds I couldn't speak.

When I finally managed to find my voice, it came out weak and shaky. “Why do you care?”

He exhaled and rubbed the back of his neck. His hair was moist and curled slightly above his ears. He smelled like alcohol and sweat and salt, and it made me hot all over again. All I could think about was him kissing me in the bathroom. All I could do was imagine how it would feel to have him pressed against me in that club instead of Jon. What it would be like to have his hands on my body. To have him take me to his apartment and unzip my dress.

“I don't know,” he whispered.

I glanced back toward the bar. Chris and Liam were nowhere in sight. My eyes went back to Ryan and I stepped closer. “Why did you kiss me at my party?”

“I don't know.”

I shook my head, and the people walking by and the cars in the road tilted and spun. “Tell me.”

“Buttercup . . .” His expression was pained, but his eyes went to my lips. “Chris likes you.”

“But I don't know if I like Chris.” My throat was so tight I could barely get the words out. My heart pounded to the beat of the footsteps tapping on the pavement behind me.

“You've been drinking.”

“So have you.”

He nodded and took another step toward me. We were so close his warm breath caressed my skin. It made my heart pound.

“This is bad.” He stared at my lips and there was a longing in his expression that I'd never seen before.

“I can't stop thinking about you.” My tone was pleading, almost desperate.

Ryan groaned and grabbed me. He pulled my body against his. His lips were hot and salty when they closed over mine, and not the least bit hesitant. Then his hand moved up my back. I pressed my chest against his while his tongue delved into my mouth, tracing mine. My legs shook and a sound somewhere between a moan and a whimper came out of me. I ran my hand up his arm to the back of his neck, through his damp hair.

“Buttercup,” he whispered against my lips.

“Take me back to your place.”

He nodded and his mouth moved away from mine. My chest stayed pressed against his while his eyes searched the street. His hand never left my back. He waved down a cab and before I could even process what was happening, we were sliding inside. He shot his address at the driver before turning back to me.

Then his mouth was on mine again, hot and insistent. One hand ran down my throat, stopping just above my breasts while the other slid up my leg. I groaned when his fingers moved under my skirt. Ryan's lips slid across my jaw and down my neck, and his hand inched farther up my thigh. My blood beat in my ears hot and fast, like it had been replaced by lava. When his fingers brushed against my lacy thong my insides quivered.

The car came to a stop and we lurched forward just as the driver said, “End of the line.”

Ryan pulled back and I tried to straighten my dress while stumbling out of the cab. He was right behind me. We barely made it to the door before his lips were on mine again. I stumbled and my back slammed against the wall, but neither one of us paused. His tongue worked its way into my mouth while he fumbled for the keys.

It seemed to take years, but finally the door was open and he pulled me inside. His apartment was on the second floor and neither one of us could keep our hands off the other while we climbed the stairs. Once we finally made it up, he had to struggle with the keys again.

Then we were in his living room. His hands worked on my dress while his mouth assaulted mine. He only got the zipper down a fraction of an inch before impatiently yanking the top down. Ryan's hand cupped one of my breasts while his mouth moved to the other. I gasped when his lips closed over my nipple. My already moist skin grew hot, and my legs trembled like they were going to give out at any moment.

“Ryan.” My voice was hoarse and his name was nothing more than a whisper.

He pulled back and looked in my eyes. “Are you okay?”

I swallowed and nodded. “Your bed.”

He led me to his room. My back was to him when the door shut and his lips touched my shoulder, moving up to my neck. This time he managed to get my zipper all the way down and I shivered when my dress dropped to the floor.

Then he spun me around and crushed his lips against mine. Somehow we ended up on the bed. His hands and mouth were everywhere, exploring every inch of my flesh, making my body buzz with need. I ran my hands up his back, and his muscles flexed and moved under my palms. I pulled his shirt over his head and caressed every muscle on his chest. He moved his hand down my side and over my thigh, pulling my leg around his hip. The rough fabric of his jeans rubbed against my most sensitive spot, covered only by my lacy thong. Waves of pleasure shot through my body that were unlike anything I'd ever imagined.

I groaned when I moved my body against his. Everything in me wanted more. Needed it. But I was inexperienced and my brain was fuzzy, and I didn't know what to do. His mouth and hands moved across my body, making me crazy. The blood pumping through my veins boiled.

He rolled me onto my back so he was between my legs. I could feel the hard length of him pressed against me. All I could think about was removing the clothes keeping us apart and letting him slide inside me, feeling him rock against my body. My hands shook when I ran them down his chest to his stomach. My fingers trembled when I undid his pants. I played with the elastic on his boxer briefs. Thinking about seeing him naked on the beach made me tremble with desire. I slid my hand inside his boxers. He groaned against my mouth when I wrapped my fingers around him. Heat pulsed through me, moving the fear and hesitation aside.

“Do you have a condom?”

Ryan's lips froze against mine and every muscle in his body tensed. He pulled back and looked at me, blinking twice before jumping to his feet. “Shit.” He ran his hand through his hair and paced the room a few times before turning to look at me again. “Fuck.”

My breath came out in short gasps. I could hardly breathe, let alone talk. The expression on his face reminded me of an animal that had been cornered. I couldn't figure out what had happened to make him feel that way.

Ryan stood there for a few seconds before zipping his pants. “What are we doing?”

I inhaled and sat up. “What do you mean?”

He shook his head and backed up until he bumped into the wall. “You're dating Chris.”

“It's casual.” My pounding heart constricted and I shook my head. “I don't want Chris.”

“He's my best friend.” Ryan's eyes flitted over me, then he groaned and looked at the ceiling. “Will you cover yourself up?”

My cheeks burned and I scrambled out of the bed. I grabbed my dress off the floor. Shame and embarrassment stung at the back of my eyes. Ryan's rejection made my heart physically hurt. It was like someone had ripped it out of my chest, put it in a blender, then shoved it back inside.

I pulled my dress on and stumbled from the room, trying to blink back the tears blurring my vision. They spilled over and I wiped at them with one hand while trying to zip my dress with the other. My hands shook too much to get it up.

“Let me help you.”

Ryan was behind me, pulling up my zipper. I was crying too hard to stop him. All I wanted was to find my shoes and purse and get out of the apartment, but I couldn't stop the tears.

“Buttercup.”

The nickname stung, and it made the tears fall faster. Like he'd broken down some kind of dam inside me. “Stop it, Ryan. Stop calling me that!”

He reached out to me, but I couldn't look him in the eye. “What are you doing?”

“Leaving!” I yelled. “I'm leaving. That's what you want, isn't it?”

Ryan shook his head and stepped closer. “No, that isn't what I want.”

“You could have fooled me.” I pushed past him and walked to the door. My purse was on the floor and I scooped it up, but I couldn't find my shoes anywhere. Then it hit me. “I left my shoes in the cab,” I said, sinking to the floor.

Ryan sighed and sat down next to me. “I can call you a cab or I can drive you home tomorrow.”