The Lunam Ceremony (Book One) (30 page)

“You need to phase.” Rusty walks me to the woods near his cabin and tells me phasing is the only way to clear the scent. “Trust me, we know.” He looks back at Carrick. “Carrick’s seen you phase, so I know you can do it.”

Carrick shrugs and says, “Your cabin is right in front of the tower.”

Great. I bet they get a nice show.

“Leave your clothes. I’ll take them to the laundry with mine. Then I’ll go to your cabin and run you a bath.” Rusty pushes me into the trees and runs back to the truck.

I take off my boots and undress. I take a huge whiff of my Howlin’ Ale t-shirt and log Jase’s scent to memory. Rusty and Carrick will have erased him completely when I return. I close my eyes and let the tears flow freely as I phase.

I run around the perimeter fence until I reach the tower. As much as I want to go for a real run, into the woods, I know time is not on my side. I watch Rusty leave my cabin. If I listen close and focus, I can hear the bathtub running. I realize Rusty never seemed worried that Dillan would be home. He must not think I’m due back until later today. I feel a growl in my throat at the thought of him soaking up as much time with Cassie as he can. Murderous thoughts flip through my brain. I stalk through the snow and focus my hearing on the cabin with no backdoor. I hear them breathing, sleeping. I can crash through the window and tear out their throats before they even open an eye.

I pick up my speed and something crashes into me. I roll into a bush and recover quickly. I spring to my feet and growl. The eyes staring back at me are a mirror of my own. Standing a few yards away is a larger, darker wolf – Rusty. Carrick peeks from behind him. They must have been watching me. Rusty bows, submissively, and edges towards me. He whines and nudges my snout with his nose. I lick him in return. Carrick trots towards the gate and motions for us to join him. I follow Carrick and Rusty to the hole in the fence. We slip through and run up the hill. Rusty and Carrick prance over each other playfully; they look like two pups. When we reach the top of the hill, Carrick plops down and Rusty rests his head on his back. I sit and look out at the lake. It’s so still and peaceful. Layla taught me to swim in the pool at Harrah’s when I was seven. She said I wouldn’t need the skill very often, but it was something everyone needed to learn. Dillan promised to show me the ocean, but all of that seems like a fantasy now. Just a game we play to make the reality bearable. I don’t even know if I’ll be here when summer comes. I don’t know anything anymore.

I hear Carrick start to growl, then Rusty follows. By the time I catch the scent, they are in front of me, protecting me. I see them emerge a few hundred yards away; there are five of them. Even though they are small, mangy creatures, these coyotes have been living in the woods all their lives. They are survivors, hunters, fighters. Unlike us.

I break down the hill for the fence, and Carrick and Rusty flank me. They are fast, as fast as I am. The coyotes follow suit, but maintain a safe distance. It’s like they are corralling us back to our side of the fence. I skid under the chain links and crash into a garbage can. Its contents spill into the dirty snow. Carrick and Rusty come crashing through almost simultaneously, they phase back to human before they stop. Their naked bodies skid across the snow. Carrick jumps up and pushes the garbage container against the fence to block the hole. Rusty pulls a pair of pants from one of the trash bins and slides them on. Carrick runs over and does the same. They have stashed boots and jackets in the bin as well. I stand on all fours and watch them dress. Rusty turns to me and yells, “Go home!”

I sprint to my cabin. I leap onto the back porch and land on two feet.
That was fucking awesome.
I’m getting better and better. My hand is on the knob to the back door when I hear the front door open. I hop off the porch and hide underneath. It’s Dillan. I smell his sagey scent mingled with Cassie’s. Cassie’s scent is similar to Jase’s, except she has more of a minty odor. It makes me gag. The back door opens and Dillan steps out. I’m right underneath him, under the stairs. He pulls his shirt off, then his jeans. He plucks both socks off, and then steps out of his boxers. Is he going to phase? My heart races in anticipation. I wonder if he’s been phasing all this time and I never noticed. Suddenly, he stops and goes back inside. “Kalysia?” He crosses back through the kitchen. “Are you home?” He must have smelled me, sensed me. I hear him fumble with the dresser drawers, and then I hear his footsteps on the front porch. If he walks around back, he will see me crouching naked under the stairs. I should phase and run. I close my eyes and listen to his footsteps fading in the snow. Then I hear Drake. He calls out to Dillan and tells him I’m back. He says Ray spotted my truck in the lot. Dillan’s pace quickens like he’s running out to greet me. I hope that pine tree works.

I bolt up the back stairs and step over Dillan’s discarded clothes. My feet leave muddy prints through the kitchen and hall way, but I could care less. Rusty must have turned off the water before he intercepted me at Cassie’s. I dive into the bathtub, and water splashes all over the floor. I submerge my body in the large jetted tub and scream.

I stay in the bath until the water turns cold. I sort of hoped Dillan would come back and find me. Not that I want to sleep with him, but seeing me naked might defer his anger. I’m sure Rusty has told him that I went alone. Dillan finding out Tripp didn’t go on the run is inevitable. Rusty thought it was best for him to break the news; this way, Dillan wouldn’t feel like he was duped by his closest allies. Rusty is loyal to Dillan, but he is my brother, so him following my command wouldn’t be completely out of the ordinary.

I stand at the entrance to our bedroom, wrapped in a towel. The bed hasn’t been touched since I left. Dillan has spent every moment I was gone with Cassie. Dillan will never feel the same sting of jealousy that I will live with for the rest of my life. There is nothing to gain by telling Dillan about my night with Jase. The information is a dangerous weapon that will devastate Dillan and probably get Jase killed. It’s something I will guard with my life. The only people that know are Rusty and Carrick, and I know they won’t tell. They’re lives are built around secrecy; they hold a lot of value in privacy.

I let the towel drop to the floor and open the dresser. No use waiting around for Dillan. I’m sure he’s had his fill with Cassie. I pull on my underwear, and I hear the front door open and close.
Dillan.

I run to the living room and find Elle, Gavin’s mom, standing just inside the door with a laundry bag. “Oh my gosh!” She covers her eyes with her free hand. “I didn’t know anyone was here.”

I look at my bare breasts and duck back into the bedroom. “Sorry!” I put on a bra and throw a clean Howlin’ Ale t-shirt on with a pair of sweatpants. “I just got back.” I return to the living room with the towel I just used and hand it to Elle. “Here you go.”

She shoves the towel in the laundry bag marked with our cabin name. “Thank you.” She takes a step around me. “Do you mind?” She holds up the bag. “I’ll just take a quick lap and be out of your hair in a minute.”

I’m never here when they come and straighten up or get laundry. I’ve always taken care of these things myself. I didn’t want anyone cleaning our cabin or doing my laundry, but Dillan says everyone needs a job in order to contribute to the camp. Not everyone is an engineer. I’m defiantly not, yet I don’t have to clean other people’s dirty clothes. The only thing that separates me and Elle is our DNA. “How’s Gavin?” I call to her.

“Uh, he’s great.” She sounds surprised that I know her son’s name. “Thanks for asking.”

I wonder if Elle likes cleaning cabins for a living. What is her life like knowing she will never rise higher than this? She reappears in the living room with a large smile on her face. “I think that’s it.” Elle draws the string on the bag.

I look around awkwardly, like she may have missed a stray sock, then I remember Dillan’s clothes on the back porch. “Oh, um, Dillan left some things on the back porch.”

Elle grins and says, “Yeah, I know. I ran into him on my way over.”

“You saw him? Was he coming here?” I move away from the door and stand in the hall, behind Elle, as if she can protect me.

She looks towards the door, like the big bad wolf is about to burst into the room. “He was walking towards…um, he was going the other direction…” Elle looks at her feet and fidgets with the string on the bag.

“Oh, ok. Well thanks for stopping by.” I walk Elle to the door.

“Have a nice day, Kalysia,” she says and closes the door behind her.

I grab my walkie from the holder next to the front door. “Rusty, come in.”

I call him three times before he finally answers. “Hey sis, Dillan seemed to take it pretty calm, especially after I told him that you called Layla from the road to let her know you were ok. How’d it go on your end?”

“I haven’t seen him.” I picture him running to Cassie this morning, hoping to get one last quickie. Asshole.

“Oh.”

I don’t care about Dillan right now. He can wait. I want to talk to Layla about what I can and can’t do. If running this pack is my job, then I should be able to have final say on job distribution. Lowell and Adel only spent two years in the pack before moving out on their own. Who decides when you leave? Can I choose to move people out earlier?

“Rusty, can you take me to the brew house? I need to use the phone.” I release the talk button and wait for him to reply. I look at the empty hook beside the door and remember I don’t have a jacket. Rusty took my clothes to expel all traces of Jase. “Rusty, I’ll meet you at the laundry. I need to pick up a coat, over.”

I pull one of Dillan’s beanies on and wrap a scarf around my neck. The sun is out, but the air is icy, as usual. I’m a few feet from my cabin when Rusty calls back.

“Kal, yer ma…
click
…On her wa—”
Static.

“Rusty, I didn’t catch that. Say again?” I hold the walkie to my ear and wait. Then I see her. She’s dressed in a white snow parka and white pants, with gray snow boots. Sun glints off her dark glasses, and her hair is hidden under a scarf, but I would recognize her anywhere.

I wait for her on the porch with a big fake smile. Layla gives me a quick hug then heads inside. “Oh my.” She pulls her glasses off and unravels her scarf. “I forgot how thin the air is up here.” She grips her chest. I lean against the back of the sofa and wait for her to take off her coat and settle in.

“What are you doing here, Mom?” I cross my hands over my chest. “Are you checking up on me?”

“Course not. I just thought I ought to see your new place.” She looks around, unimpressed, even though the room is exquisite. “It’s cozy.”

“Yeah right,” I huff. “So, what do you consider the apartment in Pahrump?”

Layla’s eyes meet mine. “Functional,” she says sternly. “Pahrump was a temporary arrangement; it was never meant to be a home.”

I throw my arms in the air and walk towards the hallway. “It was only my entire childhood, Mother.” I spin around and bite my lip. I don’t want to tear up in front of her. “It wouldn’t have killed you, or me, to warm it up a bit. You know how embarrassing it was bringing friends over and not having one baby picture of me on the wall?” I meet her eyes. “They thought you kidnapped me or something.”

Layla laughs a little too hard at my joke, and I wonder if there is some truth to it.

“I happen to
love
this place.” I wave my arms around. “I’ve never felt more at home.” I pause and clear my throat as I think of me and Dillan. This is our home. “I’ve never been happier.”

Layla narrows her eyes at me. “You sure about that?”

I want to throw myself in my mother’s arms and cry. Instead I stand tall and say, “Yes.”

“So, have you seen Dillan today?” I can tell from her tone that she already knows the answer, so I don’t bother responding. “I’m surprised you’re here actually. I thought I would beat you home after partying all night.” Layla sits on the sofa. “Do you have any coffee?”

My jaw drops. She knows. She knows about Jase. I don’t know how, but I can tell by the smug way she’s watching me. “We don’t keep food in the cabins. If you want coffee, you have to go to the lodge.”

“What good is a kitchen if you don’t have food?”

I think about our first council meeting, which feels like a lifetime ago. “Not all the cabins have kitchens. I didn’t think it was right for a privileged few to keep camp food for themselves.”