“We're here!” I heard Jaron call. I walked out to see him, Brian, Megan, and Nathan standing in my living room.
“So I watched the new Sherlock Holmes movie again last night,” Brian said.
“Oh yeah?”
“You're right, the costumes are awesome.” He nodded in appreciation.
“You doubted me?” I put my hands on my hips.
“No, not at all.” He leaned against the back of the couch. “So, can I just wear a pair of trousers and the undershirt he spends so much time in? You remember those really cool pin-striped pants?”
“If you find the undershirt, of course. And…” I ran into my room and brought out the pinstripe material I'd picked for his pants. “I've already got you covered.” I felt proud of myself for that one.
“Awesome.” He reached out and touched the fabric. “Will that ruin whatever you have going on?”
“Not at all.” We'd be mismatched as far as how dressed up we were, but I didn't care. It suited Brian. I just needed to do a good enough job with his costume that people would get the reference.
“Hey, Leigh?” Jaron asked from the floor.
“Yeah?”
“Mom said you two talked for a long time the other day. That was good of you.” He looked over his Uno cards at me. He, Megan, and Nathan had started a game on the floor.
“Well, I've been kind of… difficult.” It was hard to get that out. “And I don't mean to be. It's just hard. I'd never taken the time to explain to Mom how I was feeling. I assumed that she knew.
“Well, it was good. I think you really made her happy.”
I was glad I'd taken the time and energy. I wondered if my mother would ever be able to just relax and enjoy life. She did in moments, but on the whole? She seemed to forever be worrying about something.
“Oh!” Brian said, “I started something for you.” He opened up his laptop. “You don't have to do anything with it, of course. I just used you as an assignment for a class, no big deal.”
“Well, you have me curious.” I started toward my room. “Let me get my measuring tape while that thing warms up.”
When I walked out of my room, Brian's laptop sat facing me. It looked perfect. He was a genius. He'd set up my online shop. He scooted a chair next to him so I could sit down.
“Brian,” I said, looking over at him with wide eyes. “This is amazing.” I slowly sat down.
He smiled, pleased with himself. “Go ahead, take the mouse and look around.”
I did as he asked. It was pretty, fun, and simple. All black and white with little splashes of pink lettering and borders. He'd downloaded all the pictures I'd taken of what I'd sewn. He'd matched patterns to finished items.
“You are really good at this. I mean, you, Brian, set up a girly website and did a fabulous job. I'm impressed but not surprised.” I couldn't take my eyes from the screen.
“You let me know if you want it up and running. I'm not terrible with marketing either, so if you want to be busy, I'm sure I could manage.” He looked at me, watching my reaction.
“Wow. Well, let me finish up this semester, and I know where to find you.” I leaned over and gave him a sideways hug. “You totally went above and beyond, Brian.” I sat back. That much work seemed like a big thing even though he'd done it for a class. “Okay, stand up. I need measurements if you want your pants to fit.”
He stood up slowly with slumped shoulders, like a teenager about to get his gym physical.
“I promise to be nice.” I laughed.
I ran the outside edge of Brian's pants through the sewing machine.
“Wow, that's it? And then they're all stuck together?” Nathan asked. He sat on my bed, watching.
I held the pants up and pulled, showing him where the machine had attached them. “See?”
“Cool!” He touched the fabric. “Are you going to do it again?”
“Yep.” I laughed. “And then again, and then again, and then again.”
He giggled.
“Can you hand me those pins there?” I pointed to my pincushion.
“Please?” He held them away from me.
“Yes, please.” I reached out.
I tossed Nathan one side of the pants, still inside out from sewing. “Can you pull those out?” I asked as I started pinning the other leg.
“What?”
“That's the insides of the pants.” I pointed to the seams.
“Oh, okay. Like laundry.” His eyebrows pulled together as he reached his small arm through the hole.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Like laundry.” I leaned over and kissed him.
“Leigh,” he responded, his voice filled with exasperation. “I'm trying to help.”
“Sorry,” I held a hand up between us. “I'll leave you alone.” I glanced over at Nathan while I stitched up the other leg. He worked very slow and careful, turning the pant leg right side out. What a sweetie. I tossed the other pant leg at him, hitting him in the face.
“Hey!” He ducked a little too late.
“I'll take the first one. You can do this one.”
“Hey, you two.” Brian stopped in my doorway.
I jumped. “You can't sneak up on me like that.”
“I knocked.” He laughed.
“I get distracted when I sew.”
“Good. That means you like it.” He sat next to Nathan. “Are you helping?”
“Yep.” Nathan held his leg up proudly.
“Wow, you're fast,” Brian said, looking at me.
“Well, I had an excellent little helper.” I ruffed up Nathan's brown hair.
“That's really cool. I remember sitting next to my mom for hours as a little boy, listening to her machine stitch away and watching the look of concentration on her face.”
“Hmm,” I said. I had memories of my mom in the kitchen. What would Nathan's memories be like? His life had been such a roller coaster. “Well, now I need you to put them on so I can measure for the hem.”
“O… kay.” He sounded so uncertain, maybe worried about what I'd do to him.
I took the pant leg from Nathan and did one quick stitch to put the two sides together. I held them up for Brian. “Just run into the bathroom and change. This isn't a big deal.” I swiveled my chair back to the machine. “I do it all the time.”
Brian came back in minutes wearing the pants. My measurements had been spot on. I couldn't help but be a little proud of myself. I clapped my hands in front of me in excitement.
“What?” He asked.
“You're going to look great.” I pulled out my pins and sat on the floor to mark the cuffs. “I'll put in the zipper tonight so you don't have to hold them up with your hands.”
“Uh… that would be good,” he chuckled.
I ran my hand up the inside of his thigh to make sure the fabric hung properly.
“Whoa, watch it there.” He laughed, but he hadn't flinched. It couldn't have bothered him too much.
“Whatever, Brian. It's part of making pants.” I folded the hem fabric carefully.
“Yeah, I bet that's what you tell all the boys.”
On the other leg I purposefully ran a hand on either side of his leg just to check his reaction, glad to know him well enough to tease that way.
“A few more inches, and I could get you for sexual harassment.” He laughed again.
“Well, like you said, this is what I do with all the boys.” I started sticking pins around the cuff, making sure the fabric laid well and the stripes matched up. I felt the first twinges of real excitement over going with Brian. We'd have fun.
I started piecing the first bits of Megan's pattern together. To me, it was going to look like something for a fourteen-year-old girl, but it held true to the 1830s or so, Jane Austen style, as Megan called it. Putting something so simple together allowed me to turn off my brain for a while. I put my headphones on and lost myself in my happy little world of sewing. The ache in my chest that was left in the wake of Noah was subsiding. It would be gone if I hadn't had to walk through the theater department every day. People wondering what happened between Noah and I, knowing he'd left school for LA. News like that travels fast. I knew they all assumed he'd dumped me before taking off. It's what I would have guessed. All I would do by correcting them is make Noah look bad to make myself feel better. It didn't seem fair.
Fortunately, I finished Megan's project before my thoughts strayed too far toward Noah and my stupidity. Because that's how I felt about the whole situation; I hadn't been smart about any of it.
“Megan! I'm done!” I called out.
I heard her sprint across the room. She appeared in my doorway, breathless. “Can I wear it now?”
“I need to fit you, so yeah, put it on.”
She stripped down right there and slid the dress over her head. I'd hidden a zipper in the side but had put some pretty buttons up the back for appearances. I liked the little details. She held onto the skirt of the dress with both hands and walked happily around our small living room.
“It's so perfect, Leigh. Thank you.” She threw her arms around me.
“You're very welcome. It's the least I can do.”
“Hey…” she said as she ran her hands down the silky floral fabric. “My mom and I went wedding dress shopping the other day, and I didn't see anything. Would you be willing…?”
“Of course.” I smiled at her. “I'd love to do a dress for you.”
She threw her arms around me again. “Thank you so much!”
“Don't thank me yet. It might turn out horribly.” I laughed.
“I don't think so.” She turned back and forth in her dress a few times. “I want it almost just like this one.”
“Well, then it will turn out fabulous,” I teased.
Jaron was getting married. It hit me again. I still felt amazed that my brothers and I were at that point in our lives. Joseph with kids we didn't know, and I guessed Jaron and Megan wouldn't waste any time starting a family. It was overwhelming in a way, all the change. What would be next?
thirty-one
I wasn't completely decided on wearing the corset I'd made until I tried on the dress. I'd gained weight since Noah. The dress didn't fit. I slid the dress off and laced the corset, tightening it enough for the dress but still allowing more breathing room than any woman of the day would have been allowed.
My collar came up almost to my chin, and my sleeves went down past my wrist bones. I had sewn very tiny pleated ruffles on the edge of everything: collar, sleeves, hem, waist; anywhere there was an edge, there was a small ruffle. My waist felt tiny in the corset and snug bodice. The front of the floor-length skirt was a simple A-line, but the back came up all in a bustle and layers. I felt sexy in something that covered me completely. I walked into the bathroom and checked my hair, which had been meticulously piled in neat curls on top of my head. I took stage makeup and painted on my mask. It seemed silly to put on makeup only to cover it with a cheap mask. I picked up my small top hat, which I'd added a few feathers to earlier, and rested it just off center on the top of my head. I stepped out of the bathroom for one more look over in the full-length mirror. I barely recognized myself. It felt exactly what I needed. To be a different version of myself for a night.
I put on my gloves and headed out the door. I didn't know what to expect from my night out, but I knew I'd have fun. At least I didn't have to worry about Brian being crazy. I rubbed my hands down the black satin as I stepped up the stairs into the backyard.
I looked down at my costume again in the dark. I wondered if anyone would even see the small details I'd worked so hard on.
“Leigh?” I heard Julie's voice. “Oh my gosh. You look incredible.” She immediately walked down to inspect me more closely. Julie was due any day; she seemed to be following her own belly.
Her mouth still gaped open when we met on the driveway.
“Thanks.” I couldn't stay still, even with the stupid corset on. Her reaction just added to the excitement that had been slowly building.
I looked up to see Brian, Jaron, and Megan all staring down at me. Brian looked great: handsome, strong, and just like I'd pictured. I'd tried hard to keep him comfortable. Everything fit perfectly. He too could have walked right into that movie.
“Whoa, Leigh.” Megan ran down the stairs in her flowing dress, hair falling loosely behind her. We looked like opposites. “It turned out amazing.”
“Thanks.” I bent over again to look at myself.