The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional (47 page)

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. ECCLESIASTES 4:9-10

MARRIAGE WAS DESIGNED by God to meet man's need for companionship. God said of Adam,"It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him" (Genesis 2:18). However, some couples have not found companionship in marriage. They are still alone, cut off, and isolated.

Such loneliness may be painful, but it is doesn't have to last forever. We can overcome loneliness by taking positive action. I suggest taking "baby steps." Don't look at the whole and think about how bad your marriage is. Rather, focus on one step you might take to make it better.

Break through the silence with one act of kindness. Give her a flower, and say, "I was thinking about you today." Look for something he does well, and tell him you appreciate it. Give him a passionate kiss, and say,"I just wanted to remind you of what it was like when we first married. I'm willing to start over if you are." Remember that the Bible is clear about the benefits of companionship, as we read in the book of Ecclesiastes. We are made for each other, and we can support each other in innumerable ways. Keep taking steps toward each other, and loneliness will evaporate.

Father, you know how lonely I feel sometimes. Thank you forgiving me my spouse, and thank you for creating us to be companions who can help each other and relieve each other's loneliness. Please give us the courage to take those first steps toward closer companionship.

Two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. ECCLESIASTES 4:11-12

THERE ARE TWO TYPES of loneliness: emotional and social. We can experience both of these, even in marriage.

Emotional loneliness is not feeling close to your spouse. You feel like you and your mate don't really know each other. Social loneliness is the feeling of isolation that comes when you and your spouse have no shared activities. You don't do anything together.

The cure to emotional loneliness comes not from cursing the darkness but from initiating conversation. Start with simple questions: "Did you eat anything exciting today?" "What was the best moment of your day?" Move to more important questions: "When you think of the future, what could I do to enhance your life?"

The cure to social loneliness is to initiate activities together. Rather than complaining that you don't ever do anything together, plan something that you think your spouse would enjoy and invite him or her to join you. Positive action is always better than negative complaints. The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step-and it is a worthwhile journey. As the book of Ecclesiastes reminds us, there are many reasons why two are better than one. Embrace that concept and seek out deeper companionship with your spouse.

Lord God, I am encouraged by these ideas of things to do to combat the loneliness I feel. Help me to initiate conversations and activities that will bring my spouse and me closer together. I want to take the first step. Thank you for creating us to be companions.

What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? MATTHEW 16:26

WORK IS A NOBLE ENDEAVOR. In fact, the Bible says that if a man will not work, neither should he eat (see 2 Thessalonians 3:10).

But can we work too much? Did not God institute the Sabbath, a day of rest every seven days? The Ten Commandments instruct that the seventh day of the week should be a day set apart from regular work and dedicated to the Lord. Why? In imitation of God himself, who rested on the seventh day after creating the universe. Jesus also challenged his disciples in the passage above by asking them to weigh worldly success with spiritual success. "What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?"

Is vocational success worth losing a marriage? The Scriptures teach that life's meaning is not found in things but in relationships-first, with God, and second, with family and others. This is where life finds real meaning: knowing God and loving family.

Is it possible that you need to readjust your lifestyle? Are you and your spouse growing apart? Could you live with less and be happier if you had more time for each other? Will your children remember you as the parent who worked or the parent who loved?

Lord God, please help me to consider honestly the balance in my life. Am I working so hard for financial or vocational success that I'm ignoring my relationships with you and my family? Help me to find the right priorities-and to have the courage to act on them.

Live happily with the woman you love through all the ... days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil. ECCLESIASTES 9:9

WHEN WE TALK about work and family and how to balance the two, the answer is not always less work. Sometimes it is integrating the family into your work. For example, does your job allow the opportunity for you and your spouse to have lunch together from time to time? Such lunches can be an oasis in the midst of a dry day.

If your job requires travel, could you take your spouse or one of your children with you? This allows a mini-vacation that you might not otherwise be able to afford. It also exposes your family to your vocation and gives them a little more appreciation for what you do.

Less work and more time at home is not necessarily the answer. Better use of time at home may make all the difference. Do something different tonight with a family member. Get out of the routine. Take initiative.

Such actions say, "I care about this relationship. I want to keep it alive. I enjoy being with you. Let's do something you would like to do." Minimize the television; maximize activity and conversation. According to Ecclesiastes 9:9, the Bible says your spouse is a gift. Hard work is a necessary part of life, but a marriage partner is a reward and a blessing. When you remember that and prioritize accordingly, you will keep your marriage alive and growing.

Lord Jesus, I'm grateful for the gift of my spouse. Please help me to make him or her a priority. Show me creative ways to increase my time with him or her, and ways to make that time meaningful.